by T. K. Leigh
Olivia looked around, noticing the place appeared to be relatively busy for a hotel bar. “It seems quite popular,” she remarked.
“It is. It’s a little gem on this island. So, table or bar?”
Olivia thought about that. Normally, she would opt for a few stools at the bar, but something about that evening made her want a little bit more privacy. She wanted to get to know Cam. She wanted to begin to open up to him. It was the only way she could start moving past Alexander. “Let’s sit at a table.”
Cam beamed his brilliant white smile as he led her past a piano player, placing his hand on the small of her back and walking her to a secluded table with tea candles lit. He held out the chair for her, and Olivia’s brain rewound several months to that first night with Alexander. How he walked her from the elevator to her office in order to retrieve her things. How his simple touch sent fireworks through her entire body. And how, when Cam repeated the same gesture, her nerves didn’t stand on end.
Within a matter of moments, a server came over to take their drink order and returned rather quickly. Points for quick service, Olivia thought. She took a rather large gulp of her Manhattan as her eyes met Cam's. The way he looked at her, Olivia felt a little something stirring in her body. He seemed genuinely happy to just be with her, to spend time with her. He had said that he didn’t care where their relationship led. There were no expectations, which made Olivia feel comfortable with him when, normally, she wouldn’t want to open up to anyone.
“My parents died in a car accident when I was six,” she said out of nowhere, breaking the deafening silence.
Cam placed his beer on the table, shocked at Olivia’s sudden decision to share information about her past. “I’m sorry, Libby. That’s awful.”
She shrugged. “Yeah. I still dream about the crash nearly every night. I don’t really remember my parents all that much. After they died, I was shipped off to a private boarding school in Charleston. I stayed there until I went away to college. I had an uncle who was my guardian, but we weren’t really all that close so I pretty much had to raise myself.”
“Hmmm,” Cam said, thinking about her story. “I get it now.”
“What? What do you get?” Olivia asked, raising her voice slightly.
“Just why you seem so closed off. You didn’t have a parental figure in your life after your parents died. That could have stunted your emotional growth. It’s common. You see it all the time, especially after such a tragedy.”
“Wait a minute,” she snapped, holding out her hand. “How do you know all that shit?”
“I’m a psychiatrist when I’m not chasing a certain beautiful woman around the island, trying to get her to talk to me.” He winked. “But, please don’t hold that against me, Libby. I beg you,” he pleaded with her, seeing her demeanor change from one of calmness to one of anger. “I didn’t want to scare you off. I knew you were going through something and I was so worried that if I told you what I do for a living, you would bolt. I just couldn’t stand the thought of that.”
Olivia pushed her chair back, contemplating doing what she always did. She wanted to run as far away as she could.
“Don’t run, Libby. Please. I couldn’t bear the thought of you running again because of me. I want to give you some stability in your life.” He ran his hand through his hair, reminding her of Alexander yet again. “Yesterday, when you finally agreed to come to dinner with me, I couldn’t relax the rest of the day. I was so fucking excited to be able to spend some time with you.”
He reached across the table, grabbing both her hands, lowering his voice to just above a whisper. “When you opened the door, my heart fucking stopped, Libby. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I have a feeling you always will be. I like you. A lot. You’re the first thing I think about every morning. You have been since I first set eyes on you. I fall asleep with a smile on my face every night because, with nightfall, I’m that much closer to seeing you again the following morning. And I’m both scared and confused as to why and how I feel this way about a woman I barely fucking know. But, please, let me get to know you. Let me in. That’s all I ask.”
Olivia sat there, her heart racing as she listened to Cam's heartfelt plea. She knew she couldn’t keep running her entire life, but that’s all she had known up until that point. When things became too complicated or scary, she ran. She was tempted to run again, but the more she thought about it, the more she knew it wasn’t going to solve anything. She would end up in a new town or city where she would inevitably meet someone else, and she’d find herself in the same position all over again. No. For once, she wasn't going to run.
She took a deep breath and turned her eyes up to look at Cam. “Okay. I’ll stay.”
“Good,” Cam said, smiling. “Are you okay, though? And not with what I just told you. I’m worried about you, Libby,” he remarked, sincerity etched across his face. “Are you okay? I mean, really okay?”
Olivia looked out the window, her chin quivering as she gazed at the moonlit beach, honeymooning couples holding hands and strolling along the white sand paths.
“Hey, Libby,” Cam said, bringing her attention back to him. “It’s okay to admit that you’re not okay, but you need to at least realize that something is making you sad or upset or angry. Too many people walk around saying that everything’s fine when, in all reality, things aren’t fine. Sometimes we’re bruised, beaten, shattered, or destroyed. I just hope you’re not, but if you are, let me be the one to fix you. I’m not talking to you as someone who happens to be a therapist. I’m talking to you as someone who is so incredibly attracted to you that it hurts sometimes.”
A tear fell down Olivia’s cheek. “I’m not okay, Cam, but I want to be. Hopefully the more time that goes by, the more okay I’ll be.” She stood up. “I’m just going to go powder my nose. I’ll be right back.”
Cam eyed her suspiciously. “You’re not running, are you?”
Olivia took a deep breath. “No, Cam. For the first time in my life, I’m not going to run. I can’t run from things that scare me for the rest of my life so I may as well turn over a new leaf.”
Standing up, he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his body. “Is this okay?” he asked quietly, a bit of huskiness in his voice.
Olivia gazed into his eyes and, unable to find her own voice, simply nodded.
He leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. “Is this okay?” he asked, his lips still pressed lightly against hers.
She nodded again and could feel his mouth turn into a huge smile.
“Good because I can’t seem to get enough of your lips.” He pressed another gentle kiss on them before sending her on her way to the ladies’ room.
When she returned, their evening continued on a much lighter note, both sharing stories from their childhood.
“So, where in South Carolina did you grow up?” Olivia asked after they ordered their third round of drinks. The liquor helped her open up a bit, and Cam seemed to enjoy learning about her.
“Myrtle Beach, actually. And the answer is no, I absolutely do not golf,” he joked.
“That’s too bad,” she responded, placing her martini glass on the table. “I was just thinking how hot you’d look in some plaid pants.” She giggled.
It took Cam's breath away. “That’s quickly becoming one of my favorite sounds.”
Suddenly, it felt as if the floor fell out from under her. It was the second time in two days that Cam said something that reminded her of Alexander. She rewound back to that day she bumped into him running through Boston Common. He had told her the same thing.
“Libby, where did you go?” Cam asked, interrupting her memories. He looked at Olivia, her face paler than he had ever seen it before. He was concerned about the girl who sat in front of him. There was something, or someone, that she was running from, and certain words seemed to be triggers of very painful memories.
“You know what, Cam?” Olivia said before
draining her glass. He quickly signaled the server to bring her another. “It’s not the bad memories that hurt,” she quivered. “It’s the good ones that cause the most pain. Those are the memories that stay with you, making you smile. Then you realize that the source of those memories is gone and you’ll never have that feeling again.” She took a deep breath, her voice barely a whisper. “And that is what is most painful.”
Cam grabbed Olivia’s hand, gently brushing her knuckles. “Lucky guess, but we’re not talking about your parents here, are we? It’s something, or someone, that you ran from up in Boston, isn’t it?”
She opened her mouth, unsure of whether she could speak the words about what happened between her and Alexander.
He held his hand up to stop her. “I told you. I’m not going to pressure you to talk about anything you don’t want to. Let’s stop talking about all this heavy stuff and just enjoy each other’s company. I’m so sorry for whatever I said that would cause you any pain. That’s the last thing I want to do.”
The server dropped off another Manhattan and Olivia began to feel rather tipsy. She felt that familiar tingle and electricity, wondering whether it was simply the effects of the liquor. Whatever the reason, she didn’t care. Her body shuddered as Cam picked up her hand, softly kissing her knuckles. She was feeling something.
CHAPTER NINE
FIVE LITTLE WORDS
THAT FUCKING BASTARD! ALEXANDER thought as he sat at the far corner of the bar, his eyes trained on the table near the windows. He couldn’t believe that she was at his hotel, at the bar where he was drinking. What were the chances? And there he was, comforting her when she got upset and kissing her perfect fucking skin. It was taking all of his self-control to not walk over there and cause a scene.
No. Now was not the right time. He had been drunk nearly all day, and he was certain that nothing he could say to her at that moment would be swoon-worthy. And that’s what he needed.
He signaled the bartender to pour him another scotch as he sat there staring at Olivia. His Olivia. He was concerned about her drinking, but that was like the pot calling the kettle black. But four Manhattans? Really?
He couldn’t understand why he kept freezing up when she was nearby…on the beach earlier, now at the bar. He was unable to tell his legs to put one in front of the other and walk over there. Maybe his brain was trying to tell him something.
He watched as the guy sitting across from her caressed her skin, signaling their server for the check. Then she giggled and Alexander lost it. How could someone else be making her happy? That was his fucking job! Throwing several bills on the bar, he downed his scotch and walked out. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he needed to get away from there.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Ready to go, beautiful?” Cam asked, extending his arm and helping Olivia up from her chair. She wavered slightly, the multiple strong drinks affecting her balance. “Easy there, Libby. You drank a bit tonight.”
Olivia smiled. “I definitely did,” she slurred, clutching onto Cam's arm. “I’m shmammered.” She wished she hadn’t ordered so many Manhattans. Cam was smart, ordering only beer. She should have stuck to beer because she was fairly drunk right now. And when she was drunk, she made awful decisions.
“Shmammered? What’s that?” he asked, smiling at her.
“Kind of like a combination of smashed and hammered,” she giggled as Cam led her out to the lobby, snaking his arm around her waist to help steady her. His body felt so warm against hers. She enjoyed the closeness that she was beginning to feel with him.
“Shit!” she exclaimed just as they reached the front doors to the hotel. “I left my clutch in there.”
“I’ll go get it,” Cam said quickly.
“No. I’ll get it. I need to use the ladies’ room anyway.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
She smiled as she placed her hand on his chest. “I love that you worry about me,” she whispered against his neck.
Her breath smelled sweet, a combination of the alcohol and just her. She planted a quick kiss on Cam's neck before turning around to head back into the bar. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”
Cam chuckled as he watched her walk away, her hips swaying in such a way that made his entire being harden. “Okay, gorgeous. But if you’re not back in five minutes, I’ll send out a search party.”
Olivia turned her head around and winked as she walked back into the bar, searching for her clutch.
~~~~~~~~~~
After leaving the restaurant bar and roaming around for a while, Alexander walked into the lobby bar. He was less than impressed with their scotch selection, but he desperately wanted another drink, needing to forget about seeing Olivia with another man. It drove him crazy to even think about it.
He decided that one more scotch was in order so he returned to the restaurant bar he had just left, still feeling the unbearable pain. He wanted something to numb it all. Placing his order with the bartender, he glanced over at the empty table where Olivia had been sitting. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small purple clutch lying on the floor under the chair.
He took a deep breath before walking over there with the purpose of turning it over to the bartender so that no one stole anything out of it. After bending down to grab the small wristlet, his heart stopped as he stared into those big brown eyes again.
Olivia wavered a bit, obviously drunk from all the liquor he had watched her consume that evening. He noticed a small tear escape her eye and her chin quivered. The atmosphere immediately changed from one of hurt to one of hope. He could see it in her eyes. There was still hope for him.
He held out the clutch. “You left this. I didn’t want anyone to steal it,” he said quietly.
Olivia didn't know what to think. That morning, she had a feeling that Alexander was on the island. And now there he was, standing in front of her, handing her clutch to her. Knots began to form in the pit of her stomach. Leaving him was so easy when she didn’t have to look into those green eyes. She took the coward’s way out, writing him a letter saying good-bye. But now that she was face-to-face with him, could she really tell him that she didn’t want to be with him?
Slowly, she reached her hand out to grab the clutch, Alexander’s fingers softly brushing hers. Inhaling quickly, she dropped her eyes to his fingers delicately caressing her hand. It was such a simple gesture, but the fireworks erupting within her body sent shivers throughout.
“You still feel that?” Alexander asked sadly, noticing her reaction.
Olivia looked into his eyes again, opening her mouth, willing her brain to say something. Anything. But she couldn’t. A lump formed in her throat and she knew that she made a mistake leaving Alexander and Boston. Then his words echoed in her head. “You always try to stay strong, ignoring the past, but you can’t keep it all inside, love. It will destroy you. It will destroy me, too.”
It was selfish of her to string Alexander along, knowing full well that the baggage she carried was too much for him to deal with. That’s how this all began. Those five little words… It will destroy me, too. Olivia knew they were true. And what she did no longer seemed selfish. It was selfless. She was saving Alexander from the inevitable pain of her path of destruction.
“I…I can’t do this, Alexander. I have to go,” she cried, turning abruptly and running out of the bar, leaving him alone.
“Olivia, love,” he called after her, trying to catch up. He saw her bolt out the front door of the hotel into a silver Lexus convertible. “Damn it!” he shouted as the car drove off, but not before she turned her head around, meeting his eyes one last time.
Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his cell phone, punching a button. “Martin,” he growled, his speech slurred. “Go over there and keep watch for me. Alert me if there’s any movement.” He hung up before retreating back to the restaurant. He downed the scotch on the bar and retired to his suite for the evening. Tomorrow was anoth
er day, and he wouldn’t start drinking at noon.
CHAPTER TEN
FEEL AGAIN
“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE okay, Libby?” Cam asked as he drove down the tree-lined streets on the south end of the island. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Taking in her appearance, he wondered if maybe she had gotten sick in the ladies’ room. Her eyes were red and her face was pale. The playful Olivia was nowhere to be found. He grabbed her hand after shifting into fourth. “Come on, Libby. Don’t shut me out. We were making so much progress.”
Olivia tilted her head toward him. “I’m sorry,” she replied dryly. She was desperate to get the evening out of her head. It had started out so nice. Earlier, she actually felt something she hadn’t in so very long…hope. Hope that she could survive life after Alexander, and then he had to go and show up at her little oasis.
After a silent car ride that felt as if it had lasted hours instead of mere minutes, Cam pulled up outside of Olivia’s beach cottage. She didn’t even wait for him to open the door for her. She bolted out of the car, anxious to forget the whole night.
“Libby, wait. Please,” Cam begged, catching up to her as she fumbled with her keys, frantically trying to unlock her front door with shaky hands. “Please,” he repeated, grabbing the keys out of her trembling fingers. “Let me fix this.” He trailed his hand down her arm, trying to calm her down.
Olivia turned around and met his eyes as he unlocked the door. “There. All better,” he said quietly, gently pushing the door open.
“Would you like to come in?” she asked, her voice soft. She wanted to forget about seeing Alexander, and she needed Cam to do that.
Running his hand through his hair, a look of hesitation spread across his face.
“Please, Cam. I just don’t want to be alone right now,” she begged, her eyes brimming with tears.