by Amy Sumida
I gaped at him; astounded that this unknown god could have such a high opinion of himself.
“You egotistical bastard,” I said with soft ferocity. “What makes you so damn special that you think you can take down Lucifer himself and rule in his place? And what would you rule if you did? A dead land without people?”
“A dead land with dead people,” he said calmly. “You need me too, Vervain; you're drowning in this life. Your husbands smother you, and yet you're about to marry another man. All of them claw at you for your time and affection. To fuck you and breed you.” He gently stroked my cheek. “And it's become a strain, hasn't it? You have to sneak away at night to find peace.”
“And now you're going to use my secret against me,” I said as I shook my head. “You're a piece of work. Poor quality work. I don't need nor want you. I'm blissfully happy with my family, and I will destroy anyone who threatens that happiness.” I rolled us suddenly and gripped Trevor's face as I stared into Katila's soul. “You're a sad little boy who got the short end of the magic stick. Your daddy was a big god, but you're just a footnote; barely spoken of. And now, he's dead and you have his magic string. Do you really think you can take Hell with it?”
“The Pasha is stronger than you know, and so am I,” Katila growled. “I will consume every demon soul in Hell with its help. With all that power inside me, I'll be greater than any god who's ever lived.”
“How?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “How are you able to take another god's power?”
“Worried that you won't be the only one who can do it anymore?” He taunted me.
“You're bluffing,” I said and exhaled out of my nose derisively. “You can't take their magic.”
His expression hardened. “I can! I'm special. You'll see. When I'm full of demonic power you'll know that I spoke the truth, and you will change your mind about me.”
“Even if you were the only god who lived, I wouldn't want you,” I said scathingly. “You're pathetic; a body-thief and a rapist. You have to steal things that you could never gain on your own.” Then I turned my head and shouted, “Azrael! Bring your scythe now!”
By the time I turned back, Katila was gone, and the Wolf was lying beneath me; gasping for air.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
The Wolf was on another rampage and this time it was our bed that was suffering. He growled as he rent the sheets, he howled as he overturned the mattress, and he snarled as he ripped apart the pillows. Feathers floated down around the werewolf as Odin and Azrael watched in horrified fascination.
“Stop it!” I'd finally had enough.
I grabbed his arm. The Wolf snapped his teeth at me, and I roared back.
“He could have raped you again,” the Wolf said through his panting breaths. “And you wouldn't have even known.”
“I would have known,” I said calmly. “I know how to tell that it's him; his scent is empty.”
“Empty?” The Wolf frowned.
“There are holes in your scent when he possesses you,” I said. “I inhale and it's like a skipping record; there are words missing.”
The Wolf frowned as he processed this. “I'm the Alpha; I should protect you, but I can't. I'm weak. This is not acceptable.”
The Wolf's shoulders started shaking, and he looked as if he might start breaking things again.
“Is it safe to bring Lesya down?” Kirill called down to us from the top of his stairwell.
“Give us a minute,” I called back. Then to the Wolf, I said, “This is part of being a parent; you have to control yourself and put on a smile for your children even when you're falling apart. Can you do that?”
The Wolf nodded crisply. His shoulders relaxed with jerks of motion, his breathing evened, and he shifted back to human. I went to work with my territory magic; fixing the things he'd broken. The feathers were the hardest to deal with; I left most of them where they were. The men righted the furniture once it was repaired. Maybe Lesya wouldn't notice the feathers. We'd sweep them up later.
“We're good down here,” Azrael called to Kirill.
Kirill took a cautious look around as he came down the stairs with Lesya. His gaze settled on the Wolf's stiff back, and he kept walking past him; straight out of the room.
“Where are we going?” Lesya asked her father as she crawled over his shoulder to peer back at us. “Why are there feathers everywhere?”
“Uncle Trevor had a pillow fight vith Mama. Ve're having breakfast downstairs today so they can clean up,” Kirill said. “Zere is leftover steak.”
“Yay!” Lesya cried.
My daughter loved her meat.
“Can we have a pillow fight?” She asked.
“Do you vant to clean up feathers?”
Lesya went quiet.
She never mentioned the Wolf's nudity. Naked men were a common sight in our home, and if you don't make a big deal out of something, your children won't either. We'd already had the why boys are different from girls discussion. So, yeah; Lesya was fine with a naked wolf. It was the wolf I was worried about.
“You're not weak,” I said to Trevor as soon as they were gone. “This is because you gave me a part of your soul, and I didn't give you anything in return. You and I both know it; you left yourself vulnerable for me. That's called bravery, not weakness.”
The Wolf sighed and pulled me into his arms. “I must leave you, Mate.”
“What?” I gaped at him.
“Temporarily. I won't let him near you again,” the Wolf vowed. “Even if it means that I cannot be near you until I kill him.”
“You're not going anywhere,” I said firmly. “I have an idea. I came up with it at the cabin, and I should have said something last night, but I got distracted.”
The Wolf cocked his head.
“I need to give you a part of my soul,” I said.
The Wolf and Azrael both immediately protested; arguing that it wasn't possible. I wasn't a Froekn; I couldn't separate pieces of myself like that. I ignored them and looked at Odin.
“Can it be done?” I asked Odin.
“I believe so,” Odin murmured.
“What?” Both the Wolf and Azrael stared at Odin in shock.
“Vervain has more than enough souls to go around,” Odin pointed out. “Trevor gave her some of his wolf; that means that she has an excess of soul inside her. Hypothetically, she could take an equal piece of one of her other souls and give it to Trevor to replace his. Then the piece of his soul will settle into the opening in one of hers. Just as is done in a normal Froekn Binding ritual.”
“I could make him whole again?” I asked eagerly.
“Hold on.” The Wolf held up a hand. “We don't know what that would do to me. If she gave me a piece of lion or dragon, it might end up tearing me apart.”
“The lioness is her magic, not her soul. It's different from yours,” Odin said. “And the dragon is a faerie essence. Neither of them could bond with you. Vervain would need to take a piece of her goddess soul and place it inside you. When she does, she may be able to choose to send magic with it.”
“How?” I asked.
“No,” the Wolf said as he took my hand. “I won't weaken you just to make me stronger. I am not that prideful, Mate.”
I stared at him in awe; this beast who spoke like a man and loved like a god. I thought he was all the wild parts of Trevor, but it turned out that he was the noble parts as well.
“It won't weaken her,” Odin reassured him. “I wouldn't have suggested it if I thought it might.”
“'Thought' being the keyword,” the Wolf pointed out. “We don't know what it will do to Vervain. No non-Froekn has done it before. How can you be certain that it's even possible?”
Odin smiled.
“The book Mimir gave you,” I whispered.
“The book he traded to me,” Odin corrected. “I might as well get my eye's worth.”
“And it's about time that I committed completely to you,” I said to my Wolf. “You've suffered a half-m
ating for too long.”
“I thought I'd been cursed when the man in me bound us to you,” the Wolf rumbled as he laid his hand on my shoulder; the pad of his thumb rubbing across my neck.
He'd bitten me there—several times—but my accelerated healing had made short work of it. But the Wolf knew, and I knew, and it seemed that my body knew as well; it shuddered as if my flesh were still marked. I trembled; seeing him above me again and feeling his teeth in my throat.
“But now I see how wise he'd been,” the Wolf went on tenderly. “How lucky we were to have been sent to hunt you.”
“I love all of you; man and wolf,” I whispered before I kissed him. “Now, let me make you complete.”
“There's just one thing,” Odin said with a smirk.
The Wolf and I turned to him.
“If I do this—if I help her complete you—I want something in return,” Odin said with a wily grin.
The Wolf narrowed his eyes at Odin. “What?” He snarled.
“I want Trevor back,” Odin said. “If he is complete, so are you. You will have acquired what you both desired; your position as Alpha, your son conceived, and possession of the magic to defend your mate with. There will be no reason for you to hold Trevor back.”
The Wolf frowned and looked at me.
“You're not leaving, you're just letting another part of you take over for a bit,” I said. “You're with him when he's in control, aren't you?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “I'm always with him. As he is always with me. He's here even now; urging me to take the chance Odin has offered and the gift you want to give us.”
“What's holding you back?” I asked.
“You,” he whispered. “I only have control when he's in his pure wolf form. I don't want to give this up; being a man with you.”
“Then bargain with him,” I said as I stroked his cheek. “Ask him for time with me in this form. Sometimes you have to make compromises with yourself.”
The Wolf smiled softly at me, and then his honey eyes went distant. After a few minutes, his smile widened, and he swung his head toward Odin.
“Trevor will return once we complete the ritual,” the Wolf agreed.
“I'll get the book.” Odin headed downstairs.
“How did that son of a bitch even know about Trevor's soul being incomplete?” Azrael growled as he watched Odin leave.
“I think he's done a lot of research on us. He knew everything about me; down to my nine-pointed star,” I said. “He's smart; I'll give him that. But he's also insane.”
“We can use that,” Azrael said coldly. “Every crazy person has their trigger; an issue that when exploited can drive them even more insane. We just have to find what Katila's is; push his buttons until he self-destructs.”
I thought back to the morning's incident and then murmured, “I would have said it was his ego, but even when I called him pathetic and weak, he remained confident. He got a little angry but stayed calm.”
“We'll figure it out,” Azrael said. “But first things first; let's get ourselves in top fighting shape.” He said to the Wolf, “You being stronger makes all of us stronger.”
The Wolf nodded; his eyes on me.
“And maybe put some clothes on,” Az suggested.
My wolf grinned wickedly at my angel and asked, “Why? Getting jealous?”
“Getting nightmares.” The Angel of Death shuddered.
The Wolf laughed suddenly; a dark, rich sound that made me think of him behind me. His hand in my hair while he drove himself into me. His pelvis slapping into my ass. My breath caught in my throat, and my wolf finally noticed the effect he was having on me. His amusement turned into arousal and a low growl vibrated out of him as he pulled me closer.
Azrael cleared his throat as Odin returned with the book. He held it up triumphantly and then set it down on the kitchenette table with a thud. It was a large book. The Wolf eased away from me with a rueful grin.
“That was fast,” Azrael said as we wandered over to the table.
The Wolf picked up his discarded pants along the way and pulled them on.
“I had it here,” I explained. “From when I used it to bring Odin back.”
Odin spared a quick, soft smile for me and then flipped open the blue leather book; light catching in the silver, nine-pointed star embossed on its cover. I couldn't read the book—it was written in Old Norse—but Odin had no problem with it. He skimmed through the pages with ease. As he did, my stomach growled, and Azrael chuckled.
“I'll make us some breakfast while he looks for the spell,” Azrael offered.
Az went to work on some eggs and bacon while the Wolf started the coffee and tea. I let them handle it; I needed a moment to think about what magic I should give Trevor if it turned out that I was able to. There was a time when I would have balked at cutting away a part of my soul; at the idea of binding myself so thoroughly to anyone. But now, I would do anything to protect my family. I would torture and kill or be tortured and killed. I would give up body parts or soul parts. Anything. They are my world and it was about time that my world was complete.
Halfway through breakfast—long after Kirill had returned without Lesya—Odin ran off to acquire the items needed for the spell.
“Meet me in the Southern tower,” he called back to us. “And put on something white.”
The Southern tower was where I had conducted the ritual to return a soul; twice. I'd brought back Odin and then Toby there. It appeared that I was going to heal Trevor's soul there as well. I looked at the men around me and they nodded; whatever happened, we'd deal with it together. This was worth the risk; we all knew it.
So, we finished breakfast in silence. Then the Wolf and I dressed in white, and we all headed up to the circular room in the top of the Southern tower. There are towers at all four corners of Pride Palace, in addition to the two that bracketed my balcony. The towers aligned with compass points—yes; on purpose. I'd been a witch before anything else. Well, in this life, at least.
We had to go down one floor to get to the tower entrance. Below that, the towers held storerooms that could be accessed on each floor. But on the fifth floor, each of them held a spiral staircase that led up to a lookout room. I had meant to use all of the towers for magic, but I didn't do a lot of human spells anymore and god spells didn't usually need things like directional altars. As far as faerie spells, the only ones I've ever done were of the soul variety; the ones that did better in the South tower.
In the bare, stone room at the top of the stone stairs, we found Odin pouring a ring of salt. The book was laid open within the circle; sitting beside a dish of herbs, a gold cord, and a copper incense burner. All of this was laid on a white cloth and illuminated by a white candle. White candles had also been placed at each of the four directional points within the circle; their little flames burning valiantly.
To either side of the cloth altar were white pallets. Odin waved the Wolf and me into the circle, closed it by connecting the ring of salt, and then directed us to each lie on one of the pallets.
“This feels awfully familiar,” I observed.
“It is,” Odin agreed. “In order to give Trevor a part of your soul, you must first remove it from your body.”
“I have to astral project?” I asked.
“Correct.” Odin was in his serious god mode. “I will burn the herbs at the required times, but that's all I can do for you. You will need to pull yourself to Trevor and then”—Odin paused and took a deep breath—“you will have to tear a piece of your soul away and place it within his.”
“That sounds painful,” Azrael said.
“It most likely will be,” Odin said. “But I don't think that will sway Vervain.”
I shook my head no and winked at the Wolf.
“Can't I just cut it from her with my scythe?” Azrael asked.
“Do you know how to cut a piece of a soul away without taking all of it?” Odin countered.
Azrael grimaced.
“I didn't think so,” Odin said without rancor. “Only our wife will be able to sense exactly what Trevor needs and exactly how much of it to give him. Trust your instincts, Vervain.”
“That's it?” I asked. “Trust my instincts?”
“One more thing,” Odin lifted the gold cord from the altar cloth. “Look familiar?”
“It's similar to the cord I use to pull myself out of my body,” I said. “Although this cord is physical and the other is spiritual.”
“Yes; this is a physical representation of a spiritual cord,” Odin said as he tied one end around the Wolf's wrist. He returned to me and tied the other end to my wrist. “Use the spiritual cord above you to pull your soul free and then you should be able to see this cord binding you to Trevor; it will also become spiritual. Use it to pull yourself to him.”
“I can just float over,” I said. “Is the cord really necessary?”
“It's part of the spell,” Odin said. “It links your souls together. Trevor will have to project as well, and then your souls will need to come into touching distance. That's much harder to do than it sounds. Outside of the Void, souls are more elusive; you'll need a tether. Trust me.”
“Okay, I understand,” I said as I laid down.
I heard Odin explaining everything to the Wolf, but I was already relaxing into a meditative state. I knew this process fairly well. I barely needed the scent of the burning herbs to encourage my soul to fly. All I needed was the intent to help my husband.
I opened my mental eyes and saw a glowing golden cord hanging above me. When I reached for it, I reached with my true self instead of my body, and I saw a translucent version of my hands grab hold of the cord and pull. It was a longer process than I remembered; inching up that line until I was free of my body. Then I was floating above my husbands; looking down on my still body and their worried faces. All except for the Wolf; who was both lying quietly on his pallet and floating beside me.