by C.M. Owens
Chapter 18
Accepting My New Life
Time continues to move forward even if we're standing still.
After nearly getting everyone I loved killed, I was feeling pretty rotten for running away. Ash sat across from Tallis and me. I caught her scowl and awaited my well-deserved lashing.
"Oh, by the way, thanks for losing my passport."
I flinched. I left my bag on the side of the trail and forgot all about it during the sudden retreat. "Sorry," I mumbled, adding that to the long list of things I'd never be able to make up for.
"You're just lucky I know how to-" She looked around the plane, trying to phrase the next part of her sentence. "-work a little magic."
She snickered at her little comment, though I didn't find it as humorous. Magic was ruining everything. So was I.
I leaned back in my seat, forcing a smile so she wouldn't see through me. Tallis stared out the window, his eyes focused the clouds. His hand was just inches away from mine. I wanted to reach over and grab it, but I couldn't deal with him pulling away from me.
It was hard enough fighting back the urge to tell him I loved him again. I kept reminding myself of how poorly that had worked out the first time. Instead, I decided to just talk to him.
He looked like he needed a friend, and I owed him that much. "I’m sorry you had to hurt your cousin. I know that must have been incredibly difficult for you."
He turned with his eyes narrowed, seeming angry at me. "I wasn't trying to hurt him. I was trying to kill him. It wasn't hard at all. It was easy to do. He was trying to kill you. I don't care who it is, I would never let anyone hurt you. He may be my blood, but he's not my family. None of them are."
When he said stuff like that, it confused me even worse. How could he feel that strongly toward me and not love me?
He was willing to kill his cousin without even the slightest doubt because he tried to hurt me. I didn't understand why he couldn't see.
I wasn't going to get into all of that though. I thought back to the bullet shattering against his chest, and I flinched.
"I know this is going to sound weird, but I swear when that bullet came at me, everything went into slow motion. It was like everything slowed to a near standstill until after the bullet shattered on your chest. I saw everything with such clarity. I even saw the tiny fragments explode into the air almost one by one. It was amazing, other than the part where you had to literally take a bullet for me."
I expected him to snicker a little at that last part, but I was met with crickets instead. His eyes got really wide, like I had said something wrong.
His voice showed his confusion. "What? You saw everything in slow motion?"
I squirmed uncomfortably now, perplexed by his reaction and his tone. I responded with uncertainty. "Yeah, it just seemed as though time was crawling. I couldn't move, but I could see everything barely moving, except for you."
Allaysia leaned over the seat with astonishment on her face, whispering, "You learned how to control it? How did it work?"
He shook his head and stared at me while whispering back, "It just worked that one time, when I needed it more than I ever have. I don't even know how I did it. It just happened. How did Aria-"
"Shhh," she interrupted gently. "We'll talk more when it's safe to talk. Everyone will want to be included, I'm sure."
"There won't be any reason for that. It's not like I even know how to control it. Like I said, it just happened."
He leaned back in his seat, relaxing slightly. Then he resumed staring out the window. I was completely bewildered and they just seemed indifferent to my concerns.
I was relieved when the plane landed, hoping I would get some answers to their cryptic conversation.
Tallis wasn't letting me out of his sight. He tossed Desmond and Ash his keys as he opened the passenger door of my car for me.
He stayed silent all the way to the house. Every time I brought up the slow motion thing, he would just say later.
I was so happy to see the house. "Finally! I can get some answers," I exclaimed as he helped me out of the car.
He smiled just slightly with the corner of his mouth and grabbed my hand. He had no idea what physical contact did to me. It burned me up, like a passionate fire that could never be extinguished. I couldn't understand why he claimed to not love me.
He had just flown to South America to save me. He had studied my sketches so much that he found my hideaway in an enormous rainforest. He tried to kill his own cousin to save me. He apparently used some new freaky slow motion power to jump in front of a bullet for me. He wouldn't even let me ride home without him. He had put my family's protective crest inside his pretty little car next to his in the very beginning. He planned on being with me all the time. He slept in my bed, rarely letting me out of his sight. I just hated he wouldn't admit it to himself or to me. It was killing me.
He went and got a couple bottles of water from the refrigerator. He handed me one as he sat on the couch beside me. Then everyone started piling in. Everyone put away their stuff and joined us in the living room area.
Ash sat beside me. "So, by the way, about the whole passport thing... I'd like you to know how embarrassing it was to be closer to thirty than twenty, and have to have a parent's permission to board a plane."
"What?" Then it dawned on me. "Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm surprised they let us use each other's ID. We don't look that much alike."
Ash smiled. "Well, I did look like you when I got there." She took a breath, and before my eyes, she transformed to look like me.
I gasped slightly, feeling as though I had stepped outside my body to stare at myself. It was uncanny actually.
"I didn't have time to make a new passport before we left," she added. "This was a quick and easy fix."
It was hard to believe it was easier to change one's appearance than it was to make a new passport. I obviously still had a lot to learn about magic.
"Awesome."
I could see Tallis flinch out of the corner of my air.
Ash changed back, laughing slightly as she responded, "I know, right? It was fun getting to be you for a minute."
I became distracted with the other chatter going on in the room. Alvin's eyes burned with intensity as he studied Tallis, gazing at him like he had just caught on fire or something.
"Amazing," Dad said in a tone of awe.
I shrugged my shoulders with my hands out. "What?"
Tallis looked at me and put his hand on my knee as he joined in on the conversation I had apparently managed to miss. "I don’t know how it works, or how to control it."
"How to control what?" Ash was thankfully just as confused as I was.
Allaysia spoke with a cool tone. "Tallis has the ability to still time to a near halt. He hasn't been able to use it on command until Brazil. When the man shot at Aria, he was able to slow time so he could step in front of her. His will to defend her at any cost must have triggered it somehow. He used it perfectly.
"Most of our powers do show themselves more clearly in a time of extreme circumstances such as that. Self defense is the strongest trigger to any power. I've never seen the defense mechanism kick in so strongly for someone who wasn't a soul mate though."
Allaysia’s explanation put some of my questions to rest. However, I didn't like the implication that Tallis and I were not soul mates. I was sick of everyone disagreeing with me.
Maybe that was why it had kicked in. Maybe that was proof we were soul mates after all. Apparently I was the only one who seemed to think so though.
Tallis spoke quietly, almost too quietly for me to even hear him, although no one else seemed to have a problem. "I haven't ever been able to use it for any amount of time to do anything with it. Until today, I've never been able to actually control when it happened. It's always just popped up at random. I wouldn't have known about it otherwise. I've tried using since we left Brazi
l, and I haven't had any success."
"So you have two incredible one-of-a-kind powers? That's so not fair at all," Ash groaned.
Leave it to Ash to make it a competition.
Jaslene rolled her eyes at Ash. Tallis huffed out a small chuckle. Then he resumed.
"I don't know that it's going to do us any good if I can't learn to control it."
"Maybe Aria should get shot at again. This time you could pay attention to how it works," Gear joked through a chuckle.
"Aria will get herself into another mess at some point and time. I'm sure you'll get plenty of practice," Ash said, rolling her eyes at me.
"Yeah, maybe. If she let's me stick around, that is." Tallis searched my eyes, waiting for me to answer.
He had a look like a little kid would have at Christmas while waiting on someone to tell him if he could open a present.
I put my head down, feeling a little embarrassed by everyone's staring. I shrugged my shoulders. "Guess you kind of have to. I don't do so well without you, it seems."
It was going to be hard to be around him while feeling the way I did - the way he claimed he didn't. Nothing he did made sense. He wanted to be with me, but he didn't want to be with me. I was exhausted from trying to figure out his feelings for him.
He smiled like I had answered just the way he wanted me to. I shook my head to myself. I loved him whether he believed it or not and I wasn't going to give up.
When we were away from the others, I asked, "Why did you flinch when Ash changed into me?"
He looked so pitifully sad. He stared away for a minute, seeming to be lost in a cloud of misery. I was starting to think he wasn't going to answer, but he finally did.
"When she changed at the airport, I had a lot on my mind. When she changed just now, it made me remember what I was thinking then."
I was slightly puzzled by that vague response. "What were you thinking?"
He sighed loudly, bringing his eyes back to meet mine.
"I was worried we wouldn't make it in time. We were going in blind as to where you were or what was happening to you. The only thing Jaslene had seen was the fire and the chaos in Brazil. With you, there was nothing. I had no idea what condition we were going to find you in.
"When Ash changed at the airport, it worried me that it might be the last time I ever saw you, and it wasn't even you. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing your face on anyone but you. I was going to think of the time I saw you before that, but that wasn't the best of memories either. This was all my fault."
"No, it was mine," I groaned, doing my best to ease his guilt. In the end, it really was all my fault. All of it.
We went outside with everyone for the celebration. Ash raised fire from the ground against a few logs that Gear had assembled with a little help from his wind. Jay shot bolts of energy that exploded into the night sky like electric fireworks.
Selesha had joined us. It was sad seeing her watch Jay and Ayla. I could tell it was killing her. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know where to start.
The huge fire and the electric fireworks were quite a romantic backdrop for Tallis and me. I leaned into him, enjoying the way he held my hand and kissed the top of my head.
"Thank you for always saving me," I murmured softly, sighing in content as I watched the embers of the fire float on the arms of the natural wind.
It was cold, so the fire fed me warmth. So did Tallis. I felt his hand squeeze mine a little tighter.
"As long as I'm alive, I'll be around to save you. If anything was to happen to you... I wouldn't live through it." He paused when I looked away to hide my sadness. He had no idea what his words did to my soul. He sounded confused as he changed the subject. "I don't understand how you saw things as I saw them in slow motion."
He touched my cheek, caressing it softly with the tips of his fingers. I fought back the tears and shrugged while turning back to face him.
"I don't know either. I'm glad I was able to help you use a new power though." I laughed a little, though it was forced. "At least all of my life-threatening encounters give you a good workout."
He smiled, letting his eyes drift back to the fire.
Everyone danced around the blazing beauty for a couple of hours, and then we finally went in. The adults indulged in some cocktails, I was stuck with only water.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked in a whisper, looking at Tallis hopefully.
"I hoped you'd ask." He seemed almost relieved as he brushed my hair from my face.
We headed up the stairs, side by side. He reached for my hand as we made our way to my room, and his fingers became interlocked with mine.
He shut my door, and I lay down on the bed, completely exhausted. He flopped down beside me and wrapped his body tightly, so tightly against mine. His hands reached around my waist, just slightly touching the skin my shirt left uncovered. His hands felt like silk. His breath on my neck sent a wave of chill bumps all over my body. I heard him snicker when he noticed them.
I turned over to let my eyes meet his. I wasn't angry, but I could hear pain in my voice when I almost whimpered before straining out my words.
"Why do you laugh? Why is this humorous to you? Do you have any idea how much this hurts me? I want to be with you so badly that it physically hurts. Every part of my body aches for you. Is it funny to see me suffer because you feel nothing for me? I'm so confused by you and how it feels like you want me like I want you, but then you shut me down like I mean nothing at all to you."
His expression changed to be more serious. He cleared his throat, seeming a little surprised by my outburst.
"I was laughing because I'm happy. I love making you feel something for me. With that said, I also hate myself for doing this to you. You mean absolutely everything to me. Nothing means anything at all if you're not with me.
"I've tried fighting the urge to be by your side, but I can't. I've done everything in my power to not link with your emotions, but I'm continuously unsuccessful. I'm not strong enough to fight it. I'm not capable of leaving you alone. It's selfish and cruel, and I wish I could stop, I really do, but I can't. Every second I'm not with you is the worst time of my life.
"Without you, I'm completely miserable and emptiness is all that consumes me. You're so unbelievably amazing that I can't stop myself. I physically hurt for you, too, Aria. I can't spend a moment without thinking about you. Even when I'm with you, I'm thinking about you. It's completely insanely wonderful and dreadfully painful at the same time. I don't know how to stop.
"I don't want to ruin your last few years as mortal. I don't want to risk the harm I could cause, should my blood truly be tainted. I can't let myself bond with you the way you say you want to. It's going to be unbearable for me when you transform and go in search of your true soul mate. Your human emotions for me will become obsolete, and when your feelings die, mine will, too. It's going to be hard enough to lose you this way. I can't get any closer. I just can't."
I winced at the obvious pain in his face and tears in his eyes. "I don't think I'll be going anywhere. I think I've already found my soul mate. Well, I don't just think it, I know it. You don't believe it, but how else do you explain what we feel?"
I put my hand on his face and slid it down his neck to his already unbuttoned shirt. His bare stomach lay beneath it. His neck was within reach of my lips. I put my head closer to it and kissed it lightly.
I heard him groan slightly with guilty pleasure. I kissed his soft neck again, moving down to his chest. I didn't know what I was doing, but it seemed to be working. His hands clasped me tightly, pulling me closer to his body. Our lips grazed each other's and then he moved his down to kiss my neck.
It felt so... hot. My whole body raced with heat, like I had a fever. My heart pulsed faster and faster as I slid his shirt off his right shoulder and began kissing it.
He pulled me back enough to catch a breath.
"I can't do this to you. Please don't do this to me. You have no idea how hard this is to fight. I want you so badly I can't stand it. I love you, Aria. Please don't make this any harder on me."
Please tell me he really said that!
Electrically charged tingles crawled through me, igniting every ounce of emotion in me and stirring me to life. My breath left me for a second as my mind searched to see if I had really just heard that. His eyes held mine, pleading and begging for contradicting things. He loved me, wanted me, but he also wanted me to stop.
"I love you, too. I have for a long time."
I wasn't stopping. I couldn't. I knew we were soul mates. I couldn't breathe without him. I needed him like air. I couldn't be without him another moment. He was desire, passion, happiness... He was everything I needed, and I wasn't backing down this time. I was giving myself to him to love. I was taking him to love. I wasn't walking away until he was mine.
"If you love me, don't do this to me," he pleaded, his voice going out. "I don't have enough strength left to fight this for the both of us anymore."
"Who asked you to fight for me?" I asked, keeping my voice soft.
I continued my gentle kisses around his chest and neck, working my way back up to his mouth.
"Aria, please. This is so hard not to give in to," he begged.
"Then give in," I whispered back, still pressing myself tightly against his body.
I sat up in his lap, moving my legs around his waist and poising my lips to be millimeters from his. My body was begging him to make the first move. I was on fire for him, and I was going to be relentless in my attempts. The more he resisted, the more I fought to tempt him. It worked.
His hands were suddenly in my hair. Then one hand slid down my back bringing me with him as he dropped back to the bed. He grabbed me at my right thigh and slid me up, making everything inside me come to boil.
This was it. It was happening - my first kiss with my first and only love. He still had one hand on the back of my neck and he pulled me down to his face. It was so much better than I had ever imagined it would be; the perfect ending to a horribly traumatic day. The intensity of how badly we wanted each other was overwhelmingly breathtaking.
His lips felt like velvet as they crushed against mine, pushing me into a place of fantasy. I felt the fireworks erupting powerfully in our mouths. I felt his heart pounding under my body. I felt his hands pulling me as close as they could. I felt alive and on fire.
His tongue explored my mouth and with it came a stronger heat. It was almost too much.
He was mine. All I had to do was wait until my transformation to prove it. I knew the dark ones were still looking for me, but in that moment, I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was the fire surging through me, burning out of control. All I cared about was being with him, and I finally could be… for now.
The delicious heat kept getting stronger, to the point I couldn't catch my breath at all. Suddenly, it was burning me from the inside out. An excruciating, unrelenting, merciless inferno.
What started as a cloud of euphoria became a shadow of darkness as my sounds of pleasure turned into a bloodcurdling scream.
End of book one.
Book two, Jaded Jewels, coming soon. Join The Coveted Saga fan page on Facebook to get teasers from book two.
Other books by C.M. Owens -
Adult - ages seventeen and older for all books listed below:
Daughter of Aphrodite (Book one - The Daughter Trilogy)
Daughter of Asteria (Book two - The Daughter Trilogy)
Daughter of Kaos (Book three - The Daughter Trilogy)
A bundle deal is available.
Gifted Curse (Book one of the Curse Trilogy)
Forgotten Curse (Book two of the Curse Trilogy)
Lifted Curse (Book three of the Curse Trilogy)
A bundle deal is available.
Secret Gifts - Book one of the Gifts Trilogy (A continuation of the Curse Trilogy)
The Devil's Artwork (Book one - Faders Trilogy)
New Dawn of War (Book two - Faders Trilogy)
And Blood's Fury - Book one of the Deadly Beauties series