by Elaina John
****
“You okay, baby girl?”
Denise looked up from her plate of spaghetti. “Yeah, just thinking about this case I’m working on. A drug ring. Been trying to nail the perps for a while now.”
Her father nodded, with wide green eyes that said he knew the truth. “I hope you get them.”
“Me too, dad.”
Denise had been staying with her father for the past week and a half. She tried going about life like normal, as if it didn’t hurt just to breathe. The pain of R.J.’s betrayal had yet to lessen. She suspected it would take time. Time that she hoped would speed by quickly.
Against everything, she still loved him so much it hurt. He left her voicemails every day. A different bouquet of roses waited for her on her desk each morning with a handwritten card begging her to call him or have dinner with him.
Her wounds were too fresh to be in his presence. The day he came to the house after she left him, she nearly broke down in the hallway. He looked awful, like he’d woken up from a bender. Grief and regret radiated off him. She had to get away from him as soon as possible or else she felt he would have roped her back in.
“Are you not hungry?”
Denise looked to where she pushed the pasta around on her plate. “Not particularly.”
Lines formed on her dad’s forehead. “You always loved my spaghetti.”
“I still love it. I just had a big lunch.” Which consisted of a muffin and iced coffee.
He sat back in his chair, his hands resting on his belly, which had rounded with age. His own plate was empty. He had no issues with his appetite.
She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Her dad always saw more than she wanted him to. It was only one of the reasons why she loved him.
“You know, Denise, I don’t know if I ever told you that you remind me of your mom.”
Her dad didn’t speak about her mother often. When he did, she soaked up his words like water to a sponge.
“Sometimes when I look at you, I see her. You’re just as beautiful as she was. And you love just like her. She loved hard. You give it all, baby girl. You hold nothing back.” He blew out a sigh. “It hurts me to see my little girl hurting. I’m probably going to regret saying this, but why don’t you go home. You gave R.J. your love for a reason. I know that boy loves you too. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe he truly is a good for nothing scoundrel. You will never know if you can work it out if you don’t try.”
She willed the tears welling in her eyes to stay at bay. She cried enough. It was a wonder she had any tears left. “I can’t do that, dad. Because as you say, I love hard, I also suffer the consequences of it. I’m tired of it.” She shut her eyes. “I’m so tired.”
“I know, sweetheart. You have to understand that life and love are not always going to be full of sunshine. You have to take the rain that comes along as well. You can’t run away and hide at the rumble of thunder.”
Her eyes opened. “I don’t run and hide.”
He snorted. “What do you think ignoring R.J. and moping around here is?”
As Denise prepared herself for bed later that night, she thought on all her father had said. She didn’t think she was running and hiding. She was hurt and angry. She didn’t want anything to do with R.J. right now, which was why she’d dropped Barkley back off a week ago while R.J. was at work.
She stretched out on the full-sized bed her father never got rid of. As a matter of fact, the entire room was the same. Painted green and blue to match the ocean with a white desk she carved designs into, it no longer felt like hers. She wasn’t a child any longer. She was an adult. One who ran to her father to solve her problems. Some grown woman she turned out to be.
Denise closed her eyes and slipped into slumber. She didn’t know how much time had passed before she was awakened by a scratching, groaning sound. She rubbed her eyes and sat up.
She heard the sound again. She looked to the window and watched hands slowly push it open. The next thing she knew, R.J. was climbing through her window.
He tumbled to the floor in a clumsy heap. Denise’s heart beat wildly in her chest. She watched him get to his feet. When he bumped into a bookcase, she turned on the floor lamp.
He dusted himself off then smiled awkwardly at her. “Oh, hey. You’re up.”
“R.J.,” she hissed, keeping her voice low as not to wake her father. “What are you doing here?”
“You wouldn’t return my calls, Denise. I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks. I needed to see you.”
Denise exhaled and went over and closed the door. The last thing she needed was for her father to come rushing in and pummeling R.J. “If I wanted to have contact with you, Robert, I would have made it happen.”
“Stop calling me that,” he snapped.
“Robert is your name, isn’t it? Or are you lying about that too?”
He roughly tugged on his short brown hair, making tuffs stand on end. “You know what my name is. And I haven’t lied to you. Not once.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “What do call saying you’re working late when you’re really out with other women?”
“I was working late. That woman you saw me with was my client.”
“Clients don’t kiss, R.J.”
He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “I made a mess of things.” He opened his eyes. “Let me tell you exactly what happened. I’ll start from the beginning.”
“I don’t want to hear it.” No doubt he’d been working on his excuse for days. He probably taught himself how to cry on cue too.
“Please, Denise. Please. Sit down. Just listen to me. I’ll talk then I’ll leave. You won’t ever have to see me again. I’ll move out of the house. You can have it. Just hear me out.”
If it wasn’t for the agony reflected in his blue eyes, she would have sent him packing. Instead, she sat on the bed, using her career training to keep her emotions from her face.
“You have five minutes.”
“Thank you, Denise. Thank you.”
He kneeled before her, taking her hands within his and tightening his grip when she tried to pull away.
“I understand why you’re upset and I would be too if I was in your shoes. But things are not as they appear.” He took a deep breath. “A few weeks ago I had a meeting with a client. I didn’t read over the case files, so I didn’t know who the client was. It turned out to be a woman named May Navarro. We dated during college, so about four years.”
The air expelled from Denise’s lungs. R.J. might as well have punched her in the gut. He cheated on her with an old flame. How could she compete with a woman he dated longer than he even knew Denise?
“Her father passed away. She came to me because she was contesting his will. Since she was someone I cared for, I put in extra hours on her case. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same if you were in my position. I didn’t tell you about her because I didn’t want you to get jealous. I feel nothing for her.”
“She’s beautiful.”
R.J. squeezed her hands. “Yes. And so are you. More beautiful than she is in my eyes. The night you saw us at the restaurant, I was meeting her to discuss the case, nothing else. I allowed her to convince me to stay and have dinner. I made a bad decision. After dinner, she kissed me. She kissed me. I pushed her away and told her I couldn’t be her attorney anymore. I haven’t seen her since. I promise that’s the truth.”
“That was her lipstick I found on your shirt?” The memory made Denise’s blood boil.
His eyes slammed shut again before focusing on her. “Yes. I should have been upfront with you then, but I wasn’t. It came back to bite me on the ass. I swear to you on my life that I did not cheat with May or any other woman. I have no need. You’re everything I desire in a woman and more, Denise.”
When she didn’t respond, R.J. released her hands and slowly stood up. “That’s all I wanted to say. Thank you for listening. I’ll pack up my things and be out of the house in a couple d
ays.”
He walked resignedly to the window and threw one leg over the windowsill. “I love you.”
She swallowed everything she felt, everything she wanted to scream. “You can use the door.”
“It’s all right. Sleep well.”
Denise watched him climb out the window and leap to the tree beside the house. If possible, her heart seemed to hurt worse. The emotions she held back while he spoke rushed forward in a torrent of tears.
She jogged down the stairs and threw open the front door. R.J. was walking across the lawn.
“R.J!” she called. He looked at her, his ocean blue eyes wide. “Don’t go.”
Denise ran out of the house in her bare feet. She jumped into R.J.’s unsuspecting arms. He caught her with only a slight stumble.
He searched her tear stained face. “Denise?”
“I believe you.” A part of her always believed him, but she was too stubborn to listen to that portion. “I love you too. Don’t move out.”
“You’re serious?”
She kissed him so thoroughly that he had no room for suspicion. “I should have never doubted you. Please, forgive me.”
Denise allowed her insecurity and fear of losing R.J. to cloud her judgment. The evidence against him was great, but she should have heard him out, waited to condemn him as guilty or innocent. She permitted what happened in her past to taint her present. Because of that, she almost lost the best thing that ever happened to her.
Denise loved R.J. with every ounce of her being. He wasn’t perfect and neither was she. People made mistakes. Relationships had ups and downs. One thing she was certain of was that she didn’t want to go through life without R.J.
He put her down on the ground. “There’s nothing to forgive. I messed up. I should have told you about May from the beginning. But Denise you have to understand that I’m not other men. If I wanted to be with other women, I wouldn’t be with you. I would have stayed single.”
It made perfect sense now, but when jealousy fogged her vision, she couldn’t see it. “I get it if you don’t want to marry me.”
“You have given me the best year of my life.” With his thumb, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m looking forward to many more. As your husband.”
She was grateful that she was too distraught to cancel anything related to the wedding.
He looked at her expectantly. “Now will you come home and help me deal with my parents? They’re driving me crazy. I sent them to a hotel after the first night.”
Denise laughed, cried, and snorted all at the same time. She was a mess. “I can’t. My father will have a cow if he wakes up and I’m not there. He’ll think you kidnapped me.”
“It’s not kidnapping if you willingly go.”
“Yeah, but he won’t know that.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I missed you so much. I guess it won’t kill me to go another night without you.”
“You don’t have to.” She grasped his hand. “You can stay here tonight.”
“Your father?” R.J. appeared skeptical, with good reason.
“I’m an adult. It’s time I acted like it.” Even if she was inviting him into her father’s house.
R.J. grinned, one side of his mouth hitching higher than the other. It made her heart skip a beat. “Let me get Barkley out of the car.”
Her brow arched. “You brought him?”
“Of course. He missed you too.”
The weight of the world seemed to lift off Denise’s shoulders. She walked back into the house with her man and her dog. How could things get more perfect?