“We could have if you hadn’t told anyone that he was here!”
I scoffed, angry that she was blaming me for all of this. “Florrie, what part of this don’t you understand? He ran away from home. He was never ours. We were lucky enough to have him as long as we did. Sean could have taken him away from us that night, but he gave us that time. This was always coming.”
“No,” she shook her head wildly. “He’s always been ours. You’re just not willing to fight anymore. You’re just not willing to do what needs to be done.”
“And what’s that? You want to break the law? You want to go on the run?”
“At least he would still be with us!”
“And we’d be criminals!”
“Hey!”
Florrie and I both stopped arguing and turned to the door where Cap stood with Reid. None of us said anything as we waited for Reid’s reaction. I wasn’t sure how much he heard, but it had to be enough to make him think that this was all his fault.
“Hey, bud,” I finally said, stepping toward him. “Sorry about that. Florrie and I were just…we were trying to figure out what to do now.”
“Because of what happened in court,” he added.
“Yeah.”
“I thought maybe we could all sit down and talk about this,” Cap said, the accusation clear in his voice.
“Yeah, we should do that.” We all took a seat in the living room, but I had no fucking clue where to go from here. There was no manual for how to talk to a kid about this.
“Reid,” Florrie started, “The judge decided today that you need to get to know your aunt and uncle. Originally, you were supposed to fly out to spend time with them twice a month, but…” She ground her teeth together and took a deep breath. “But Alec worked it out with Cap that they can come stay here and that way you don’t have to fly back and forth.”
“So, I won’t have to go stay with them?”
“No,” she said with a smile, though I knew she wasn’t on board with the idea. “You’ll go spend time with them and get to know them here on the property.”
“And what happens after that?”
Florrie glanced at me and then back to Reid. “After three months, the judge will decide if you’ll stay with us or go live with them.”
I watched the kid’s reactions, and he didn’t look all that surprised. It was like he was expecting this all along. “Reid, we still want you with us,” I reassured him. “But this is your family and they want to get to know you too.”
He nodded, not saying anything.
“Well, I think the first time that you meet them,” Cap said, smiling to make this seem like a good thing, “should be here. Maybe you could show them around the facility and tell them a little about what you’ve been doing here.”
“Yeah, I could do that.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. I felt so fucking terrible, but deep down in my gut, I knew this was right. Whatever happened from here on out, I knew that giving him this opportunity with his family was what he needed. He’d had no one to stand up for him growing up, and if he found a family that still wanted him and loved him, and was willing to go the distance for him, he deserved to have that. No kid deserved to go through life thinking that none of his family wanted him. Now I just had to help Florrie see that.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Florrie
I waited until Cap took Reid out of our suite, telling him that Knight was waiting for him to train. I knew he was giving us some time to work this out before Reid came back, but the thing was, there was nothing to work out. Alec had betrayed me today, giving in to the courts and helping the Fullers. I wasn’t sure how to forgive that. He knew what Reid meant to me and he went behind my back and pretty much made that deal without consulting me.
“Florrie-”
“Don’t,” I snapped. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. There’s no good reason for you to do this to me.”
He sighed, running his hand across the scruff of his jaw. I used to love it when he did that, but right now I was filled with so much hate that I couldn’t even see that one thing as anything but irritating.
“I never told you how I grew up,” he said gruffly, not looking at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I uh…” He huffed out a laugh, scratching at his jaw again. “I was Reid.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t know what to say. How had I been with Alec for five years, worked with him for even longer and never knew this about him?
“What do you mean you were Reid?”
“My old man…he was a mean son of a bitch. I had more fists to the face from him by the age of five than probably my entire adult life. And when I was old enough to go to school, he started hitting me where no one could see. I had my arm broken twice and more cracked ribs than I could count.”
I didn’t know what to say. Alec had never said anything about his childhood or his parents. When I’d asked, he’d just told me that they were dead. And he never wanted to talk about it, so I never pushed it.
“When I was eight, my dad came home drunk off his ass. One of his coworkers had stopped off for a beer with him after work, and had to drag his ass home after he’d had too many. So, my dad walked in the door, propped on this guy’s shoulder, and he saw me sitting on the couch doing my homework. He lost it, not really for any reason other than I existed and he fucking hated me. He started beating the shit out of me, and I was already pretty bruised up from the night before. When this guy saw my dad attack me, he lost it. He tried to pull my old man off me, but Dad was a mean drunk and he started attacking his coworker.”
He paused, running his hand over his jaw again. He still hadn’t looked at me, and I had a feeling it was because he couldn’t. Alec was always the strong one that had it all put together. I’d never seen Alec even slightly emotional, aside from one time, and that was when he was with me, telling me that he loved me, but he had to let me go. I wanted to go to him and hold him or something, but that wasn’t who we were, and I was shit at being comforting to anyone.
“Anyway,” he said after a moment, “the guy walked out to his truck, grabbed a forty-five, walked back into the house and shot him six times. The cops came and the guy was arrested. He pled self-defense, but since he walked out to his truck and came back in, shooting the guy six times, the prosecution nailed him to the wall. I saw him once after that night, when I turned eighteen. I went to the prison to thank him for what he did. Do you know what he said to me?”
I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. “What did he say?”
“He told me to be better than him. He said that he didn’t regret what he did. He knew he saved my life that night, but he didn’t want me to do something like that and end up in jail. He told me to go out and live the life that he should have had.”
“What was his name?” I asked quietly.
“Tyler Wesley.”
My heart thundered in my chest. Alec’s last name was Wesley. What were the chances they had the same last name? “You took his name.”
“He was more a father to me than my old man had been in the eight years I’d lived with him. I will be forever grateful to that man. He saved my life, and I vowed to live my life the way he would want me to, but that’s not the reason that I did this for Reid.” He finally looked up at me, his eyes had just a light sheen to them. “After my dad died, I went to foster home after foster home, and they were fine. None of them treated me bad or anything, but that whole time, you know the one thought I had running through my head?”
I shook my head, not having any clue what he would have been thinking.
“I wondered why there wasn’t a single person out there that I could call family. And I always wondered if there really wasn’t anyone left, or if no one wanted me. Florrie, you have no fucking idea what that feels like, to feel so alone and know that there’s not a single family member that loves you enough to come for you. I know this is fucking hard for you. I know that
you love Reid like your own, but there is someone out there that wants him, and I won’t be the one to take that away from him.”
I just stood there, gaping at him and wondering what the hell to say. From his perspective, I could see why he felt the way he did, but that didn’t change the way I felt. There were so many questions I had, and I didn’t even know where to start.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”
He laughed humorlessly. “I’ve never told anyone, Florrie. It’s a time in my life that I never want to think about. It’s taken me a long time to stop having nightmares about the things my dad did to me, but I got past that, and as long as I don’t think about it, I’m good. So, no, I never brought it up because I didn’t want to go back down that road.”
“But what about Reid? It would have been something for you to…”
“What? To bond over?” He shook his head almost angrily. “Is that what you think I want to bond with him over? You think I want to tell him that I know exactly what he’s been through and then we can share our stories? Florrie, you’re the first fucking person that I’ve ever said anything to. I wouldn’t know how to fucking talk to him about it!”
“But at least he would know that someone understands!”
“I don’t want him to fucking know!” he shouted. “Goddamnit, Florrie, I tried talking to him, and I came up with nothing. Maybe other guys can do this shit, but not me. I don’t have the first fucking clue how to help him other than by protecting him. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know what to say to him.”
“Chris talked to him,” I said incredulously.
“Yeah, and that’s Chris. I’m fucking glad that he knew what to do and what to say. Yeah, I wish it was me, but it’s not, and I’m fine with that. He needed someone that he could connect with, and he found it. I’m not selfish enough that everything has to come from me. I think everyone here has something they can offer, but talking to Reid about his shitty home life isn’t a strength of mine.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Aside from the fact that you didn’t want to talk to me about it, I think you’re missing one very big point. You hounded me about opening up to you for years. How could you beg me to open up to you when you weren’t being honest with me?”
“I told you everything that was relevant. I don’t consider what happened to me as a kid in any way reflecting on the man I’ve become.”
“But you just said that you’re trying to live your life the way Tyler would have wanted you to.”
“Because he gave me a second chance at life!”
I pressed my hands against the sides of my head. I felt like I was going to explode. How could he not see what a hypocrite he was being? And arguing with him was like arguing with a wall. He was never going to see things through my eyes, so I wasn’t sure why I was even trying.
“Look,” I said calmly, “I understand all the reasons you’re trying to help Reid. I wish that you had told me sooner. If we had talked about this before, at least I wouldn’t feel so blindsided by where your loyalties lie.”
“My loyalties are to Reid and making sure he has the best life he can.”
“Right,” I bit out, pissed off for so many reasons right now that I didn’t know where to start. “And while I appreciate that you think you’re doing what’s best for Reid, what about me?”
“What about you, Florrie? You’re not a kid that needs protecting. You’re capable of making your own decisions. Reid doesn’t have that. I’m trying to give him options.”
“So, you think he needs protecting from me?”
“No, I think that your intentions are good, but you’re not thinking of only Reid. You’re attached to that kid and you want to do what you want.”
“I’m not attached to him. I love him and you’re trying to take that from me. Fuck, you make me sound like some spoiled child that’s upset because her toy was taken away. He’s not just a kid that I picked up off the street, Alec. He’s like my son! That’s how I see him. Every single time I look at him, I see the son we should have had. I see a boy that I love so much, I would do anything for him. He’s mine in every way that counts. You can’t take that from me. You can’t just rip him away like he means nothing to me! We’re supposed to be on the same side. We’re supposed to be looking out for one another, but you’re making decisions that affect me without even talking to me.”
“Because you won’t listen. Florrie, you’re so fucking stubborn. There’s no way that you’ll listen to me.”
“And that makes it okay for you to do whatever the hell you want?”
“I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying…fuck, I don’t know. I’m asking you to think about just Reid here.”
I scoffed, shaking my head at him. I couldn’t believe he was being so pigheaded. He couldn’t even see that he was tearing us apart. First with making decisions for both of us, and second, with lying to me for all these years, but demanding one hundred percent honesty with me. We were falling apart, and I didn’t know how to save us from that.
“I can’t do this anymore with you. I need some time to think about all this.”
“You’re walking away?” he asked incredulously.
“No,” I snapped, even though I wanted to tell him that was exactly what I was doing. “I’m not walking away. I’m choosing to take a step back before I do something that will hurt both of us. Just give me some time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know, Alec. Enough time that I won’t see betrayal every time I look at you.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Alec
I watched as Florrie worked with Reid in the training center. She was fucking pissed at me, and I knew she had a point, but I wasn’t at all sorry for what I had done. As I watched Reid in the ring, I was so fucking proud of him. But this was my life. I chose this for myself. I didn’t want Reid to be in that ring for any reason other than he wanted to be. And what was still to be determined was whether or not Reid would get along with his new family.
An ache formed in my chest when I thought of Reid being taken away by the Fullers. I didn’t want Reid to go. I loved having him around, and he filled my life with something that I didn’t even realize I was missing, but now wasn’t the time to be selfish. Not if this was what was best for him.
“Hey, man. I heard about what happened in court.”
“Yeah? What did you hear?”
“That the Fullers get visitation. That sucks, man.”
Tell me about it. He didn’t know the half of it though. I continued to watch Florrie training with Reid and wished that somehow everything could be different. It was like our lives had taken on this whole new spin that we weren’t sure how to navigate. And the longer we spun, the less I felt like it was likely we would survive.
Florrie spotted me across the gym and glared at me. I heard Craig’s intake of breath and then felt his hand grip my shoulder.
“Wow. What the fuck did you do?”
“I pissed her off.”
“Well, obviously. Anyone with even one eye can see that. Hell, I wouldn’t even need an eye. I could just be standing here and I could feel her glare. Whatever you did, you fucked up big time.”
“Thanks for filling me in on that,” I said sarcastically.
“Well, you’re not going to get on her good side by standing here watching her.”
I snorted. “I’m not sure she has a good side right now.”
“Well, we all knew that was true. You’re the asshole that went and fell in love with her.”
I sighed as I watched Florrie move. God, I loved her. I just couldn’t see how we were going to get past all this shit that was piling up.
“Come on. You can help me run some errands and we’ll get your mind off all this crap for a while.”
I didn’t want to, but he was right, I couldn’t just stand here and stare at her all day. I followed Craig out to his truck and got in the passenger side, staring out the window in thought a
s we drove into town. It wasn’t until he parked that I realized where we were.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, staring at the mall up ahead of me.
“I’m picking up some shit for Reese. She’s having cravings, so I’m running in to get some stuff for her.”
“I’ll wait here.”
“Why? Afraid to go inside a mall?”
I glanced over him, raising my eyebrows. “You think I’m scared to go in there?”
“Well, I’m not sure why else you wouldn’t go in there.”
“Really? You don’t know why I wouldn’t want to go in a mall with another dude?”
He grinned at me, his smile so wide that it looked like it would split his face in two. “Scared we’ll be labeled as gay?”
“I’m not scared of anything. I just don’t think that a guy has any reason to go into a mall alone, let alone with another guy. It’s just wrong.”
“Chicken,” he taunted.
“I’m not chicken.”
“Bkaww!” he crowed.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Seriously, it’s pathetic, man. You’re wearing tactical gear. You look like a man’s man. What do you care if someone thinks we’re gay? It’s not like I’m going to hold your hand. You can even walk on the other side of the mall if it makes you feel better.”
Well, now he was just making me sound like a pussy. “Fine, but I want Great Steak and Potato when we’re done shopping.”
“Fine,” he grinned.
I got out and shoved my hands in my pockets as we headed toward the front entrance. I started to break out in a sweat as Craig pushed the doors open. I could do this. I was a man, and there was nothing wrong with going into a mall.
“So, what do you need to get anyway?”
“Some lotion that she likes.”
I stopped and slapped a hand against his arm. “You said she was craving something.”
“Yeah, she really wants this lotion because of the way it smells.”
“That’s not a fucking craving.”
Nightingale: A Reed Security Romance Page 14