Gemma stood behind me, fixing any strands of hair that stuck out. She had helped with the up-do for my hair, and now my long locks remained pinned against my skull. She assured me the hairstyle brought out the most in my facial features, and I did not argue otherwise. After tonight anything could happen for better or for worse. Gemma clapped her hands together and tugged on my arm. I turned around and together we left the room.
I thought about the previous times I walked through these hallways. This time seemed different, though I did not believe it to be my last time. I had every intention of returning to Ninomay. Regardless of Mother’s opinion, she could not stop me from returning to my homeland.
Gemma offered her arm to me, and I wrapped my arm around it and giggled with her. No one else appeared in the hallway, and I assumed the majority remained outside waiting. Tonight might be meant as a celebration, but it was more like a homecoming for me. A homecoming and a departure at the same time. The bittersweet feeling sunk in slowly.
“Dorian promised to save a seat for us. I imagine Claire and Declan will join us as well,” Gemma said. A smile lit up on her face unlike anything I saw before. She continued on, commenting on how her son would also be at the celebration.
We descended the staircase, and I watched the stairs carefully. With the length of this dress I could easily trip over myself. I held onto the railing while Gemma kept her hold of my arm. We moved slowly, but I eagerly anticipated what awaited us outside. With my sister being in charge of the decorations I had no clue as to what to expect. We reached the end of the stairs, and Gemma and I quickened our pace. She held out her free hand and opened the door, allowing me to step out before her.
A quick beat melody played, and couples danced in the open yard. There was a large area left open in front of the tables for dancing. As I approached closer people stood and bowed their heads to me. Others greeted me and I returned the greeting, though I looked ahead for my friends.
Dorian, who sat at one of the front tables, stood up and waved at me. A little boy sat beside him, sharing countless features of his mother. Gemma rushed past me and embraced Dorian, then kissing the child on the forehead. I smiled and advanced to the table. He gestured to the empty seats, and I took the one facing the dancing area.
“Clara!” Claire shouted, running to me and hugging me tightly. “Join me; I must announce you.”
She held out her hand and hesitantly I accepted. The couples on the ‘dance floor’ returned to their seat, and Claire and I faced the crowed. I hoped she did not expect me to give a speech. My palms already sweated being in front of a crowd of people. Numerous of them I did not recognize, though I assumed them to be locals. This was the kind of event Jhase wanted them to focus on.
Scanning the faces, I did not see Jhase amongst them. I frowned at the fear that he might be too ill to be here for the celebration. It had been his idea, and it only seemed right for my father to announce me as his legitimate child. Glancing at Claire, my eyes watered at the memories of our previous argument. It seemed cruel to leave her while Jhase battled his illness.
“Everyone!” Claire shouted. The murmurs at the tables ceased, and all eyes focused on her and me. “Tonight Jhase remains too ill to celebrate with us. He sends his apologies, but more importantly he sends me here tonight with a special announcement.”
She stepped forward. “As I and many of you were told, my sister and mother were believed to be dead. Circe has truly granted us a miracle. Tonight my sister stands, reunited with me, in the flesh. Jhase would like to recognize her as his legitimate child, and she is to be welcomed in Ninomay as family. Tonight we celebrate Clara, who has already proven so much to her family and our island.”
The crowd clapped and cheered; everyone smiled at me. Claire gestured for me to move closer, and I slowly took several steps until I stood beside her. I waved and smiled at the unfamiliar faces. Glancing at Alec’s table, I noticed Declan and Ezra. As the clapping died down, I returned to my seat. Claire followed soon after me, and she motioned for the music to start again. A slow song played, and Ezra, who sat next to me, offered his hand. I looked up into his eyes, raising a brow.
“No one has ever denied me a dance… or lived to tell the tale,” he whispered. I laughed and accepted his hand.
He guided me and other partners followed after us. The open area filled up quickly. Ezra spun me in a circle and then pulled me in closer. He wrapped his arms around me, and I placed my hands around his neck. We swayed like trees in the wind, and I glimpsed at the others dancing. Rarely had I ever danced in my lifetime, but time seemed to move slower with the music playing. The melody kept us in the same area, but it also kept us intertwined with our partners. I looked up into Ezra’s eyes, and he grinned widely.
“Enjoying yourself?” I asked, giggling. He leaned in and kissed me, but I quickly pushed him away and ran the opposite direction. The others continued dancing as if they had not noticed, but people commented as I ran past them. I avoided staying close to the tables, and I distanced myself from them. I could hear Ezra’s footsteps behind me, though I did not turn around until I was out of earshot of prying guests.
“Clara, I’m sorry,” Ezra said, approaching me slowly.
I watched him without saying a word. In the distance I caught a glimpse of several people standing up to see what the fuss was about, but no one approached us. I refocused on Ezra and tried to imagine it was only he and I here in this moment. The music still played the beat of the song —our song. Words ceased to aid me, and I did not have an explanation for my actions. Ezra apologized to me as if he had done something wrong when we both knew that was only a means of further denying the truth.
Stepping closer, I stared at his feet. The skirt of my dress swayed over his shoes. “I have made a fool of myself… and you. I am sorry.”
“You forget I have met the men who wronged you. Perhaps I did not meet them as you did, but I observed their behaviors.” His hand brushed against mine, and he lowered his voice. “I would never harm you like Isaak and Ren did. To me you are a rarity of beauty and intelligence. Can’t you see I would choose you time and time again?”
I blushed and bit my lip. I was at a crossroads with one road leading to returning to the party and the other pushing me closer to Ezra. At the mentioning of Ren, though, I could hardly feel inclined to do anything. Even the worst of people did not deserve death. Ezra offered to pull me out from the waves, but I was not ready yet.
Sighing, I said, “I hate feeling alone, and pushing aside my feelings. You’ve only ever proved to keep your word with me.”
“Let me be a part of your world, Clara. I love you,” he whispered, leaning in closer and embracing me. I held onto him, embracing his strong frame.
The party continued on in the background, and I assumed by now everyone realized we settled our dispute. Rarely did I ever hold onto a man, and I prayed this would not be a decision made in haste. Ezra recognized me for my differences as soon as I stepped into Claire’s shoes. He seemed to have me figured out better than anyone; perhaps even me.
Without another word, I grabbed his hand and we rejoined the party. He did not pressure me to say “I love you” back, and I accepted with time I would feel more comfortable.
A new song began, and several of the couples returned to their seats. Ezra and I joined our friends at their table, acting as though nothing changed between us. I supposed this meant Ezra and I were ‘official’ now, though I did not want to put a label on what we meant to each other. He intertwined his hands with mine under the table while we listened to the others. Claire seemed distant from the conversation, and her eyes gazed over everything around us.
Releasing Ezra’s hand, I stood up and walked over to where Claire sat. I knelt down beside her. The others remained distracted with food as it was served.
“You seem… distracted,” I whispered.
She looked down at me. “You were right about earlier. I should be the one traveling to Rajoor with you. Alas, Father’s
health keeps me tied here.”
“Claire, I never —”
Shaking her head, she reached for my hand and placed something tiny on my palm. Glancing down, I noticed it was the blue gem ring from her jewelry stash.
“If it’s not too much to ask, I need you to take that with you. Find out why she left it years ago and what happened between her and I. I was wrong to have doubted your intentions,” she explained. I smiled and hugged her quickly before returning to my seat. Everything that needed to be done seemed settled here, though one person remained missing tonight.
As I sat down once again I thought about Jhase. I could not leave without any goodbye or well wishes. His health had not improved, and I needed to see him before leaving. Tonight might be my last chance, since in the morning they would sentence Alesia to death. I would go at any lengths to avoid being present for her death.
***
The party ended, and Ezra and I parted ways. Nothing was exchanged between us except for me reminding him we would leave at first daylight. He promised to relay the message to Lukas as well.
We separated, and Claire and Declan joined me as I entered the mansion. Claire was quick to praise Ezra’s character, and I suspected she knew our relationship no longer hid in the shadows. I wanted to shout it to the world that I had chosen to be with him. At the same time I felt like a shard of glass, easily breakable with one wrong step. This new bond we shared would require time and patience.
“Jhase and Claire will work hard to solve whatever mysteries remain here. I’ll send word if we hear more about Ren,” Declan said. He glanced over at Claire, who walked on the opposite side of me.
“Expect me back in no more than three days. If a week goes by I will send word,” I replied. Though I doubted I would spend a week in Rajoor, I had no idea what to expect. Mother seemed so distant lately, and I did not wish to altogether end my relationship with her. Her other daughter would be getting married this month. Did she not want to be a part of that? She left behind her other daughter and husband, and all for what? I had to find out why running away to Rajoor had been the best answer for her.
Though we continued upstairs as a group, I parted ways with them at the top. I walked down the hallway to Jhase’s room while they carried out their own activities. As much as I needed to confront Mother, I hated leaving Claire behind. The thought of her being responsible while Jhase remained ill was troublesome. However, I would not be of any help to anyone if I remained tied to my past. Claire and I deserved answers, and I would gladly take on that responsibility.
Reaching Jhase’s room, I noticed the door already appeared to be opened. I stepped inside and greeted his healer. He said very little to me, seemingly preoccupied with organizing ingredients. He worked quietly in the back of the room while I approached Jhase.
“How do you feel?” I asked, though I frowned at his wrinkled and pale face. He looked paler than usual, and he coughed momentarily before answering.
“It could be worse,” he replied. Leaving for Rajoor was not a life or death choice. I could chose to not leave, but I doubted I could ever move forward with my life. If I wanted new relationships and a chance at a different lifestyle, I could not forget my past. Mother was the key to everything, and I would not let her down easy.
Wincing, I asked, “Will you be alright if I leave for Rajoor tomorrow? I have to find out for Claire and myself why Mother lied to us our whole lives. I need her side of the story. And I’m hoping to find out more about Ren’s death. Something from Rajoor allowed him to connect with the white roses here.”
“Go, daughter. You may not like the truth, but remember your mother raised you. She raised you well enough to know that your home is with your family. Show her the kindness she did not show us,” he said.
After all these years and the pain Mother caused him, Jhase still treated her with respect. It was a choice not even I knew how to make. The truth burdened me with every passing day, but he urged me to not hold it against my mother. He urged me to treat her right despite the times she failed us.
“Father…” I whispered. The word escaped my lips, but I would not take it back now. My mind still tried to process him as Jhase, but in my heart I knew he was the only father I would ever have. He was the only one who ever proved himself on countless occasions. Why had I waited so long to give him the title he so rightfully deserved? He raised Claire to be a leader. He even managed to raise me during our short time together to be a better person. This man lived during dangerous times when magic nearly destroyed mages. Who was I to take it for granted, despite every horrid experience in his life, he chose to be the man everyone needed? A leader, a guardian, a counselor… my father.
Kneeling down, I squeezed his hand gently. I whispered, “Please be here when I return. You’re the only father I’ve ever known.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
In Your Blood
The night proved restless as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I had done everything I needed to do in preparation for our journey. My father knew he earned my trust, and everyone in town recognized me as a part of the family. I stared at the ceiling without knowing what caused me such distress. Was Claire right about my mother? Perhaps she truly was more of a monster than I ever led myself to believe. It seemed like a trivial matter to stay awake and ponder, but my mind did not let it rest.
A tap at my door broke through my thoughts. I jumped up and stared at the door with wide eyes. It was too late for anyone to be visiting me or saying farewells. I bit on my lip, fearing something had happened to Father in a matter of hours. Before I could move out from under the blankets the door opened. A small figure stepped into the room, but it remained too dark to see anything.
“Hello? Who is it?” I asked, though my voice shook.
“It’s me… Claire.” As she approached the bed she lit the candle on the nightstand with a match. The room lit up enough for me to see her, and she slid under the covers with me. Beads of sweat covered her face, and I sat up in alarm that someone sought to harm us again.
Quietly I asked, “What’s wrong? Did someone threaten you? Should we call for a Watcher?”
She shook her head, and pulled the blankets closer to her chest. “No, nothing has happened. I… I had a nightmare. Elias and Alesia still plague my mind. The things they did to me…”
Slowly I laid my head on my pillow and faced her. “You can tell me anything. I know they tortured you.”
She shook her head. “I had to survive out there, Clara. I knew I was stronger than them, but they tested everything I believed in. They used magic in the morning, and at night they pierced my skin with thorns.”
I pushed the damp hair away from her face. I nodded and listened carefully, trying not to force anything out of her. Elias had been smart enough to not use magic at night and be caught by a Watcher. Though he was dead, his effects on this family would not die easily. They might always haunt us, and Alesia’s death would not offer any healing.
“I never saw their faces until they captured you. They always wore masks and disguised their voices. Sometimes they pretended to be someone I loved… Declan, Jhase, Gemma… and every time I wanted to believe it. But no one came to save me. It was just me and them…always.”
Holding her hands together with mine, I said, “The worst has ended. No one can harm our family again. I’ll be back in a matter of days, and we can plan your wedding. The best days of your life await you.”
“I pray you are right, sister. Elias is dead and Alesia is soon to follow… but I fear for Lukas’s future. He had to kill his father, and death is not something to be taken lightly. I’m sending Lukas with you in hopes that time away from here will mend his scars. May he never turn into the beast his father became. You must promise me you will watch out for him. He will not admit it, but he needs you.”
I frowned. “Are you sure I am the right person? From what I hear Lukas treats me like any other woman.”
“No,” she said firmly. “You are different f
rom those women. You are a Kanelos, and it is in your blood to save lives.” Her words struck my heart, but I did not feel prepared for such a responsibility. Lukas agreed on his own to join me in Rajoor. I had not the slightest clue on how to protect him from himself. Claire’s confidence in me blew me away, and I could not fail her now. If she entrusted me to watch over Lukas perhaps the task was not as hard as it seemed. Besides I would not be alone with only Lukas; Ezra might be able to help too.
At last I said, “I promise.”
She turned her entire body so that she faced the ceiling and released my hand. “Mind if I sleep with you tonight?”
“Of course not,” I replied. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling again. Claire blew out the candle, and the darkness returned to cover everything. I closed my eyes and instead of thinking of Mother, I thought about Lukas. I focused on the new responsibility that fell into my lap. More people were affected by the kidnapping than Claire and I. It was time I set aside the worries I had for my own wellbeing. I was a Kanelos; the strength to carry on was in my blood.
***
I woke up at first light and changed into a black dress. Claire remained asleep, and I decided to leave without waiting for her to wake. A second goodbye seemed unnecessary when I planned on returning so soon. Instead I left the room quietly.
Stepping out into the hallway, I felt nauseous. As soon as I met up with Lukas and Ezra we would be leaving Ninomay. My confidence from last night faded with each step I took. I knew each step meant I was further away from where I wanted to be. For the first time in years I was horrified of facing my mother. Even so, I kept those fears in my head and forced my feet to continue moving. I reached the staircase and spotted Ezra, who seemed to be waiting for my arrival. Lukas had promised to meet us outside of the mansion, and I did not blame him for not wanting to come inside. If we spent too long too many people would slow us down.
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