I can see the sympathy in his eyes; the slight golden hue to his eyes comforts me. Raphael flexes his wings a bit, drawing the attention away from his eyes. I stare at the beautiful white, almost opalescent color of his feathers. Deep down, I want to touch them to see if they are as soft as my feathers.
“Can we get this over with!” Azrael barks out, jolting me from my inner monologue. Raphael offers me a reassuring smile as he motions for me to proceed.
Drawing in a steadying breath, I walk between Azrael and Raphael to be alongside the murderer's bed. I angle my body so that I can’t see either of their eyes upon me. Tilting my head back slowly, I start to focus my shift first on my clothing. My scrubs change to my beautiful black wedding gown. I pay more attention to the details of my gown. The gown itself is off the shoulder with see-through sleeves; the bodice has intricate beadwork accentuating my figure. There's a thin lace belt with white pearls fastened around my waistline. The gossamer train of the gown seems to float effortlessly behind me, giving me an ethereal appearance.
I don’t dare look at Raphael as I unfurl my wings. I give them a slight flex and hold them half open. From the waist of the dress, I pull free my black veil and place it reverently upon my head, obscuring my face from view. Slowly like a stalking panther, I lean over the murderer and put my hands on his cheeks. His eyes open quickly, and he looks up to me with fear in his eyes. I know the visage he sees all too well, I look like a red eyed demon with razor sharp teeth. When a dark soul is taken, I appear to them as their worse fear, a light soul sees only an angel.
“No! I’m not ready! I’m too young to die!” He screams as he tries to escape my grasp. I flex my wings once and pull his soul from his body, almost violently. The wicked souls always try to cling to their vessels; not once has one come willingly. The black inky mass tries to break free of my grasp.
I cage the soul between my fingers and squeeze tightly as I turn to Azrael. My lithe hands extend out to him, and quickly he takes the soul from me. A smirk plays upon his lips as he looks at me. “You have passed my test, Thana, I’ll see you at the Mate Trials.” He vanishes in a wisp of smoke.
I shift back slowly, slightly tired from harvesting two souls in one night. My head hangs low as I stare at the floor between my feet. Raphael hasn’t said a word to me since witnessing me take a dark soul. I feel like a monster, I always do. Slowly I turn my head to look over my shoulder at him. His eyes shine golden, and a new look crosses his face. I’m not sure what the look is, but it's not a look I’ve seen from him before. Raphael flexes his wings twice then puts them away.
“You … Did good, Thana.” He stumbles over his words as his right hand rubs the back of his neck. I just nod and leave the room. I need to take a break and get my head back into the game.
I return to the nurses’ station and find my coffee missing again. A single black feather is left behind as a calling card for the coffee thief. Every few shifts my coffee keeps vanishing, that delicious life sustaining fluid my only solace on a night like tonight. I sit down and hang my head, I never wanted anyone to watch me take a soul. Especially not Raphael, anyone other than him would have been fine, better even. I’m a halfblooded abomination, I’m sure the Mate Trials will prove to be a waste of time. Wordlessly, Mark saves my ass and drops off a new cup of coffee, hopefully all that I lost will be at the bottom of the cup.
The events of tonight replay in my head in slow motion. How dare Azrael test Thana on the same night as I did. She’s got to be exhausted after freeing the old man from his earthly bonds. Her text has me on edge, and I arrive at her side the fastest way I know how to.
The way her eyes roam over me—how I imagine a lover’s caress—makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. She looks so frightened and unsure of herself that my instincts push me to protect her from whatever Azrael may be up to.
In what I will find out to be my smartest move to date I leave my wings on display hanging half open. In my head it is more in solidarity with Thana so that she doesn’t feel alone being the only one with their wings exposed. This is the first time I get to see how she works, and it’s captivating.
Her scrubs turn to an ornate and beautiful black lace and gossamer wedding gown. But the thing that almost makes my heart stop in my chest is the sight of her wings. My own wings want to flex and expand to show off their grandeur to her. A male’s wings are his pride and joy, it’s like how human males take pride in the size of their penis. An angel’s wings are almost directly indicative of the power, strength, and rank of the male. Azrael’s eyes glance over to me, and I give him an almost bored looking expression hiding the excitement bubbling up in my chest.
So many nights I prayed to the creator, yet I have only ever asked one thing for myself. Over the hundreds of centuries I have wandered the earth, doing as the creator instructed, I finally desired one thing. Thana … In a cruel twist of fate, I have to contain my excitement, hide how joyous this occasion actually is. All because of Azrael. If he were to find out that Thana is mine before the Mate Trials, he may construct a reason to kill her. The thought of losing my mate causes my heart to constrict, almost stealing the breath from my lungs.
There’s beauty in the way she spreads her smoke-colored wings and lowers her body, the muscles of her back flex and constrict. My hands ache to feel her muscles move under them. Her lithe hands reach out and cup the murder’s face and I wish it was me she was holding. His eyes suddenly open and the sheer look of terror makes my eyes widen. I start to wonder exactly what he is seeing through the veil that scares him so much. Thana is the most beautiful woman in the world, his reaction truly puzzles me. With a single flex of her wings, she rips his black inky soul from his body. To me it looks like a black slithering mass, evil incarnate. She cages his soul in her hands and retracts her wings after offering it to Azrael like she does with me.
Her gaze seems sad, almost haunted. Yet all I feel is love and adoration for her. Her exhaustion is evident as she stares at her feet and keeps her eyes downcast. Finally, my wings allow me to retract them, and I make sure to tell Thana she did good. Her eyes find mine for a brief moment, and I feel like a teenage boy crushing on his first love. I can’t help but rub the back of my neck trying to keep my hands busy, so I don’t reach for her.
I watch Thana leave the room, and all I wish to do is go after her and comfort her like I had done earlier. The dark nephilim side of Thana has always upset her, and usually I hold her afterwards, I know having exposed her wings she feels hurt. I’m guessing she didn’t ever want me to see this side of her, hopefully she’ll open up to me sooner rather than later.
I’ve suspected for a while now that she was meant to be mine. Seeing Thana’s smoke-gray wings and mine flexing in response solidified my suspicions. My chest hurts, watching Thana walk away none the wiser. Thankfully, Azrael doesn’t seem to suspect anything, at least he didn’t say anything to me if he did. The next week is going to be hell on my nerves. I must keep my secret to keep us both safe. Heavens forbid any of the dark nephilim find out an archangel has taken a hybrid nephilim as a mate. War may break out, or worse yet, they may hunt her down and extinguish her light, thus possibly killing me in the process.
Slowly, I draw the sheet up over the murderer and then pull out my phone. Several swipes later I arrive at the site to fill out the death certificate for the man. For appearances sake I lift his wrist and pretend to look at his name band. Carefully, I walk around the room to make sure no evidence of divine intervention had occurred. There on the floor next to the bed is one of Thana’s soft, smoke-gray feathers. Quickly, I look around my surroundings making sure I am alone before I bend down and pick it up. Her feather is velvet soft and slightly curled which tells me it came from close to her body. Reverently, I cup her feather and hold it close to my chest for much longer than would be deemed normal, and then tuck it carefully into the interior chest pocket of my suit jacket to keep it safe.
Taking a few calming breaths, I step out of the room and
find Christian waiting in the hallway. “What happened, Raph? You look dazed?” he says as he comes over and grips my shoulders, trying to steady me. His eyes scan my face, then my suit, looking for any signs that I may have been injured.
Several more deep breaths escape my lips before I can compose myself enough. My eyes drift up and down the hallway, then back to Christian. “Not here,” I say before turning on heel, taking long strides to get down the hallway as fast as possible. Christian follows immediately, like I knew he would. The office at the end of the hallway is open, so I dart in there. Christian enters and closes the door behind him and makes sure it's locked. I’ll just have to pray no one from any of the realms is listening in.
“What was that all about Raph? That’s not like you!” Christian says, motioning to the hall beyond the closed door.
“Thana.” Is all I say before sitting in the chair closest to me. My fingers thread through my hair, and I bow my head down, holding it as I think about the implications of what just happened.
Christian drops to his knees before me and tries to get me to look at him. “Is she okay? Did she pass?” He seems as frightened as I feel, his dark brown eyes beg me for the answers I’m afraid to utter out loud.
“Yes.” I rest my elbows on my knees and close my eyes. My chest feels as if someone is crushing my heart in their hand. I’m almost gasping for breath still processing what happened.
“Then what’s wrong Raph, you’re really starting to scare me, man,” Christian says as he rests a hand on my forearm, trying to get me to look at him.
Finally, I raise my head, and I know my eyes swirl liquid gold. “She’s mine.”
That simple statement just changed my existence. Until she acknowledges me as hers, I will be in my own personal hell. Shock then sympathy fly over Christian’s face. Finally, after a myriad of emotions cross his usually serious expression, he settles on ecstatic. “This is wonderous news!” he shouts, then silences himself just as quickly. He jumps up from where he was kneeling before me to look out the blinds on the office door. Thankfully, no one usually ventures down this part of the hallway often unless it’s the janitor.
I finally understand what purgatory must be like, it’s not quite Hell because there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. But that light is six days from now and I’m not sure I can hold it together that long. My heart is pounding out of control and my lungs feel like they are starving for air. “What am I going to do Christian? She’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.” Sighing I put my head back in my hands. “I feel like I will die without her. Me, an archangel, I feel powerless for once in my long life.” My voice nearly cracks with pent up emotions. I don’t like feeling this weak, this out of control.
Christian turns on the coffee pot that’s in the corner of the office and makes us both a cup of much-needed coffee. After what feels like forever, he hands me a cup and pulls a chair up in front of me and sits down. “You have been blessed beyond measure with such a sweet, caring and thoughtful mate.” A weak smile crosses his lips. “I would give anything to find my mate and have her be half the woman that Thana is.” His forced smile finally faulters. “My team and I will keep a close eye on her and protect her even more than we already do. You have my word brother.” Christian extends his hand to me, and we grip each other’s forearms. An angel’s word is his bond, and we would never break the sacred oath.
I grip his forearm tighter and look deeply into his eyes. “I am grateful and honored by your promise of protection for Thana.” I lean forward and press my forehead to his solidifying his oath.
Slowly I lean back and smile. “Hell must have frozen over, it’s been over five centuries since an archangel has taken a mate. This may be the trials that we both walk away with mates.” Smiling broadly my heart is full of hope for Christian.
He slowly nods his head and forces a smile. “Positivity will bring positive results! I will be positive, besides if a workaholic like you is gifted a mate maybe I’m next.” He smiles a little broader as he pokes fun at me. Shaking my head, I slowly release his forearm.
“Let’s go take a walk around the hospital and make sure everything is where it belongs before it gets much later.” We leave our hiding place and I resume my rounds as Christian goes off to double check on security for the hospital.
The morgue has come to claim the body, and I see Thana and Joscelyn huddled up together behind the nurses’ station. Joscelyn is running her fingers through Thana’s long blonde hair holding her tightly. Casually I motion with my head indicating I would like to speak with her. Joscelyn nods and says something to Thana before following me down the hallway.
“You summoned me, your holiness?” Joscelyn says softly before looking back down the hallway then up at me.
“How’s Thana? She seemed broken after taking the dark soul. I wanted to comfort her but with Azrael lurking around I didn’t want her to attract his attention.” It’s harder than I imagined asking about my mate without approaching her to see for myself. Several times I have to check to make sure my “director” face is on, not the caring mate one.
Joscelyn looks from me then back over to the nurse’s station then sighs. “Honestly, she feels like a monster. She never wanted you, or anyone for that matter to ever see that side of her.” Joscelyn looks back over her shoulder again watching Thana sip at her coffee.
I nod slowly—there’s the root of the problem. “Thank you for your candor,” I say smoothly before heading to the nurses’ station.
Thana’s head whips up as soon as I enter her field of vision. Apparently, all the answers to the universe are located in the bottom of her coffee cup. “Would you like to talk? You seem shaken?” I feel awkward and unsure of myself for once in my life. Thana’s eyes search my face for longer than usual.
“It probably wouldn’t hurt, that is, if you can spare the time.” Half a smile breaks free, and I swear I hear the other angels sing.
Bowing slightly like I always do, I motion down the hallway to my office. Thana smirks and moves past me; her fingertips lightly touch the fabric of my jacket and I feel energized. Casually she glances at her fingertips then mutters something about static. There’s zero hesitation as she heads directly to my office. Thana lets herself in and she goes right to her favorite chair and sits down pulling her legs up into the chair with her. She fiddles with her stethoscope in her lap trying to distract herself. Without a second thought I pour us both fresh cups of coffee and offer her one before sitting in the chair next to her. “Are you okay Thana? Reaping two souls so close together must be exhausting.” My voice takes on more of a honey quality to it than I intended. It clearly affects Thana, a slight rosiness flushes her cheeks and her pulse increases.
She clears her throat then takes a large gulp of her coffee. “I’m a horrible person, Raphael, the way I ripped that man’s soul out was monstrous.” Her voice quivers as the tears she was trying to hold in roll freely down her cheeks. I take off my suit jacket and place it over her shoulders before I hug her to me. Direct skin contact would alert her to what I already know as truth, that she’s my mate. That is if her mother had ever educated her to that little fact that the tingle or static shock is our bodies trying to form the bond.
“Dark souls are always the most resistant to leaving their vessels. You did everything perfectly, though I do have a question for you.” Leaning back, I tilt my head to the side and smile, waiting for her to look at me. Once she raises her gaze and her eyes meet mine, I ask, “What could he have seen that struck such terror into him. You’re a beautiful woman. I can’t imagine seeing you up close would ever be frightening.”
Signing softly, Thana looks down briefly then back up at me. Her normally beautiful gun-metal gray eyes are black as pitch, and blood is running down her face from her eyes and nose. A giant crack appears in her forehead and blood starts to gush out. Terror fills my heart, and a cold sweat breaks out over my body. As fast as it happens it’s over and Thana is back to normal. “People see what the
y’re most afraid of when I take a dark soul. Their fear becomes a reality.” She glances down for a moment then looks back up again, this time her eyes are pure silver orbs and she’s radiant. “A light soul sees me as a merciful angel full of beauty and light. Because of my duality—it’s my blessing and my curse.” Thana blinks several times, and her eyes are back to normal.
She looks down at her now clasped hands. “I never wanted you or others to ever see me like you did tonight.” Slowly, Thana looks back up, and her eyes are tear filled. “What if my potential mate or mates in the future reject me because of it?”
I offer her the tissues on my desk without hesitation before sitting back. It’s almost impossible to not scream that I’m hers and that I would never reject her. That I’ve been attracted to her for years, but I couldn’t act on it before now. Damn vow of chastity. I want to kiss her so hard she forgets the pain and the fear she’s experiencing.
While she’s still wrapped up in my jacket I lean over the arm of the chair and hug her tightly. “Whoever your mate or mates are, is lucky. If they are too blind to see your worth and the beauty of your heart, then they don’t deserve you.” I kiss the crown of her head trying to reassure her.
Thana relaxes in my arms and eventually pulls away. “I hope whoever my mate is, they are as wonderful as you are Raphael.” She forces a brilliant smile before standing and offering me my jacket back. “Thank you for always being there for me. Creator willing … I hope you find your mate this time.” She smiles broadly, kisses me on the crown of my head, and leaves the room.
If only she knew—for once I don’t dread the trials like the centuries before. My angel, my eternal love just walked out the door with the other half of my heart. I lift my jacket to my nose. The lingering scent of her floral perfume clings to the fabric. It’s the only solace I shall have for the next six days.
Discovered: The Dark Angel Chronicles Page 2