Brennan shifts on the bed and rolls my body toward him. He hovers over me, cupping my face between his palms. “You don’t have any flaws, Jules.”
Tears fill my eyes as his fingers caress my cheeks. “My body is littered with scars.”
He lowers his face to mine, and our lips meet. “Yet you are beautiful.”
Usually, the same old paralyzed emotion would creep into my throat when someone told me I was beautiful. I never believed them. How could I be? I’m scarred. But today, the feeling escapes me. I don’t feel as if I’m choking; instead, I take a deep breath and nod.
My lids slip down over my eyes. When I open them, I find his deep blue eyes watching me intently.
“It took a long time for me to truly comprehend those words. Every scar I have has a story. Each scar tells a little more of my story. My scars show my strength, my courage, the torture I endured as a child. My scars show what I’m made of, they’re a part of who I am. I chose not to hide them, I made them a part of me.”
Brennan leans down and finds my lips. His mouth moves gently along mine, warming my entire body. “The most beautiful people are broken. You’re beautifully scarred.”
His lips are gentle, soft when they touch mine. “The deepest wounds we carry, in time, all heal. You’ve seen the dark side of what humans are capable of. You survived it, but not unscathed.”
Tears slowly find their way down my cheeks. “Through it all, only four people chose to love me. They loved me through my ups and downs, they made my darkest days have a little light.”
“Who are those four people?” he asks.
“My parents—and I mean Charles and Maureen, Quinn, and you.”
Brennan shifts my legs apart and slowly enters my body. “You got that right. Me. I loved you as a child, and I vow to love you for the rest of my life.”
I’ve broken my cardinal rule. I’ve fallen in love. I’m in uncharted territory, which is both exciting and scary.
Staring at the man, I can imagine a future with him. A future I refuse to allow my past to play a role in.
I’m ready to love.
I’m ready to be loved.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Brennan
This woman has a sexual appetite, and I’m willing and able to satisfy her every need.
She stares at me, her gray eyes framed by thick lashes. My fingers come out of her, but I make quick work of pulling her legs around my waist. She locks them around me, then reaches forward, taking my cock in her hands.
“I need you now. Get inside me, please,” she purrs.
I reach over her naked body and open the drawer, grabbing a condom. The crinkle of the wrapper echoes in the quiet room. The only other sound is our heavy breathing.
Once sheathed, I hold myself over her and pause at her entrance. Her smoky colored eyes darken as I push inside her, sliding to the hilt, and a low groan leaves me.
Being inside her is heaven. My hands find hers, lacing our fingers together. I lift her arms over her head, pressing them into the mattress. Leaning down, my mouth captures hers. She presses her open lips to mine.
“Brennan, harder, please.”
My hips move with hers. Thrusting deep into her, she moans. With our hands linked, I take her mouth and begin to move, gliding in and out of her. Together we find a tempo which is relentless, yet smooth, binding our bodies.
Stars form behind my eyes from having her warm wet pussy around my dick. “Fuck, Jules.” My hands move to her hips, pulling her body against mine to meet each thrust.
Jules is underneath my body, staring back at me. “Don’t hold back, Brennan. Please.” Her legs wind tighter around my hips as I push deep inside her. Her climax is building; I can feel her pussy clenching my dick. Pleasure laces my insides.
“Come for me, Jules.”
She tangles her hands in my hair, pulling hard, and I quicken my pace, pushing us higher. Her pussy grips and releases me, making my cock throb with each grind as I hit her g-spot.
Jules throws her head back, pushing her pelvis up, taking my dick to the hilt. My hips move faster as I slide in and out of her. Her pussy is slick, hot, and now pulsing as I drive deeper.
“I’m gonna come,” she moans. “Harder. Don’t stop,” she pants over and over.
“Brennan!”
Jules’ back arches as I thrust hard, my knees spreading her thighs wide, my cock channeling deep at an angle, hitting one of her most sensitive spots.
I reach down, applying pressure to her swollen clit with the pad of my thumb. My finger circles it a few times, and seconds later, she screams my name as she comes, clenching my cock within the walls of her pussy. God, she’s gorgeous when she comes. Jules’ back arches off the bed as she thrashes her head back and forth against the pillow.
We’ve been sleeping together for months, but tonight things felt different.
I begin moving faster, harder, deeper, rotating my hips, moving so I touch every part of her. I slam forward a few more times when waves of pleasure explode through me.
This is us. The new us.
Our breaths are labored as we both slowly gather our bearings. Pulling the condom off, I toss it in the trash can next to the bed.
Jules snuggles against me as our legs intertwine. Her body curls into mine, and she rests her head against my chest. My hand caresses the skin of her thigh, creating goosebumps in my path.
“You warned me, but I didn’t listen. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Her body stiffens against mine. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her back against my chest. “I’m not expecting you to say anything or respond. I only wanted you to know how I feel about you.”
“Brennan,” her voice breaks as tears slip down her cheeks, falling against my chest.
The way she says my name tears a hole in the middle of my chest.
“You don’t have to say it,” I whisper, a plea in my voice.
“I’ve loved you since I was a child. Obviously not the same way as I do now. But you’ve always had my heart, Jules.”
I needed to tell her everything. I need her to let down her walls, be exposed. Know that I will never intentionally hurt her. I’ve always protected her.
Jules lays quietly in my arms. I’m not sure how long we lay in silence, but her breathing settles into a deep, even rhythm of sleep.
I know she feels something for me. I refuse to push her, but I want her to know how I feel. She’s it for me. I have my best friend back in my arms.
Jules owned my heart when we were kids. She owns my heart again.
When she lowers her defenses and lets you see the real Jules, not the one she wants the world to see, she’s slightly broken. Still carrying some of the scars of her past. I want badly to put all the wounded pieces of her back together.
I loved her once and lost her. Now I have her back, and there’s no way I’m letting her go.
The stars have aligned, and I refuse to lose her again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Juliette
Brennan grabs two mugs out of the cabinet, then the creamer from the fridge.
With my back leaning against the kitchen island, Brennan makes us our morning coffee.
Brennan told me he loved me two weeks ago, and I didn’t respond. I know I love him, but I’m afraid to tell him. Once I say those three words, I won’t be able to take them back. Those three words will change everything. After a lot of thought, I decide to show Brennan how much I love him.
“I have an idea, and I’d like you to be part of it.”
“Go on,” Brennan says with his back to me, still preparing my morning java.
He fills my mug, adding creamer and my flavoring syrup, then hands it to me. Brennan turns to face me, leaning leisurely against the counter, his legs crossed at the ankle, drinking his coffee. No matter how many times he spends the night, this vision makes me happy. He’s the first man I’ve allowed to stay the night at my apartment. He’s the first man I’ve ever had repeat sex with. He�
�s become the first of many for me.
I take a sip from my steaming mug and place it down on the granite countertop.
In my heart, I know I love Brennan. Hell, I fell for him when I knew him as Lee, but saying those words out loud makes them much more real than if I keep them to myself. I’m not good at expressing myself with words. I assume when we make love, my actions prove otherwise.
“My back is the only canvas I have open. I was thinking we could discuss what I’d like, and you can design it.”
“Why do you want me to design it when your creative skills are amazing? You have a unique way of seeing things.”
I take a sip from my cup, savoring each mouthful. Knowing what I’m going to say next is going to shock him, I let him think a moment about what I asked. “I’m not asking for you to only design it, I’m asking you to do it as well.”
Brennan sets his mug on the counter, closing the distance between us. He hesitates, blinking in bafflement. “Jules, are you serious?”
I nod.
His usually vibrant blue eyes show disbelief. “Why me?”
“I trust you.” He knows this is a huge step for me. I’ve only allowed Zeke and Pops to do any work on my body, but I want Brennan to do a back piece for me. I may not be able to form the words ‘I love you’ in response to his declaration, but right now, this is the best I can do.
Brennan makes my heart thump in my chest. He makes me happy. He’s managed to break down my walls piece by piece, and along the way, I’ve fallen in love with him. Why am I afraid to tell him how I feel? Is it fear because, at an early age, I lost the two most important people I loved? I’ve been given a second chance at having Brennan in my life. Why do I insist on keeping my feelings for him inside?
I no longer feel alone. The tightening in my chest when I think about having a relationship with him no longer exists. In fact, joy bubbles inside me. There are no more shadows across my heart. This is the first time I can see a future with someone.
A future I look forward to.
His eyes search mine. “I’d be honored to,” he speaks in a tone filled with awe and respect.
Three hours later, my body lies flush against the bed as Brennan applies the stencil to my exposed back.
“You ready, sweetheart?” he asks, and leans down, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
Brennan, being his possessive self, moved the bed to the back office and set up everything on Pops’ desk. He refused to do the tattoo in the shop, even though my chest was completely covered, with a towel draped across my breasts.
“You’re mine. Nobody else gets to see your body,” he hissed in my ear when he fucked me hard this morning after we discussed him doing the tattoo.
“Ready when you are.”
The humming of the gun soothes my nerves. Brennan begins with the outlining.
Every inch of my skin bears his fingerprints, as does my heart.
Brennan has always been home to me.
Hours pass and Brennan finishes for the day, removing his gloves. My body is stiff from laying on my stomach this entire time.
“Wait here.” Brennan leans down, kissing my forehead, and walks out of the office. A moment later, he returns with my wall mirror in his hands.
My hand flies up to cover my mouth to stifle my giggles. “Are you insane? You took the mirror off the wall.”
He points to my body, naked from the waist up. “You weren’t walking out there looking like this.”
I look down at my exposed chest. “I could have covered my breasts. Craig is a professional. He sees half-naked bodies all the time.”
“He won’t be seeing yours,“ he growls.
Brennan leans the full-length mirror against the wall then walks over to me. He guides me toward the mirror with his hands on my hips. He turns my body, my back facing it, then hands me a smaller mirror to hold in my hand. Angling the mirror over my shoulder, I see his creation for the first time. The piece he designed is breathtaking. I couldn’t have done better myself.
I went into this tattoo blind, leaving it up to Brennan. Putting my trust in him was a huge step for me.
The angel’s feet are at the base of my spine, and her head is at my neck. She wears a dress that looks as if it is flowing in the wind. Her wings span the width of my back, with the tips of her wings on my shoulder blades. Brennan created sun rays with the shading, as if the angel was shining. My eyes are drawn to the outlining, which has bold lines, giving the tattoo depth.
His eyes cling to mine, analyzing my reaction. Brennan’s creativity leaves me speechless as my eyes study his work, absorbing every little detail.
“I want all your pieces to flow evenly. Since your arms are pointillism, I transitioned it onto your back. We can’t finish it all in one session, but a good amount is complete for you to see where I’m going with the design.”
Some artists stick with a specific style, some mix things up and develop their own; however, artists can develop their own style, which Brennan has.
His finger trails lightly over my shoulder to an open space between my shoulder blades. “You’ve always been my fallen angel. You only needed wings to soar.”
My heart squeezes, and it’s my shattering. Gulping hard, hot tears roll down my cheeks. “It’s beautiful.”
Our eyes meet in the mirror. “So are you,” he says, leaning down, planting tantalizing kisses in the hollow of my neck.
In this moment, I’m wrapped in a silken cocoon of euphoria. I’ve never been this happy in all my life.
Turning away from Brennan, I reach for my phone and search for the song I downloaded the other day. When I heard the song, it rocked me to my core. The words describe me perfectly. My finger shakes over the play button. I’m putting myself out there for the first time ever.
“You once told me lyrics always find a way to convey what your feeling. I struggle with expressing myself verbally. As you know, I do it through my art.”
“Naked” by Brielle Von Hugel begins to play. Brennan's eyes widen as he focuses on the lyrics. A bottomless peace and satisfaction settle over me.
“Listen,” my voice drifts off into a hushed whisper.
A war of emotions rage within me as I listen to the lyrics with him. It’s as if this song was written specifically for me.
Brennan’s eyes fill with tears when he hears the lyrics describing how I can truly be me and not ashamed of my flaws. With him by my side, I no longer have to hide.
His hands pull on my waist, drawing me close to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and stare at the magnificent man in my arms.
His azure eyes blaze down into mine, darkening with emotion. “Jules—”
Placing my finger over his lips, I stop him mid-sentence.
I’ve never been well at articulating myself verbally. It’s always been a struggle of mine. I need Brennan to listen to the lyrics. Every single word in this song is exactly how I feel about myself and how I feel about him.
As the song plays, Brennan’s eyes never waver from mine. I need to let go of the pain from my past, it can no longer be a crutch. Instead, it will be my driving force. Brennan has seen the side of me I keep hidden from the world. He’s witnessed the aftermath of the abuse, and now he knows the ugliness I inflicted on my body with cutting.
Brennan knows it all and he still loves me. He accepts me for who I am. Maybe all this time, I didn’t show anyone who I truly was because I was fearful of rejection. I didn’t want to have to explain the scars that littered my body. It was easier to be with someone for one night than risk the chance of them discovering my scars.
Brennan said fate brought us back together again. Maybe he’s right. I’ve always been the most exposed with Brennan.
He has loved me at my ugliest, and I vow to love him when I’m at my best.
When the song finishes, tears stain my face. I push up on my tiptoes, pressing my open lips to his delivering a series of slow, shivery kisses before I lean back. “I love you too.”
His expressi
on stills and grows serious. “Say it again.”
I smile, taking his face in my hands. “You hold the key to my heart. I’ll fall endlessly for you. Just promise to catch me.”
“I’ll never let you fall, I promise. I’ll always catch you.” He seals his vow with a smoldering kiss that I feel deep within my soul. The touch of his lips sends shockwaves through my body as goosebumps cloak my bare skin.
I hugged him like that hug had always been inside of me, waiting to come out. I hugged him and vowed to never let him go.
He has turned the chaos within me into a symphony.
This man loves me.
I am his.
He is mine.
We’re eye to eye, only our breath separating our mouths. “Say it again.”
A deep feeling of peace enters my being, shattering the hard shell I had built so carefully around my heart all those years ago.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.
Epilogue
Three years later
The sun shines bright, and there is a cool breeze in the air. The leaves of the trees whistle in the wind as if they are singing a symphony amidst the sadness in the air.
My eyes take in the scenery around me, and sorrow seeps into my heart. I haven’t been back to the small town I grew up in, approximately an hour outside of Pittsburgh, since I was a little girl.
My fingers trace over the engraved name. Joseph Adler. I wonder who buried him. When he was killed, no one stepped forward to raise me, that’s why I ended up in foster care.
With the help of my parents, we located his death certificate, which revealed where he was buried, since it was unknown to all of us.
I’ve allowed my past to follow me for years, even after I was adopted by Charles and Maureen.
Fear of loving those who were close to me scared me to death. Those I loved were taken away from me. I learned that at an early age. My adoptive parents taught me how to love again. Brennan taught me how to love again. Being loved was something I craved. Something I needed.
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