by Katee Robert
Fifteen minutes later, Beast is opening the door so I can walk through with Isabelle still in my arms. I haven’t spent any time in these rooms—I prefer my own bed and the idea of sleeping next to someone was too much of a reminder of sleeping next to Isabelle, which was no longer an option. It’s decorated with the same understated opulence that the rest of the club is. This room is all shades of soothing blue and stark white, its bed large enough to fit me and the other two without issues. Three narrow windows stretch from the floor the ceiling on the other side of the room, giving us a glimpse of Carver City through the sheer curtains. In the corner is a dry bar and a small fridge.
It’ll do.
Isabelle shifts in my arms. She’s coming down, sleepy and cuddly and too fucking cute, and it’s harder than it should be to set her on the bed. She blinks up at us both. “We should talk.”
For the first time since we started this thing, the idea of actually talking it out doesn’t make me want to get the fuck out of the room. “Yeah, I guess we should.”
Beast goes to the mini fridge in the corner and comes back with bottled water. He passes one to each of us and climbs onto the bed next to Isabelle. He barely waits for me to get settled on her other side to drop a verbal bomb on us. “I want both of you.”
Even though I’m expecting it, even though he said something similar in the storage room, I still choke on my drink. “You’re fucking with me.” I’d let myself believe his claim of mine was just another shade of that scene, that it didn’t really mean anything. I really should have known better.
“You heard me.” He looks at me and then her. “I’m done with choices, princess. We tried that before and it blew up in our faces. It’s time for something different.”
Isabelle has gone very, very still, but I can’t spare a thought for her because I’m too busy staring at Beast. Where the fuck does he get off putting that out there as if he’s the only one who gets a choice in this situation? He decided he doesn’t want her to choose so that’s that. “You are such a selfish asshole.”
Beast doesn’t blink. “Guilty.”
“You don’t just get to decide for all three of us that this is what’s happening. This wasn’t part of the bargain.”
He shrugs. “Tell me you don’t want me, that the idea of the three of us trying to figure it out doesn’t tempt you a little.”
“I don’t want you. The three of us doesn’t tempt me even a little.”
The bastard smirks. “Yeah, now try it again with some honesty.”
I open my mouth to repeat my words, but they don’t come. But, fuck him, he’s right. I do want him. The last year has made it clear that my hate for Beast was all wrapped up in situational stuff. In our competition for Isabelle’s love, for Orsino’s favor. Without those things in play, I don’t actually mind the guy. More, I respect the hell out of his ability to get the job done, out of his crafty as fuck mind, out of the way he fills out a pair of jeans.
But even that’s not completely honest. If I’m being honest, I can admit that half my hate for him was wrapped up in thwarted lust, in a strange sort of jealousy that I can’t untangle. I couldn’t have him, couldn’t face the fact that I wanted him, so it was easier to loathe him.
So, yeah, I want him. Maybe I’ve always wanted him,
It doesn’t make this the right call.
As for the three of us together…
My chest aches just thinking about it. Walking away from Isabelle almost killed me. There were whole weeks I barely remember because I was basically the walking dead after that relationship ended. It took ending up in the Underworld one night and Tink ripping me a new one mid-scene for me to snap out of it.
It took another six months and change to crawl out of that goddamn hole.
If that happened after having and losing her, how much worse will it be when this experiment of Beast’s invariably fails? I’ll fall for him. If I’m honest with myself, I’m already halfway there. Maybe more than halfway. I’ll go tumbling head over heels for this goddamn heaven he’s offering, and then when he gets bored or Isabelle gets spooked, they’ll walk. And I’ll be left worse off than before.
My voice is rough when I finally find the words. “It’ll never work.”
It’s Isabelle who turns to look up at me, all wide brown eyes filled with hope. “But what if it does?”
Chapter 24
Isabelle
This has to be another trap, another mind-fuck, but I don’t care. I’m terrified by how much I want what Beast offers. The three of us. Something I never dared hope for, something that feels so right, I could weep.
But Gaeton doesn’t look convinced. Someone else might look at his expression and think he’s furious with Beast for even speaking the words, but I know him better than that. He’s just as terrified as I am.
I carefully move to my knees, putting me at eye level with him. I wish with all my heart that there was something I could do to banish the uncertainty from him, but it’s circling my chest, too. Making this decision, going forward with this I’ll lose the one thing I once valued above all else. I can’t be free while I’m owned by these two men. They’re too dominant, too protective, too determined to put their stamp on my very soul and ruin me for anyone else. If I say yes to this, I’m giving up the hope of one day leaving Carver City.
I close my eyes. It was a false dream, anyways. I have to admit that to myself, even if I haven’t been able to admit it to anyone else. I am Orsino Belmonte’s daughter. I was never leaving this city, was never having a life outside the responsibilities of the territory. I was never going to be normal.
When I open my eyes again, it’s to find Gaeton looking like he’s torn between throwing himself at us and leaving the room as quickly as possible. I can’t dredge up a smile to comfort him, not when I’m so unsure myself. Not when there’s still so much burned and salted ground between us. “It’s okay if you can’t forgive me, Gaeton. It’s …” It’s so hard to get this out. Setting him free is the last thing I want, which makes me a bigger hypocrite than I can ever say. I swallow hard. “I know what I did was unforgivable.”
For a second, he seems like he’s in actual physical pain. He slumps back against the headboard. “It makes a funny kind of sense. If there’s a god, that fucker is laughing his ass off at us right now.” He drags a hand over his face. “You’re not the only one to blame, Isabelle. You were never the only one to blame.”
“But—”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You were right before. We agreed to that fucked up situation, and we both failed to be honest with you. I don’t know about Beast but I just wanted to be good enough for you.” He laughs a little, the sound jagged and sharp. “He calls you princess, but that’s the fucking truth of what I thought. You were a princess and if I just compressed myself enough, I could be your Prince Charming.”
It’s a truth we’ve touched on again and again in the last few days, but hearing him admit to it shakes me to my core. I reach out a tentative hand and place it on his chest. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t want a Prince Charming.”
“No, you want two monsters.” The words hold no venom.
Beast shifts closer, not quite touching either of us. “Monsters are more effective than princes when it comes to keeping what you care about safe.” His blue eyes flare. “They’re better at playing dark games in bed, too.”
I can’t quite fight down a shiver as the memories of the night crash over me. “That’s the damn truth.”
Beast seems to make an effort to bank the heat in his gaze. “We were missing something before. Several somethings. None of us were honest about what we wanted.” He finally looks at Gaeton. “And none of us were getting everything we needed out of it. Closing the triangle will solve that.”
Gaeton’s already shaking his head. “You say that like it’s that easy.”
“It is that easy. I might not have recognized that my hate for you was thwarted lust, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.
” Beast takes my hand, his fingers playing against my wrist. “And Isabelle will never be happy in a monogamous relationship. That was our first sign to get creative, and we would have noticed if we weren’t so wrapped up in competing with each other.”
I pull back. I can’t help it. Beast holds on to my hand a second longer than necessary, as if reminding me that he chooses to let me go. I pull the blanket more firmly around myself, but it doesn’t do a damn thing against the possibilities beating against the barrier around my heart. “Is this an extension of the scene? Some kind of playing pretend?”
“No.” Beast shakes his head. He doesn’t have his cold mask on. Instead he looks almost vulnerable. “An unconventional solution, maybe, but not nearly as unconventional as some people think. I want both of you. There’s not a single fucking reason we shouldn’t be able to make this work.”
I have admitted so many dark truths to these men over the last few days, but somehow this feels like the deepest, darkest truth yet. I lick my lips. “I want you both, too. I love you both. I never stopped, even when I was helping us burn things to the ground last time.”
Gaeton still won’t look at us directly. “What happens when Isabelle gets skittish? Or you get bored? It will fall apart just like it did before.”
“No, it won’t. We’re not trying to have a conventional relationship like we were before.” Beast leans forward. “We’re not lying the way we were before. Something doesn’t work, we talk about it and figure out a way to fix it. There will be some uncomfortable conversations, but it’s a small price to pay.”
Gaeton crosses his arms over his chest. “Uh-huh. And what happens if your long-lost love shows up in Carver City? You’re going to drop us like yesterday’s trash to run off and retake Sabine Valley with him.”
Beast flinches. Actually flinches. “Cohen is dead. He’s been dead for nearly a decade.”
“And if he isn’t?”
I should jump in, should derail this line of questioning, but I’m holding my breath because I want an answer, too. I know about Beast’s ex, of course. I know that he never made it here to meet Beast and that the loss haunts him still. It never occurred to me the man could show up, or what would happen if he did. “Do you know something we don’t?”
“No. But it’s a question that needs to be asked.” He’s staring hard at Beast. “We’re his second choice. Or second and third.”
“No, you’re not second choice. And neither of you is third.” Beast looks like he wants to shut down this line of conversation, but he finally sighs. “I’m not the same person I was nine years ago. If Cohen is still alive, he’s not the same man I fell in love with. He’s my past. You—both of you—are my future. Together. No one above the other.”
I slip my hand back into his. Talking about this can’t be easier than hearing it. He’s trying to lead by example, and as much as I don’t like the idea of Cohen showing up to put it to the test, Gaeton is right. It had to be asked. “This might blow up in our faces.”
“It won’t.”
How can Beast be so sure? None of us have an excellent track record with relationships, let alone one as complicated as trying to juggle three people’s needs. “You don’t know that.”
“And you don’t know it won’t work until we try.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Try with me?”
I might be questioning this, but there’s only one answer. It’s there in the weightless feeling in my chest and the endorphin buzz in my head. “Yes.”
We both look at Gaeton. He doesn’t seem any happier about this than he was a few minutes ago. “If we try and fail, the entire territory will bear the cost of it.”
“We won’t fail.” Beast sounds so confident, I’m being won over despite myself. I’ve seen him when he sets his mind on something. He won’t give up just because things get hard. He wants this, and I do, too.
Gaeton gives another of those long sighs that make me ache for him. “I don’t trust how good this feels.”
My heart wrenches in my chest. There was a time when he would have trusted it, when he would have the same confidence in this that Beast does. I’m the reason he’s doubting now.
If we do this, there will be no traditional white wedding like he had pictured in his head where I walk down the aisle to him. Saying yes means robbing him of that future
Unless it doesn’t.
If we’re going to be unconventional about our relationship, why not do it with our marriage, too? Maybe a marriage like that wouldn’t feel like a trap.
I give myself a little shake. We’re barely agreeing to this in the first place. Looking that far into the future, to a moment where I might walk down the aisle to both of them, is a bad idea. I sit there and wait for my normal panic at the thought of being tied down permanently to hit, but my only answer is the steady beat of my heart in my ears.
Beast touches his chin, bringing them face to face. “Do you trust me?”
Gaeton tenses like he wants to argue, but finally gives a jerky nod. “Yeah. I trust you.”
“Trust me to take care of us until this feels real.”
The sheer scope of what he’s demanding leaves me breathless. Or maybe it’s hope that has my lungs seizing and my body shaking. When Gaeton finally nods again, it feels like every bone in my body goes liquid in relief. I catch his hand with my free one and he gives me a tentative smile. “You know sealing this with a kiss won’t cut it.”
“Whatever you want.” I still lean forward and kiss him hard. I love you. I love you both so much. I’ve said it. I can’t keep saying it, can’t apply gasoline to an already explosive situation. I can’t expect us to all be there. Not with me. Not with each other, either. I have to be patient and let this play out, but the buoyancy in my chest has me feeling just as drunk as I felt coming down from our scene. “Anything you want.”
“What I want is both of you naked.” Beast climbs off the bed and starts stripping. He does it in short, economical movements that aren’t designed to entice, but leave me enraptured all the same. He’s beautiful. He’s always been beautiful to me, scars included. They just show his strength, his will to survive despite everything he’s gone through. Knowing that determination will be focused on progressing this relationship makes me feel warm and tingly.
I nudge Gaeton. “You heard him.”
“Just enjoying the view,” he rumbles.
Beast takes off his pants and I can’t help licking my lips at the memory of that piercing against my tongue. Gaeton huffs out a laugh and climbs off the bed, which has my gaze dragging helplessly to him. His big body, thick neck and thighs, the hair dusting his chest and lower. These two men could not be more different, but I want them so much, I practically quiver with desire.
The concept that I don’t have to choose, that they’re both mine and I’m both of theirs, hasn’t really sunk in yet. Maybe it will later. Maybe I’ll spend the next five years waiting for the other shoe to drop. Either possibility leaves me dizzy. It doesn’t matter. Tonight is a way of stating our intentions, and I won’t let my fear hold us all back.
I let the blanket fall as both men climb back onto the mattress. Part of me expects the three of us to fall on each other like starved creatures, but that isn’t what happens at all. Beast slides his hand through my hair to cup the back of my neck. Then he does the same to Gaeton. The slightest pressure urges my mouth to Gaeton’s and the feeling of Beast guiding this is just as intoxicating as Gaeton’s lips parting and his tongue sliding against mine. He tastes like home. I don’t think these men will ever not feel like home to me.
The pressure of Beast’s hand on my neck eases a little and I pull back as he leans in and takes Gaeton’s mouth. Their kiss is tentative and so filled with yearning that I feel like the worst kind of voyeur for witnessing it. I don’t care. I soak up the sexual tension rising between them, luxuriating in the fact that there will be no choosing tonight. We get it all.
Beast kisses me next. It’s nowhere near as tentative as the one he shared w
ith Gaeton. No, this is like him reminding me who owns me, body and soul. By the time he lifts his head, I’m shivering against him, gripping his arm with one hand and Gaeton’s with the other. Beast nips my bottom lip, and then I’m kissing Gaeton again as Beast moves to my back, reaching around me to run his hands down Gaeton’s chest to grip his cock.
There’s no talking, but there really doesn’t need to be. Not for this. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to be pressed between these men, our bodies getting tangled up in our need to touch each other, to stoke our desire until it threatens to consume us whole.
I don’t care about the danger.
I want to burn.
Chapter 25
Gaeton
With every touch, every kiss, my trepidation fades. Beast is right. I hate that he’s right, but it doesn’t change the truth. The three of us fit. Physically and otherwise. Our strengths complement each other; with three of us, our flaws feel less pronounced. I don’t understand how it works, I just need it to work.
They topple me back onto the mattress, Isabelle ending up astride my stomach and Beast between my thighs. I arch up to press her breasts together and tongue her nipples even as she bends back to kiss him and his hand closes around my cock again. It’s an assault on the senses, but in the best way possible. I never want it to end.
Isabelle pushes me back down and kisses me, writhing against my chest in a way that leaves me with no doubt that Beast has his fingers in her pussy. She breaks the kiss to say, “I need your mouth on me. Please.”