…his voice was like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength … he laid his right hand on me, saying, … ‘I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive for evermore’ (Rev. 1:15-18).
8. I Can’t Pray
Simon left the tube station and walked into a city scene that resembled the dreary watercolour nailed to his parents’ landing wall. Falling into step with the same body of commuters he nudged and bumped every morning, Simon’s heart sank as he remembered the church prayer meeting was scheduled for that evening. He felt a stab of regret that he felt so distant from God.
When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. (Ps. 77:3)
He turned a corner and crossed the road. ‘What can I do?’ he asked himself, wedging himself onto the crammed pedestrian island. ‘When I prayed last night I really thought God would answer me. But then it all felt so half-hearted … and I don’t even know if He heard me,’ he thought.
I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. (Ps. 77:1)
Simon crossed the road and pushed the door to his office building, trying to lid the frustration welling up inside.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Ps. 77:2)
Holy Groans
Prayer remains the hardest part of the Christian life. Even when we are really enjoying God many of us find it tricky. So, if we are spiritually dry or flat it can be near impossible. This isn’t surprising if prayer is the chief muscle of faith. When our faith is lukewarm, our prayer muscle goes saggy and we forget how to pray. We want God but are tongue-tied. Also, there are the times when life devastates us and in our grief and sorrow we have no words. Then we can do nothing but groan. And God hears our groans.
The letter of Romans tells us that when we can’t pray we have an intercessor.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (Rom. 8:26)
How encouraging that the Holy Spirit prays with holy groans on our behalf. When we are wrestling in spiritual darkness or profound loss, our greatest comfort is the Comforter Himself; the Holy Spirit who dwells with us and in us (John 14:17). His presence is one of the greatest comforts in being a Christian, and His help is given to all who belong to Christ (Rom. 8:9).
Not Voiceless Orphans
The Holy Spirit groans for us in prayer because we are adopted; we have joined God’s covenant family.
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God … [and] have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ (Rom. 8:14-15)
This is why when Jesus promises the Holy Spirit He says ‘I will not leave you as orphans’ (John 14:18). We are not voiceless orphans who stick out a hand on a street corner, begging for money or scraps of food. We are children of God and co-heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:16-17).
This means that when we can’t pray, when sin or pain leaves us hoarse, confused and undeserving, we don’t need to be timid orphans, like Oliver Twist requesting some more. We are adopted children of God and co-heirs with the King, even when we don’t feel like it. We can call out to God and He hears us as His treasured children.
PRAY:
Abba! Father!
May your Holy Spirit show me that I am not an orphan but adopted into your family. Teach me how to pray and show me how to take hold of Christ.
In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen.
9. Hunted to the Cross
Are you taunted and haunted by your sin? Have you spent years or decades chewing remorsefully on your past; replaying mistakes and regrets when you can’t sleep? As believers, we tell ourselves that we are forgiven and it has been dealt with by Christ. But we don’t believe it. We continue to harbour guilt, and these memories, some horrid, some embarrassing, some traumatic, harass our spiritual lives and hamper our joy in Christ.
Finished
On the cross, Jesus Christ said ‘It is finished!’ (John 19:30). Finished! Christ’s death was the end. The death of our sin and guilt. If we belong to Jesus then there is no sin unforgiven left to taunt us. Why should we hang our heads in shame when He hung naked on a tree? If you are a Christian, you are free! This is the good news: God in Christ has cast all your sin into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19) and there is ‘no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’ (Rom. 8:1). You cannot condemn yourself anymore, Jesus bore it on the cross.
We said earlier that the only reason Christians wander away from God is because of sin. But Jesus Christ has died for our lukewarmness, our apathy, or our backsliding; past, present and future. It is gone! It is finished because the perfect spotless lamb was led silently to the slaughter for the wandering sheep (Isa. 53:7).
Crucified with Christ
I think we find it hard to believe that Jesus, at the cross, has actually rid us of our sin. For how can a 2,000-year-old Roman cross save you and me now in the twenty-first century? We were not at Golgotha that day on Passover week.
Praise God, Calvary is not suspended in time, irrelevant to us without Doctor Who’s Tardis or a quantum leap! It is by the Christian’s union with Christ, forged by the Holy Spirit, that His death becomes our death and His resurrection victory becomes our resurrection victory. We are saved by faith in Christ because we are ‘crucified with Christ’. As Paul wrote ‘it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me’ (Gal. 2:20).
Defogging the Cross
There are times in the Christian life when the cross is bright and as clear as day to us. We get it. We revel in it. But in spiritual drought and temptation, the cross becomes murky and the gospel can seem almost mythical and detached from our everyday lives.
Taking a long hard look at the cross of Christ can clear the fog. When we ‘set’ the dying Lord of lords and King of kings before us, our ‘heart is glad, and [our] whole being rejoices’ (Ps. 16:8-9). It is a huge comfort that the cross of Christ cannot change. It’s finished! And this historical event doesn’t shift depending on how spiritual we feel or the success of our ministry.
Let Christ hunt you back to the cross and show you that your sin is ‘as far as the east is from the west’ (Ps. 103:12).
SING:
‘Tis finished! The Messiah dies,
Cut off for sin, but not his own.
Accomplished is the sacrifice,
The great redeeming work is done.
The veil is rent; in Christ alone
The living way to heaven is seen;
The middle wall is broken down,
And all the world may enter in.
‘Tis finished! All my guilt and pain,
I want no sacrifice beside;
For me, for me the Lamb is slain;
‘Tis finished! I am justified.
The reign of sin and death is o’er,
And all may live from sin set free;
Satan hath lost his mortal power;
‘Tis swallowed up in victory.
(Charles Wesley, 1762)
10. I’m Not Dead!
Bones. Bones everywhere. Dry. Cracked. Lifeless. White and naked. No tissue. No red life-giving blood. Good for nothing. Just empty skulls, filling the valley like sweets in a jar, and bones piled high like sticks.
Can these bones live?
Helen sat sipping her mochaccino, her eyes were downcast but she seemed restless.
‘What’s up, Helen?’ Caroline asked as she sat down opposite her. ‘You’re obviously not yourself.’
Helen looked at her friend and smiled weakly, relieved she was getting to the point. ‘I’m really struggling at the moment … spiritually, I mean. Have for a few months. I feel so … well … flat. I don’t know what to do.’
‘Oh, Helen! I’m sorry … Are you able to pray
about it?’
Helen put her coffee down and shook her head. ‘Not really. I don’t seem to be able to pray at all!’ She locked her eyes on her friend and frowned. ‘I feel so closed off from the things of God. I feel numb … dead! Like someone has taken a pair of secateurs to my spiritual nervous system.’
Dead or Alive?
Agreed, the Christian life isn’t all about feelings and some might say that they have been referred to too many times in this book. But the Christian life is an experience; it is something to be known and felt.1 When we are shrouded in grief, or fighting against our own apathy or rebellion, our emotions are overwhelming. In moments of spiritual difficulty, many believers have known a sense of desertion from God, and feel spiritually numb or dead inside.
Whenever we feel this way, however, there are only two possibilities. Simply that we are spiritually dead and need to make Christ Jesus our Saviour. Or that we are not dead, but a Christian; united and alive with Jesus Christ. Whether we feel it or not. For ‘God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved’ (Eph. 2:4-5).
Can These Bones Live?
… There was a sound, and behold, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone. And I looked, and behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them. But there was no breath in them … and the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet …. (Ezek. 37:7-8, 10)
Through the death and resurrection of His Son, God gives spiritual life to those who are dead. He does this by the power of the Spirit of Christ, turning hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (Ezek. 3:26). If you have made Jesus your Lord and Saviour then you are alive! Alive because you are fused to Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah!
Ultimate Victory
A couple of Februarys ago, my husband and I buried one of our babies. We could make no sense of our loss. The pain only hewed at our insides.
With our miscarriage came a deluge of physical and emotional mess. First death was inside me, and then we had to bury our dear sweet baby in the cold, hard ground. I can tell you our theology was tested and maxed out as we poured all our sorrow and hope into the coming of Easter: the mighty victory of Jesus Christ over death. Our comfort was, and is still found, in the fact that we revel in union with Him who is ‘the resurrection and the life’ (John 11:25).
The victory of Jesus stamping out sin and death is our victory in bereavement and loss, as well as in times of cold faith and apathy; for we are alive because He is alive! The victory of Jesus Christ coming out of the grave is also our triumph in temptation, our healing in backsliding, and our joy in apathy. When we stare death in the face or when we are frustrated and numb, sin and death and hell have been defeated. When the darkness persists all we can do is preach to ourselves that we are spiritually alive and kicking by the Holy Spirit until it rolls away. Our hope is that ‘if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his’ (Rom. 6:5).
READ: Matthew 28: 1-10
Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men. But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.’ So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. And behold, Jesus met them and said, ‘Greetings!’ And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.’
* * *
1 Stuart Olyott, Something Should be Known and Felt (Bridgend: Bryntirion Press, 2014).
Part Three: Practical Self-Care
Now we are going to consider some safeguards to keep us from becoming lukewarm.
11. Physical and Spiritual Burnout
We have covered a lot of ground in our short time together; giving gospel comfort to those straying, as well as exploring why we wander from God at all. We know the main problem is sin, and the fact that we live in a fallen world. Our desire for material comfort (Demas and Lot), our carnal passions (David), or our fear (Jonah) are some pitfalls that trip us up from enjoying Jesus. Still, the reasons behind spiritual struggles are complex and personal to each of us.
Sometimes, however, we just burnout. Like Job, we are beaten down by the pressures of life. The consequences of existing in a fallen world pile up and then come crashing down on us. Frequently, something happens that is the last straw; the final weight that sends everything flying. We are all different: it might be the strain of family, work, debt or ill health. It might be criticism from a colleague or a house move. For Christian workers, it can be the endless plodding on in a discouraging ministry. Either way, frequently there is a trigger and suddenly we have nothing else to give; we are physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally exhausted. In this spiritual exhaustion, if we allow our spiritual disciplines to slide, apathy certainly follows. And since we have little spiritual strength to fall upon, we may enter a time of serious spiritual struggle.
This is not the book to look at these things in detail. But we must explore briefly the relationship between a lukewarm life and physical and spiritual burnout.
Burnt-out
Chris is in his early forties. For years he balanced a demanding office life with a young family. But just as his company went through a busy merge and overhaul, Chris learnt his mother was showing signs of dementia. Things got complicated. Awkward phone calls with his father progressed, in a matter of days, into a refusal to care for her. All these triggers pressed Chris into a place of depression and stress. He lost his desire to pray and read Scripture, and felt detached from church life. What was Chris’s sin? Was he at fault, or just living in a fallen world, groaning with sin?
Like Chris, are you spiritually dry because of the onslaught of life? Have you experienced the devastation of bereavement, infertility, depression or the loss of a marriage? Are you facing the disappointment of unwanted singleness, redundancy, disability or chronic ill health? If you are, like Chris, you need the gospel more than anything. But you probably need some self-care too.
We do, however, have to be honest with ourselves. We need to check we are not blaming our sin on something else.
Someone Else’s Sin
It is important to flag up another complexity regarding sin and backsliding, that is, those who suffer not because of their sin but because of someone else’s. The betrayal of abuse, adultery or family breakdown leaves the innocent party with long-term, life-changing hardships that they neither asked for nor deserved. Unfortunately, these can drain the Christian, hardening them, whilst softening their church commitment or biblical worldview.
Elizabeth is an example of this. As a committed Christian, she had been happily married to Doug for years. But when Elizabeth found out Douglas was emotionally involved with another woman, their marriage ended. Elizabeth was left with the humiliation of having to explain Douglas’s betrayal to their Christian friends. This, together with parenting a wayward daughter alone, a painful financial settlement, and attending yet another anniversary celebration by herself, soon made Elizabeth hard and bitter. It wasn’t long before her faith crumpled under her anger and resentment.
Although Chris and Elizabeth’s circumstances are very different, more than anything they both need God’s strengthening and healing. And time an
d space to reset themselves physically and emotionally.
Physical & Spiritual
It is said that whenever one of Martyn Lloyd-Jones’s congregation came to him, expressing a time of spiritual depression, he would send them home with the prescription of some good hearty food and rest; self-care at a very basic level. If, after a week there was no improvement, they should return; but they rarely did. As a GP as well as a pastor, Lloyd-Jones appreciated that our physical and spiritual wellbeing are very much connected.
Physical tiredness leads to spiritual burnout. If you are prone to burnout, don’t be super-spiritual; guard your rest and time off. You are human — you need rest! When burnout or depression threaten we should respond to the signs and take time out as soon as possible, for at least forty eight hours. This will help clear our head. We live on a busy and broken planet; full of sin and weakness. This is why God ordained a day of rest. With our worldview of human fallibility, Christians should be the first to advocate rest and sleep, and to respond to our own burnout or depression (as well as that of others) with grace and courage to seek pastoral support from godly Christian friends.
WRITE:
Jot down some ideas you can put in place to prevent you from burning out.
12. The Best Preacher in Town
Prone to Wander Page 4