“Where are Caroline and Josh?” Emily asked me, looking broken and scared, tears streaming down her face as she searched for them in the crowded bar.
“I told them to find a ride home. I don’t want to see them right now. She let that asshole hurt you.”
“What? No, she didn’t. I was walking out behind her when those guys walked up from the street and grabbed her. I tried to get them to let her go, then one turned on me. Not the other way around. Caroline was the one they wanted and I was trying to stop them. You need to go and find her. Right now! You have to fix this, Andrew. You just found her and you threw her away… again. After you promised you wouldn’t!” Emily cried, her words a wake-up call to my hazy brain.
Oh shit! I just blamed Caroline for something that wasn’t her fault and told her to leave. I didn’t even give her the chance to explain before I yelled at her, making her feel, once again, worthless.
I ran outside into the street and began to look for Caroline and Josh, running up and down, only to find them gone. Pulling out my phone, I dialed the number she had put into my phone last night before we said goodnight at the roadhouse.
In the space of 24 hours, I had managed to find my soulmate and cast her aside, after I’d promised her I would find a way to make us work. At the first sign of trouble, I drove her away…again.
Her phone rang twice before going to voicemail. I left a message, begging her to call me back and I began to send her texts that showed as undeliverable. She had turned her phone off. Running out of options, I dialing Josh’s number, he answered on the first ring.
“You fucked up big time.” He simply said as he hung up the phone and I was cast into the silence of my thoughts.
Closing my eyes, I drew in a shaky breath, hoping to keep myself from losing it in the middle of Bourbon Street. Opening my eyes, I looked down and saw Caroline’s necklace laying on the ground outside the restaurant. I picked it up and put it in my pocket, the delicate chain broken and the charm damaged beyond repair.
Just like us.
How could I let this happen? Why did I lash out at her when I was mad at myself for being careless with their safety? I had yelled at her and told her to leave. I didn’t trust her enough to listen to her when she asked. Proving to her I wouldn’t fight for her when she needed me. Now, what do I do? I had just told Josh I would find a way to make things work and at the first sign of trouble, I pushed her away.
I gathered Emily and got her to the car, asking her if she needed to go to the hospital. She declined with a simple head movement and her middle finger in the air. She hadn’t spoken a word to me since I walked back to get her, alone, and she had shaken her head at me as we walked out of the Quarter, letting her disappointment in me show.
“Was tonight my fault?” I asked Josh as the taxi ferried us away from the Quarter and farther away from my heart. What little bit of my heart Andrew had mended, was now shattered beyond repair by his callous words.
At Andrew’s declaration, I had spun on my heels and began to make my way quickly to the taxi line, hoping to get out of the crowd before I started to cry. Josh had grabbed me around the shoulder and practically held me up until we were seated in the cab and moving towards our hotel.
“Nothing about tonight was your fault. Everything that happened tonight was on those two drunk idiots and Andrew. Are you okay? It looked like you got roughed up a little back there.” Taking my hands and inspecting my scraped skin and bleeding palms, he gently placed them back on my dirt covered sundress and pulled my head into his chest.
I shook my head and the tears I had been holding back began to fall. I wasn’t sure how to stop them. My heart had begun to beat for the first time in years, the promise of his love bringing it back to life. The quickness in which he threw me away and blamed me for something that wasn’t my fault shocked me.
He never asked if I was okay. He didn’t care, and his ability to overlook my physical pain from the attack hurt more than his sharp words.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Josh asked, as the taxi pulled up to the hotel and he threw some money over the seat, the ride over in a matter of minutes.
“No.” was my response as we made our way to the elevator.
I had no words to articulate my feelings. I knew now that the love I had been holding on to for all those years was gone. My head accepted it, but my heart was still struggling to come to terms with the reality that we were really over.
I tried to recall the events that led up to us being here but I couldn’t think past Andrew’s actions tonight. I had never seen him attack someone the way he had, and when he wouldn’t stop, I was terrified he would kill one of them.
I fumbled to find my keycard but couldn’t stop the trembling in my hands long enough to unzip my purse. Josh, sensing my emotional upheaval, took the card out and opened the door, ushering me into the room.
My cell phone rang and I looked down, seeing Andrew’s name on the screen, I declined the call and turned my phone off. I had no words for him tonight, maybe ever.
“Let me get you something to drink. Do you want something from the mini bar?” he asked, sitting me on the sofa as he kneeled in front of me and held my hands, offering me strength.
“Can you grab me a bottle of water? I need to take a quick shower and get the dirt off of me.” I told him, as I stood and walked across the room, shutting the bedroom door behind me.
I wanted to dry my tears.
I wanted to sob out loud.
I did neither.
On autopilot, I removed my ruined sundress, throwing it in the trash and tossed my sandals into my suitcase, my mind already made up. My work in New Orleans was done and Josh could handle tomorrow and whatever deal he had with Andrew. I was going to get cleaned up and head home tonight.
Turning the water in the shower to hot, I washed my hair and gently washed my scraped knees and hands, the soap stinging and burning, reminding me of his painful words as they replayed in a loop over and over. I turned the water off and grabbed a towel, avoiding the mirror in the bathroom.
Afraid of what I would see.
My breasts were throbbing from the guys who grabbed me when Emily and I walked out of the bar. She tried to get them to let me go when one grabbed her arm and all hell broke loose. He and his arrogant friend got a good squeeze in, leaving my chest aching and my skin raw from sliding down the concrete and landing on the dirty pavement.
I could feel a cut on the back of my neck from my necklace being ripped off so I left my hair down when I got dressed. A soft pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt will make for comfortable travel clothes tonight. They will also hide the bruises and scrapes that I know will cause me more pain tomorrow.
My adrenaline was beginning to wear off as I walked back into the suite’s living room and sat down in the chair, the memories of what we did on the couch this afternoon too raw in my mind. Josh handed me a bottle of water as the silence stretched around us.
“How bad is the damage?” Josh asked, knowing I was hiding my wounds from him. He always had a way of knowing something without actually knowing and was understanding as you worked out your thoughts.
“I’ll heal. A few bruises and a couple of scrapes. Nothing to worry about.” I told him, needing him to stop looking at me like I was fragile.
“Please stop looking at me like I’m going to break. We both knew this was a weekend fling. Nothing more. We were scheduled to go home tomorrow and I knew this wasn’t going to work. Whatever it was or wasn’t, I got my closure.” I explained, hoping I sounded convincing enough.
“This wasn’t a weekend fling and you know it. I saw the look on your face at dinner. You were planning on this weekend being the end and his actions justified your decision. You’re going to run, aren’t you?”
“I’m not running, Josh. I’m going home, back to my life. His life is here and my life is in Atlanta. This whole idea you have about us being destined by fate, forget it. I saw what I needed to see tonight to know I
will never be a priority to him. I don’t know if I ever was. Emily is the only family he has left and his place is taking care of her. Not me. I don’t blame him and I promise, I’m okay.” I responded to him, drinking from my bottle of water, trying to swallow down the lie.
“Whatever caused him to act the way he did tonight, it’s destroying him. It goes deeper than those drunk asses. He needs you. Emily told me he was acting like the old Andrew last night and I saw how he was with you all evening, well, before the situation. He is head over heels in love with you. I think you need to hear him out, let him apologize for tonight.”
“Nope. We said all the ‘I’m sorry’s’ that needed to be said right here this afternoon. The chapter of Caroline and Andrew, our forever, is closed. The book’s over, Josh. Not everyone gets the happily ever after they want. I’m one of them, but I’ll bounce back. Just you watch.” I said as I got up and leaned over to give him a hug. “Thank you for being a great friend. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you later.”
“Do you want me to sleep here tonight?” Josh asked, always the protector.
“Go enjoy your suite, Josh. Good night.” I said as I walked out with him sitting on the couch and closed the bedroom door, sliding down as I silently wept for the end of my forever.
A short while later I heard the door to my suite close and I pulled myself off the floor, intent on being at the airport before Andrew decided to come knocking. I threw all my clothes and travel items in my suitcase and double checked that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I took the time to sit down and write two letters. One to Josh explaining where I went and the other to Andrew.
I slid the individually addressed letters under the door to Josh’s room and wheeled my belongings to the elevator. The doorman loaded my luggage into the taxi as I was whisked to the airport and out of New Orleans.
I turned my phone on at the airport while I was waiting for my flight. Luckily, I was able to get a stand-by flight at 4 am so I didn’t have a long wait. I saw 16 missed text messages from Andrew but didn’t open them up, afraid I would waver on my conviction to be done and move on.
I sent Maddie a quick text, letting her know I was coming home a day early, powered my phone back off, and waited for them to call for loading. The flight was mostly empty and the flight crew told us to sit where we wanted to. I found a seat at the back of the plane and pulled my hoodie from my bag, hiding away from the other late-night travelers.
An hour and a half later, the captain’s static voice came over the speaker letting us know we were about to land in Atlanta and I dried the tears that had fallen since we took off. I allowed myself to cry and grieve for my lost destiny, vowing to be stronger when I got back to Georgia.
Taking the train to the main terminal, I walked out expecting to have to hail a cab. I was unprepared for my best friend and her husband to be standing there waiting for me in the passenger pick-up area.
The tears came again as I ran to Maddie and she wrapped me in her arms. Lucas embraced both of us before loading my luggage into the car and driving off into the rising sun. Neither asked why I was home in the middle of the night as we made our way up the highway, traffic non-existent before the city began to wake up.
“Do you want me to come up with you? I can take today off and we can lay in bed all day, watching crappy movies.” Maddie asked as Lucas removed my suitcase from the truck and placed his arm around her shoulder, giving her a subtle squeeze.
“I’m going to take a shower and wash the trip off then I’m going to lay down and get some sleep. Thank you, but I really need to be alone today. Okay?”
“Only if you are sure. I really want to stay with you.” She insisted.
“I’m positive. I’ll sleep for a few hours and I have some errands to take care of today. Thank you for picking me up. I’ll call you later.” I replied as I hugged them both quickly and made my way into my building, the elevator empty on the ride up to my lonely apartment.
I need to get used to being alone, I think to myself as I unlock the door and fall into my safe space. Leaving my luggage at the door, I secured the apartment and crawled into bed, hoping dreams eluded me.
I was jolted awake by a banging on the front door. Looking at the clock, I had been asleep for nine hours and I felt like I hadn’t slept a wink. I made my way slowly to the front door and saw Maddie through the peephole before unlocking the door and ushering her inside.
She engulfed me in a hug that had me pulling back from her, the discomfort in my breasts and now, my arms, ribs, hips, and upper back, caused me to wince.
“How bad are you hurt, Caroline? Josh called me this morning when he found your letters and couldn’t get you on the phone. Why didn’t you tell me what happened when I picked you up from the airport?” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about me.” I told her as I made my way into the kitchen to get some pain relievers and a bottle of water.
“I don’t believe you. Will you show me?” she asked as I swallowed a few pills and recapped my bottle.
I sat down on the couch and pulled my shirt up; unsure how bad the bruising was under my soft clothes. One look at my chest had Maddie’s hand flying up to cover her mouth and a cry escaping. I let my shirt back down and pulled my feet onto the couch, turning my head away from her. “That bad, huh?”
“I just wasn’t expecting it to be over such a large area. Josh was unsure of what happened before…”
“Before Andrew showed up, beat the hell out of two drunks who got handsy, and accused me of allowing them to hurt Emily? Before that?” I cried to her, the anger from my pain becoming palpable.
“How does something like that happen? You are covered in bruises from the middle of your stomach to your shoulders. Do I need to take you to an emergency room?” she inquired, unsure of how to help me in my moment of physical pain.
“No hospitals. These two drunk guys grabbed me and were forcibly groping me, both of them. Emily tried to intervene and one of them grabbed her arm. The one I told you had been fixed after her accident. She screamed and Andrew and Josh came running. Andrew started fighting them both and Josh picked me and Emily off the ground. The rest, I’m sure he filled you in on.” I said, unable to repeat the hateful words and the disgusted look he gave me.
“Did you talk to Andrew or Emily since last night?”
“No. I turned my phone off and I plan to keep it that way for a while. I’ll let Emily know I’m okay but I have nothing to say to Andrew. Like I told Josh last night, the book of Andrew and Caroline is closed. Forever.”
“Why don’t you take a few days off and heal. There isn’t any pressing business since you sent everything to legal last week. Relax and find yourself again, Caroline. Talk to him, let him know how badly you’re hurt. Let him explain why he said what he said. For me, will you take a couple of days and think about it?”
“I won’t promise anything but I will take a few days to try to work from home. I put too much effort into this trip to allow a bump in the road to derail all my hard work” I told her as she made her way to the door and turned to gently hug me.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Caroline. It’s okay to be weak from time to time. Let your friends get you through this. Please don’t shut us out.”
“I’m going back to sleep now. I’ll call you in a few days. I love you.” I told her as I locked the door behind her and fell back into bed, not leaving it for three days.
We had walked into the house and Emily looked at me with an expression I couldn’t understand. I expected her to be angry or even disappointed in me but it was the sadness showing on her face that had me confused.
“I’m taking the keys to bed with me. I don’t want you to try and make things right with her tonight. You need some time to cool off and she needs some time to…” her words left hanging as she gave me a hug and went into her room.
She needs time to decide if I’m worth the trouble when I proved to her tonight that she w
asn’t.
My entire focus had been on Emily and making sure she was okay that I never even checked to see if Caroline was injured. After Emily had explained that Caroline was the intended target, I felt like I was going to be sick. I had blamed her for Emily but never took her well-being into consideration when I told her and Josh to leave.
I woke up the next morning before the sun had fully risen, feeling like my life was completely out of control. Sleep had eluded me most of the night and I didn’t know what to expect when Caroline and Josh came in this morning to go over the paperwork.
I took my shower, the house unusually quiet as I made my way to the kitchen to start the coffee. The half-perked pot let me know Emily was already up. I didn’t hear her in her bedroom so I checked outside and saw her bike was already gone.
Returning to the dining room I found my keys on the table with a note from Emily explaining she was at the gym getting an early workout before our meeting and she didn’t want to wake me. I sat down and recalled the events yesterday that had led up to my explosive temper.
The gentle touches, the whispered words of love and devotion, the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be—destroyed in a matter of moments with my blind rage. My issues from the past were still affecting my current life and I felt powerless to find my way out of the misery I put myself into.
I prayed when she walked into the gym this morning that she would give me a chance to grovel for her forgiveness, but I doubted she would give it to me. I cast her aside when she was hurt and I was careless with her emotions, right after I promised her I would do anything to make her happy.
I am such as asshole!
I arrived at the gym and saw Emily’s bike and a sports utility vehicle with Georgia plates parked out front and surmised that Josh and Caroline were already here for their meeting. I drew in a deep breath and exhaled, trying to settle my rapid heart rate. The next few minutes may very well make or break my future with Caroline and I felt powerless to control the outcome.
The Love That Heals Me (Forever Mine Book 2) Page 14