by Palmer, Dee
“How is that exactly? Surely that makes me more of a target?”
“My mother is the only person who is a real threat; she always has been. Unfortunately, I only recently became aware of the extent of her focus. Anyway, now that your place in the family is known she will not attempt to hurt you.”
“Again,” I fire back, and he acknowledges the hit with a slow, painful blink.
“Again.”
The sadness and regret blazing in his eyes takes me by surprise. I thread my fingers with his and let them rest between us.
He twists his lips into a strained smile when he speaks. “Besides, she’s likely to be spending a fair a few years in jail.”
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“Really? You can’t?”
“Well, maybe I can.” I sniff, and both of us let the truth of that settle without a hint humour.
“Why didn’t you call the police?” he asks after a short pause.
“It wasn’t my call. You didn’t kidnap and stab me.”
“Or blow you up.”
“Well, I never thought that was you. You love that place.”
“Loved and, yeah, I did. Why didn’t Logan turn me in?”
“He didn’t want to do anything that might make me hate him.” I repeat the reason and Atticus recoils with confusion.
“But kicking you out wouldn’t make you hate him?”
“I’m aware of the irony.”
“He loves you enough to accept you love me. That’s pretty smart.”
“Yeah I’m feeling all kinds of loved right now,” I retort flatly and redirect the conversation back away from Logan. That particular thick fog of thoughts will take more than a midmorning confessional to clear. “And what about the mess she got you into?”
“I’m still negotiating. Sebastian has pretty much convinced the authorities I had nothing to do with the disappearing funds, and the pension is secure, thanks to you.”
“Sebastian?”
“Mr Waterhouse.”
I nod. “So you can carry on as CEO.”
“Technically I can, when the other situation is sorted, if it’s what you want?”
“I don’t know.”
“Take your time, Tia. I’m going nowhere. Whatever you decide, I will support you.” He picks up my hand and clasps it between his, kissing the fingertips, and I feel the tingle from his lips as if he’s kissing the length of my spine and just round to the front of my body too.
“Atticus, I don’t understand how you can simply hand it all over, like it’s nothing. This was your whole life. The Kraus Corporation was your destiny, and to give it up, it just doesn’t sit right.”
“None of this sits right. Trust me, if you weren’t the heir, I would fight it, and I’d win. But the truth is you are my destiny, always have been, always will be. Your whole life was ruined by lies and Kraus family secrets, you deserve more than I could ever repay.” His hand clenches into a ball. His long lashes flutter, and he lifts his head to fix his piercing eyes on me. He clears his throat before hitting me with the most heartfelt declaration I think I’ve ever heard. “There’s no point mourning the loss of something that was never mine, not when my life depends upon winning back the only person who was ever truly mine.” A heavy silence settles, and although I hold his gaze, I find I can’t reply, after long seconds where the only sound is our synchronised breathing and the tick tock of the kitchen clock, I manage to speak.
“And the other stuff?”
“It’s why I’m hiding out here; in plain sight, as it were. My digital trail has me bouncing around the globe until it’s sorted.”
“Will it get sorted?”
“Yes, it’s just going to take time. The diamonds bought me time, and there are some other assets I can liquidate to clear the debt. I have to hope that’s enough.”
“If you pay it all back, surely—”
“It doesn’t quite work like that,” he cuts in, and I hate the way my stomach drops at the unspoken threat I can see etching his face with genuine worry. He hides it well, just not well enough. “Anyway what about you? Why are you here? Why the fuck did that idiot let you go?”
“For my safety.” I scoff. “It’s funny how keeping me safe seems to result in breaking my fucking heart.” I let out a slow breath because my poor attempt at sarcasm felt a little too raw. Atticus pulls me closer, but not quite on his lap. He manoeuvres us both so his arms are wrapped around me, my back resting against his chest, his head heavy on my shoulder. His warm breath is a little too close to my ear, and I shudder with the first deep breath, mine or his, I’m not sure.
“Safe from what?”
“His psycho sister,”
“You know what? I don’t actually care. I care about you, but in this instance, it’s his loss. You’re here, and that makes me the luckiest man on the planet.”
“I love him, Atticus.” I can feel his muscles bunch around me with tension, and this close to his face, I can hear his teeth grind when he speaks.
“And if he loved you, he wouldn’t have let you go.”
“Pot-kettle, mister” I scoff.
“Touché.” He places a smiling kiss against my cheek. “Do you fancy a walk? Maybe go to the boathouse and—”
“Is there much damage?” I tilt my face to see his eyes glass with water.
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry Atticus.”
“If it was down to me I’d rebuild her, but it’s not my call anymore.”
“I guess not.” I’m trying not to let the enormity of it all bury me under the aftermath.
“Come on, princess, let’s have some fun.” He picks me up as he stands and spins me mid air only to catch me and let me slide painfully slowly down his firm, fit body.
“I think that might be a stretch even for you.” His body may be the perfect distraction and feel all kinds of sinfully good on the outside, but my heart is in tatters.
“Oh ye of little faith, did you forget how good I am at distracting you?” He waggles his brow playfully, and I place my hands on his chest and tell him.
“I wasn’t me that forgot.” I don’t mean for it to sound to harsh. Well, maybe I do.
“I did. I forgot us. I forgot it all, Tia.” He sounds so solemn, and the soul-sad regret clouding his eyes makes me look away. “I believed my mother, and for that, I will never forgive myself. I hope I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” His sincerity is as pure as the look he is laying on me. I step back to give myself the chance to breathe.
“One day at a time, Cass.”
“I can live with that.” He closes the distance, and I have to laugh; of course he wouldn’t give me space.
“Can you live with the fact that I also love another man?” I hold my ground, and he grins, takes may hand, and leads me to follow.
“Let’s walk.”
I can’t believe she’s here. I can’t believe she didn’t kick my arse out as soon as she realised this wasn’t all a dream. I had a momentary flash of guilt when I knew she wasn’t really with me last night. Her eyes were glazed, and it was pretty apparent she was worn weary with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her face has never looked so pale, red-rimmed eyes, lashes drenched with tears, and swollen lids. Her chest heaved, wracking her small body with uncontrollable sobs. The god-awful sound was tearing her apart and ripped my own damn heart in two. I stood at the door and wrestled with my conscience for no time at all before I had to go to her, hold her, ease the agony that was destroying her before my very eyes.
Fuck, her soft, salt-tinged lips felt so good as they quivered against mine. I couldn’t have stopped if I’d wanted to. Stopping was the last thing I wanted. I knew I could make her feel good, even if it was only going to be for one night. She needed the dream of us, to escape whatever nightmare she was trapped in, and I wanted to give her at least that much, because she deserved so much more.
I reach my hand back and out to her without expectation, and my heart halts w
ith hope for a fraction of time that feels like an eternity, until I feel her fingers thread with mine. The only sound is the gravel crunching beneath our feet and the birds in the trees above our heads as we walk up toward the main house in an all too familiar and welcome easy silence. The sun is midway in the sky and would be hidden by the high stone walls of Tartarus Hall if it wasn’t in a desolate state of rubble and ruin. We both shield our eyes from the bright rays, and I feel my stomach drop at the exact same time Tia gasps at the unearthly sight filling the horizon. Her feet are rooted where she stands, and I have to tug her to respond and continue up the drive. Each step is hesitant, unreal, and her wide eyes fill with tears, just as mine have done every time I look at what’s left of my home.
“Oh Cass!” She exhales, the magnitude of the devastation coating her tone with such sadness I feel it in my soul. My throat constricts when I reply, and I reel from the sudden surge of emotion. Seeing it through her eyes is like seeing it raw for the first time.
“Yeah,” I choke and grab for the comfort she immediately squeezes into my hand.
“There’s nothing left.” She stumbles forward, her steps gaining speed before her body is quite ready. I try to steady her, but she pulls away and races the last few hundred yards to the bottom of the main steps. She turns to face me, tears streaking her cheeks, and her tone is filled with utter disbelief. “I thought the building would’ve been okay. Its ancient stone, thick and sturdy. It’s survived two world wars for crissake.” She shakes her head and holds her face, incredulous and broken. “I mean, I know the oak panelling wouldn’t have survived the fire but this is a fucking castle, Cass.”
“If it was just a fire, you’d be right, but there were several explosions which took out the rest of the house. It’s not a complete write-off.”
“It isn’t?” Her hand is shaking when she sweeps it wide over the entire surroundings.
“It is bad, but the foundations are intact. The orangery around the back is pretty much okay, and look over there. The east wing and tower are mostly still standing.” I point and her eyes take in the scorched tower.
“Show me.”
“We can’t go up there; it’s not stable. I was waiting to speak to you to get the go-ahead to make it safe at least.”
“Cass, please do whatever you need to do. This is so awful. Your grandfather would be heartbroken.” She runs her hand under her nose, sniffing back the tears.
“Don’t you think he deserves to be heartbroken?”
“A little bit, yes. Honestly, I’m so tired of it all. The lies, the deceit, the time wasted.” She turns away from me and takes a few steps. Her shoulders shake with sadness, and her feet falter. Her voice floats over the debris. “I won’t ever understand why he did what he did. To me, if I was lucky enough to have a grandchild, I wouldn’t care what sex it was, I wouldn’t love it any less, or value it more because it had a dick. Oskar was of a generation, where it did matter; after all, he married someone for the sake of the company. It wasn’t the only thing he did I never understood.” She gives a dismissive shrug, letting the decisions of the past roll off her shoulders and lighten her gait as she picks her way through the remnants of my family home.
“He betrayed me too.” She nods with tender understanding softening her features. “I know it’s not a fraction of what he did to you, but he always told me I was like a son to him, yet he never told me the truth. He was the only one, outside of you, I ever trusted, and now I know it was all lies.” I suck in a deep breath and drop my head, run my fingers through my hair, and massage the tension tightening the muscles in my neck. I walk over to where Tia is standing, her toes lifting parts of kitchen furniture that are burnt and broken. She faces where the great fireplace has cracked and crumbled to the ground, a massive fissure having split the solid stone in two. One of the spaghetti straps of her summer dress has fallen off her shoulder, and with the tip of my finger, I move it back into place, relishing the slew of goosebumps my gentle touch leaves in its wake. Her skin is like silk, and it takes every ounce of restraint not to kiss her neck. She shudders when I step away, and despite the warm heat of the sun beating down on us, she wraps her arms around herself and shivers. I know I did that and it is enough, for now. “What my mother did actually came as no surprise, but what he did has affected me greatly.” I continue to kick my way through the rubble and try to explain the murky waters where my mind is currently wading. “I hate I never got the chance to tell him how wrong he was.”
“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” She lets out a half laugh and resigned sigh. I guess it doesn’t.
“So what happens now?”
“With?”
“With the Hall? With us, with Logan?” In no particular order even if the latter is irritatingly playing more on my mind.
“What happened to one day at a time?”
“Patience is not one of my virtues, princess.” I quirk my lips in an unapologetic smile.
“Remind me what your virtues are exactly?” She shakes her head and snickers.
“Cute, I’m sure I must have some. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
“We both know that’s not true.” I raise my brow nice and high at her wholly inaccurate statement. “I’m not going to push you, Tia. You’ve had a lot to deal with, and I will give you one day at a time. I just never said I would make it easy.”
“Is anything easy with you?”
“Oh I can think of one thing.” I flash my most wicked wide smile, and instead of chuckling at my shamelessness, she hesitates, folds her hands neatly and nervously together, and shuffles from one foot to the other.
“Cass, about that…” She swallows thickly and fixes me with a wide-eyed, serious stare. I brace because I know what’s coming. “Last night felt like a dream, and I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t enjoy it, needed it even, but it’s not happening again.”
“I understand.” Spot on, I nod and smile.
“You do? Honestly, I was expecting a little more resistance than that.”
“I said I understand. I didn’t say I agree.”
“Of course.” She rolls her eyes, and I step right up close to her body. She holds her ground. Her breath catches, and her pupils dilate enough to make my cock pay the utmost attention. It’s a kick that her body is so responsive and reacts the way it does, but I’d be an idiot to push this. This has to be in her time. And however unplanned this situation is, we seem to have all the time in the world and we’re finally together. The planets are aligned.
“Tia, you have a shit tonne of stuff to process, but the fact that you didn’t kick me out this morning means you do still trust me, and that’s probably more than I deserve.” My hand sweeps the dark strand that constantly falls over her face when it’s not tied back, and she follows my move, securing it with the rest of the sloppy knot of hair on top of her head.
“You were backed into a corner, Cass, I know that.” Her flash of a smile is genuine, and the sincerity in her gaze has me rooted to the spot. My breath mingles with hers we’re so close, and my fingers lose the battle to not touch her and then rest on her hips. My gaze flits between her mouth and her dark emerald eyes. “I believe you were deceived by the best, lied to by people who were supposed to love you, and despite that, you did still try and help when I was sent to prison. If we’d actually met back then, I don’t think any of this would’ve happened. You would’ve seen I was telling the truth, and you would’ve ended it. In my heart, I know that much is true. Whether either of us would’ve found out the real truth about my bloodline, I can’t say, but none of it matters now. It’s in the past and part of the whole me being utterly exhausted thing. I need time for me.”
She draws in a shaky breath and steps back, away from my touch, and I feel it like I’ve been sucker punched.
“You hurt me. Logan hurt me. Even though I understand why, it doesn’t sting any less. The only thing I’m certain of is this: I’m in no position to
make any decisions. You need to keep the company going, Cass. There are people’s jobs at stake, and you need to do whatever for Tartarus. I love this place as much as you, and it shouldn’t end its days like this, unloved and destroyed.” She jumps over the thigh-high wall that used to be the boot room entrance and starts to walk toward the rear rose gardens.
“Where are you going?” I call out.
“I don’t know. I need some time on my own.”
She turns and I have to shield my eyes to keep her in view. The blazing sunlight casts a blinding white halo of light around her, rendering her short summer skirt almost translucent. A light breeze picks up the hem, and the material dances until she snaps her hand to her side, protecting her modesty and making me grumble. “Don’t look so worried, you’ll still know where I am.” She lifts the necklace with the tracker I gave her all those weeks ago. Was it only weeks? If feels so much longer.
“I was going to ask, why are you still wearing it?”
“I don’t want to go back to jail, and—”
“I never pressed charges, Tia.” I make my confession. “I tricked you into believing I had that kind of sway with the police. I wanted you close.”
“To find your money.”
“I think you and I both know it had nothing to do with the money.”
“So I can take it off?” She threads her fingers along the chain, pulling it back and forth.
“You can.”
“See you later, Cass.” She releases the chain from her fingers and the lock glints in the sunlight settling once more against her neck. Spinning on her toes in a flourish of flying hemlines and sass she skips off into the horizon.
“I’ll be waiting.” I yell with cupped hands around my mouth to make sure she hears me, her quick steps making light work of the increasing distance between us.
I pick my way around the perimeter of the house, waving off Atticus and trying to come to terms with the utter devastation surrounding me.