"I can't take that chance yet, Kale. I don’t even know what I’d say if I saw him, I’m just not ready for that step yet. Soon I promise I'll come with you guys.... just give me time, Ok?" I reply quietly, looking down at my feet. I didn't want to see the disappointment in their eyes for me. I felt plenty enough for us all.
"That’s fine, chicka. When you’re ready you'll be ready. We won't push you into anything. We all love you. You know that." Mel says and I look at each of them as they nod. To know and see how much they all cared about me, warmed my heart. I felt so much love and strength from them at that moment. My vision blurs with tears and lucky for me Duncan chooses that moment to wrap an arm around me, pulling me into a hug.
“Hey, guys.” He greets the others. They all give him quick greetings back. "Are you ready to leave sis?"
"Yep, I’m ready." I whisper and nod.
I wave goodbye to my friends as my brother and I walk out to his truck. I hop up into the passenger seat and instantly burst into tears. I couldn't hold them back anymore. It was a relief that the day was over and I was happy things weren't utterly awkward with my friends, but I was overwhelmed with emotion when I thought about Lucca. I missed him dearly. But I knew life couldn’t go completely back to the way things were.
Duncan wordlessly pulls me across the seat and into his lap, where he holds me tightly till my tears stop. I’m grateful he never asks why or what happened to cause my break down, he just keeps holding me till I feel in control. He always knew just what I needed and when I needed it.
Crawling back over to the passenger seat while wiping my eyes, I peek out the window. I see my friends watching me with concern and sadness written clearly on their faces. I look away in shame while Duncan starts the truck and pulls away. I’m entirely embarrassed that they saw me falling apart. I never wanted them to see that.
****
As we arrived home I all but leap out of the truck. I run past the house to the barn that houses our two horses. I hadn’t seen them since before the accident. My pace slows as I walk closer. Duncan strolls up behind me and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder, then walks past me, up to my horse, Tornado.
"See boy, I told you she would come back to us." My brother croons to the large black horse while rubbing the horses face. He had been a gift from my dad for my sixteenth birthday. I raised him from a young colt to the full grown beauty he was now. I stand and watch as my brother leads Tornado from his stall. My heart hurts. I had neglected him for far too long. I run up to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
"I'm so sorry, baby boy. I'm so sorry I left you." I cry into his neck. He bends his head to nuzzle into my back, almost in a hug. If horses could hug I'm guessing that’s what it would be like. I glance back to my brother and smile a teary eyed smile. He smiles back and nods. He knew I was silently thanking him for taking care of Tornado in my absence.
"Want me to saddle him up for you, sis?" My brother asks with a knowing smirk. He knew what my answer would be. He knew how free I felt when going for a ride. He felt the same freedom.
"Hell, yes!"I reply with a huge grin on my face. To go out for a long ride is exactly what I need to clear my mind.
Duncan saddles Tornado, then hurries to saddle his own horse, Cutter. Dad had gotten Cutter around the same time I had gotten Tornado. My brother had complained for days that I had always gotten the coolest pets. So our dad went out and bought him his own horse. Dad always spoiled us with whatever we wanted. Even when Duncan went through his as I called it “wild man days”. He did everything we asked, from camping to fishing to even hunting. He was always trying teaching us "useful skills" as he called it, to us it was just fun.
“Hey Dunc, do you remember when dad tried to teach us how to fish?” I smile and think back to that day.
“Yeah, I remember. How could I forget? I still have that scar from that damn hook you put in my lip.” I giggle and he laughs out. My laughter dies down.
“I really miss him, Duncan.”
“I do too, sis.” Duncan states sadly before mounting up in his saddle and snapping the reins for Cutter to take off running. I lead Tornado out of the barn and quickly follow suit mounting up and taking off at a full run.
I catch up to Duncan and he lets out a loud yell. I laugh and do the same as I raise my hands above my head, feeling the wind blow through my hair. I close my eyes and take in the sounds around me, the thundering of the horse’s hooves hitting the ground, the dry grass brushing against their legs. I lift my face to feel the warmth of the sun and smile, I finally feel whole and free.
“I’ll race you, sister bear.” My brother laughs out and I open my eyes.
“You’re on, brother bear.” I grin and he lets me have a head start, before quickly catching up to me and passing me. I pat Tornados neck and urge him on to go faster.
As we race through the fields and I soak in the freedom, wishing that I didn’t have to return to reality.
Chapter 2
Tuesday, August 27th
Early the next morning, I awoke even before my alarm went off. I hadn't slept so well since before the accident. It always haunted my dreams. I was pleased that I didn't have any haunting dreams for once. I sit up in bed and smile a genuine smile.
School had gone well the day before, and I was looking forward to going again today.
The trail ride with my brother was freeing, too. We rode for what felt like hours, pushing our horses to their limits. We were all exhausted by the time we returned home but we were laughing and smiling, even the horse’s spirits seemed to be lifted.
I immediately decide to jump into the shower early, before Duncan can use up the hot water. I feel completely relaxed standing under the hot water. I still refused to look at myself as I washed, I had scars from the wreck and I didn't want to bring those memories flooding back, at least not for today. I hear a loud pounding on the bathroom door but ignore it, knowing its only Duncan and I want a few more minutes under the hot water.
"Hey! Come on don't use up the hot water, Lex! There are others in this house who would like to shower, too!" Duncan whines as he continues to pound on the bathroom door.
I finish up and turn off the water. Then wrap a soft towel tightly around myself, since I didn’t think to grab my clothes.
Again, my brother pounds on the door impatiently. "Hurry up, Lex."
"Geez, I'm done. No need for the rush.” I head to the door. “Whoa, slow down stinky." I laugh out as Duncan pushes the door open and rushes past. On second thought, oh my god did he smell bad. I pinch my nose and scrunch my face.
"What the hell Dunc? Did you swim in the horse pooh?" I squeak out, waving my other hand around to clear the air of the horrible smell.
"Ha! No, I didn't swim in it. Your horse decided to be a jokester and threw me in the compost pile." He was trying to be angry, but the smile gave him away. He had been outsmarted by the beast.
"He got you good, then. He always did like to make you stink." I laugh out again, before shutting the door and walking to my room. The smell lingers clear down the hall. Yuck! Mom was really going to hate that. That is, if she was even around. Judging by how quiet it was, my best guess was that either she wasn't home or she was passed out, either in her room or on the living room couch. I groan and begin to get ready for the day.
I glance out my bedroom window, the sun shines brightly through. It looks like it’s going to be another hot day, so I opt to dress in my favorite pair of skinny jeans and a lacey pale pink halter top, with ballet flats. I loved the summer, but I couldn't wait for fall to arrive. Fall was one of my favorite seasons, warm sweat shirts, hot chocolate and campfires, along with cuddling on the couch with a cute guy. My mind immediately goes to Lucca and back to all the things we did together last fall, we had been together for two years. I shake my head. I miss him.
A little while later, Duncan knocks on my door. “You have five minutes, sis, or I’m leaving without ya.”
“I’m coming.” I yell as I put on som
e eyeliner and add a touch of lip gloss to my lips, and then brush my damp hair out. I head downstairs and silently pass the couch, where mom is passed out. I roll my eyes and meet Duncan by the front door. Looking back at our mom, I let out a slight sigh. I wish there was something that could be done to help her, but she didn’t want help. I still love her and it hurts to see her like that.
I step out the door shutting and locking it, and then move toward the truck.
“You look really nice, sis..... And you look happy. Happy is good." He mumbles the last part to himself while smiling. I smile back knowing he didn't mean for me to hear it, but it feels good knowing he is pleased that I am feeling better.
He clears his throat and turns to jump into the driver’s side of the truck, I follow suit into the passenger side. The drive to school is quiet but thankfully quick. As soon as we are in the lot I nearly jump out of the truck and run over to the tables where my friends sit each morning.
Duncan comes running up behind me."Damn, Lex your fast, I almost couldn’t keep up. I thought for a minute your pants were on fire." He jokes while panting to catch his breath. I didn't even realize that I was panting just as hard from the run. I was just excited and couldn't wait to see everyone. I look around at my friends they are all present, but Lucy. I look around for her. Maybe she was late getting here?
"Where's Lucy?"
"She's out sick today. I called her this morning and she sounded terrible. She was up all night coughing and throwing up.”Kale answers then gestures absently around at the other students. “Everyone has been getting sick lately."
"Yeah, I heard what’s going around is bad. It's some sort of crazy flu. I even heard some people have even died from it." Mel exclaims.
"My mom has had it for the past week. She hasn't even let me around her to help her through it. She's too afraid I’ll get it, too." Katie says quietly.
"The news this morning said they were trying to come up with some sort of vaccine to help prevent it from spreading, maybe even cure it." Duncan chimes in beside me.
"Maybe we should go visit her after school. See how she's doing. I know her mom works crazy hours at the hospital, so she's probably lonely. I bet if we brought her some soup it would cheer her up a bit." I declare.
"I'll go with you. I'm really worried about her." Kale states quietly.
"I'll go too, sis." Duncan says, placing a hand on my shoulder.
Kane stands abruptly. “You guys are crazy to go over to her house. She could easily make you all sick. You've got to think about this. That so called flu has killed people, as in dead, guys. It's too dangerous." Kane roars out at us. His angry gaze glued to his brother.
Kale bows his head and shakes his head. "I don't care. I'm going with or without you guys. She's my girl and I have to make sure she’s ok." Kale whispers. He looks up at me with unshed tears in his eyes. I nod letting him know I’ll still go with him.
"You’re all f-ing crazy!" Shouts Kane. He throws his hands in the air, and then walks away cursing.
"I'm sorry guys, but Katie and I are with Kane. We are not going to go with you guys.” She gestures between herself and Katie. Katie nods along with Mel as she talks. “This flu is dangerous. If you do choose to go, please be careful. Think it through and be smart." Mel expresses. They both gave brief smiles, before turning and walking away, following after Kane.
"Well, looks like it’s just us three crazy stooges that are going into the lion’s den." I glance to both Duncan and Kale, I heave a sigh as I wrap my arms around both of their necks and they bob their heads in agreement. We walk to the school and part ways at the door I look back as Duncan pats Kales shoulder and walks away. Kale bows his head and walks in another direction and I walk to my class with a heavy heart. It’s going to be a long day.
****
Finally, the last period bell rings. But before I can rush out into the hall, Kane stops me. “Please talk some sense into my brother, Lex.”
“Kane, I’m not going to be able to stop him, you know that. That’s why I’m going with him, to make certain that he is careful. Maybe Lucy isn’t all that bad. It could be a different kind of cold that she has.” I put my hand to his shoulder. “I’ll make sure he stays a safe distance away. He’s just worried about her, and seeing her for a few minutes will fix that.”
He nods but still looks distressed. “Just make sure he doesn’t get too close, I really don’t want to deal with him getting sick, too.” I nod in agreement, and then rush out of the classroom, into the hall. The day has been so terribly long. At times it had felt as if time had stopped. It took all my will not to sit and watch the time tick by on the clocks in each classroom.
As I hurry through the halls to my locker, I notice that the halls aren’t as packed as they normally are. There must be a lot of kids out sick or their parents are keeping them home. I shrug it off and stop by my locker. Kale is already there waiting patiently for me. I decide not to tell him about Kane stopping me after class.
"Duncan said he'd meet us out by his truck." I nod as I grab my bag and shut my locker. Kale grabs my hand and we set off to meet Duncan.
As we approach the truck I hear Becka ranting. I roll my eyes and so does Kale. We stop beside the truck to listen. Here we go again. She is always causing some sort of drama.
"Come on Duncan baby, you can let your sister go by herself. She's a big girl." She whines.
"No Becka, I already told her I'd go and I'm going for Kale, too. He's my friend." He clenches his hands into fists at his sides. I can tell he is in no mood for her games.
"Fine, Duncan.” She huffs. “I can see what’s more important to you. I guess I’ll just have to go find someone else to take care of my needs." She stomps her foot on the ground like a two year old and I quickly slap my hand over my mouth to hold in a giggle. It’s too funny to watch her have a little dramatic meltdown.
"My family is my first priority Becka, always, and if you can't realize that, then I don’t need you around." Snarls Duncan.
It’s brutal but I’m glad that it’s finally coming to this. He doesn’t need her drama anymore. He was far too good for her.
"Fine!" she wails throwing her hands dramatically in the air. "You’re nothing but a waste of my time anyway. Connor has been giving me what you haven't for months anyway!" She storms around the truck and I step into her path. She gasps with surprise, and then glares at me as she tries to shove me out of her way, but Kale holds me up.
I point at her and look her over with an angry glare of my own."Look Becka, my brother has always been too good for you. You are nothing but a selfish, ungrateful little twat. I hope you’re happy with Connor.” I smile sweetly and continue. “Last I heard he was with Brittany, too. Hope you like sharing." I could have said so much more but I bite my tongue and move out of her way.
“You are a stupid bitch and your brother’s an asshole. I'll get you both back for this." She mutters as she storms passed.
"Crap." I look up at Kale. We both knew she would try to get some sort of revenge. She plays dirty and always tries to have the last laugh. Kale just shakes his head as we walk around the truck just in time to see my brother punch and dent in the side of his door panel. My brother is strong but it shows just how angry he truly is. I rush to him and take his bloody hand in mine inspecting it closely for broken bones, but thankfully I can't find any. It had started to swell though. “That wasn’t very smart was it?” I ask him with a frown.
“Not now, sis.” He winces in pain as I push gently against his bleeding knuckles. I grab his keys.
“Why don’t you ride in the back of the truck and try to calm down a bit?” He nods stiffly, and then carefully climbs in the bed of the truck. He sits down and cradles his hand to his chest, leaning his head against the window. He’s in a good bit of pain so I grab the first aid kit out of the truck.
“Here, patch yourself up.” I throw it to him and watch as he gently pulls out what he needs.
"Want me to drive?" Kale inquires from
behind me. I nod, still watching my brother bandage his hand and absently hand Kale the keys. I close my eyes then take a deep breath and slowly make my way to the passenger side of the truck.
I jump in and turn to look at Kale who has a mischievous gleam in his eye. Oh no what is he thinking? I laugh loudly when he shrugs his eyebrows up and down a few times. Kale knows Duncan never lets anyone drive his truck and he’s going to take advantage of his one chance to drive it while he can. I try to hold back my laughter but it only makes me want to laugh harder. I’m grateful for him wanting to lighten the mood. At hearing my laughter, Duncan knocks on the window. Both Kale and I glance back to see him staring at us with a stern but playful look on his face, he lifts his now bandaged hand and points his finger to Kale, shaking his head.
"Dude, do not even think about it. I will come up there and kick your ass." He bellows, with a growing smile on his face. He knew it was useless to threaten Kale.
Kale’s grin widens as he turns the key and peels out of the parking lot. My brother slides around in the back laughing and cursing like a sailor, yelling out all the ways he’s going to kick Kale's ass. Kale of course keeps taking sharp turns, egging him on. I can’t help but laugh out hysterically.
We all quiet down as we finally pull up to Lucy's house which is a one story, two bedroom home. It’s just enough for Lucy and her mother to share. It’s a cute little house with white siding, a dark wooden door and red shutters. The yard looks freshly trimmed and I can smell the scent of fresh cut grass in the faint breeze coming through the trucks rolled down windows.
"Are you sure she's home?" I inquire, studying the small house. My anxiety quickly notches back up. No lights are on and there are no cars parked in the small driveway. It looks completely empty of life. Kale looks to his phone then back to me, nodding his head. His eyebrows pinch forward, deep in thought.
No Where to Run (The Story of Alexis Rose) Page 2