She crawled back into bed and pulled the blanket up over her head. Normally after saying what was on her mind she’d worry about hurting Paige’s feelings and try to backpedal. But today she didn’t care.
Well, she did. But not enough to leave her bed and apologize. She spoke the truth. If Paige wanted responsibility, she could have it.
It irked her that her sister accused her of being controlling. Didn’t she realize that Camille had to be? No one else had stepped up to take over, to carry the burden, to make sure they got through not only their parents’ death but taking on a business. Paige certainly hadn’t; in fact, until today it seemed like Paige hardly cared.
It wasn’t like this was Camille’s lifelong goal. Sure, she’d seen herself taking over from her parents when they retired, but that was later in life. She had plans. Plans to travel, to see the world, to build her own name as a garden designer. She gave all that up, though, after her parents’ death and Paige’s career-ending injury.
No one asked her and no one had needed to. She’d done the only thing she knew how. But apparently it wasn’t enough.
Would it ever be?
* * *
By noon, Camille still hadn’t left the house. Wrapped in a light cardigan with a blanket over her lap, she sat in her lounger on the back porch and wished the hot sun would warm her body. Her feet and fingers felt like ice cubes, and she kept having to wipe her eyes from tears that continually appeared with each yawn.
She’d slept for a solid four hours and yet she could have slept for another eight. Maybe she was coming down with something.
“Knock, knock.”
Anne Marie came around the corner carrying a brown paper bag. “You know, for two women who love flowers and gardening so much, it always surprises me to see your backyard.”
Camille smiled. Every single time Anne Marie came over, she said the same thing.
They lived in a cottage just off the South Beach, and other than flowering shrubs to separate them from the beach, they had only one rosebush.
Her mother had planted that bush days before she died, and Paige lovingly tended it and kept it thriving.
“Gina gave me a container of her chicken soup for you, and your sister tells me you still have some scones.” She held the bag in her hand.
“There’s one or two left from the dozen you gave us.” Camille smiled and went to stand.
“No, no. Sit. I hear you’re not feeling well.” Anne Marie sat in the other lounger. “You never get sick, so for you not to come into the store means it’s serious.”
“I’m not sick.” And again with the yawning. “Just exhausted.”
“Which means your body could be fighting something.”
“Or just that I haven’t had enough sleep lately and I’m really tired.” She reached for her coffee cup, only to remember it was empty.
“What’s keeping you up at night?”
“Oh, you know, the usual stuff. Worrying about the winter season when sales will drop. Paige’s knee is acting up but she won’t do anything about it.… Just the same old things.”
“You need to let this stuff go. I know, easier said than done, but it’s not worth losing sleep over.” Anne Marie carried her bag and Camille’s empty coffee mug into the house but kept the back door open.
“Paige said to tell you things are slow but steady and not to worry, that she’s got it all under control,” Anne Marie called out.
“It’d be hard not to have it under control if it was slow,” Camille muttered.
“What was that?”
“That’s good,” Camille said instead, her voice slightly raised.
“Sure. But then, it doesn’t take much when the day is slow, right?” There was a chuckle to her friend’s voice, loud and clear.
By the time Anne Marie came out from the kitchen with a tray in her hand, Camille almost felt warm. Almost.
There were two bowls of soup, two cups of coffee, and two scones slathered with homemade strawberry jam. Camille’s stomach rumbled.
“I think I’m just exhausted.” She smothered another yawn.
“Your body can only handle so much stress, girl. Why don’t you take a few days off, let Paige handle things for a bit?”
Camille shook her head. “I can’t ask her to do that.”
“Why not?”
She had no idea, other than that it was highly unlikely her sister would be okay handing the store for more than one day. Paige had gardens to tend and couldn’t do that if she was in the store all day.
She tasted the soup as a distraction and groaned. “Wow. This is fabulous.”
“I know.” Anne Marie leaned back in her chair. “I found out Gina’s submitting her scone recipe for the fall fair this year, and you know I’ve won that award for the past three years.”
Camille shook her head. “You guys never stop, do you? What you need to do is figure out a joint venture that complements you both rather than competing. It would make life so much simpler for the rest of us.” She held the bowl of soup in her hands and let the heat of it seep into her skin. Why was she so cold?
“Where’s the fun in that? We’ve had this rivalry since we were teens. By now it’s become a tradition.” She winked.
“I should probably call Paige to see how she’s handling things, although no doubt she’ll just roll her eyes and tell me to stop worrying.” Camille sighed as she finished her soup. She was starting to feel a little bit better. Maybe all she needed was some homemade soup and a little rest in the sun.
“She’s probably right.”
“This is not where you get to say, ‘I told you so,’” Camille complained.
“Interesting.” Anne Marie pursed her lips for a moment before taking a sip of her coffee.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Camille frowned.
“You’re very defensive today. What’s going on?” Anne Marie asked.
“Did you know Paige has been housesitting for one of the summer families? One of the cottages by the water.”
“No, but that’s nice, isn’t it? Gives you both a little space and her maybe some extra income.”
“Well, if you say it like that…” Camille mumbled.
Anne Marie’s brows rose.
“Something is going on. She claims she told me about the housesitting, but I know she didn’t. So while she’s out sleeping comfortably in someone else’s house, I’m pacing the floors wondering where she is. She’s not exactly reliable lately, and I can’t keep doing it all by myself.” The words poured out of her, as if she’d been carrying the weight of worry for far too long.
“Is that what’s keeping you up at night? Worrying about Paige?”
Camille played with the blanket covering her legs, tugging at the threads that had come loose. “Someone has to, don’t they? I don’t know how my parents did it when she was a teen.”
“But she’s not anymore. She’s an adult.”
Camille flinched at the words. Paige was in her twenties. She was definitely an adult, and yet…she would always be her younger sister.
“I know that,” she said, her tone on the defensive side. “I do,” she said more earnestly.
“You know, I love Sweet Bakes,” Anne Marie said. “Starting up my own business was all I ever wanted to do, even as a child. I used to hold bake sales all the time, and my mom would sign us both up for baking lessons. But you… It has to be hard to be thrust into someone else's dream. Do you still have that scrapbook of all the places you wanted to visit? I remember you poring over that day in and day out, making a list of all the gardens you wanted to explore in France.”
Camille smiled at the memory. “I dreamed of visiting Versailles and other châteaux, of seeing firsthand the amazing English gardens in Britain and walking through the Gardens of Augustus on the Isle of Capri in Italy.” The longing was almost overwhelming. Would she ever see those places?
“It’s hard to give up a dream, and must be even harder when you’re
forced to,” Anne Marie said quietly.
Camille knew she was talking about Paige and her dream of being on the Olympic volleyball team.
“Why don’t we plan a trip?” Anne Marie leaned forward, her eyes bright with excitement. “Give ourselves a year or two to save? I’ve always wanted to go to Europe and eat my way through Italy, savor the chocolate in Belgium, and eat a real fresh baguette in Paris.”
Camille hesitated. “I don’t know.” She loved the idea, loved the excitement she could feel building up the moment Anne Marie suggested it, but…
“Come on, Cam. It’s been your dream since you were a little girl. Think about it at least, okay?” Anne Marie suggested.
Camille nodded, a slight smile playing with her lips.
They sat there in companionable silence, something Camille loved that came so easily between them, until Anne Marie’s phone chirped. She pulled it out and looked at it. Camille didn’t think anything of it until she saw tears well up in her friend’s eyes and her hand began to shake.
“What’s wrong?” Camille swung her legs over so she sat facing her.
Anne Marie wiped the tears away and put her phone down. “Nothing. It’s okay. Just a…” She sighed. “I had a reminder to take Bobby the antique car display in Oak Harbor this weekend.”
Bobby had been Anne Marie’s nephew, youngest son of her brother, Robert, and one of the victims of the school shooting. Jenn, Robert’s wife, was a pillar in their small community, responsible for taking care of a lot of the volunteers, or had been until recently. Losing a child…that had to be the worst thing for a parent to ever experience.
Anne Marie rubbed her chest, as if massaging away the hurt. “It’s only been a few months, but life goes on, you know. And at times you can forget…until something as simple as a reminder on your phone hits you hard.”
Camille hadn’t lost any family members in the shooting, but she knew what grief was. She glanced at the lone rosebush in her yard. Grief didn’t go away just because someone said it was time to live life again.
“You never truly forget, and it’s always the little things that remind you,” Camille said quietly. Tears pooled in her own eyes and she wiped them away.
Anne Marie sniffed. “I should get going. I need to stop by Jenn’s anyway before I head back to the store. We have some summer families coming in this week, and I don’t have any information on them.”
Stillwater was an ideal vacation town, located on Whidbey Island, just off the coast of Washington, and their population more than doubled over the summer seasons. Many families from Seattle owned a summer home here. The community liked to call them their summer families rather than simply labeling them vacationers.
“You’re still taking care of the welcome baskets?” Camille asked. Every year their summer families would receive a small “welcome back” basket full of local produce and gifts, coupons for local businesses, and invitations to special events throughout the summer.
Anne Marie nodded. “Originally it was just to help Jenn out—she’s still not ready to take it back—but you know, I kind of like doing it. It’s fun, and I can see why she had a hard time giving it up.”
“Some people cope in different ways, and even though keeping busy sounds good, when push comes to shove all it does it make you fall apart faster and harder.” Camille spoke from experience. She would never forget those first few months after her parents’ death…she’d been a wreck.
“Gina wants to host an end-of-summer luncheon, but I want to run it by Jenn first.”
“Oh, I like that. Especially if you two are doing it together. Let me know if I can help in any way.” She had some Stillwater signs for planters that she could donate.
“Well…now that you mention it, I had an idea.” Not only was there a twinkle in Anne Marie’s eyes, but she said it as if she knew Camille might not like her idea but she should.
Camille picked up her forgotten scone, bit into it, and almost choked as she listened to what Anne Marie had to say.
5
GRACE
The walkway to Katie’s front door was cracked, and weeds protruded at an alarming rate. How many times would Grace have to remind Nathan to get it looked at? Katie would have been out here yanking on the weeds, filling in the cracks…anything to keep her yard looking welcoming and clean.
At least the gardens looked good. Paige did a great job keeping them weed-free. The yard had been Katie’s pride and joy; she would be out here every morning watering her plants before sitting on her porch, coffee in hand and relaxing before greeting the day with a smile.
The memory hurt. Would that ache ever go away?
The sound of Sophie crying through the open living room window caught her attention and forced her to move beyond the past and into the present.
All night the memory of John’s words haunted her. She called herself Mommy to Sophie. She’d not only betrayed Katie but also the child she herself had lost.
She loved Katie’s little girl as if she were her own daughter, but she wasn’t. Grace needed to remember that. She had to remember that.
Grace rang the doorbell, and Sophie’s cries increased in volume.
The moment Nathan opened the door, he thrust his daughter into her arms.
“She won’t stop crying.” He looked ready to tear his hair out, and for a moment Grace was really worried.
“You should have called. I would have come over sooner,” Grace said as she bounced Sophie in her arms. The little girl liked movement, whether it was being in a vehicle, going for walks in her stroller, or just being bounced slightly while being held…that and music calmed her.
Nathan should know this by now.
“I need to learn how to take care of my own daughter.” He ran his hands through his hair, leaving the ends spiked, and sighed in frustration before turning to walk down the hallway, obviously trusting her to follow.
“I just put on a fresh pot.” He filled two mugs, not asking whether she wanted one before he nudged her cup toward her.
With Sophie on her hip now, Grace raised her mug and took a sip, all the while noticing how Nathan watched her.
“I can’t do that,” he said.
“Can’t do what?” She took another sip before placing the mug on the counter.
“Drink hot coffee with her in my arms. I’m afraid I’ll spill it on her and burn her.”
Grace smiled sadly. Katie would hate to see him like this, so insecure and uncomfortable around his own child.
Just another reminder of how Grace’s decision had affected others in a powerful way.
She gently squeezed his arm before pulling a fistful of her own hair from Sophie’s grasp.
Nathan stared at her, a blank look on his face.
“Are you okay?” she asked. She was worried. He seemed really off today, more so than usual.
“Will she even remember Katie?” he said softly.
Grace’s breath caught.
“Of course she will.” She would make sure Katie was larger than life for her best friend’s daughter.
He shook his head as if about to say something more but stopped.
“So you said you needed me?” Grace asked.
Nathan had called her earlier that morning and asked whether she could come over. She’d just been about to leave; she had her bag packed, and even though she had no idea where she was headed…anywhere but home was the goal. She refused to be there when Faith arrived, but needed a reason other than that she was just running away, as John accused her of before he left for work.
Nathan scrolled through his phone. “I need to run to the office for a meeting with Arnold and…” He stopped and a haunted look crossed his face.
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. I totally forgot about a golf tournament.” He set his phone down and reached for an apple.
It took only a moment for Grace to remember: Katie had talked about going with him for the weekend with Sophie and taking her to see th
e Seattle Aquarium. Her friend had been quite excited about it.
“You’re still planning on going, right?”
He gave her a look. “I can’t take Sophie, and my mom is busy.”
“I’ll take care of her.” She kept her voice calm, but inside she was jumping for joy.
“I can’t ask—”
“You’re not.” Grace cut him off. “I’m offering. And it’s perfect timing. John has some tight deadlines with work, so I’ll stay here with Sophie and be out of his way. She’ll probably appreciate sleeping in her own crib anyway, and I can crash on the guest bed.”
She could see when the relief set in. Nathan loved his golf; Katie used to tell her that it was the one thing he liked to do where he didn’t have to think about words or sentences or worry about keeping notes about potential article points. Golf meant relaxation for her husband, and Katie never had any issues with the amount of time he spent on the golf course, whether here or elsewhere.
“Are you serious?”
She smiled at him and gave Sophie a little kiss on the head. “Totally serious. Go. Get your stuff ready, talk to Arnold, and then get out of here. We’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure about this? John won’t mind?”
Grace smiled and lied through her teeth. “He won’t mind at all. In fact, it’s perfect. I was going to ask if I could take Sophie on a road trip for the day to the petting zoo.”
His facial features softened as he looked at his daughter. Grace could see the love he had for Sophie, and the yearning to be a good father. “She’d love that. Katie had a list of things she wanted to do with Sophie this summer and that was on it.”
“She did?”
He nodded. “It’s still on her desk. She labeled it her ‘mother-daughter trips.’”
“Then maybe you should be the one to take her.” I’m not her mother; I’m not her mother, Grace repeated inwardly.
“I…” Nathan hesitated. “I want to, Grace. I really do. But what if something happens? What if she cries and I can’t get her to stop? I’m not a good father; I know that. Not good enough to replace Katie.” His chin lowered and for a moment Grace thought he was going to cry.
The Stillwater Bay Collection (Books 1-4): Stillwater Bay Series Boxed Set Page 18