No Where to Run (The Story of Alexis Rose)

by Raven K. Asher

  No Where to Run

  The Story of Alexis Rose

  Book One

  By: Raven K. Asher

  Text copyright ©Raven K. Asher 2014

  This publication is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws, and all rights are reserved, including resale rights: you are not allowed to give, copy, scan, distribute or sell this book to anyone else.

  Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if we use one of these terms.

  Any people or places are strictly fictional and not based on anything else, fictional or non-fictional.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  To my loving husband who always supported me, and to my two beautiful daughters, who put up with “hold on mommy’s writing”. This is for you.

  Chapter 1

  Monday, August 26th

  Lying in bed from another sleepless night I reach over to shut off the alarm that is screaming some country rock song. I don't know what the name of it is or who it’s even sung by. That is how things have been, since my dad left us.

  "Alexis!" My mom, Kathy, screams from downstairs.

  Oh shit, it seems she is going to be in a mood this morning. Jumping out of bed, I rush out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom. I jump into the shower and scrub myself down quickly, washing and my hair and rinsing it.

  Minutes later I turn off the water and towel myself dry quickly and rush to my room to get dressed. Grabbing my brush on the dresser I begin the task of brushing out my long golden blond hair. I stare in shock for a moment as I look into the mirror. Not believing how long it had gotten. It’s clear down to my waist!

  It's amazing the things you don't take notice of when you live as a shell of yourself. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm myself. The last thing I need to do is have a panic attack. I look at myself in the mirror again, I look sad and that is putting it nicely. I actually look downright depressed, which I guess I am. I sigh and force myself to smile but it quickly turns back into a frown.

  Today is going to be my first day back to school since the accident. It has been six full months. For which I have been hiding from everyone and everything. The cuts and bruises had healed early on but my heart is still left broken. It feels as if I lost a big piece of myself and that I will never get it back. I pray and ask God day after day why I survived and dad hadn’t. I never did get an answer. Now I mostly do it out of habit hoping that maybe someday my prayers will be answered. I guess I should have given up on praying to a God who doesn’t seem to listen, a long time ago.

  I had just turned eighteen and I decided that today was going to be my day to get back to life. To living the way my dad would have wanted me to. I just wish it wasn’t so hard.

  "Alexis, you’re going to be late!" My mom screams again.

  "I’m coming, mom!" I yell out my door. I curse as I finish getting myself ready. Quickly putting on my clothes, and then sliding on a pair of sandals. I run my fingers through my still wet hair and decide that I’ll have to just let it air dry, since I don’t have time to blow it dry. I groan. I hate having my hair wet.

  Promptly taking one last look in the mirror, I look closely at all five foot, six inches and one hundred ten pounds of myself. I’ve got curves in all the right places that most girls want. I have an hour glass figure, as my late grandmother use to tell me. My eyes are a deep blue, like my dad’s and my golden blonde hair is like my moms. I’m wearing a pair of tight, dark boot cut jeans and a plain black v-neck baby doll shirt. I haven’t cared much for fashion like I did before. I had always been up to date on the newest fashions, but since my dad died I didn’t see the reason in caring about it much. There were so many things that were more important in life. Too bad I didn’t realize that till after I lost one of the most important things in my life. I guess that was a good thing though, that I didn’t worry about what I wore. At least no one would notice me as much.

  "You can do this." I mumble to my reflection.

  "Are you talking to yourself again, sis?" My fraternal twin brother Duncan asks from the doorway.

  I shake my head no, and grab my bag. I try to push past him but he stands in my way watching me. I look up at him and force myself to smile. He is only a few inches taller than me, has dark brown shaggy hair that is a lot like our dads had been, and his deep blue eyes are just like mine. He’s wearing a light gray tee shirt and dark wash boot cut jeans with a few tears in them, along with his dark brown cowboy boots. He loves those damn boots. It sends a jolt through my heart as I study his features. It’s almost as if a younger version of our father is standing before me.

  "Are you going to be ok today, Lex?" My brother asks in a soft voice.

  "Yeah, I’ll be ok." I reply, finally pushing past him. I have to get away before I break down. My brother had been my best friend for the past few months, my shoulder to cry on, he was the only reason I kept on living.

  He had taken on the job that my mother should have. Instead of caring for us, our mother took to drinking and staying out late. She was hardly around and when she was, it always meant trouble for Duncan and me.

  "Alexis Rose! Did you not hear me yelling?" Mom yells the moment I take a step into the kitchen. She is sitting at the table with a mug of coffee and a bottle of Jack Daniels next to it. She drinks it in almost everything she has. I bet if she could somehow inject into food and still get drunk, she probably would.

  "Yes mom, I heard you. I’m sorry, I was getting ready and came down as fast as I could." I sigh in relief as Duncan comes into the kitchen and stands by my side. He is always the one who has been able to easily diffuse mom’s anger. I tense up as mom gives me an angry glassy eyed glare.

  "I don't want to hear your excuses, Alexis. You would never have given you father excuses. You were always his favorite, his good girl. Now you are nothing but a smart mouthed brat." My mother barks out, she looks at me with so much anger, like everything that went wrong in her life was somehow my entire fault. I feel Duncan’s hand brush against mine in comfort.

  "Mom, why don't you go, and get some sleep. Lexi and me are going to get to school before we’re late." states my brother in a stern, no nonsense voice as he grabs my hand and pulls me to the front door. I suck back the tears that are quickly forming in my eyes. I won't let myself cry today. Why does she always have to be so mean? Duncan glances to me and pulls me into a quick hug. “Don’t let mom get to you, Lex. You know deep down she still loves you.” I nod absently.

  "I can do this. I can do this." I whisper to myself over and over as we continue to walk over to his big, black lifted F-150 truck. Dad had gotten him this truck on our last Christmas together. I had gotten a newer red Mustang. It's the car that I wrecked, the car that ruined our family. I shake those thoughts from my head immediately and climb into the passenger seat. I run my hand absently along the soft gray leather seats to calm myself as Duncan starts the truck and backs out of the drive.

  I look back at our house. It�
��s a large two story home with four bedrooms, two and a half baths. It’s a ranch style home with light tan siding and dark brown shudders on the windows and a fancy red front door, and it also has an attached garage to the side. The front porch runs the entire front of the house and has two large comfy swings to sit on. We had spent a lot of time on that porch as a family when my dad was around. We also had a large barn located farther behind the house. It had matching siding and windows along with big red barn doors. The house sat in the middle of twenty acres of land, so there are no neighboring houses to be seen, only a dense forest of trees. The seclusion was one of the main reasons my parents, mainly my dad, had bought it.

  I take notice of the overgrown bushes out front. They look in need of a good trim. Dad had always been the one to do that, he had always kept the house in tip top condition. I also notice that the grass is on the shaggy side too, and I instantly feel like a horrible, lazy, sister. Duncan must have been struggling, trying to keep up with everything by himself. I silently vow right then that I’d be a better sister and help him out more.

  ****

  After a short drive we pull into a space in the student parking lot. The school is a large brick two story building with smaller wings on either side. It was a small town school where everyone knew everybody and everyone’s business. Sitting in the passenger seat I stare out at the building and the kids roaming around the outside.

  My breathing becomes heavier and I place my hand to my chest as it starts to feel like someone is squeezing the life out of me. I’m having a panic attack. I quickly glance to Duncan who has thankful noticed the panic written on my face. It had been a while since I had had one of them. My head starts getting fuzzy and I feel as if I can’t get enough oxygen to my lungs.

  "Lexi, just breathe. Just take a deep breath. You can do this, I know you can." Duncan's words and his hand grabbing mine, swiftly pull me out of the fog. I take a deep breath then let it out slowly.

  "I can do this." I agree as I take another deep breath in and let it out slowly. I can feel myself finally calming down.

  "Lex, I know this is hard but this will be good for you. It's a step in the right direction. Dad would have wanted you to go on with your life." My brother says with so much conviction as he watches the students wondering around, out the front windshield. I am so lucky to have him.

  "I know, Dunc. Let’s go get this over with." I immediately open my door and leap out of the truck, before my nerves can get the best of me again. I shut my door, and sprint around the truck to my brothers’ side. As I look up at him, he gives me a quick wink.

  "You got this, sis." He says with a smile, before walking toward the school. His friends from the football team flock around him along with his on-again/off-again girlfriend, Becka. She smiles at me and gives a little wave.

  She hates my guts normally, but she’s always overly sweet to me, especially when my brother is around. She’s a very pretty girl, with short shoulder length light brown hair and bright brown doe eyes. She has the curves all the guys like, but she has the worst personality, she had always been jealous of the attention I had gotten. I was the kind of girl who most guys typically went for, blonde, curvy and sweet. I had been the cheer captain, straight a student, and a bit of a teacher’s pet. I had been friends with pretty much everyone, and she hated it. I give her a small wave back and continue on my way towards the school.

  My gaze quickly slides over to the group of tables near the front entrance and I notice my friends watching my approach. Melody “Mel” had been my best friend, before the accident. She had short dark brown wavy hair, brown eyes. She was short and thin, and had more of a boyish figure, but she made up for it with her larger than life personality. I smile slightly as she waves me over. I pause and began to feel myself panic again. I was completely terrified that they would act differently around me. Taking a deep breath I remind myself that they are still my friends, and that I can do this. I gradually walk toward them.

  Lucy and Katie are there along with twin brothers Kane and Kale. Unlike me and Duncan they were identical twins. Both of them had jet black, short cut hair and emerald green eyes. Kale’s hair was kept a little longer and he always looked as if he just rolled out of bed. Kane had more of a styled perfection to his hair. Both were tall, at six foot, two inches, tan and physically fit. They turned girls into mush everywhere they went. Both are wearing their normal tight white tee shirts and low rise worn out jeans along with deep brown work boots. It was unusual to see them in anything else since both of them worked hard on their father’s farm when they weren’t in school.

  Then there is Lucy and Katie, they were the two lucky girls that had caught Kane and Kale’s attentions. Lucy was more of a Goth type chick. She was a tiny bit taller than me but had a slim body with smaller curves, long straight black hair, and dark charcoal around her light blue eyes. She wore black skinny jeans and a deep red baby doll tee with deep red wedge heeled sandals. Lucy was outgoing and always dramatic, where as Katie was more like me, blonde hair, blue eyes, short and curvy, but she was super quiet and shy. Katie was sitting between Kane's knees. She was wearing a short black skirt with a low cut white shirt. She also had on white sandals with at least a three inch heel, and they laced up her legs to her knees. She glances up and gives a small shy smile and wave.

  Lucy is sitting next to Kale on the top of the table and I watch as she whispers something to Kale. He nods, then jumps off the table to jog over and greet me. Kale had always been like a second brother to me. We had been great friends even before kindergarten. As he reaches me, he grabs me in a big bear hug, and then scuffs up my hair like an older brother would do to a little sister.

  "Hey!" I yell, but I can't hold back my giggles.

  "I knew I could get my monkey to smile." Kale laughs out. He had called me monkey since first grade, after we went on a field trip to the zoo. He had said I smiled like the monkeys.

  "You’re never going to stop calling me monkey, are you?" I mock pout and roll my eyes.

  "Never." He replies with a goofy grin and scuffs my hair again. Good god by the time he’s done it’s going to be a wreck. I smile ever so sweetly at him, while behind his back I raise my hand and smack the back of his head. I giggle loudly as I take off running toward our friends. It was just like old times. He had completely gotten me to forget about everything else.

  I skid to a stop right before approaching the table, my nerves suddenly getting the better of me, yet again. I felt horrible that I hadn't talked to any of them in months, and I felt like an awful friend for shutting them all out. I smile timidly as I walk the last few feet to them.

  "Hey, guys." I choke out, with tears rapidly building in my eyes. God this is hard. I blink hard a few times, getting angry that I let my emotions get the best of me.

  Mel stands and abruptly grabs me into a big hug, then steps back after a few minutes and pulls me to the table to sit next to her. I loosen up as everyone starts talking about classes and the crazy things I had missed while I was gone. We end up laughing so hard at Lucy’s dramatic story of her dinner date “mishap” at Kales parents’ house, that I have tears running down my face. They were joyful tears and at that moment I became conscious of how much I had really missed my friends.

  “I really missed you guys.” I bow my head in shame. “I’m sorry for shutting you all out. Forgive me?” Kane stands and comes over to me; putting his hand on my shoulder, he leans in to look me in the eyes.

  “Of course we forgive you, Lexi. We are still your friends and we all understand why you pushed us away. We all kept our distance waiting for you to come back to us. We didn’t want to force anything on you that you weren’t ready for.” I look around at my friends and they all nod in agreement. I feel as if a huge weight has suddenly been lifted off my shoulders.

  “Thanks guys, you are all the best. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”I let out a small sigh and then groan when the bell rings. We all walk in together, Mel stays by my side as much as our class s
chedules allow. We have most of our classes together and whatever classes I didn't have with Mel I had with Lucy, Katie, Kane or Kale.

  ****

  When the last bell of the day rings I walk out of the classroom with Kane. We meet the others by my locker. I smile to myself. It had been a good day. It was almost as if I had never left. No one whispered and no one treated me any differently, but I knew I wasn’t that same naive girl I was before. I had changed drastically in the last six months.

  "Hey guys, are we all going to “The Diner”?" Lucy asks as she approaches. The Diner as it was actually called was a place we had all hung out daily before the accident. They had great food and the owner had been good friends with my father.

  "Yeah." says Katie, Kale, Mel and Kane nods silently. They all turn and look to me. I take a moment to think. I can't go to The Diner, yet. If I go to I have to see him, and I don't think I can handle that today.

  “I can't guys. I would love to go with you guys, but you know why I can't. I don't even think I can face him." They all know who I’m referring to. I turn back to my locker and will him from my mind.

  He had been my boyfriend before the accident. He had stood by my side till I pushed him away. My excuse was that he had reminded me too much of my old life. It was a lame excuse and I now felt guilty that I had pushed him away, too. I didn’t even know how to even begin to make things right with him. He had been my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. He was a year older than me and had graduated the year before. We had made plans of being together forever and I had always dreamt of us getting married and having kids, being the perfect couple and family. After the accident all those dreams just didn’t seem so significant to me anymore. I still loved him deep down, but I also know I broke his heart. I was worried now that he would hate me, and that we could never even be friends again.

  "Lucca probably isn't even working today. I think it would be safe to go. Please monkey. Please come with us?" Pleads Kale with a sad puppy dog face, it was so ridiculous that I had to force back my smile.