The next day I reached the beautiful venue and saw two extremely pretty girls and one guy who was looking like a dream. “Ahmed! Will be here anytime, let me give you guys a quick touchup if needed “. He had his team of three there. Soon the photoshoot started and it was my first ever but Ahmed was extremely patient and guided me well. I was walking around the most iconic streets of Milan getting myself clicked by one of the most popular photographers in the world. While we were posing for the camera, the crowd used to stop & stare at us, clicking pictures from their phones at times. I felt like a celebrity! and it was one of the most empowering experiences. By the end of the shoot, I was chirping like a bird & giggling like a baby. I felt a rush of confidence like never before. I was happy in my own skin and at peace with everything which got me there. I thanked Ahmed and the pictures he clicked of me were fantabulous. They were the photographs I would keep closest to my heart as it was from the day I learnt what self-love meant.
My renewed energy helped me at the university as well! I participated in many class presentations and discussions and had a lot of fun with my classmates. Most of my batchmates from Mumbai had taken other subjects and I was the only one who took IT-focused courses which meant that for these four months I was away from their dirty games. I studied on weekdays and explored the city on weekends. Failed every time I tried to buy cottage cheese and bought something which after unwrapping was not even a percent close. I had learnt to cook a few Italian dishes & some Indian comfort food by now and created for myself amazing dishes each day. At times I went out with my project mates to a few nearby cafes and tried some exotic pastries. They tasted like eternal bliss. I finally started to become my usual self with Ankit over the phone. I gradually understood his situation & his state of mind. “I have a surprise for you! Look inside the first enclosure of your red check-in bag”, he said one day over a video call. There was an envelope which had a cash voucher for a legendary coffee outlet. “I bought this for you a year back when I was there, wanted to give you an experience as a gift”, he added. “Why did you hide it?”, I asked excitedly. “I had planned to disclose it when I wanted to give you a surprise, but couldn’t be there”. My heart melted and we cried together. “I know it was your childhood dream to go to Paris and visit The Eiffel, I had booked those tickets as well, but I promise I will take you there soon”, he said while he tried to contain his emotions. “I will be back in two months now”, I smiled.
It was November 2019, the rains had turned Milan into a lover’s paradise. I adored the evening walks and the sound of the violin by the performers, I was lucky to experience the magic every day on my way to the university. They now recognized me and we waved at each other each time I passed by. On one such evening after classes, I was excited to listen to the song they would play when I saw a guest talk happening at our university. Students were attending it in numbers and I saw the auditorium was packed & the session had begun five minutes ago. I sneaked in from the back. The speaker was an Indian origin French citizen and spoke about strategy for players in the field of financial services. He was witty, humorous and extremely knowledgeable. It was a great session! By the time it ended, it was 8 pm and I was feeling reluctant to cook that day, I always saw a beautiful gourmet restaurant nearby whenever I took a stroll around the university and decided to give it a try.It was at the other side of the campus and I had to walk all the way till there, by the time I reached they were already full and they asked me to wait for 15 minutes. Ah! I had made a long way and decided to be patient. “Hey! You have a habit of being late everywhere I guess!”, It was our guest speaker from today. “Today is just a coincidence, usually this doesn’t happen”, I smiled. “Join me for dinner then!”, he asked. I was stunned. “Just a friendly dinner, don’t worry!”, he laughed. We had to ourselves one of their prettiest tables. We both were naturals and conversation soon turned sparkling. He said something playful and I reciprocated it, just to keep the fun in our conversation alive. “Seriously, is this how you flirt?”, he laughed. Reality struck upon me. This was something Aman had said to me when we had first gone out together to an Italian restaurant in Bengaluru. I looked around and the ambience was strikingly similar to the one we were at years ago. I was responding to his words just like I did earlier, I was searching for Aman in him.
I quickly concluded our chat and thanked him for his time. “Hey! it’s quite late, I insist that I walk you home, it’s not worth the risk”, he said. He wasn’t wrong it was 11:30 pm. While we were on the way to my apartment, he kept telling me many of his stories and I had a smile and a timely nod on. In my head I was getting a really bad feeling, I felt something wasn’t right with Aman. “Yeah! This is me. Thank you so much for your precious evening”, I smiled anxiously. “It was my pleasure! I am heading to Singapore tomorrow for a few months, work you see! But I wish you a happy journey to India and here’s my card, stay in touch and let me know if you happen to be in France anytime. Take care”, I realized his chauffeur was following us all this time in his black sleek car. “Really?”, I laughed. He turned around and smiled and waved me goodbye as he left. I reached my apartment, placed his card safely in my wallet & called Aman. He picked up and my intuition was right. He wasn’t doing okay. He was drunk, at an unknown pub in San Francisco, complaining about his professional life & in between his love life. I didn’t keep the phone until he booked a cab and reached his apartment. After I ended the call, I realized that listening to his painful voice had made my eyes teary too. I sent him a long text about how he should never indulge in such things again, for him to see when he got up the next day. I took a shower and came to bed. It occurred to me that I didn’t even know the name of the person I had just had dinner with. I rushed to fetch my wallet - Vikram Malhotra, he was the CEO of one of the world’s largest financial services companies. I was astonished just when I discovered his connection request on the professional network. We had found an unusual friendship.
December was all about exams & final presentations. The grades came out in a few days and my Milan semester score was the best of all the others I had achieved during my MBA. I was overjoyed! I went around meeting our professors, buying university souvenirs, clicking pictures & giving away boxes of holiday chocolates. I went where the violinists always performed, to wish them happy holidays! We exchanged numbers to keep in touch. I bought some amazing makeup and made a goody bag for Rosa to give it to her tomorrow before I left for India. While I was packing all my things and the gifts I had purchased for my parents & Ankit, I wondered how these four months had drastically made me aware of my own self. That night I decided to go to the same Michelin star restaurant I visited on my 26th birthday, it was my last night in Milan, the place which faded all my scars. I ordered the same dish I had ordered earlier. It was perfect. *Hey! Let’s plan to meet soon, I am visiting Mumbai next month * - texted Aman.
Yes, I used to be confused about my feelings for him, but now I was at peace with it. I now knew that love had many types, the one we feel for our parents, the one we feel for our siblings, the one we feel for our friends and then comes the one we feel for our lover. Aman was all about what my heart yearned for but my love for him had the craziness to overpower my brain and maybe in future make decisions he would want me to despite considering what I wanted for myself. He was a free like a wind, sure that freedom made me feel alive but at the same time, it scared me from taking a leap & giving it my all. Ankit bought stability in my life, he supported my decisions and mended my heart, my love for him was all about my love for the ultimate balance between the heart & the mind. But now I had realized the greatest love of all was loving your own actions & respecting your own soul.
I had survived what seemed impossible to me four months ago. Yes, I had all the amenities around me but in my mind, I felt like a lonely astronaut who had to fight an emotional battle to keep her body & spirit together. I knew my strengths, I knew that if something goes wrong tomorrow I’ll find a way to make it right again. As I boarded my flight t
o Delhi, it was time to see if I would be able to make a strong comeback & reach the same height or higher than I had reached earlier in the corporate world after under graduation. It was placement season next month and it was something I could not afford to risk, it was time I thought about justifying all the efforts I had put on myself. I texted Aman that I wouldn’t be able to make it in January. The aircraft took off and so did my dreams, I felt optimistic. This time there was no toddler behind my seat.
10
It was the first week of January 2020, we had reached the ultimate battlefield of our two-year MBA journey - the final placements. The list of companies which had planned to recruit this year wasn’t disclosed to us and so whenever a well-known multinational firm circulated their application, almost everyone applied. A consumer-packaged-goods giant was the first one to come to our campus that year and everyone had applied. After a really difficult online test, they had shortlisted 15 students for further rounds. Post the group interviews only 7 made it to the final interview, one of them was me. I was the second last in the sequence. When it was my turn to go for the personal interview I sensed something fishy, a popular placecom member Kshitij Pravin who everyone thought to be comparably the most ethical one in the committee was sitting suspiciously with 4 of those students and they all had a relaxed smiling face. I went for the interview and it went okay - I didn’t make any mistake, I kept a calm attitude & my resume was the most experienced as I had worked really hard on it since the past two years. Minutes later the results were announced and those 4 who were already sitting separately were the ones who had got through.
In those four, one was another placecom member who had done everything except studying in these two years and three others were those who had buttered up Kshitij significantly over a few months. Apparently, Kshitij had successfully managed to influence the recruiter to choose these people over experienced candidates by telling them that the university had other companies coming up for us. This news had spread throughout the college. Kshitij had also got his own job by manipulating the final process during internship placements when he used his network to get someone senior from that company mail the recruiter to choose him. His plan did work and he did get that internship, but he replaced an ethically chosen candidate. Later that company ended up having a lot of openings and offered everyone who interned with them a job. Knowing this story, I didn’t expect Kshitij to have any values during the biggest war either. But thankfully karma played a big role this time and even though he had successfully concealed his immorality during internship placements this time it had come out in public. As a result, Nirav sir, our career development services head decided to oversee recruitment activities himself.
The next company to come on campus was a well-known technology strategy consulting firm. It was hands down my dream job, for which I had been speaking forever since MBA started. I was scared that this time as well someone from the placement committee would successfully sabotage the entire process. I just prayed to god to do the right thing that day and reached the campus for my interview. It was a relief to see only Nirav sir along with his team managing the process entirely that day without involving any student. I saw that Chaitra & Umesh were trying hard to convince Nirav sir to let them help him, but he didn’t give them the charge and asked everyone who wasn’t shortlisted to leave the premises. I could see it from his eyes that he was deeply disappointed with what had happened with the first company & it wasn’t his fault. Most of the senior student committee members we had, didn’t choose the right people for the job and even after knowing the corrupt practices, motivated them indirectly towards that direction further, from where they all had gained the affinity to indulge in malpractices constantly. This time as they were not there, was now or never for me. The selection process commenced and three hours later I had my dream job in my hand. Nirav sir was elated. Chaitra, Umesh, Kshitij & others who had done all they could do to pull me down in these two years were devastated. As I came out of the meeting room, I saw many students of my batch who never took my side, waiting outside. A loud applause echoed. Everyone started to congratulate me and hug me. Ravish from our club had shame in his eyes. I was calm as I was thinking about how starkly the attitude of people towards a person changes when that person becomes a winner.
That day was 17th January 2020, the same day on which I had got my first job at CVIT University, Vellore. I was reborn & this time I was taller. I called all those people who had been with me through my highs & lows - my parents & Ankit. We were finally contented but I guess I had become so habitual to hardships that I wasn’t being able to accept this success. Over the next few months, we saw that with 180 juniors coming on campus the business technology club had become the highest member club with 110 students. I successfully completed my degree and was among the top scorers. Ankit had progressed in his career as well. I moved to Bengaluru again and this time everything was different. I rented a flat in one of the most sought-after localities, my colleagues at work were extremely bright & focused, the environment was nurturing & I finally found a place where I had real mentors. Although the senior girl who had tried to drift me & Ankit apart also worked there, I had moved on, way ahead in my life and just kept a cordial professional relationship. On weekends I ended up going to the same places I used to hang out at and couldn’t help but think of Pankaj, who never came back in my life to be my friend since the day he had left & I was happy if that had worked out for him. Aman didn’t return to India and was still in the US working on expanding his startup.
The next few years were really important for my career as well and hence I worked diligently each day at work. “Mam, someone is here to see you downstairs”, said one of the office administrators. I was baffled! Who could it be? I immediately went downstairs, it was Ankit with a bouquet of roses. “Let’s have dinner together!”, I was delighted to see him in Bengaluru. He had rented a car and drove us to one of the most popular five-star hotels in the city. We went to their rooftop lounge & he ordered a bottle of champagne. “So, tell me! What’s the good news?”, I asked. “Oh! You’re going to be so happy today! I got an amazing job in Canada and I am moving there…”, he replied. “What?”, I was in shock. “Yes, I am moving there with you next month. Shivangi Trivedi will you be my wife?”, he took out a beautiful diamond ring. Everyone at the restaurant clapped. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to move to Canada, I had my job here which was going extremely well. But when so many eyes are staring at you, waiting eagerly for you to accept the proposal any minute, you do what is expected. “Ankit, I’ll have to think about Canada. I like my job here”, I said after the things settled down a bit. “Talk to your boss, he might assign you a project there. But I am not going without you, I don’t trust your exes”, he laughed. “Whatever it is! Everything has to be done in a month, that’s why I am going to meet my parents and tell them my plan today itself. Umm! Let’s make our parents meet each other at my place in Hyderabad next week “. After dinner, he dropped me home & left for Hyderabad immediately.
That night I made myself a cup of coffee and thought about what I really wanted in life. * Hi! Did you study in Kashmir in the year 2006? * - I got a message on my social media account. I looked up the profile of the guy as his name sounded familiar when it struck me like a thunderbolt that he was my first best friend, Harman Bandhral! I asked him about his life, how he found me after 14 years and ultimately the answer to why did he stop speaking with me that time? All in one go. *I am an architect now. I have been searching for you, for years! I didn’t remember your surname correctly so saw each and every profile there was, with your first name. That time I was a focused kid, remember I was the class monitor along with you? When you told me that you were going to Jaipur, I started to struggle with my emotions & decided to keep all my attention on studies hence I stopped speaking with you. But I regretted doing that just a few days after you left and since I got on social media in 2012, I have been searching for you to apologize for it. I was your best friend, I s
houldn’t have done that*, he texted. *Oh my God! I did search for you once in 2011, after engineering entrance exams but didn’t find you and I didn’t try again*, there was no response after I texted that. *Well! It was great to hear from you! *, I added as I summed up our conversation. I had a major realization that day. What if I lose Ankit because I am a focused kid just like Harman? and just like him end up repenting for it? I decided that I wanted to strike a balance in my life.
The next day I went to my boss Mr. Vedant Sehgal, to ask him if I could be assigned a project in Canada and thanks to my luck that day, they did have an amazing project just starting there! I called my parents to tell them everything & invited them to come with me to Hyderabad. For days ahead, I was in my own euphoria, in my mind all my problems had been solved. Our parents met, the wedding ceremonies were to start in a week. All our time was now going in shopping & making wedding arrangements. We called our extended families as well and it was planned to be nothing less than the famous great Indian wedding. Ankit’s family was really into following a lot of Indian rituals and we had to sit through long prayer meets, addressed by their family priest almost every day now. We exchanged rings formally, had a musical party with all our family & friends dancing hilariously and as I wasn’t a big fan of Henna, I went for just a namesake design on my palm. The next day was 25th November 2020 my much-awaited wedding day and the ceremony was to start at 9:00 am.
Through Lemons & Peaches Page 10