by Barbara Lohr
“You’ll have a flower shop on the square one day,” Emily murmured. But in the face of such eye-popping splendor, the words sounded hollow.
“Put this date on your calendars.” Bryn pointed to the smaller typeface under the Coming Soon message. “She’s having an open house with homemade croissants.”
“We’re definitely going.” Josie shot Emily a sly glance. “And chocolate croissants won’t be the reason.”
Emily shoved away. “Let’s keep walking.” She had to stay on the move. To think that they would have Victoria plunked down right in the middle of their usual morning walk made acid swirl in her stomach. Emily led them down a side street.
“I’m meeting a guy named Mark.” There it was out. Emily hoped the words sounded brave and confident.
Grabbing her arm, Josie jerked her to a halt. “What’s this? A response to your ad?” Her friend regarded her with eyes that demanded more.
“Okay, we want details,” Bryn chimed in.
“He has dark hair.”
Josie gave her a look. “Like some other guy we know?”
“More dark brown than black.” She thought back to Mark’s profile. “He has his own company, or so it said. Online venture, of course.”
“When are you meeting him?” Bryn asked. They’d come to the corner where Emily usually circled back to her apartment.
“Today around six o’clock. Mama’s Diner in Bluffton.”
“Call the minute you leave him.” Josie wiggled her eyebrows. “Or maybe you won’t leave him. Maybe this first meeting will turn into something more.”
“Stop that.” Bryn elbowed Josie. “You’re freaking Emily out.”
Butterflies circled in Emily’s stomach. “I don’t need any ‘something more.’ Sweet romance is what I need. A soulmate to bring me flowers. A man who appreciates my cooking.”
Bryn sighed but Josie blurted out, “Oh, please.”
Emily ignored her. “And now, I have to head home to work.”
With a wave, Emily turned off, lengthening her steps to what she hoped looked like a casual lope. Although she’d never admit it to Josie or Bryn, she was nervous about meeting Mark.
But she had to push ahead. Seeing Victoria with Jackson had ignited a fire inside. She had to find someone. But what qualities was she looking for? Jackson’s questions had made her think.
Maybe she’d use him as a yardstick. Her friend was easy to be with, had a good sense of humor and was considerate. Any other man wouldn’t have offered to fix her leaking pipe or pull out her refrigerator to take care of a rattle she hadn’t even heard.
Did she believe the explanation of his relationship with Victoria? Not really. And that was fine. Emily valued their relationship just as it was. No way did she want to goof things up by getting ideas.
Jackson had never suggested being more than a friend.
When that possibility opened up in her mind, she shut it down fast. Her body reacted in some startling ways. Blushing, she stifled it.
By the time she reached her apartment, the red convertible was there, alongside Jackson’s black truck.
Emily gritted her teeth.
Mama’s Diner, here I come.
***
I can do this. I want to do this. The words echoed in Emily’s mind as she drove toward Bluffton. Mark sounded nice in his profile. He liked good jazz and plain food, whatever that meant. She thought of her chili. Next to her in the passenger seat sat a frozen container. She’d play this by ear, but food was always a gesture of good will. Or something like that.
Recently single, Mark had been vague about what he did for a living. And what did “recently single” mean? Was he divorced? Widowed? According to the profile, he was in his late twenties. Mark hadn't posted a video of himself, and she respected that. Emily wouldn’t even consider putting a video out in cyberspace.
The two-lane highway wasn’t busy. Dusk was falling. Before long, the lights of Bluffton twinkled before her. She hoped the diner wouldn’t be crowded. Both hands on the wheel, she eased up on the accelerator and took some deep breaths. Eileen, her therapist in Atlanta, had taught her that. The breathing worked but she had to keep at it. How embarrassing if she met someone she liked, but a panic attack drove her from the diner.
Still easing air in and out, she drove into town, past the furniture warehouse and some design studios. Like most of the small towns, Bluffton had its share of artists, drawn there by the beautiful scenery and laid-back attitude. The town was smaller than Sweetwater Creek and working hard at becoming a tourist destination. Kitschy shops with antiques, clothing and toys dotted the small downtown area.
Once she hit Main Street, she drove right to the end where Mama’s Diner sat. She pulled in. When she was in grade school, her mother had brought her here to shop and have lunch. But that was long ago. The diner was set in an old boxcar painted red with white trim. Compact. Possibly claustrophobic when it was crowded.
Her hands worked the steering wheel. She counted the cars. Five. All the stuff written about online dating said women should meet men in public areas. Did this qualify? Maybe next time she’d suggest a mall somewhere. A place where she could easily leave. A place where she might not feel trapped.
But she was here. Panic began to rise in her chest. She tugged at the neckline of her blue flowered hoodie.
Breathe it down. Eileen had taught her how to manage the nameless terror that clawed at her in crowded places. She sucked in a deep breath, held it and slowly exhaled. The parking wasn’t crowded. Not crowded. She repeated that phrase in her mind.
Her anxiety lessened. The tightness in her chest loosened its hold. She breathed deeper. If more people arrived, she’d deal with it then.
Glancing in her rearview mirror, she smoothed her wavy hair. Although Emily often wore her hair up in a ponytail, she’d decided to leave it down tonight, remembering what Jackson had said about it. Maybe the soft waves were a more feminine look. But she’d eaten off her pink lip gloss on the trip over and quickly applied more. Her eyes had more mascara than usual, along with liner.
Showtime. She eased out a tight breath.
This dating deal felt like work. Almost like the worst job interview she’d ever had, and she’d had some real winners in the city. At the top of her list was the guy who told her he wished he had a dollar for every new graduate who couldn’t find work. Not a confidence builder. While she played with the handle of her car door, indecision set in. The thought of having to spill out her life to a stranger kept her rooted in her seat.
Then her mother’s Sunday dinners came to mind. She sure didn’t want to be sitting at that table forever, fending off questions about her personal life. No one else would find someone for her. She had to do this for herself. Sitting in a club, waiting to be chatted up hadn’t brought her the man of her dreams. It had brought her Eric. And she wasn’t going there again.
Her hand hurt from working that door handle. Josie and Bryn were expecting a report. They’d be disappointed if she chickened out now. Although they’d be sympathetic, her friends couldn’t quiet her demons. She got out of the car.
A blue neon sign that said Welcome glowed on the door when she pushed it open. The smell of coffee and food on the griddle greeted her. Emily spotted Mark immediately. He had to be the young guy in the red vinyl booth. But what was he doing? She fingered her tote slung over one shoulder. Was he jamming packets of sugar into his rumpled coat? His jacket made her Goodwill find look like Sax Fifth Avenue.
She wouldn’t judge people on first impressions. Lifting her chin, Emily walked back. Her boots clicked on the tile floor. On her left was a case of tempting pies with golden crust and mile-high meringue. Maybe she’d have dessert. But for now, she kept her attention on the man.
“Mark?” She drew closer.
Looking up, he gave her a smile but he didn’t stand. That wouldn’t go over well with Daddy, who was a stickler about manners. Taking what looked like a yellow list from his pocket, he glanced down. “Rig
ht. Emma?”
“Emily,” she said softly, sliding into the booth across from him. “My name is Emily. Have you been waiting long?” Six empty packets of sugar littered the counter.
“Not too long.” He glanced at a phone sitting on the table.
Was he checking the time or another list? Finally he looked up. The red-rimmed eyes made her wonder if he’d slept lately. Maybe this online dating stuff was difficult for him too.
Her father always said there was nothing that a good hot shower wouldn’t cure. Obviously Mark didn’t believe in that. Separated from him by a shiny-topped table, she picked up a sour odor.
Maybe it wasn’t coming from Mark. Emily didn’t want to begin on a sour note, er, wrong foot. How did this work? She hadn’t eaten dinner and grabbed a menu. “Should we order?”
While she studied the list, he studied her. The close scrutiny felt invasive and uncomfortable. Mark wrapped his hands tighter around his mug. “I’ll stick with coffee. They have great coffee here.”
Her stomach rumbled. Mama’s Diner was known for its burgers.
“Oh, I need more than that.” A burger would take time. And she didn’t know how long she wanted to sit here. Definitely not long enough for pie. The waitress had arrived. Emily looked up and smiled. “Two eggs over easy with wheat toast. And coffee, please.”
Scribbling on her pad, the girl in the pink uniform and white apron turned to Mark. He tapped his empty mug. “Just more coffee.”
“Okey doke. So you’ll have your usual?”
His usual? Was the girl sending Emily a message?
“One check or two?” the waitress asked pertly.
Before Emily could open her mouth, Mark held up two fingers, like a peace sign. “Two.”
“Like usual. Okey doke.”
Yep, Mark was a regular.
The waitress bustled back to the kitchen while Emily struggled with her feelings. She felt out of her element here. Sure, when she went out with friends, she was used to picking up her own tab. That part was fine. She’d planned on it. But it was nice to have a man offer. Once again she felt her father’s gentle disapproval.
“Do you live around here?” Mark asked.
A red flag went up. No way was she giving out any personal information. “Not too far away. How about you?” Somewhere she’d read that if you didn’t like a question, come back with one of your own.
This meeting definitely called for that approach.
“I live out in Hales Corners.” He threw the name out as if she should know it. But she had no clue.
“Is that near Bluffton?”
“Sort of.” Mark slurped his coffee. “I used to have a really nice place over there. You know, with the woman I was seeing.”
Okay, that explained recently single. “But you don’t own that home anymore?”
“No.” Head down, Mark wasn’t great at eye contact. The waitress came back. She slid a mug of coffee toward Emily, refilled Mark’s cup and left. He didn’t thank her. Instead, he picked up a napkin and began to shred it. “It was her place.”
“How long ago did you two break up, Mark? If you don’t mind my asking.”
Hunching toward her, he mumbled, “Mark’s not my real name. I’m Keith.”
“Oh, I see.” But she didn’t. Why in the world wouldn’t he give his real name? She decided not to ask and sipped her coffee.
“We broke up about three months ago.” Turning, he frowned out the plate glass window as if he expected to see his former girlfriend. “Yeah, I guess it was about three months.”
Emily didn’t want the details. She was beginning to wish she’d skipped the food.
“We had an online company together.”
Now this was a comment she could jump on. “Isn’t that great? It’s so easy these days.”
He snorted. “Easy for her to take the rights to my ideas and kick me out.”
So that’s how it was. Emily couldn’t stand whiners. There were always two sides to any story. She knew that well.
If only the food would arrive. “So are you working on the latest new whiz-bang app?”
His eyes narrowed and Keith hunched closer. “How did you know that?”
The sour stench grew thicker. Where was that waitress? The diner wasn’t that busy and eggs only took minutes. “It was in your ad. ‘Always working on a new app.’ ” Somehow those words came back to her.
His face cleared and Keith slouched back. “Oh, yeah. That part.”
While they talked, his phone kept pinging. He answered two texts right in front of her, probably setting up his next meeting. By this time she didn’t care.
Finally the waitress arrived with a huge plate of eggs, toast and hash browns she hadn’t ordered. “Can I bring you anything else?”
Emily looked over at Keith. But he shook his head, eyes riveted to the food.
“I think we’re done here,” Emily said. The waitress gave a strangled snort. Maybe she’d watched this scene unfold before.
Emily had never eaten eggs so fast in her life. Luckily they slid down her throat while Keith kept up a one-man monologue about his ex. Sherry had done him wrong in so many ways.
Poor Sherry. Emily could only imagine.
Finally, she pushed her plate away. “Listen, it’s been nice meeting you, Mark. Er, Keith. But I have an appointment with a client. Have to run.” She crossed her fingers under the table. She hated lying but white lies might be necessary in the online dating world.
His eyebrows when up. “Oh, well. Sure. So, you think you want to do this again?”
Never in a million years. “Why don’t we think about it?” She threw bills on the table, grabbed her coat and got up with a quick wave. “Bye now. Have a nice evening.”
It wouldn’t surprise her at all if this guy didn’t scoop the money from the table. When Emily got to her car, she jumped in, locked the door and started the engine. Through the windshield, she could see Keith chowing down on what was left of her meal. Leaning against the counter across from him with arms crossed, the waitress watched him in disgust.
And this was Emily’s life now?
Her container of chili was defrosting on the seat. With a disgusted sigh, she plopped it on the floor. No way.
As she drove away, she saw the last forty-five minutes in a different light. She’d survived and parts had been kind of funny. But a wave of sadness swept over her too. Keith was hurting about a loss he couldn’t control. She’d been there. But wallowing never helped fix a problem.
And she wasn’t wallowing anymore. She was a woman on the move. Although she was new to this online dating, she doubted that many women met Mr. Forever Man the first time around.
How many meetings would it take? Maybe she’d have to think of this like interviewing for a job. Prepare better, the way she had for interviews.
Thinking back, she decided she’d handled this pretty well. No panic attack nibbling at the edge of her consciousness. She’d been too busy thinking of what to say next. The place hadn’t been crowded so she was good there. And it had been easy to leave. The doors were close. She’d learned to check out her surroundings after a crowded birthday party in the city. The way out hadn’t been clear. That had been one of the worst experiences of her life until she’d stumbled out onto a back porch.
But now she was in her car, driving home. One meeting down and she didn’t know how many more to go. But she was in control. Letting herself relax in the seat, she enjoyed the ride.
A soft dusk was falling. The two-lane highway ran between the marshlands. An occasional heron or egret flew into the sky as she passed. Aware that dawn and dusk were key times for deer to be afoot, she slowed her speed. No way did she want to run into a deer.
When she reached the outskirts of Sweetwater Creek, she stopped at Winn Dixie.
Her next blog post would be on grains, and she wanted to pick up some couscous and quinoa. Grabbing a cart, she wiped it down with one of the antibacterial tissues the store kept in the cart corral.
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“Hey, Emily?” Jackson stood in front of her looking fresh in a navy jacket with a white T-shirt peeking through at the unzipped neck. He smelled of soap. Remembering her diner disaster, she drank in the clean smell.
“Hi, Jackson.” Looking over his casually cool look, she couldn’t help but compare him with the man she’d just met.
“So how’s your ad coming?”
Wow. That was the one question she did not want to hear. Not tonight and not from him. “Great, I just met my first prospect. There will definitely be a second, but not with him.” Injecting humor into her voice wasn’t easy.
His eyebrows rose. “How did that go?”
She had to choose her words carefully. No way did she want Jackson to feel sorry for her. “Not exactly what I planned on.” Or hoped for.
They were blocking the cart corral. A couple came through and Jackson edged aside, taking Emily with him. His hands on her shoulders felt good, protective. Then he seemed to realize he was still holding her and dropped his hands. “Where did you meet him?”
Why was he asking all this stuff? “Over in Bluffton. Not too far away.”
Jackson’s lips settled into a firm line. “I hate to butt in...,” he finally said. But he was. “You don’t know these guys, Em.”
Amazement dropped her jaw. “Isn’t that the whole point of online dating?”
Now it was his turn to look puzzled. “I guess so, but you have to be careful.”
Another time, another night, she might have appreciated his brotherly tone. But not tonight. “Somehow I managed to get back here alive. No hatchet murder.”
That brought a slow grin.
She tossed her head. “It went fine.” No way was she going into details.
Jackson leaned closer. “So, you won’t be seeing him again?”
If you only knew. But his concern touched her. “No, I don’t think so.”
She edged her cart around him. “Sorry but I’ve got work to do. I guess you do too.” Was he on his way to or from Victoria’s?
“Right. Well, see you later.” With that, he turned and headed for his black truck with that easy, long-legged gait.
It wasn’t easy to tear her gaze away. She wheeled her cart into the brightly lit store. Time to concentrate on grains and not guys.