Her father continued, “But I had no idea what your life was like. Had I known about the bastards, I would have promised to rescue you. Instead, mayhap Hord ran through your mind. I’d been told you were called the Ice Queen, that you were as cold as anyone. That you had a reputation that preceded you.” His gaze locked on his wife’s.
Dyna couldn’t believe the tension passing between them.
“We fought each other, denying the attraction,” her mother said. “Because I was afraid of it. Of you.” Her mother’s gaze moved from her father to her, and she quickly blushed. “But I knew, in that moment, that my life would never be the same, yet I was afraid to see how it would change. Are you afraid of Derric for some reason, Dyna?”
She was, but she’d never admit it to her mother. Raging in her gut was a powerful fear that he would choose Senga over her. And if that happened after she’d admitted that she wanted him, that she might want to even marry him, she would look foolish to everyone.
Rejected.
She didn’t say any of that, but somehow her mother knew anyway.
“You’re being overdone,” Sela said. “If he chooses to take responsibility for his daughter, it’s not the same as rejecting you. You can’t turn love off so easily.”
She couldn’t help but snort at the word love. While Derric had feelings for her, it wasn’t love. Not yet.
But could it be? Could she hope they could have a relationship like her parents? If theirs had started so poorly, could the same not be said of the relationship she had with Derric? It had definitely been rocky from the start.
Yet she couldn’t walk away from him.
“And as for that piece of skin you mentioned earlier, you’ll not hear me arguing with you. Do with it as you wish. ’Tis your choice. No one but you.”
This time, she was left speechless.
***
Derric caught up with her that evening as she hurried outside, driven by a dream she’d had. She’d closed her eyes for a short while, exhausted from lack of sleep, and now sleep was the farthest thing from her mind. “Where are you headed?”
“I have a small archery field at the far end of the outer bailey.”
“May I come along?”
“Of course. I need to see if I’ve lost any of my skills.”
“You’re too skilled to lose your abilities so quickly.”
Should she tell him more about her premonition? About the new fears that had twined with the old?
“I hope you’re correct.” She glanced up at him and he smiled, that handsome smile that always sent a shiver through her.
He didn’t mince words, putting his question to her directly. “Have you decided yet if you wish to travel with me?”
“I’m still considering it.”
“The Bruce could use your help.” He settled his hands on his hips, and it took all of her control not to wrap her arms around him and rest her head on his chest. Even now, she wished to touch him. To feel his heat. Because she sensed he struggled with his own feelings as much as she did with hers.
He didn’t like not knowing if he had a bairn out there, and she sensed that part of the reason was because he did care about her. Mayhap it was time to end this situation. Mayhap she’d even help him find Senga, in the hopes that the bairn would prove not to be his daughter. Either way, all the dreams she was having pointed to being off Grant land.
“I’ll go with you. I promised Grandsire I would keep him abreast of the Bruce’s activities. Papa will send a score of guards to aid in any skirmish we meet along the way.”
His shoulders dropped immediately. “Then we leave at first light.”
She stopped to face him after leading him to an isolated spot where they wouldn’t be overheard. “Derric, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell my parents?” She’d decided not to tell them. For if she did, she would never be allowed to ride toward danger.
“Aye, I’ll keep your secret. What is it?”
She cleared her throat and glanced back at the people meandering in the courtyard. “Tell no one.”
“I promise. You’re scaring me, Diamond. What is it?” He stepped closer to her, something that would have made her step back from him a short time ago, but she held her position simply because she liked having him close.
“I fell asleep for a short nap and had a dream.”
“Everyone has dreams. Doesn’t mean it’ll come true.”
“These kind usually do come true. ’Twas one of my seer dreams.”
Something flickered in his eyes. A memory perhaps. He’d seen enough to know her intuition bore weight. “And?”
“And I dreamed Grandsire was missing and I was traveling all over the Highlands looking for him.”
“But you found him.” It was a statement more than a question.
“I did. But I couldn’t get to him. He was in an old cottage and I couldn’t get inside.”
“Diamond, if that comes true, and I have my doubts, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.” He clasped both of her shoulders. “You’ll save him.”
“I couldn’t. Someone else did.”
“Who?”
“You.”
Chapter Thirteen
They were on their second day of travel and expected to come upon the king’s camp soon. They hadn’t come across many other travelers, but what few they’d seen had informed them well. Word was the English had already arrived and gone straight to Ross land, so they weren’t expecting to see them. The Lowlanders hadn’t been spotted at all, which meant they could be anywhere, but Derric wasn’t worried about battling them.
They reached a small clearing, and Derric signaled that they could stop to see to their needs. Everyone dismounted, Dyna too. Derric returned to the clearing first and he watched as she made her way back to him. Her coloring was much better than it had been a few days ago. “Diamond, you are hale?”
She scowled as she stepped up to him. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He crossed his arms. “Because you were sick with a fever less than a sennight ago? Or were you so sickly that you forgot?”
She reached for his forearm and patted it. “I’m jesting with you. I feel fine and my thanks for asking. How much farther to the Bruce’s camp?”
“We’ll be there before dusk. It—” He stopped, silenced by the sight of a woman riding toward them on horseback. A woman all alone. She was too far away for him to see her well, but she had long, thick red hair. He walked away from Dyna, heading toward the lass because he had a funny suspicion it could be Senga.
“Is that her, Derric?” Dyna called out behind him, her voice thin.
He didn’t answer her because he wasn’t sure. Because his chest was suddenly filled with dread.
Dread that she was coming for him.
Dread he’d be forced to marry someone he didn’t love.
Dread he was about to be dragged in five different directions.
He let his breath out in a loud whoosh as soon as he realized it wasn’t Senga. His reaction had made something clear to him. Even if he had fathered Senga’s bairn, he could not marry her. They were not suited at all.
The lass approached and said, “I’m looking for the Grants.”
“These are the Grant warriors. What do you want?”
She stopped her horse in front of him. “I was sent from King Robert’s camp. He heard there were Grants in the area and wishes for them to stop at his camp. I have guards to make sure I’m safe.” She pointed off to a group of guards behind her, ones he’d never seen because his attention had been fixed on her.
“We are headed there. How much farther?”
“Less than an hour north and west of the main path. Head west after you pass the small village.”
She left as quickly as she’d arrived. He couldn’t move, thinking on all the emotion and the memories that the lass had brought out of him. A small voice carried to him from behind.
“Was that her? She has beautiful red hair.”
“Nay,
’twas not. But she’s from Robert’s camp. He wants the Grant contingency to stop at his camp to update him on what’s transpired.”
“How did he know there was a Grant contingency?”
“Because King Robert knows all. He has patrols everywhere, as any good king would.” He paused, then said, “For a moment, I did think ’twas Senga. Seeing her brought on a host of memories, and I feel I can tell you something now without any hesitation.”
She took a step closer, her expression still wary, not that he blamed her. “What?”
He moved close enough that he could cup her face with one hand. “I cannot marry Senga.”
“But if you have a daughter?”
“I’ll offer Senga support, even invite them to live near me. Senga has no clan to my knowledge, so if she has a child, she’s probably ready to give up following the camps. Mayhap I could convince her to settle in the same clan I join.”
“And which clan will that be?”
“Diamond, if you don’t know this by now, I’ll be direct. I go wherever you go.” He ran a thumb across her bottom lip. “Our time will come, lass.”
A guard yelled to him, “Corbett, mind your hands. You’re not to be touching the laird’s daughter.”
“Shut your mouth and mind your own business, Ewan.” Dyna stepped around Derrick and pulled out her dagger.
Derric took her hand and pulled her back. “Diamond,” he said with a wink when she finally looked at him. “He’s doing his job.” They moved back to their horses. He tossed her up onto her saddle and barked, “One hour north and we’ll be at our destination.”
They arrived before dusk, and King Robert himself greeted them, as was his custom. Once his guards cleared the new arrivals, he preferred to speak to them himself. “I’d heard of a Grant group not far away. Tell me if all is well.”
“No problems yet, King Robert.” Derric introduced Dyna to him.
“My lady,” King Robert said. “I recall another time you aided our cause, and I’ll thank you for it. Any Grant is welcome here.”
“Do you have word of an attack yet?” Dyna asked. “We witnessed a cavalry of Englishmen headed north several days ago.”
“Nay, we’ve heard naught, just that there are many after me. My intention is to send a message to Thane and Ross. And after William’s treachery in turning my wife over to Edward, his day of reckoning is nigh. ’Tis time for him to pay for his betrayal. Poor Elizabeth has yet to be freed. Perhaps if we overtake Ross, Edward will get the message that we’ll not go away anytime soon.”
“When will you attack Thane?” she asked. Her interest was likely personal—her cousin Alick’s wife was the niece of the clan chieftain.
“Not until I discover exactly where the English garrison is, though I suspect ’twill get cold enough for the English to retreat. They’ll run from the cold weather. You’ll see I’m right.” He had a gleam in his eyes as he said it. They all enjoyed taunting the English, who lacked the constitution for winter in the Highlands.
Dyna nodded, then headed off into the woods to see to her needs, giving Derric the chance to question the king. “Senga, have you seen her?”
Robert’s entire demeanor changed. “Lad, I fear I gave you poor information. Word reached me as soon as we arrived that Senga died over a moon ago from the fever. When I inquired about the bairn, I was told the lassie is with her sire, so apparently ’tis not you. I should never have said anything to you, but Senga is gone.”
The news wrenched something inside of him. She’d been so young, so hale, and she’d left behind a wee babe. While he hadn’t wished to marry her, he’d never wished for her to meet such a fate. He saw death all the time—it was a fact of war, of life—but this felt different. It felt wrong. He rubbed his whiskers, trying to tamp down the confusing surge of emotion. “The wee lass’s father? She was certain ’twas his?”
“So she said. I was told the bairn’s sire is Guinne. Earvin Guinne. The lass is with him, so best let it be.”
“Where will I find Guinne?” He trusted Robert, but he couldn’t rest easy about the situation until he saw the babe with his own eyes. He wondered if Dyna would go with him, though he wouldn’t question her if she refused.
“He’s headed west.” He deliberately changed the subject rather than give Derric more specific directions. “Though I could use your talents here. I’ve arrived at a truce with Macdougall, and now I’m off toward Ross land. I know not what we’ll face, especially if they’ve brought other Lowlanders in to fight, but I’ll not shy from the challenge.” He paused, studying Derric. “You have about a short time before we ride. Make your mind up.” Then the King of the Scots spun on his heel and left.
Derric turned around, watching Dyna’s regal carriage take her across the group of men, heading back into camp from the woods. Every man turned to look at her, and he wished to break every one of their necks for staring at her so.
Mine.
He knew it wasn’t true, but he wished it were. Still, she was such a powerful force of nature, he didn’t know if he was capable of reining her in.
Dyna would balk at that statement. She would say she didn’t need reining in, and he’d be forced to agree with her. The lass didn’t need changing. She was remarkable as she was. She was one of a kind.
“Is she here?” Dyna asked on her approach, her hands on her curvaceous hips.
“Nay,” he said. “She died of fever.”
Dyna’s eyes widened. She reached out to touch him, her fingers wrapping around his forearm, sending flames through him even through his thick tunic. “Derric, I’m so sorry.” She leaned toward him and gave him a quick hug. “I know ’tis not what you wanted.”
“Aye, I’m sorry it happened, but the loss isn’t mine. We were…it wasn’t like that between us. I meant what I said a short time ago. We were not meant to be together. Robert says the lassie isn’t my daughter, that she’s with her father.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
He wasn’t sure. “Does it sound daft if I say I wish to see her for myself? I want to know she’s well cared for.”
“Aye, and ’twill help you decide whether there’s a chance you’re her sire. Most lads and lassies look like one parent or another. If she looks like Senga, you may not be sure, but if she looks like her father and nothing like you, it could ease your worry.”
He paced in a small circle. “Aye, what you say is true. I think I must see for myself. Would you care to travel with me? ’Tis west of here.”
“Nay,” she said, staring at her boot as she kicked a stone about in the dirt. “You must do this on your own. I’ll be here when you return.”
He nodded and leaned in to plant a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back shortly.” He left her and headed into the woods to take care of his needs. In truth, he also needed a moment to think on what he’d just learned. On Senga’s death.
When he finished, he walked over to the nearby burn and rinsed his hands, throwing water on his face to wash away the grime of travel.
A sense of guilt rooted in him as he washed. Part of him felt he should be sadder, that he should mourn Senga more deeply. The sadness he felt was for a life lost too soon, not for what might have been.
Having faced up to the possibility of losing Dyna, he knew the only future he wanted was with her. His feelings for her were real, and they were strong. If the fever had taken her, he would have raged at the world. He would have torn it apart.
Mayhap he was finally experiencing that emotion that had proven so elusive to him.
Love.
It was something he’d never felt for anyone besides his sister and his parents, and until recently, he’d been parted from all of them for so long that he’d almost forgotten what it felt like.
He’d spent all this time fighting for his country, but he’d almost forgotten why he was fighting. Part of him wanted to belong to a clan—to be a part of the country he was protecting.
And he wanted that clan to be Clan Grant.
He stood, then folded his hands in front of him and said a brief prayer to God for Senga, expressing his hope that she’d be accepted into heaven, his sorrow that she’d been taken too soon, and his shame for not having loved her like he should.
He cupped water and tossed it over his hair, running his hands through the thick locks to try to straighten what he could, but a sound interrupted him—Dyna’s voice—and the words she said ripped his insides out.
“Take your hands from me.”
He couldn’t see her, but he heard her voice as clearly as if she stood next to him. Racing out of the woods, he didn’t have to look far before he found her in the middle of a few warriors. One had his hand on her shoulder and the other had his hand on her arse.
He roared and charged toward them, pounding his fist into the first man’s face. “Leave her be!” He noticed three Grant guards coming to her rescue as well. But they stood back, waiting to see what would happen next.
“Derric, stand down. I can protect myself,” Dyna said, her voice seething. She had the second man in a headlock, and he watched as she twisted him to the ground and put her knee to his chest, bringing her dagger to his throat.
Someone must have summoned King Robert, or else he’d heard the noise, because he hurried toward them bellowing, “There’ll be no killing. I need these men.”
But Derric was in a fury, and even his king’s remark couldn’t stop him. “They touched her and they had no right,” he growled, blocking a retaliatory punch from the first man and slamming him to the ground. He punched him twice, once in the belly and again in the face, then spun around to handle the second man.
There was no need. Dyna still had her dagger at his throat.
“Touch me again, and I’ll cut your sacs while you sleep.” The man didn’t say a word, only gave her a brief nod of agreement. She kneed him lightly in the groin before she stepped away, sheathing her knife. “I don’t need your help, Corbett,” she snapped.
“Are we done with the fighting?” Robert asked.
Derric wiped a hand across his mouth and muttered, “Aye, I’m finished. But tell your men that she’s off limits.”
The Scot's Quest (Highland Swords Book 4) Page 10