Nightingale: A Reed Security Romance

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  I took another step back, my heart shattering inside me. I wanted to say something to her, anything to beg for her to hold on and work this out with me, but it became clear to me in that moment that she didn’t want to work this out. She wanted me to walk away so that she didn’t have to deal with the pain of being around me anymore. I was nothing to her, and I never would be again.

  I spun on my heel and jerked open the door, rushing out into the rain. I didn’t know where I was headed, but when I backed out of the driveway in my truck and took one last look at the house, she wasn’t there. She wasn’t watching me leave because she didn’t care. I really meant nothing to her anymore.

  I drove through the rain, barely paying attention to where I was going. I was walking into the bar before I even realized what I was there for. She was still at the bar and when she saw me, she must have known. She stood and walked over to me, grabbing my hand as she pulled me out the door. The rain pelted me as she dragged me around the back of the bar to her car. I shoved her up against the door, ignoring how her keys hit the pavement. All I cared about was fucking her and forgetting what had happened. I slammed my mouth down on hers, slipping my tongue in her mouth, trying to erase the taste of Florrie that never went away. Her fingers slipped through my hair as she pulled me closer.

  I pinned her against the car door with my hips. I could feel my erection straining against my jeans, begging for a release. I slid my fingers into the waistband of her jeans, fumbling with her zipper. I slid it down slowly, pulling back to look at her.

  I swallowed thickly, shaking my head slightly. “It’s over,” I whispered.

  She nodded and pulled me back into her, kissing me like she needed me as much as I needed her. We both needed to forget and try to move on. A few seconds later, I had my cock out, rubbing against her pussy as I slid inside. Her gasps made my cock jump inside her, urging me to move faster. I thrust hard, fucking her up against her car, not caring at all if someone walked out and saw me. There was only her and I and the fucking rain, washing away all the crap that we were both dealing with.

  She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close as she shattered in my arms. I was so close, so close to finding that release that I so desperately needed. She whispered my name and I tilted over, coming hard as my cock slammed into her one last time. I rested my hand against the car, bracing myself so I didn’t fall over with her in my arms.

  As my breathing slowed and the chill of the rain soaked through me, I suddenly realized that no matter how many women I fucked, I would never erase Florrie from my life. She was so deeply ingrained in me that I would never be able to move on with anyone else. And there was no way I could keep her if she found out that I ran out on her and fucked another woman.

  “Shit,” I swore, stepping away from Amanda.

  “This was a bad idea,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have…”

  “Me neither. Fuck.” I ran my hand through my soaked hair and stepped further away. “Amanda, I shouldn’t have- Fuck, if Florrie finds out…”

  “What?” It was a horrified whisper, one that cut me deep. I knew I had used her. I thought she knew that too.

  “Amanda-”

  “Did you seriously just say that? You said you ended it,” she said as she scrambled to pull up her pants. “You said it was over.”

  “It is… it…fuck, I don’t know. It’s not that simple.” I started shoving myself back in my jeans. It was obvious she just wanted to get out of here.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” She finished pulling herself together and bent over to find her keys. “Either it’s over or it’s not.”

  “It’ll never be over with her,” I said bluntly. “I thought we were both-”

  “Don’t!” she snapped. “There’s a difference between using each other and you getting back at your fiancé. You made me the other woman! I can’t believe you! I told you that I left my husband because he cheated on me and you just made me into her!”

  “It wasn’t like that,” I started, feeling like a total shitbag for what I had just done. “Look, I’m sorry. I never meant for that to happen. I wasn’t trying to-”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she snapped. “God, I’m such an idiot. Don’t ever talk to me again. If you see me in the bar, walk the other way.”

  She ran around to the other side of her car and flung the door open.

  “Amanda!”

  She flipped me off and took off out of the parking lot, leaving me standing in the rain. “Fuck!”

  I walked to my truck and got in. I sat there for a good ten minutes, trying to figure out what the fuck to do. If Florrie found out that I fucked another woman, there was no way I would ever get her back. I couldn’t tell her, but if I lied to her and she found out, it would all be over anyway. Brushing the water from my face, I put the truck in drive and headed home. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. Maybe she wouldn’t be home and I could get away with putting this off until I could find some reason to make this all okay.

  When I pulled into our driveway, she was still inside. The rain picked up as I opened the door. I stepped out into the darkness, dreading every step toward the house. I had to lie. I just couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t stand her rejection. I couldn’t break her heart further tonight. No matter what shit she said about me, none of what happened was okay. It couldn’t be justified, and I couldn’t talk my way out of this.

  I opened the door, intending to just slip upstairs without her noticing, but she came around the corner, stopping me in my tracks. Guilt raced through me so hard that I was sure I was giving away everything on my face. I stared at her, waiting for whatever she was going to say. For a second, she actually looked like she was going to apologize or something. But then her eyes flicked down and then shot back up to my face. I glanced down, my eyes slipping closed when I saw my shirt caught in my zipper. When I opened my eyes and looked at her, anger unlike anything I had seen yet was swarming in the depths of her eyes. She walked straight up to me, swiping at my face with her thumb. When she pulled it back and stared down at the red smear from Amanda’s lipstick, it was pretty fucking clear that she knew exactly what had happened.

  Her eyes burned as she looked up at me. “Was she worth it?”

  I swallowed hard, forcing my voice to stay calm. Because even though I knew what I had done was fucking wrong, there was a larger part of me that wanted to slap it back in her face and tell her she had done this to us.

  “Does it matter?”

  She didn’t answer me. She just turned around and walked away.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Florrie

  I walked away like it didn’t matter to me at all, but inside, I was shattered. He had slept with another woman, and he hadn’t even been gone an hour. He literally walked out the door and fucked someone else, then came back to me. Well, not to me. He wasn’t coming to see me. He was slinking away, trying to hide everything from me.

  I held it all in until I made it to the kitchen. My eyes filled with tears and my chest started to heave with a sob, but I made it to the basement door. I flung it open and made it down the stairs where I could sit alone in the dark. It seemed to be fitting for me to sit here alone.

  Pain worse than losing Reid ripped through me. How could he do that to me? He was supposed to be mine. He swore that he was mine and he always would be, but then he left, without a thought, and fucked some random woman. I swiped at my face as a terrible thought crossed my mind. Had he been fucking this woman all along or had this just started? Suddenly, I needed to know.

  I pushed myself up and ran upstairs. Alec was just stepping out of the shower when I shoved into his room. He had a towel slung around his hips and the water from his hair was dripping down his chest. The very same chest that I used to feel pressed against my back every night. The same chest that held a scar from when he was shot trying to save my life. But now all I could think about was if the woman he had just fucked had run her fingers over his skin.

  “How
many times?”

  He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Does it matter?”

  “I need to know. Was it just this one time or has this been going on for a while?”

  “Florrie-”

  “Because if it’s been going on for longer, then this all makes sense. It would clear up why you weren’t willing to fight for Reid with me. It would make things perfectly fucking clear as to why when I needed you, you weren’t there for me.”

  I stared at him, needing him to tell me the truth, but he just stared at the floor, his hands on his hips. My whole body started to shake, either from rage or from fear. I couldn’t tell which was the overwhelming emotion right now. I was too fucked up, but needed answers at the same time.

  “Just tell me,” I shouted. “Just tell me if you were fucking her all along!”

  “No, goddamnit!” He was in front of me in two steps, his hands gripping my arms and shaking me furiously. “I fucked her just this one time, but you can tell yourself that I fucked her longer if it’ll make you feel better. You can use that as your excuse as to why you think that I wasn’t there for you. But this is all on you, Florrie. I know I played my part, but you pushed me away. You told me every fucking day how much you hated me. You’re the one that ended us.”

  He pushed away from me, pacing as he ran his hands through his hair. I stood there, not really sure what to say. Was he really blaming me because he went out and fucked another woman? Was I hearing this right?

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re putting this on me? Because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants?”

  He stopped and stared at me, his hands balled in fists at his side. “Did you or did you not tell me that I didn’t fucking matter to you?”

  My mouth dropped open and I shook my head. “I was pissed…I…”

  “Yeah,” he scoffed, “name one fucking day that you haven’t been pissed at me. Name one day that you’ve something even remotely nice to say to me.” His face hardened and he shook his head slowly. “Name one fucking day that you didn’t tell me what a useless piece of shit I was.”

  I had done that. I had said that and so much more. I was hurting and I took it out on him, because I didn’t have another outlet for my anger. And I was angry all the time. At first it was mixed with sadness and I felt that I could lean on him during my lowest moments, but then that anger took over and turned me into this crazed woman that said horrible things to hurt him. He had hurt me and I wanted him to feel ten times worse than I was.

  He pulled out a bag and started stuffing clothes inside. “Where are you going? Are you going back to her?”

  He huffed out a laugh. “No, I’m not going back to her. You wanted me out of your life, so I’m going.”

  Typical man, he was running away from our problems. I couldn’t believe he was walking away. He was the one that had caused all this and now he was just leaving.

  “I can’t believe you. That’s it? You fuck another woman and now this is my fault?”

  He zipped up his bag and pulled on some clothes. “You know, I was willing to put up with a lot of shit to get you back. And after I fucked that woman tonight, I realized something. There’s not a single woman out there that could ever wipe you out of my mind. So I came back here and I was fucking terrified that I would lose you as soon as you found out. But then you found out and you just walked away like you didn’t give a shit, and that made me realize something else.”

  “What’s that?” I asked sarcastically.

  “You don’t ever fight for me. I’m always the one fighting to have you by my side, and sometimes I win, but it’s always on me to put in the effort. You know, just once I want you to be the one that can’t live without me.”

  He slung his bag over his shoulder and shoved past me as he walked out the door.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  My stomach was in knots all night. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t stand the thought of being in this house without Alec. I thought I had wanted him gone, but now that he packed a bag and left, I knew that being here without him would kill me. But I couldn’t stick around Reed Security either. I needed to get away and get some perspective. So, I did what Alec did, I packed a bag and headed for the door, but when I opened the front door, Craig was standing there, his eyebrows raised in surprise when he saw my bag.

  “Going somewhere?”

  “Just getting away for a few days.”

  “And were you planning on sharing this with anyone?”

  “I sent Cap an email.” I tried to move past him, but he blocked my path.

  “Hold on, you can’t just walk out of here without telling me where you’re going or when you’ll be back. What’s this about anyway? Does this have to do with Alec crashing on my couch last night?”

  “Did he tell you what happened?”

  “No.” He shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets. “I figured it was the same old shit with you two.”

  “Same old shit,” I chuckled. “Is that what our problems have become?”

  “Well, it kind of is. He tries to find a way to make you happy and you shit all over him.”

  “Since when did you start taking his side?” I asked accusingly.

  “Since he’s doing everything he can to get you back and all you did is tell him how much you hate him. A guy can only take so much-”

  “He fucked another woman,” I practically shouted. My chest was heaving and the tears were so close to the surface that I had to turn away. I was never weak in front of anyone, especially my teammates. That led to the whole uncomfortable aspect of being a woman with emotions. I sucked back my emotions and turned to look at him. He was just staring at me, but there was no surprise on his face. “You act like you expected this.”

  “Well, when you tell a man that he’s useless…”

  I huffed out a laugh, “So, now he can’t take a little criticism?”

  Yeah, it sounded harsh even to me.

  “Is that what you think you’re doing to him? Florrie, I’ve been there. You can bullshit everyone else. You can tell them how unfeeling Alec is. You can tell them that Alec was wrong in this whole fucking thing, but the shit you said to him was harsh, and he just stood there and took it.”

  “And that’s my problem?” The truth was, I wanted the fight, but he would never give it to me. He just accepted me yelling at him.

  “He knew you were hurting and that you blamed him. He was taking everything you threw at him because he knew you needed to take your anger out on someone. But frankly, every time that you jabbed that knife in, you were pushing him closer and closer to something like this. It was only a matter of time before he went out and did something stupid.”

  “So, you’re siding with him? He cheated on me and that’s okay?” I asked incredulously.

  “I didn’t say that, but what did you expect? Did you really think he would stand around and take your shit until you finally forgave him? Yeah, he fucked up, but this is just as much on you. And now he’s gone. What’s it going to take for you to realize what’s standing right the fuck in front of you? I swear to God, Florrie, it’s like the last time you broke up all over again. When the fuck are you going to pull your head out of your ass and see what’s right in front of you?”

  He turned and walked out the door without another word. There was some logic to what he was saying. Part of me wanted to go to Alec and see if we could work through this, but the other part of me was so angry that he had screwed that other woman that I just couldn’t see myself walking up to him and talking to him logically. And a huge part of me didn’t want to admit that I was wrong. I knew it deep inside. I had pushed him away, but that didn’t excuse what he did.

  I grabbed my bag and walked out the door, because there was no way I was ready to talk this out with Alec, and there was no way that I was sticking around to get another lecture from anyone else.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  Alec

  “Wake up, asshole.”

  Water spla
shed across my face and I jerked upright as the cold water worked its way down my shirt.

  “What the fuck was that for?”

  Craig raised an eyebrow at me. “I just talked with Florrie. I thought she might be able to tell me why you slept on my couch last night. Guess what she told me?”

  I sighed and ran my hand over my face. It was too fucking early in the morning for this. “I would imagine that she told you that I cheated on her.”

  “You did what?” he shouted.

  I jerked my head up, my face flushing bright red. Oh fuck, he didn’t know. “She didn’t tell you?”

  “No, she told me. I was just fucking with you, because the Alec I know would never fucking cheat on Florrie. So, either you’re an imposter or you were on some pretty fucked up drugs last night and didn’t realize what you were doing. I’m really hoping that you were on some fucked up drugs, because otherwise that means that someone infiltrated Reed Security and none of us fucking knew it.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. He stalked over to me and grabbed me by the collar, hauling me up off his couch. He flung me across the room into the wall. My back slammed into it painfully and I crumpled to the floor. Fuck, that really hurt. I started to get to my feet when I was jerked forward and my head was shoved into a bucket of ice water.

  I shoved my arms out, trying to grab onto whatever I could, while doing my best not to drown at the same time. Craig yanked me back up and I gasped for air.

  “What the fuck-”

  I was plunged back into the ice water and held down before I could ask him what the fuck he was doing. I could feel the water seeping in when I accidentally took a gulp and then I was hauled up again. I choked and spit up the water, feeling the burn in my lungs.

  “Why the fuck-”

  He shoved me back down again, and even though I fought him, I couldn’t stay the fuck out of the water. When he yanked me back out again, I shoved away from him as I gasped for air. The front door opened and Derek and Hunter walked in.