“This can’t be real,” he choked as my heart fell apart. “You been waiting on me huh?”
She nodded her head, back to focusing on her zipper when he pulled her close for a hard kiss.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting baby girl, but I’m here now,” he whispered.
“How is that possible?” I murmured out loud.
As if that was the key to life, the rain slowly began to let up until it came to a stop. Drizzle, barely visible to the eye. Violet who could be your worst nightmare or the most affectionate child on earth placed her small hand over Homer’s eyes with a small pat. Like she was trying to wipe away his sadness, and he let her do it. He let her do it.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you baby girl. Know you been waiting on me,” he whispered. “Daddy so happy to meet you.”
“Give Hom---Give Daddy a kiss goodnight. We’re going to see him again,” I managed to say through my teeth. Daddy wasn’t in my vocabulary when it came to her, now all of a sudden there was another parent in her life. Another person I had to share her with. Violet gave Homer a kiss on the forehead when he popped up and caught her mouth, making her laugh while she aggressively wiped her lips. “Tell him goodnight---.”
“I’m going to see you tomorrow okay?” He said as I opened the door. Didn’t even give me a chance to get her, he got out himself with her in his arms, and helped put her back in the car seat while the rain was at a pause.
“I expect to see her tomorrow,” Homer said, closing her side of the door. “While I’m still here in Atlanta.”
“If I have the time---.”
“You’re going to make the time,” he demanded as my head cocked back. Both of us at a standoff in the parking lot as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“As I said, if I have time tomorrow----.”
“You had all the time in the world since she was born. One evening or afternoon with her isn’t going to take her away from what you two have. Delilah already gave me your number,” pulling out his phone. “I’ll be calling tomorrow wanting to see her. You can bring her by, I can pick her up----.”
“Wait a minute, just because you’re suddenly a father doesn’t mean you, and I----.”
“There is no you, and I,” he cut in. “I don’t need permission to see her, and you know that. I’m being nice by telling you, but unless you want to get stupid again, I can have my sisters relay the message to you. Again.”
A few drops of rain came down between us as the light above flickered in response. Nothing but the sound of shopping carts rolling on the lot, muted music, and tires slashing on the wet streets surrounded us.
“My boyfriend wants to talk to you first,” I said. Deciding to play this little game with him. Homer smirked then outright laughed. “This isn’t funny! We’re talking about a child here! A child, and many relationships involved with this child----.”
“Well, all I have at this point is that child. What does your freckled boyfriend want with me?”
“He’s a part of Violet’s life as much as I am, and wants what’s best for her-----.”
“Stop,” cutting me off. “I’ma stop you there, and tell you goodnight before I do something I’ma regret. Answer yo phone when I call so I can see her tomorrow,” looking off to the side like he was suddenly this smooth cool cat.
“Dre wants to---.”
“Bring that nigga around me, and I’ma fuck his ass up. No questions asked. I don’t need to go through him to see her----.”
“I’m not saying you do----.”
Pia, you’re only making this worse woman, damn it! Just shut up, and get in the car.
“He just wants what’s best for Violet, as do I and if we’re going to----.”
Homer turned, and started for his car. Jawline tight, walk too smooth for the tension between us as he popped the door open on his side. Looking over the hood of the car at me.
“Bring him around me, and watch what happens. I’m not playing. I’ll be expecting to see her tomorrow.”
…
“I hate him!” I screamed into the phone, pulling into the parking garage of my building. “I freaking hate him! Acts as if he’s doing me a favor! Like the world should bow down at his black ass feet! I cannot stand him!”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Delilah said into the phone with a monotone voice. “Oh? You’re busy, cool. I called you to bitch while you’re trying to have sex.”
“I’m sorry,” I sighed, realizing I called her up and just ranted the moment the phone clicked. “Him, and Dre are going to be a problem. Dre is going to think I’m choosing Homer. Homer is trying to think I want Dre as her father----.”
“Those two meeting will not end well. I don’t need a third eye to see that. There will be bloodshed if they ever get in each other’s way. Dre loves you, and Violet...Homer, will hate and resent that he loves you, and her until he starts to fall for you----.”
“I’m hanging up this phone.”
“Good, good night,” she cut in before the phone clicked.
I looked back at the little girl who was going to unknowingly have two grown men fighting over her. Head leaned to the side with her puffy cheeks giving her enough support as she slept with a chicken nugget in her hand. Crumbs around her mouth, and grease glistening her lips. I looked down at my phone again, seeing the South Carolina area code pop up as a message.
“Like hell,” I muttered through my teeth. It was his plans for tomorrow, telling me where to drop Violet off for the afternoon.
Homer
“Nigga pass the ball!” I yelled, hands in the air as Jason took the shot from where he stood. Body jumping up with his arms jerking forward before howling.
Swoosh!
“Woooooooo!” He clapped. “Let’s go! Let’s go! Where are we?!”
I threw my hands on my hips, letting out a small cough in my arm before wiping the beads of sweat with my soaked shirt. You could tell fall was just around the corner, but even still. The sun was cooking the few men that stayed out on the basketball court in the middle of a park Sunday afternoon. There were only a few benches that surrounded the park with someone bringing out a small square table, and plastic chairs to play cards or dominos. Most of the time it was the older men that came around talking shit, challenging anyone to a game of spades while the younger boys gathered around the court, waiting their turn at ball.
“Aye! This shit ain’t a fair game!” One of the younger kids complained as he bounced the ball. “Niggas bout as tall as the gah damn rang! How we pose’ to even get a chance?!”
“I don’t know what you said, but it sounds like you’re losing,” Jason said with a smirk as I laughed. Tucker called a timeout as he ran off to the side to grab his bottle while I looked around.
“You really think she’s gonna show up?!” Michael called from the sideline, having sat this game out trying to catch his breath. All I could see was sweat pouring down his face, and a heaving chest as he propped his elbows on his knees to lean forward. “You really think she’s gonna show up?”
“She doesn’t have a choice!”
Jason and I looked at each other before deciding to sit this next game out to as the next group of boys came together, forming their team.
“I would have waited to become a father, at least a week,” Jason said, collapsing on the ground. “Knowing what I know.”
“No, he did the right thing,” Tucker nodded, wiping his mouth. “Takes your mind off the bad breakup. Have you spoken to Nasia?”
I shook my head. Omitting that I sent her one too many messages last night because I couldn’t sleep. One too many voicemails, and stared repeatedly at pictures of her.
“She said she’s done, so she’s done. Ain’t much I can do at this point, but be single. I ain’t bothering her no more.”
They all looked at me as Michael coughed dramatically.
“Nigga stay telling stories,” he let out I laughed. “Probably been calling her all last night tryna talk to her----,”
> “I ain’t bother that woman man. My daughter called me Daddy for the first time. She knew exactly who I was,” I said with a smile.
“You ready for it?” Jason asked. “I can’t imagine Diega being my baby mama in that sense,” he said slowly, sounding awkward, even when he attempted to sound cool. “But you’re gonna have your hands full with being single, and raising a little girl.”
“Speaking of little girl, what happened last night?” Tucker asked as I shook my head in frustration.
“Pia happened. I don’t even know what made me walk up to her that day on the yard, and then again in the club. Tryna fuck. I wasn’t thinking clearly. If I could go back, and just keep it moving that day...She’s dumb. Young, and dumb. Almost got into a damn fight with some white dude over, I don’t know,” throwing my hands in the air. “A fucking parking spot or something, with her daughter in her arms. I said, you out here fighting like you ain’t got a baby to look after? What kind of mother are you?”
“Oooooo,” Jason winced as Michael shook his head. Tucker just smirked.
“I think the last time I saw Pia, I was in middle school? Maybe high school, or a wedding? Her, and my sister I think went to Spelman together. Last time I paid her any attention. Her dad didn’t keep her, and the younger brother around us that much. Only around his family. Only one we knew about was Piru,” looking to Jason who nodded to confirm. “She was a fat girl, right?”
“That’s how I remember seeing her,” Jason said, taking a stray basketball as he began to bounce it in place. “Her dad is some big shot senator or congressman. His father has his hand in a few private prisons in the South. Family is a big deal,” pretending to take an air shot. “Old, old money. A lot of family in DC like mine. Few of my dad’s cousins married into the white part of that family to keep it going. I know she was dating that basketball player, but from what I hear, he broke up with her.”
“What?” I let out, shocked. “Same nigga talking about he wants to meet me?”
Jason shrugged as I laughed. Maybe that was just a front to make me feel some type of way. I just shook my head.
“She can have all the money in the world, and I still regret sleeping with her.”
“Sounds like y'all over there talking about baby mamas!” One of the old heads at the card table yelled. Swigging back a white cup as he yanked his pant leg up to hover over his ankle. Old wrinkled brown face with a thick mustache, and Marine Veterans hat, he laughed. “We was just talking about that the other day, wasn’t we Earnest?”
“Sho was,” the other said, shuffling the card.
“Mmm hmm, we said first baby mamas always the mistake one. It ain’t right if yo first baby mama isn’t ugly. We all slip it up like that, but they be having the best pussy----.”
“See!” Michael pointed with a laugh. “I said the same damn thing!”
“Give you the most problems, ain’t shit to look at. Hope yo kids don’t come out looking like her, but that sex be outta this world! It’s a wonda’ you ain’t spreading them seeds all over the place with her!” The Vet laughed with a stomp of his foot. “What she look like?!”
“She’s finna come out here Pops!” Michael said, standing up as another man pulled up a chair to sit down.
“Don’t worry youngin. The women after her always look better,” he winked with a nod. “Always.”
“I already know,” sitting down on the ground. “My girlfriend got her beat. Ain’t got shit when it comes to her. Don't even come close.”
“You got a boy or a girl?” The man asked, peering his eyes at me as I dragged a tired hand down my face.
“A girl. Lil girl.”
“Ohhh shoot...I was gonna say you in the clear if you had a lil boy, but you gon have yo hands full. Gon be beating niggas off her with a stick even when they ain’t looking. These young girls growing up too fast. You seen Keisha’s kids across from us? Lil girl look like she bout 30, but she’s 14. I said, what the hell they feeding these kids in school?!”
“Hey? Yall still doing the get together next month?” Jason asked, staring at his phone. “Diega just asked me to ask you.”
“Yeah it's still on,” Michael nodded before looking at me. “That’s when you should bring Violet out to meet the rest of the family. Let Mama and em see her---.”
“You inviting Pia?” Tucker asked, shocked as I laughed.
“No, fuuuuck no. Family, and close friends only. She can stay her ass here with her boyfriend. I’m inviting my daughter to be with her family for once.”
“And you think she’s going to let you?” Jason asked as I shrugged.
“Do it matter? I don’t need permission to be with my own kid,” I said. Jason exchanged a grin at Tucker before letting out a low whistle.
“I slipped up and forgot to tell my wife my mom was taking the girls for the weekend. She left the house, I waited until my mom came to get em, then left. Usual routine is Diega picking them up from daycare, but when she got there….”
“They weren’t there,” I said, feeling my heart beat a little harder than it should as Jason slowly shook his head.
“I woke up a beast I didn’t know existed man. She thought somebody stole the damn kids. Had everyone calling me panicked, I’m trying to reach my mom who wasn’t picking up. You know she lives out the way in the middle of nowhere now. My sister is calling me freaking out because my nephew is with Mom too so she’s thinking something fucking happened. Diega had a mental break down until we reached my mom’s house, still couldn’t get her on the damn phone. Even I was panicking because I’m thinking something happened!”
“I remember that day,” Tucker nodded. “Jason had to stay with me for a few days after that.”
“I say this to say...No matter how much you think you play a part in being a parent, dads are simply there to wipe tears, give advice, open our wallets, and be on standby when we’re needed. Everything else is the mother’s doing.”
“Jason,” slowly standing up. “You let that woman control you in your own house. I’m a different breed, cut from a different cloth,” stretching my arms as I looked around at the few strays of girls eyeing us. Some were young, but some were just of age to be looking as I smiled. “One thang about it,” reaching to take my shirt off. Peeling it off like second skin before tossing it to the ground.
“Here y'all go with this pretty boy competition shit,” Michael muttered as Tucker took his shirt off, attempting to flex his pale arms. “Every damn time. While I sit here under six feet just tryna get up out this heat.”
“One thang about it,” I repeated towards Jason who smiled at a few girls walking by. “She may be my baby mama, but I’m her baby daddy. I don’t gotta get used to her, she’s gotta get used to me. How I move, and how I do things. I don’t need,” snatching the ball from him mid dribble before bouncing it myself. Attempting to show off. “No permission. I don’t need to check in with no damn body, not even her about my own child.”
“Speak on it!” Michael egged on.
“I’ma grown ass man. I work, I pay bills. I support myself. When I’m hon’gry, I eat. When I wanna do something, I do it. Don’t wait on nobody for nothing. Pia got a problem with it, she can suck my dick,” I said before smiling at the memory. “The way she did when we first met, and get the fuck on. I’on care.”
“That’s right Young Moon!” Michael laughed with a clap.
“Aye!? Youngin! Where you from?” One of the old heads at the table asked. “You talk funny so I know you ain’t from here, where you from?”
“South Carolina,” I said, pretending to take a shot.
“Yall a lil slow out there so I’ma give you a piece of advice, listen to yo friend over there with the three kids. That ain’t a battle you can win. Don’t need two baby mamas tryna be one parent----.”
“Yall scared of women out here! That’s what it is!” I laughed. “That’s why Atlanta is full of all these colorful niggas out here. Yall so scared of a woman, you starting to turn into one. Nah. Not m
e!” Feeling myself to the highest point as I took a shot.
Swoosh!
Arm still pointed with the shot, I shrugged with a boastful smile.
“I ain’t one of these lil sensitive niggas out here. I’m a man’s man. She gon do what I say regardless because that’s her natural place. The natural order. Man is always the head of the household.”
“What household are you talking about?” Jason let out, confused. “You, and her don’t even----.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m the dominant parent. Our household is our child that we...so happen to share. It’s my way or no way.”
“And see right there,” the Vet pointed at me with a squint of his eyes. “Is the shit that’s gonna get yo mouth popped. Yo mams must have had you sucking on her titty until you was 12 boi----.”
“Aye, aye!” Michael let out, cutting me off from approaching him. “Aye now, calm down.”
“I’on mean to disrespect ya!” The man laughed with a hacking cough. “All I’m saying is one?! Don’t let these colorful fruity niggas in Atlanta fool you. Some of these faggots will fuck you up, and two! You don’t know half the shit you think you do, but you’ll learn. Better listen to yo friend who got three of em. You ain’t never too old to learn something new.”
“Difference between him, and I is he’s somebody’s husband. He’s a husband, still being controlled in his own house. Why?” I schooled. “Because he sleeps with his wife. They got that bond, that connection where she can tell him whatever, and he’ll do it because he’s laying with her. A woman’s body can take control of a man’s mind if she’s putting it down right. Me?!” Fingers crowning my chest with an aggressive shake of my head. “I won’t eva touch that woman, ever again. You hear me?!”
“Nigga I hear you Omar Epps! You think you so gah damn pretty. You probably used to women doing shit for you----.”
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