“I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.” Mrs. Grimshaw pulled Charlotte into a tight hug, the basket digging into her hip.
Charlotte glanced down the beach again.
“I can’t tell you how much we appreciate this. Thank you.” She opened one of the doors to her vehicle and set the basket inside, on top of her weekend bag. Charlotte was in a rush to leave. She wanted to head home. Soak in her tub, drink some wine and be alone.
What was supposed to have been a relaxing weekend away turned out to be full of stress and arguments. The Grimshaws had hearts of gold but from the moment they’d arrived, there hadn’t been one moment of peace. Word had spread that they’d arrived at the guest house and whether they sat on their porch sipping coffee or were walking Buster along the beach, someone would arrive with plates of fresh baked goods and want to chat.
Inevitably it was always about the school shooting.
So much for getting away from it all.
“I sure hope you didn’t mind all the people who came by to see you and Jordan. I know you probably hoped for some peace and quiet but…well, like I said, it’s not every day something so tragic happens in your own backyard.” Mrs. Grimshaw fiddled with her hands and didn’t quite meet Charlotte’s gaze.
Charlotte kept the smile on her face and breathed a sigh of relief as Jordan appeared. Finally.
“Of course not. Thank you so much squeezing us in last minute.” Charlotte had been surprised when Jordan at first mentioned they had a cottage available. It broke her heart to realize visitors along the coast had been sparse following the events in their town.
“How could we not? This might be our last summer out here. Mr. Grimshaw wants to sell the place before next season and move into the city. Of course I don’t mind…with five grand-babies now, it would be nice to be close by, you know?”
Charlotte caught the unsettled fear in the woman’s gaze as she glanced towards her husband who stood on the porch, leaning heavily on his cane as he stood on the porch.
The news didn’t surprise Charlotte. The Grimshaws were getting up in age and probably couldn’t manage the bed and breakfast for too much longer.
“Sorry we took so long.” Jordan said as he stood at Charlotte’s side. “Buster didn’t want to get out of the water.” He opened the trunk of their vehicle for Buster to jump up. “We should probably get going. Tyler called and is coming over tonight to discuss some staffing issues for the school.”
Charlotte narrowed her gaze at him. “What happened to being phone free all weekend?” Both of their phones, or so she’d thought, were locked in the glove compartment of the vehicle.
“Oops.” He gave a sheepish shrug, but from the look on his face, he really didn’t care.
That was fine. Two could play that game.
After saying goodbye to their hosts, Charlotte pulled out her phone and rather than talk with Jordan during the drive home, she spent time answering text messages and emails.
A good thirty minutes into their drive, Jordan reached over and covered her phone with his hand.
“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t figure you’d mind since I was walking Buster alone. If you’d been with me…” his voice trailed off, leaving the idea out there that if she’d joined him, he wouldn’t have had his phone with him.
“I needed to pack things up and you were only supposed to be gone twenty minutes tops.” She set her phone aside and crossed her arms over her chest, staring out the window.
That’s what bothered her the most. That he’d been gone for so long, leaving her to deal with the Grimshaws on her own, especially after she’d told him she didn’t want to be alone with them, again.
Charlotte was talked out. For someone so extroverted, this weekend exhausted her and she needed time away from being away.
It didn’t help that the limited time her and Jordan had spent alone wasn’t exactly what she’d call quality time.
“I’m sorry.” Jordan repeated. “Tyler called and I lost track of time.”
Funny, but he didn’t sound all that sorry.
“So, Tyler is coming by the house then?” So much for her night of quiet.
“No. I’ll meet him down at the pub.” He looked over at her and frowned. “You can join us if you’d like?”
Like that was going to happen. Tyler was Jordan’s friend. Not hers.
“Thanks but no thanks. My plans tonight consist of a hot bath, a new book and maybe drink a full bottle of wine. I’ll try to salvage as much of this weekend as I can in a few hours.”
“I’m sorry this weekend wasn’t what we thought it would be.” Jordan gripped the steering wheel with both hands and didn’t look at her.
She tried to read him but he’d closed himself off from her. She didn’t blame him.
They’d argued last night about his relationship with Julia. Charlotte had drank too many glasses of wine and started to ask the questions she’d bottled up for so long.
Jordan didn’t have much to say and what little he did, Charlotte hadn’t liked his answers.
“We probably should have waited.” Charlotte thought back to the words he’d said to her last night.
No matter what I say, it will never be what you want to hear.
That wasn’t true. She just wanted to understand, was that asking too much?
“We never would have taken the time, you know that.” Jordan didn’t release his grip on the wheel.
“If it’s important enough, you make the time.” Charlotte’s mother used to always say that to her.
Jordan shook his head.
Charlotte leaned back in the seat and turned the volume of the radio up. If all they were going to do was argue, she’d rather not talk at all.
“You can’t hold what happened seventeen years ago against me, Charlotte.” Jordan turned the volume down, his shoulders set back.
She ran her fingers through the back of her hair, dislodging her ponytail in the process.
“I’m not holding it against you. I just need to understand how you could keep something like that a secret from me.” Why didn’t he understand that?
She thought she could handle knowing her husband and one of her best friends had been an item – no matter how brief. She thought she could. But she couldn’t.
Not only that they’d been an item, but they had a child together. A child she’d never known about.
How could she let that go?
“I don’t know how much more I can explain myself for you to understand. We dated only a few weeks. There was nothing to our relationship. Nothing to tell or explain. I didn’t even recognize her when she first moved here. God,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “that was a lifetime ago, Charlotte. I’m sorry. I didn’t think a few weeks of my life with her was worth mentioning.”
Charlotte’s seatbelt cut into her side as she twisted in her seat. She clenched her fingers in suppressed anger.
“Nothing to explain? How about the fact you had a child with her? That you were a father to some little boy? It’s one thing if you hadn’t known about Gabriel…” she chocked on the words as they came out. Her heart raced with anger while she struggled to breath properly.
“I never wanted to be a father. Julia knew that. It was her choice to raise the boy alone. Why is her decision my fault? I gave her money, made sure she was taken care of as much as I could in the beginning. She was the one who didn’t want my money or my help afterwards…so why am I paying the price now for her choice?” He pounded the steering wheel with his fist.
The level of his anger and obvious frustration startled her.
“It’s one thing to not want to be a father. I get that, Jordan. We both agreed that children weren’t a part of our lives. But it’s another to ignore the boy after Julia moved here. That’s what I’m struggling with. Not to mention the fact you both kept this from me.” Her jaw clenched as she tore her gaze from her husband to the scenery that sped by.
“I wasn’t keeping anything from you.” Jordan breathed i
n deep and rolled his shoulders.
“You were. How can you deny that?” There was a dull throb of pain in her head. Charlotte scrambled through her purse for Tylenol and washed two pills down with a bottle of water.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
Charlotte barely heard him, his voice was so low.
“I tried to respect Julia’s decision. I waited to see if she’d say anything to you or if she’d talk to me about Gabriel. But she never did. So I never did.” His tone was apologetic. Charlotte wondered if he truly was or if he was only telling her what he thought she wanted to hear?
“But you should have.”
He nodded. “I should have.”
A tear trickled down Jordan’s face. He quickly wiped it away and put his sunglasses on. If he’d hoped to hide the tears from her, he was too late.
Charlotte reached out and entwined her fingers through his. His hold was stiff, unbending for a few moments until the tension in his hand released and his fingers curled around hers.
“I’m sorry.” She said. As much as he said he never wanted to be a father, Charlotte couldn’t help but wonder if deep down, he regretted making that choice.
“I’m sorry too. More than you could ever know.” The words tore from his throat, confirming Charlotte’s suspicions.
“We’ll get through this, Jordan. We will.” The need to reassure him was heavy on her heart. She didn’t know what it would take for them to get past this but she was willing to try.
Her cell rang just then.
“If you want to answer that, it’s okay.” Jordan released her hand so she could pick up the phone.
Seeing that it was her mother, Charlotte thought about answering it. She thought about how the conversation would go and realized she didn’t have the energy to deal with any crisis or requests her mom had for her tonight.
She hit the ignore button.
4
The room was full of laughter and it was hard to believe only five women were in it.
Gina had opened her café early for an impromptu girlfriends’ breakfast, something they’d let slide following the school shooting back in May. She’d sent everyone a message yesterday telling them to clear their Monday-morning schedules and to be at her place by seven a.m. sharp—no ifs ands or buts would be recognized.
If ever there was a mother hen of their group, it was Gina.
It had been too long—since May actually—since their last regular girlfriends’ get-together.
Charlotte discreetly checked the messages on her phone, grimacing to see her mother had called again and left another message while Lacie and Camille teased each other for wearing the exact same outfit – white capris and a billowy floral top. Lacie’s top was soft pink whereas Camille’s was a bold, bright pink. This wasn’t the first time they’d worn the same top, which had others chuckling in their seats.
“If it’s not an emergency, put that away.” Gina, who sat across from her, nudged her leg and stared pointedly at the phone. Gina’s hair was pulled back in a tight bun but a few strands had escaped to frame her face. The faint streak of flour dusted her one cheek but despite others discretely wiping their cheek when they’d caught her gaze, she remained clueless.
Biting her lip, Charlotte slipped the cell into her purse. One of these days she would call her mom back. Maybe.
“Everything okay?” Gina asked.
Charlotte nodded while lightly tapping her cheek. “Jordan and I went away for the weekend and—”
“It’s about time!” Gina cut her off. “I swear, I don’t think you’ve taken a day off since May, have you?”
“Personal holidays this summer really weren’t on my schedule, you know?” She didn’t need to spell it out. Not to this group.
“A day here and there doesn’t hurt.” Anne Marie piped up. “For pete’s sake Gina, wipe your cheek will you? You’ve got flour all over it.
“And no one said anything? That’s friendship for you!” Gina used her apron to clean her face, being sure to give everyone at the table dirty looks. “Where did you two lovebirds end up going?” Gina asked as she handed her a plate of fresh-baked biscuits.
Charlotte forced a smile on her face. They didn’t need to know the disaster their weekend had been.
“Not far. Jordan took me to our favorite B-and-B up on the coast. We took Buster, went antique shopping, walked along the beaches, and watched the sun set. It was…” She struggled to find the right word to use. Stressful. Exhausting. A mistake.
“Perfect.” Anne Marie said. “Exactly what you needed.” Anne Marie gave her a smile that said more than her words.
“Not to change the subject, but has anyone heard from Jenn?” Camille asked. “Robert came into the store yesterday, bought her a dozen roses and mentioned she was planning on coming.”
Everyone looked toward Charlotte, who in turn looked at Anne Marie. Jenn might be one of Charlotte’s best friends, but she was also Anne Marie’s sister-in-law.
Anne Marie shook her head. “You’ve got me. I offered to pick her up but she said to go ahead. I figured she was running late.”
Charlotte pulled out her phone and dialed Jenn’s number. Everyone at the table grew quiet, but after it went to voice mail, Charlotte shook her head and there was a collective groan.
“Hey, Jenn,” Charlotte brightened her voice as she left a message, “we’re missing you. Hope you’re on your way, and if not, I’ll stop by on my way home to check in on you, okay?”
If Jenn hadn’t come then she was probably having a rough morning. She’d been having a lot of those lately, and it worried Charlotte. Jenn lost her youngest son during the school shooting. Since stepping back from all her volunteering roles in town in order to grieve for her Bobby, she’s pulled away from everyone. Grief had no time limits, and Charlotte understood there was no rule to how one handled the death of a child. It still worried her.
The next hour was spent chatting about their lives, what was new, how their summer was going…the usual girlfriend chatter over coffee.
After they all shared another pot, Anne Marie pulled Charlotte to the side just as she was getting ready to leave.
“You’re going to see Jenn, right?”
Charlotte reached for her purse and quickly checked to see whether Jenn had replied. “Maybe Robert took her away for a day trip? She’d mentioned wanting to go on the mainland and do some shopping,” Even she heard the weak hope in her voice.
The way Anne Marie’s brows rose told her she didn’t believe it either.
“Go see her and make sure she’s okay. ” Anne Marie gave her a hug and held her tight for a moment longer than necessary. “Something’s different about you. The weekend away was good for you.”
Charlotte smiled. “It was nice to get away.”
“It was probably also nice to reconnect with your husband.” Anne Marie’s eyes twinkled.
“Girl…” Charlotte rolled her eyes.
“The stress of the past few months has been hard on you both, regardless of what you say or do to make everyone think otherwise.”
“I’m fine, Anne Marie. We’re fine. Getting away was good for us.”
Giving her a look that said she knew better, Anne Marie turned and went to Gina, giving her a hug.
All along the drive, Charlotte wondered how Anne Marie had known something was up. She hated that Anne Marie could see past her facade. Charlotte honestly thought she’d hidden the stress and tension between her and Jordan well, but apparently she’d slipped somewhere.
Not anymore, though. Things were back to normal with them. They were back on their way to being the strong team everyone knew them to be. Going away for the weekend had been a great idea. They’d agreed to put the past behind them—his secrets, his cowardice—and they worked on rebuilding their marriage. They enjoyed each other’s company and talked a lot about the next steps for their town.
She’d come back happy, which was something she hadn’t felt in a long time.<
br />
When she pulled up to Jenn’s house, Robert was waiting for her in the driveway.
“I’m glad you came,” he said as he held the car door open for her.
“Is she okay?” She glanced toward the house. Jenn wasn’t dealing with her son’s death very well, and Charlotte was concerned.
“She was getting ready to meet you all this morning but fell apart in the shower. She’s out on the deck. I need to run to the office but should be back shortly.”
“So you’d like me to stay until you get home?” Charlotte had no problem reading between the lines.
“If you don’t mind? I know I’m being a bit presumptuous. I tried to reschedule with the Harpers but their day is already booked.”
Charlotte’s breath caught. She had a feeling she knew what Robert was about to tell her.
“Not Julia again?” The Harpers were the owners of the summer cottages along the North Shore. Robert had mentioned last month that they were trying to evict Julia, mainly because she was Gabe’s mother and since the school shooting, she was being bullied for her son’s actions.
She might not be on talking terms with someone she’d considered a best friend, but it didn’t mean she wanted Julia kicked out of Stillwater. Julia didn’t need any more complications or struggles in her life. What she needed was time to heal, to grieve, and to figure out where she was going with her life.
“All the rental agreements are coming up for renewal.” His eyes tightened as he stared off down the street. “I’m trying, Charlotte. I’m trying. They’re using all the graffiti that keeps getting painted on the cottage and along the fence as an excuse for her removal. Maybe it would help if you talked to them?”
She reached out and lightly touched his arm. “We’ll figure this out, Robert. We won’t let them kick her out. If they have legal grounds, we’ll just find another home for her.”
He nodded.
Just as they reached the door to the backyard, Charlotte turned. “My day is a little crazy but if you want me to meet with them, let me know.”
The Stillwater Bay Collection (Books 1-4): Stillwater Bay Series Boxed Set Page 26