“He was safe with me,” Florrie snarled.
“He wasn’t your kid,” Cap reminded her.
“He was mine in every way that counted.”
She just didn’t get it. I pinned her with my gaze, but only received anger in return. “Florrie, we have to-”
“I’m not asking for your opinion,” she snapped at me.
“It’s not an opinion. I’m trying to protect all of us, especially you.”
“Yeah, funny how protection looks different on everyone,” Craig said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Well, it just seems there are different rules for everyone around here. Chris’s kid is in trouble and we go to war with two fucking gangs. We lose our homes and our women are hurt. Chance is taken and we all go on the run, taking on the fucking cartels. No one has any trouble using force to fight for Morgan and her kid. Coop’s daughter is attacked and he kills the man responsible in the basement. Nobody blinks an eye. Knight goes on a rampage and again, no one says a word. Not to mention that he shouldn’t even be with us to begin with because he’s a fucking assassin, but instead, he’s got a whole new life that Cap laid out for him.”
“Stop right there,” Cap yelled. “You’re talking about situations where we could avoid being caught. And everyone always knew the risks going in. There was a choice! With Knight, we did everything possible to cover our asses before we brought him in here. I’m not saying that I agree with his rampage on the senator, but he got in and out without being caught. And since when are you fucking turning on him? He’s the one that trains you and keeps you in top shape. Now he’s the fucking enemy? And Coop wasn’t risking anyone when he took out the man that attacked Kayla because no one fucking knew he was on the property! And with Chance and Chris, everyone had a fucking chance to walk away. That is not the situation we’re in now. The courts knew that Reid was with us. The social worker knew that he was on the property. If I had let Florrie run with him, we would have had the entire police department in here breathing down our necks. And when they didn’t find Reid, this would have turned into a federal matter. Every single one of you would have been under investigation. Your wives would be interrogated. Your homes would be searched. Our safe houses would have been exposed. And when word got out that one of our employees kidnapped a kid, we wouldn’t be able to get a single fucking job for years. Is that what all of you want? Because OPS won’t hire a bunch of guys that are under investigation. No company would. This is all we have and we have to protect it. We work with the crap that’s thrown at us, but we do it as a fucking team. We don’t pull guns on each other and threaten to kill each other. We don’t break up all we’ve worked for when we have other fucking options!”
I glanced around the room, trying to gage what everyone was thinking. Most of them looked like they were thinking things over. Florrie was still fuming in the corner. Chris and Ice were eyeing each other and Knight stood in the corner with the usual scowl on his face. I wasn’t sure that we were really making any progress here.
My gaze shot back to Florrie and I stared at her, willing her to look at me, to let me know what she was thinking right now. She finally looked at me, and there was a mixture of anger and longing on her face. I wanted to go to her and pull her into my arms, but she wouldn’t like that right now. She hated my possessive side on a good day. She would kick me in the nuts if I showed it now.
“Now, I want Alec and Florrie to take some time off, get your heads on straight. The rest of you will continue to show up for work every fucking morning or you can walk out that door right now. Am I clear?”
Everyone nodded. There was no choice in the matter. Florrie pushed off the wall and walked out the door without a word. My heart thundered, pounding out of control. She was leaving. She was walking out like she didn’t give a damn. My blood pulsed wildly through my veins as I pushed out of my chair and attempted to run after her, but my head swam and I stumbled as I headed for the door. I felt arms grab at me, but everything was turning black and then I was out.
✯✯✯✯✯
For the second time today, I woke up to bright lights shining in my eyes. I swatted at the light, only to realize that nobody was holding a flashlight up to my face. That was just the fucking bright lights of the medic room shining down on me.
“I told you we needed to have you checked out.”
I glared at Rocco, my face twisting in pain from the hard stare. My head was fucking pounding. There was no doubt in my mind that I had a bad concussion. The thing that really got me though, my woman was gone, not even here to watch over me. It wasn’t that I needed her to, but I went from having everything I ever wanted to absolutely nothing. I could feel the loss deep in my gut, churning and making me wish that I could just pass out again. It could have been the concussion, but I knew I would feel this way for a long time to come.
“Where’s Florrie?”
“Gone.”
I sat up, ignoring the way my head swam and the pain that intensified. That was all peanuts compared to fear that shot through me. “What do you mean ‘gone’?”
He shrugged. “She left and you passed out. It kind of seemed more important to check on you than run after her. But hey, if you want me to run after her, I can leave your ass here.”
I laid back down, slightly relieved that he didn’t say she hopped on a plane.
“Do you really think Cap wouldn’t watch out for her? I’m sure Craig’s over there right now with her, along with all the assholes that took her side.”
I snorted. “You’re delusional if you think she’s letting anyone near her right now. They might be camped outside, but that’s as close as they’re getting.”
“And as close as you’re getting. Cap has me under strict orders to keep your ass here until morning. You’re not going anywhere.”
I sighed and rested back on the pillow. It wasn’t like she would let me inside anyway. My gut was telling me to run to Florrie and make her listen, but this was one of those times that I had to ignore all my instincts. Strong arming Florrie had never worked in the past, but if I tried it now, I was sure to get a second concussion, at best.
“So, what’s your plan?”
“For what?”
He scoffed, shaking his head slightly. “For getting Florrie back, asshole.”
I stared at the ceiling, wondering that myself. I had no clue. Florrie was a hard woman on the best of days. She had been almost impossible to crack the first time, and I had walked away to save myself the heartache. I had been lucky that she came to her senses, but that wouldn’t happen this time. If I didn’t fight for her, she would walk away and never look back. But it was a delicate balance. If I pushed too hard, she would push back one hundred times harder. If I didn’t push at all, she would slip further away from me until she was gone.
“Wow,” Rocco said when I didn’t answer. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not know how to handle Florrie. That’s gotta be a record or something.”
“I may not get her back this time.”
“You can’t think that way, man. It’s too soon to give up. I mean, the shit that just went down, you can’t let that get to you.”
“Believe me, I’m not giving up, but I’m realistic enough to see when I’ve lost. I’ll fight with everything I have, even knowing that I’m slamming my head against the fucking wall.”
“That’s the spirit. Just do me a favor, next time you slam your head against something hard, go get checked out by a fucking doctor.”
“What’s wrong? Your skills aren’t up to par?”
“No. You’re just fucking heavy and I’m tired of dragging your ass back here.”
“You’re all heart, man.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Florrie
An entire day passed. One whole fucking day where I just stared around the house, feeling so fucking empty without Reid. I thought I would get to see him again. Cap had mentioned something about him stopping by for his stuff, bu
t instead, I got a note from the Fullers asking if I would pack up his stuff and have it sent over to where they were staying. They weren’t going to let me say goodbye properly.
I was so conflicted. He said he wanted to go, and even though I was pretty sure that it was all a lie, I couldn’t help but wonder if part of him did want to go. They were his real family, and as much as it grated on me, I knew that family trumped everything else. In the end, I would be someone that he knew for less than a year. In a few years when he was older, he would look back on his time here as a time of transition. He might not even remember me anymore.
The longer I sat in my house that I shared with Alec, the more I wondered why the hell I was even still here. I should be out finding a new job or finding a way to get closer to Reid again. Even if I just got a job near him in Utah, at least I might still see him. He wouldn’t forget me. But if I went out there, would the Fullers even let me see him? I would look like the crazy lady that couldn’t let go. Besides, Cap said that he would have OPS watching Reid. If I went out there and practically stalked him, how would it look to the judge? Would that hurt my chances of getting him back?
I felt like I had a huge hole in my chest right now, and it wasn’t just because Reid was gone. My relationship with Alec felt broken, and I wasn’t sure how to get back to where we were. He had made a decision for me that changed my life in such a profound way that I didn’t think I could ever forgive him.
“Florrie.”
I ignored him. He had been standing in the doorway for a good five minutes, just waiting for me to acknowledge him. How was I supposed to talk to him after he betrayed me like that? How was I supposed to stay in this room with him, knowing that what we once had was gone?
“Florrie, talk to me. Please.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything. Just don’t shut me out. We can get through this.”
My head snapped up and I glared at him. “We? So, now there’s a we?”
He sighed and walked into the room. “There’s always been a we.”
“Funny,” I laughed, “it didn’t seem like there was a we when you kept making decisions that would change my whole life.”
“He wasn’t ours, Florrie. He never belonged to us. I know you want to think-”
“Oh, so now you’re going to tell me how to think? You have no idea, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I was told I couldn’t have kids. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I knew that this was my life, but then Reid walked in and everything lined up perfectly. He fit perfectly with us. He completed us.”
Pain filled his face and he reached for me, but I didn’t want his touch. I yanked myself away from him and moved to the other side of the room.
“Florrie, we were good together, just you and me. We didn’t need someone else to make us perfect. Can’t you see that? I know that you’re hurting right now. I am too, but it’s always been us that made it all work.”
I shook my head, not wanting to believe what he said. In one way, it was so hurtful to make it sound like Reid didn’t matter. But I knew that wasn’t what he was saying.
“I can’t just forget that he was here. I can’t forget that he was such a big part of my life.”
“I’m not asking you to. I know that no one can replace him. I feel it too. I fucking miss him too. I want him back more than anything, but I also know that he’s in a good place.”
My teeth gritted together as I restrained myself from snapping at him. If I had to hear one more fucking time about how this situation was best for Reid, I would snap his neck. I couldn’t take his altruistic attitude toward Reid. It was like he thought he was his savior, guiding him down the right path in life.
“You know it never would have worked for us to run. We aren’t criminals, and that’s no life for a kid. And what would happen when Reid turned eighteen? Were we just never going to see him again? We’re talking about four years, Florrie. Four years and then we’ll be free to see him whenever we want. I know that’s a long time, but we can do that. And if something happens between now and then, you know that I’ll fight with everything I have to get him back. But running wasn’t the answer.”
“And you just made that decision for us.”
“Hey, you’ve made a lot of decisions for both of us over the years. This one was actually logical.”
I scoffed, not believing that he was throwing my past in my face. “Is that what this is about? Are you trying to get back at me for the mistakes I’ve made?”
“This has nothing to do with the past. This is about moving out of all that shit and doing what’s best for us.”
“This is not best for us!”
He moved quickly, pulling me into him. I didn’t want him to touch me, to hold me right now. I wanted to punch and kick him. I wanted to point a gun at his head like I had done earlier. It made me feel in control, and right now, I was floundering.
“I walked away from you once, Florrie. I won’t do it again. I won’t let you break us like you did before. I will hold us together, even if I’m the only one that can see all we still have to fight for. You fucking remember what it was like the last time when we were apart. It was fucking torture, and not even our issues then could keep me from loving you or needing you. This is a bump in the road, but we’re going to fight through and move forward just like we always do.”
His lips crashed into mine and he kissed me like he always had, full of so much love and intensity that I momentarily forgot why we were even fighting. I gripped onto his hair and pulled him tight against me as he ripped my shirt from my body and palmed my breasts. As much as I hated him right now, I needed him. He was my anchor, and no matter what, always would be.
I unbuckled his pants and shoved them down. I felt the rush of air as he pushed down my pants and then his fingers slipped inside me, thrusting and filling me up so much that I felt an ache fill me that only he could cure. His cock filled me moments later. His thrusts were frantic, full of need and desire. I rolled him over, straddling his hips and riding him hard. I barely looked at him as I used his body.
“Look at me, Florrie.”
I shook my head and squeezed his cock.
“Florrie,” he pleaded. “Look at me.”
Against my better judgement, I looked into his eyes. I saw the man I loved, but I also saw the man that had just destroyed my world. I felt his fingers at my clit, pushing me toward orgasm. My body betrayed me and sent me spinning out of control. I felt him tense beneath me, and then he was falling over with me, holding me to him like a lifeline.
Panting heavily, my senses came back to me and I slid off him. How could I have done that? No matter what he promised me, he was still the man that had taken something vital from me with no regard as to how it would affect me. And I couldn’t be with a man like that. Not when I felt so destroyed.
“Don’t go,” he said, grabbing me by the back of the neck. “Stay with me. I need you.”
“I needed you too, but you didn’t care.”
“I do,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “I need you more than life itself. That’s why I chose you. I will always fucking choose you. You’re my life, Florrie.”
I shook my head and pulled back from him. “I need some time. I hate you right now, and I don’t know that I can forgive you for what you did.”
“I bought us time to figure this out.”
“No, you chose me and only me. I can’t do that. I can’t choose only you, because there’s a kid out there that needs someone to fight for him. That was supposed to be us.”
“Florrie-”
“Just give me some time, Alec.”
He did something very much unlike him and nodded. I watched as he pulled up his jeans and slipped into his shirt. My heart broke a little when I watched him walk out that door, but I didn’t see another way forward right now. I needed time to adjust to our new normal. I needed time to adjust to the fact that Reid wouldn’t be there in the m
orning to eat breakfast with or spar with in the ring. Everything was different now, and I couldn’t help but think that it was all Alec’s fault.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Alec
I pounded the bag, trying to work out my frustrations from the past two days. I hadn’t spoken to Florrie since I walked away from her. She ignored me whenever I walked into the room, and if I tried to talk to her, she shook her head and walked away. Nothing I could say or do helped in any way. She said she needed time, so I was trying to give her that.
“How’s Florrie doing?” Craig asked the next morning.
“She’s pissed.”
“I figured that,” he said irritatedly, stepping in front of me and getting the way of me punching the crap out of the bag. “I meant, is she okay? How’s she doing with Reid gone?”
I sighed and unwrapped my hands. I wasn’t going to get any more time in with the bag with Craig hounding me. He was still pissed at me for stopping Florrie, but his need to know how she was doing won out. “She won’t talk to me. She blames me-”
“Yeah, a lot of us do.”
I glared at him. “Do you have something you want to say to me?”
“You mean, other than the fact that you fucked up?”
“Of course you would side with her.”
“I side with Reid. That kid was trusting in you to take care of him.”
“And I still am,” I said angrily. “How the fuck am I supposed to give him the life he deserves if he’s on the run?”
“Look, you made your decision and you have to live with that, but I don’t stand behind you on this one. You chose safety over your kid and Florrie.”
“He’s not my kid,” I said angrily. “I fucking wish he was, but he’s not. I can’t just do whatever the fuck I want. I have to play this right or I’ll never see him again.”
Nightingale: A Reed Security Romance Page 21