by Quinn, Taryn
Maybe I was more like my mother than I’d realized. Both of us cleaving to men we barely knew.
Emotionally needy, anyone?
We finally gave our names to the maître’d and my mother and new daddy tagged along with us to our table. It was a secluded one for two by the window, but my mother and Burke pulled over chairs.
“We won’t interrupt for long, we promise. We’re just going to have a quick bite and head back up to our suite.” My mom giggled and patted Burke’s thigh. “Honeymoon period, you know?” Before I could reply to that, she smiled at me and Murphy. “I have to say I’m glad to see you dating again. I’ve been so worried about you, VeeBee, since that last boyfriend left you sobbing on the couch with repeats of The Notebook.”
I rolled my eyes. “So worried you sent a postcard to tell me you were married? And that ‘last boyfriend’ was when I was twenty-two. Years ago.”
“Is it my fault you don’t tell me much about your personal life?” She motioned to the waitress at the next table. “I’d love a wine spritzer, please. Sorry to bother you.”
“Sure thing. Here’s some menus while I’m at it.” She passed them around and apologized for how busy it was in the restaurant tonight, then took our drink orders.
She’d no sooner left that Sage strolled over to the table, looking absolutely gorgeous in a coral top and short black skirt. “Hi, Moose. Hi, Vee. It’s a zoo tonight.”
“A lot of business is a good thing, right?” Murphy smiled at her and motioned to my parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Newman, this is our friend Sage Hamilton. She owns this bed and breakfast with her husband. Sage, this is—these are Veronica’s parents. I mean, this is her mother, and her mother’s new husband.” Murphy cleared his throat.
“Oh, yes, we met Sage when we checked in. Such a sweet girl.” My mom beamed with more warmth at Sage than she’d smiled at me.
Or maybe that was jealousy talking again. Maybe I was going through PMS. Or JIMS?
A jealousy-induced mental spiral.
“Yes, it was great to meet you, Mrs. Newman. I didn’t realize you were Vee’s mom though.”
“Indeed. This is my baby girl.” My mom poked my shoulder in case I’d forgotten our familial link. “So, you two girls are friends? Are you BFFs? It seems like you should be. Although you have a baby, don’t you, Sage? Along with that sexy husband.” She laughed and glanced at her own spouse. “Not as sexy as my Burke though.”
“I do have a baby and a sexy husband, and yes, Vee and I are friends.” Sage smiled so warmly at me that I felt guilty for my uncharitable thoughts.
They’d partially dissipated in her direction anyway, since they’d rerouted to my mother.
For fuck’s sake, this night was supposed to be for me and Murphy. Not to serve as an opportunity for my mom to recount everything Sage had that I did not.
My mom who hadn’t even bothered to make me her first stop in town when she was visiting.
Why would she?
Flashing a huge smile, my mother chose that moment to regale us all with how she’d met Burke in a tiki bar in some country, the name of which I’d missed.
She even felt it necessary to share how they’d “consummated” their love on the beach.
By then, Sage’s eyebrows were reaching for her elevated blond ponytail and the stymied waitress had come over twice to take our orders before hurriedly scurrying away when she was denied.
Murphy just kept sipping his ice water. His ears weren’t even red. I had to think he’d probably gone to his safe place inside his head.
For me, there were no safe places left.
It wasn’t a surprise when Sage apologized about needing to go because our friend was having a baby and she really, really, really had to visit her in the hospital. I’d known she was close friends with Kelsey, but not Rylee as much. Though to be honest, she probably would’ve said she needed to line up for a firing squad rather than hearing personal details from my mother.
Such as tidbits about her recent wax job, and how’d she gone totally bare for the very first time.
And it had changed her life.
Just as mine was changed from this dinner conversation and enduring it with poor Murphy sitting across from me.
God help us all.
On the bright side, once Sage left, my mom actually seemed to settle down and let Burke talk.
Make that talk a little. Not enough to say much more than his line of work and that he enjoyed a spirited round of golf.
Or perhaps she settled down due to a food coma from the huge order she made that Murphy insisted on paying for as a wedding gift.
God, he was so sweet, but I’d be making him cookies by the truckful for months to make up for his generosity. Our whole night had been shanghaied and now he was paying for the privilege.
At least dinner was delicious. I’d gone for a shrimp and rice dish, while Murphy and Burke had opted for steak. My mother ordered three wine spritzers and a fisherman’s platter big enough to sink the table.
At least she seemed more understanding after the third wine spritzer, so when she brought up that “joke” I’d told about how I met Murphy, her eyeballs didn’t pop out and roll around the floor as I nodded cheerfully.
“Yes. I put up a post on Facebook, looking for a man to inseminate me without a relationship.”
Burke coughed and my mother thumped him on the back. “Why would you want a baby though? Isn’t the whole point of a hookup hoping you won’t get pregnant?”
Murphy dabbed his mouth with his napkin, his expression saying all I needed to know.
Want me to handle this? I will.
I’d never had someone who had my back before. It made my chest feel too tight and the ache I’d carried in my throat since laying eyes on my mother vanish. I didn’t need him to defend me or my choices, but knowing he was there if I needed him made all the difference.
“I wasn’t looking for a hookup, Mother. If I wanted one of those, they’re easy enough to find. I want something more out of life.”
“By shackling yourself with a child so another man might not want to get chained down with you and your offspring?” She glanced at Murphy. “Is this just about a good time for you, son? Because I can’t claim to understand how this benefits you.”
Murphy sat back in his seat. “Veronica is very important to me. It’s not about benefiting me. She thought this plan through and when we begin to try to have one, I have no doubt we’ll figure out our way through it as we’ve figured out our way through the rest.”
“A-ha! So, you’re actually dating, not just trying to have a kid. That makes more sense. It’s an ingenious way to snag a family-minded man, VeeBee.” She patted her updo. “I have to give you props.”
Props? Lord save me.
“I’m not trying to snag Murphy. I would never set up a scheme to do that. I’m not you, Mother. You’re the one who gave me tips on meeting rich men when I was thirteen.”
She let out a tinkly little laugh. “What’s wrong with wanting your daughter to aim herself toward a successful man? By the way, Murphy, what is it you do again?”
“He’s a carpenter. I’m supporting him with my baker’s salary. And when we have our brood of illegitimate babies, we’ll probably have to put up posts on Facebook asking for hand-me-downs. Will you please excuse me?”
Before anyone could stop me, I slipped away from the table and booked for the door.
Let no one say I couldn’t make an exit.
Sixteen
Cabin Fortress: You suck.
Okay, he didn’t really say that to me. At least not that I knew of, because I didn’t even have my purse. Or my phone.
Nothing but my tattered pride and hot tears of shame.
Leaving this way was the ultimate act of cowardice. But I just couldn’t deal. And with the way my emotions were spiraling all over the place, it was probably better for my mother and Burke that I’d taken off.
And Murphy. Jesus, would he ever want to speak to me again?
I’d fled and left him to handle all…that.
Blindly, I pushed my way through the guests in the foyer and through the doors. Stepping out on the porch into the now chilly October night stole my breath. I stumbled down the steps, dodging other patrons, my destination fuzzy and indistinct. All I knew was I needed to get away from the restaurant and I wished like fuck I’d worn a jacket tonight. This wrap dress was not going to cut it when it couldn’t have been more than forty-five outside. Served me right for being fooled by our temporary fall warmup.
Then again, annoyance and anger and personal disgust worked well at keeping the chill at bay.
As I charged up the street, I realized the breeze didn’t make me cold. It gave my irritation fuel. Like I was righteously indignant and there was even a wind machine to blow back my hair just like in the movies.
Booyah.
I detoured off the sidewalk to the long pier that stretched toward the lake. Jabs of guilt assailed me with every step, but I kept moving because I had no choice. If I stopped, I’d go back, and I really didn’t think I could handle any more of my mother tonight.
It wasn’t even all her fault. Sure, she said and did inappropriate things, but worst of all, she didn’t behave the way I’d always believed a mother should. She’d left me chasing after her for far too much of my life.
I stopped at the end of the pier and faced the miles of dark rippling water, my heart in my throat. Was it any wonder I hadn’t wanted to chase after a happy relationship too? I’d just tried to find a practical, non-emotional way to build a family for myself without wishing or hoping for any of the intangibles.
Like, oh, love.
Or romance.
Or maybe finding a best friend who also happened to turn me on and make me laugh and make me crazy in all the best ways.
Like Murphy. Murphy was already so important to me, and that scared the fuck out of me. Because even without the baby goal between us, I enjoyed his company far too much. And that meant he had power over me.
The power to change my plans. The power to leave. The power to claim to send a postcard that never arrived and break my heart with a smile.
“Veronica.”
Oh, God, his voice. My name barely carried over the rush of the wind. My pulse sped up and I gripped the steel railing around the pier until the cold bled through my palms straight to my bones.
Then he said it again, louder now.
“Veronica.”
I swallowed hard and turned around, shivering as the stiff breeze blew my hair straight back.
With one glimpse of him, so strong and proud in his dark vest and crisp white shirt, his white sleeves billowing a bit in the wind, I wanted to run to him, bury my face in his chest, and never leave.
I fought the impulse for a minute, maybe two, as we stared at each other. Then I moved toward him and sighed in relief when his arms encircled me tightly.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his throat. “I’m sorry I ran off and left you with my mess.”
“It’s our mess now.”
I eased back to look up at him, laughing and sniffling, and he gave me a wry smile. “I mean, what mess?”
“Yeah, right. That was a Meet the Parents sequel if I’ve ever seen one.”
“Pretty sure they’ve had a couple of them.”
“Yeah, and tonight would’ve qualified to join the list.” I swiped at my chin. “I swear, I’m typically not much of a crier, but my emotions are all over the place lately.”
“She sprung information on you that you weren’t expecting. You’re entitled.”
“Oh, yeah? And was I entitled to run off and leave you hanging?”
“Yes.” He brushed back a strand of my windblown hair. “Because that’s the only way you’ll ever believe I’ll always chase after you.”
“Aww, Murphy.” I glanced up at him, swallowing deeply at the reflection of the lights surrounding the pier shimmering in his hazel eyes. Such trustworthy eyes. Such broad shoulders, capable of carrying the weight of what mattered every day and not faltering.
Steadfast. True. Honorable. That was Murphy.
And he was everything I wanted, more than I ever could have guessed.
He was the exact opposite of my mother. The word flighty had no space in his vocabulary. He was the sort of man who would stick—for life.
If I was brave enough to take the chance and let him in.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered.
“Don’t I get to decide that?” His hand molded to my cheek. “I get to say who I want and what I want. If I’m lucky, you’ll want me back.”
“I do. God, I do. So much. But I didn’t tell you about my baggage.”
“Baggage like what? A secret lover stashed away somewhere? A prison record? Maybe a hidden past on the run?”
My lips trembled into a smile. “No. More like I have commitment issues. I get really fucking bitchy when I get PMS and on days one and two of my period. And I probably wanted a baby to have someone to love, and someone to love me back, which shows I may not be good parent material at all.”
His hand firmed against my face. “What makes a better parent than that?”
I didn’t have an answer for him. Or myself. I was questioning everything right now.
Except how I felt about him. That was a warm, wild beat in my chest that never waned for even a second. It was growing more intense with every passing moment.
He turned me toward the railing and wrapped his arms around me from behind, setting his chin on my head. His solid column of warmth at my back made me feel more secure than I’d ever felt in my life.
And more scared.
“I believe in you,” he said after a couple of minutes of silence, broken only by the lapping water and the soft murmur of the voices around us.
Despite the chill, it was a nice night and lots of people were out and about. None of them existed as far as I was concerned.
There was just Murphy.
“I believe you know your own heart and mind. You made the decision that was right for you, and I gotta say I’m glad for it. Without that post, we might not have ever spoken beyond ‘Eight petit fours to go, please, ma’am’.”
I snorted and turned my head to speak over my shoulder. “You never ordered eight.”
He pretended to suck in his stomach. “Gotta act cool in front of the hot chick.”
“You think I’m hot?”
“No.”
I pretended to pout as he turned me toward him again and imprisoned me against the rail with his muscled arms caging me in on either side. “I think you’re the loveliest woman I’ve ever seen in this life or any other.”
I blinked at the sudden sting in my eyes. Damn wind. “Oh, is that all?”
“No. Not even close. You’re also smart and funny and make the best brownies I’ve ever tasted. I even like the peanut butter swirl ones now.”
“You didn’t used to?”
“Nope.”
“Hmm. Maybe it’s my magic new ingredient.” I leaned against his chest and grinned up at him.
He twirled my hair around his finger. “What’s that?”
Love.
I nearly said it. Nearly clued him in to the truth inside me.
Instead, I mumbled, “White chocolate chips,” and reached up to yank his head down to mine.
I kissed him hard and he kissed me back with matching desperation, his fingers streaking into my hair to cup the base of my head. I bit his lower lip and he made a hungry sound in his throat, one that echoed in my belly and directly south. Just the insistent rub of his tongue against mine had me reaching down to grasp his belt buckle in a firm grip that told him in no uncertain terms I wanted my hand around more than metal.
“I want you.” Shamelessly, I panted it into his mouth between kisses.
“Veronica, we’re outside.”
“I know. I feel the cold railing against my ass and your hard cock against my pussy. Well, not quite, since you’re the size of a damn giant com
pared to me, but that’s where I want it.”
“Jesus. Oh, Jesus.” He was swearing in a continuous stream now, and it was pretty damn funny as well as hot as hell.
I barely got out a giggle before he was seizing hold of my hand and tugging me up the pier, dodging pedestrians with his typical politeness if not his usual moderate speed.
“Sorry, excuse us, in a hurry, sorry, coming through!”
I hurried to keep up with him, my wrap dress whipping against my chilly legs in the breeze. Murphy had warmed me right up though.
Inside and out. Especially between my breasts in that spot no other man had touched before.
No one else.
“Where are we going?” I asked between choppy breaths, scarcely able to hold back my laughter. It filled me up inside, squeezing out everything else.
Maybe this was what joy felt like.
And falling in love.
“My cabin. Or your apartment. No, your apartment is closer.”
The apartment I rarely spent time in these days, since I spent every free moment with Murphy at his place. I didn’t want to go there now. It was small and already felt empty, as if I no longer lived there.
I’d already begun to move on to my future.
I squeezed his hand. God, I hoped.
He drew me up the street to where his truck was parked near the bed and breakfast. Even in his rush, he didn’t just unlock it and move toward the driver’s side. Oh, no, he opened my door first and would have waited while I got inside and belted in.
If I hadn’t climbed in and turned to him standing beside the open passenger door, then reached for him with my arms and legs, wrapping both around him while he let out a startled “oof,” and met my mouth with his own.
I lost track of time. Of place. I barely felt the cramps in my inner thighs from the awkward way I’d coiled around him like a horny snake. But I didn’t miss how his hand anchored in my hair or the firm press of his lips as he matched my eagerness and returned even more.
My Murphy, who wasn’t into PDAs, was definitely giving as good as he got tonight.
Somehow I pulled back to pant against his throat. “Drive up the street. Pull off by the Paulson’s boat launch.”