“Be careful,” she warned, “it’s spiked.”
“A woman after my own heart,” I chuckled, taking a sip. “Oh, yeah,” I moaned, loving the rich taste of spicy rum mixed into the sweet tea.
“I thought we deserved it,” she said, sipping her tea. “You more than any of us, though.”
“It’s almost surreal,” I admitted, leaning back in the chair. “New faces in the front are now bringing in new customers. Am I that ugly?” I asked, laughing at her face when she registered what I asked.
She gave me the har-har face. “No, you aren’t ugly, but you’re also not twenty-one. If you notice, the age of the new crowd is in that ballpark. Their friends are coming in to see them and staying for the cake. The new girls are professional, courteous, and helpful to all the customers, so I don’t have a problem with it.”
“Other than having to increase your cupcake tally every day.”
“Which is okay because now I have time to do it,” she said, tapping her glass on her leg. “Are you going to work the booth at the Strawberry Festival next week?”
I swallowed a large gulp of the iced tea and stared over her shoulder. If I met her eyes, I’d cry, and if I cried, I might never stop. “I don’t think so, Hay-Hay,” I said, keeping my voice steady. “I didn’t get good news at the doctor today. I don’t think I can handle all the sitting, standing, loading, and unloading that the event requires. I want to,” I said, my voice cracking, “but I can’t. Not this year.”
Haylee set her iced tea down and knelt in front of me, taking my hand. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry for even asking. Please, don’t stress about it, okay? I’ll have the girls do it. They need the experience, and I know they will love to work the booth since the bakery won’t be open.”
I nodded and swallowed back the tears in my voice. “I’ll make sure all the marketing information is ready, and I’ll go over all of it with them. I’ll be on-call for any questions, issues, or help they need. The uneven ground out there just makes it hard and a little dangerous right now for me, you know?”
She nodded and grasped my hands tightly. “I know. What happened at the doctor, Amber? What did he tell you?”
I stared down at our hands resting on my lap rather than her empathetic face. “Exactly what I already suspected,” I answered, my voice firm, which surprised me. “The nerves used to bend my knee and ankle, as well as give me any sensation in the leg, are denervated, which is a fancy word for no nerve supply or—”
“Paralyzed,” she whispered.
I nodded, a tear dripping onto my lap. “Dammit,” I whispered, angrily swiping at my face with my shoulder. “I said I wasn’t going to cry. It’s not like I didn’t already know.”
She wiped away a tear from my face. “Suspecting and getting confirmation are two different things, Amber. You get to cry. That’s allowed in my house.”
I chuckled and shook my head a little bit. “That’s what Bishop said, too, but I don’t want to be that person.”
She rubbed my shoulder tenderly and paused for a beat. “What treatment options did the doctor give you?”
My shoulder went up under her hand. “There aren’t many. The expensive brace would allow me to walk again, but that is the only thing that will. The brace I’m wearing now is just to keep the leg from flopping around. It’s not helping me walk anymore. If I don’t get the new brace, I’ll end up in a wheelchair.”
“But you’re going to get the new brace, right?”
“We have a meeting with them in a couple of weeks. The doctor wants the arthritis in the knee to heal more before we do it. He says they need to measure everything when it’s normal, which makes sense,” I said on a laugh. “As if anything is normal. Nothing will be normal again.”
Haylee pulled me over onto her shoulder to hug me. “Maybe not the normal you were used to, but there will be normal again. Will it look different from the last seventeen years? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it will be worse. You have so many people who love you and just want to see you happy again. Brady and I will do anything at the bakery so you can keep working with us. We miss you when you aren’t there, and we want you back. Bishop will move mountains to make sure you’re happy again. He loves you and doesn’t want to see you in pain.”
I nodded, tears falling faster now that I was in my best friend’s arms. I never had to be strong with her. She always let me fall apart so I could put myself back together again. “Thanks for always letting me cry on your shoulder,” I said over my tears.
“Bishop would let you cry on his shoulder, too, babe,” she whispered. “He’s not going to leave you just because you show a moment of weakness.”
“She’s right,” his deep voice said from behind us. I stiffened immediately, but there was no way to hide the tears. “Love is filled with little moments of weakness that are made strong again by the bond we share.”
His strong arms captured me, and he sat, holding me on his lap and letting me tuck my nose into his neck. “It honestly didn’t hit me how bad my leg had gotten until she asked me about the Strawberry Festival,” I said, my voice tiny. “Last year, I could do it all, and this year, I can’t do any of it.”
“That’s not true,” Hay-Hay said from where she sat by Brady. “I know you’ll have everything ready for those girls down to the most minute detail. What you have to learn to do is work smarter, not harder. You’re the business manager, not the grunt work. Turn your mindset around to that, and you’ll be a lot happier.”
“That’s our mindset,” Brady said. “We utilize everyone’s talents now where they are most effective. We don’t need you sitting behind a table taking money for cupcakes. We need you sitting behind the desk planning the marketing campaigns, doing the interviews, organizing the sales, managing the employees, and doing the books. I think that’s enough, don’t you? I know how hard Haylee works, but she doesn’t wear that many hats every day.”
I wiped my eyes and nodded. “It’s just...I guess I feel sad because I always look forward to Strawberry Fest. Maybe not all the work involved with it, but the atmosphere. I feel like it’s just another thing this shitshow has stolen from me.”
Bishop kissed my temple and wiped another tear from my face. “We can go and enjoy the atmosphere without you killing yourself with all the work. I bet I even know someone who would love to experience Strawberry Fest for the first time.”
“You?” I asked chuckling. “I didn’t even think about this being your first year.”
“It’s true. I’m a Strawberry Fest virgin, but I was thinking of someone else.” He held up his phone, and I read a text on the screen.
I sat up instantly. “What? Athena is coming to visit?”
He nodded with a huge grin on his face. “She called me when we were in the garage. She’s flying home for a visit tomorrow!”
I threw my arms around him and squeezed him tight. “I’m so happy for you. I know you’ve missed her.”
He nodded his head over my shoulder before he leaned back. “I have, and I can’t wait for you to meet her. Will you stay here with Haylee and Brady tonight? I have to drive to St. Paul to pick her up early tomorrow morning from the airport. You’ve been through so much today. I’m not going to make you get up at the crack of dawn to go with me.”
I grasped his face in my hands. “Let’s go now. Let’s go. Let’s just go. We’ll get a room and be there in the morning when her flight arrives.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Haylee said, standing up. “A little getaway will do you a world of good right now. We’ll man the bakery, and when you get back tomorrow, spend the day with Athena. We’ll see you on Wednesday.”
Bishop kissed my cheek before he handed me my crutches. “Let’s do it. We’ll take a little time out from life to just be with each other.”
I stood and hugged Haylee, whispering thank you in her ear. She squeezed me tighter, and I knew, no matter what, I was going to be okay.
“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE okay with this?” I asked Ambe
r when she sat back down on the bed.
She leaned back on the pillow and smiled. “Bishop, I already told you thirty times that I am. I want to meet Athena. I’m thrilled she’s coming home for a visit.”
“I know, but you’re so busy with the bakery that I hate to ask you to take more time away.” I strolled over and set a bottle of water on the nightstand for her. I had helped her to the bathroom after she woke up from a long sleep, and now I hoped to snuggle up with her and sleep until morning.
“You heard what Haylee said. It will be fine, and when I head in to help them, you can catch up with Athena.”
I was surprised to get the phone call from Athena saying she was flying in to see me tomorrow. I suspected she was homesick, but whatever the case, she assured me she was okay, healthy, and just wanted to see me for a few days before she went to Illinois. She knew I got married, so I was sure that was part of it, too. She had to check out dad’s new wife to decide if she approved.
“I’m having a security system installed tomorrow while we’re gone,” I said to change the subject.
“Why? It’s Lake Pendle. I can’t remember the last time there was a burglary there.”
“The system I bought has weather monitoring and will alert us immediately of any storm warnings or watches. Also, if you fall when you’re alone, you can use voice commands to get help. I planned to install a system before fall, so I just moved it up on the timeline a little bit. A security system is smart, and the one I bought will give me peace of mind when you’re there alone.”
She tipped her head to the side, her hand coming up to stroke my beard. “You found a system that warns of bad weather and acts like Life Alert?”
I turned my head and kissed her palm tenderly. “Peace of mind for you when we’re home. You’ll never be taken by surprise if we’re sleeping, either. It’s like a weather radio on steroids.”
She laughed, and the sound was sleepy and relaxed. “I guess you plan on keeping me around for a while.”
“I was thinking forever,” I whispered, kissing her lips. “And ever, and ever. I want to be known as the most ridiculously cute married couple in Lake Pendle.”
That got a smile out of her, and she kissed my lips, her breath minty fresh. “I don’t know, Haylee and Brady might try to take that title.”
“Well, they can try,” I whispered into her neck, “but they won’t win.”
“What time is it?” she asked, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s only three a.m.? I must have slept like a rock.”
“You had been asleep since eight o’clock last night. I did some work and then crawled in bed around eleven. You never stirred.”
“Yesterday was stressful. I guess I needed the sleep.”
It had been stressful and emotional for her, and I was glad she got to see Haylee for a few minutes. They have a bond that she and I will never have, and I accepted that for what it was. Sometimes you just need to cry on your sister’s shoulder.
I brushed a piece of hair off her forehead. “I love you,” I whispered, my hand sweeping into her hair to grasp the back of her neck. “We’ll get through this together.”
She smiled that smile that told me she believed something I said was true. “I love you, too. I keep telling myself we’ll get through this stronger than before. I concluded that letting someone help me, look after me once in a while, isn’t going to sink my boat of independence.”
I leaned in nose-to-nose and kissed her lips. “It won’t, you’re right. It might even repair some of the holes, and over time you’ll be able to float longer without help.”
“I think you might be right, teacher. It’s just hard because our relationship is new, and I don’t want to scare you away. I’m usually not this big of a disaster.”
I smiled, my lips finding hers again to tangle with them longer. “Oh, it’s hard,” I agreed on a moan when I ended the kiss. “And you aren’t a disaster. We all struggle, tart. You never asked why I moved to a new job in the middle of the year, did you? You just assumed I chose to find a new job.”
She tipped her head at the thought and then nodded. “I guess I did, yeah. Come to think of it that is an odd time to change jobs.”
“I had been out of work since the summer before when my old school district didn’t renew my contract.”
“Why did they do that?” she asked curiously. “Budget cuts?”
I shook my head but refused to look away from her beautiful face. “No, the district was fine. It was me who needed help. I was sinking into depression, and it was starting to affect my work. I called in all the time, and when I was there, I was irritable or lethargic, I didn’t take direction well from my supervisors, and I argued about every little thing.”
“Seriously?” she asked, holding my hand. “I haven’t known you that long, but I know for sure that’s not you.”
I winked and kissed her knuckles, the sweet smell of her hand lotion tantalizing to my senses. “It’s not, that’s for sure. I’m usually the complete opposite of the person I was back then. Something was wrong. I knew it, and everyone around me knew it.”
“What did you do?”
“I sold my house and moved back to Illinois, where Athena and Sam live. It was Sam and Ken who helped me see what was happening.”
“Sam and Ken? That sounds awkward to me.”
“We’re friends, so it wasn’t. Ken dragged me to the gym every day and made me work out with him. Sam made me eat dinner with them every night and talk. After about two weeks of being there, I started to feel like my normal self again. I was laughing with Athena at the pool, jogging around the neighborhood while she rode her bike, and helping her plan the decorations for her dorm room. The feelings only came back when we talked about her going off to school.”
“Ahhh,” she said, nodding her head in understanding. “Empty nest syndrome.”
I made the so-so hand. “In a way. She didn’t live with me for long periods, so that wasn’t going to make much of a difference in my day-to-day life. It was more like empty life syndrome. Athena was my purpose. She was the reason I went to work every day for the last eighteen years. I had to take care of her and make sure I sent Sam money every month to do that. Suddenly, Sam and Ken didn’t need me anymore. Athena wasn’t going to need me anymore.” She held up her finger, and I grasped it. “I know I was wrong. I know they still need me, just in a different way. I had to spend the summer grappling with what I was going to do when my main focus wasn’t on making sure that little girl I loved so much grew into a decent human being. I’d done that. We’d done that. It does take a village to raise a child. It was Ken who sat me down and told me it was time to stop sacrificing my happiness because of guilt. I was too afraid to live because I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with Sam. It was a hammer to the head, but he was right. That’s exactly what I was doing. I was using guilt to keep people at bay for so long I didn’t know how to face the loneliness I was feeling about being less needed by the only family I had left.”
“But you aren’t any less needed, Bishop. She still needs her daddy. I think us being in a hotel by the airport is proof of that. That’s never going to change until the day you die.”
I smiled, her beautiful eager face filling my heart with so much joy. “I know that now. Last summer changed everything I believed about myself and my life. It set me on a new course of finding happiness for myself, personally and professionally. To be honest, I hadn’t been happy for at least a couple of years at my old job. The administration wasn’t great, and the physical education curriculum was stale. I needed a change. I worked for Domino’s delivering pizza while I looked for the right position. Sam was gracious enough to carry Athena on her insurance during that time, even though the court mandated that I do it.”
“But knowing you, you made sure you covered the extra in the premiums for her.”
I laughed and nodded, giving her the palms out. “I did, but it was only for a few months. I started teaching in Lake Pendle ri
ght after Christmas. I felt like I was back on firm footing again, which was a relief. I’m still glad it happened. It set me on a new path that I needed to find, but couldn’t when I was afraid to give up the stability I had.”
“I’m glad you found your way to Lake Pendle, Bishop Halla,” she whispered. “So very glad.”
“Your face smiling back at me is the reason I did. You’re the reason I went through all of that because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here tonight. When I say you’re mine, what I mean is, I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. It’s not to be possessive or creepy. It’s because I know what it’s like to be alone and scared. To feel like you don’t mean anything to the people you should mean the most to in this world. When you’re with me, you’re the most important person to me. No one takes precedence over your safety or happiness. Do you understand?”
She stroked my face, her hand warm on my cheek. “That’s not true, Bishop. There is one person who is more important than me. Athena is, and I would expect nothing less. If she calls and needs you, I’d help you pack to get to her, just like today. If she calls and needs money, I’ll go to the bank to transfer it. I am always going to be second place to her—”
My head was shaking before she finished. “No.”
“Yes,” she said softly, her smile gentle. “I wouldn’t accept it any other way, Bishop. If we’re going to make this marriage last, then we have to agree on that. I don’t care if she’s eighteen or thirty-eight. If she needs you, you will go to her, no matter what. Do you understand me?” she asked, emphasizing the words to make her point.
“Yes, Mrs. Halla,” I whispered, kissing her again, my tongue warring with hers to taste her strength and adamance for myself.
“Mmm,” she moaned against my lips. “Speaking of being a bride, I got your wedding gift. You should open it.”
Tart (The Fluffy Cupcake Book 2) Page 22