by Jamie Loeak
in her hands, guilt and regret welling up in her chest, pressing a weight on her heart.
“That’s understandable,” Adriana said. She nodded once, then tilted her head to the side. She sat up suddenly. “Have you ever thought, that you were able to choose who was hurt? What if you had gone to your telescope? Do you think that it would have been empty also?”
Kate contemplated his statement, knowing the answer already. “I think that he knew I was going to choose the wrong telescope; he knew I would choose you over myself, and he used that against me.”
“What do you mean when you say he knew, Kate?” Adriana asked her.
“This dream was different. I’m usually drawn to the things that I’m supposed to see. I never get to make a choice.”
Rico finally spoke, his voice low and serious. “You think that Erik pulled you into this dream?” He stood in the corner, ends of his damp hair releasing water droplets that fell to the floor. His dark grey shirt hugged his torso; the image of his unearthly beauty stood out against the backdrop of the bland, white paint. Kate tried to ignore it.
“Yes,” she said, certain now that it was true. “Yes,” she repeated, more for her own, selfish confirmation. “I think he did. I think he wanted me to see that he wasn’t finished with me, with you, with all of us. He knows that we know about the dark magic, and I think he intends to do something about it.”
“Do you have any idea what it could be?” Adriana pressed.
“No,” Kate said. “But one thing’s for certain.”
“What’s that?” Rico interrupted as he stood up from the wall. He moved closer, his arms crossed over his chest, his hands gripping his upper arms.
“It’s already been done,” Kate said sadly.
“How do you know?” Adriana asked.
“He wouldn’t have shown me unless it worked, unless his plan had been successful,” Kate nearly sobbed. “Why didn’t I look into my telescope? Why was I so stupid?” she said as she fell into her reading chair. Kate buried her face in her hands, and took a moment to really cry about this situation. An immense weight had been pressed on her shoulders, and she could no longer hold it up. Kate could no longer pretend to be strong. She felt weak, weaker than she had ever been in her entire life. And one thing was certain right now: Erik didn’t give her the option to choose who he would hurt or kill; he showed her the truth about who she loved. He showed her that she didn’t love her parents the most. For some reason, she loved Adriana and Rico more.
That was a secret she’d never confess.
21
Kate stayed home for the next couple of days, looking out for her mother, waiting for her father to come home so that she could look out for him too. She was a ticking time bomb, on the verge of breaking down or exploding. Her demeanor changed, and her mother noticed.
“Are you fighting with Rico?” Blaire asked one morning at breakfast.
“What?” Kate asked distractedly.
“I asked you if you’ve been fighting with Rico,” her mother repeated.
Kate blinked a few times. “Oh. No. I’m just wondering about Dad’s case.” Kate picked up her hot tea and took a sip.
Blaire sighed and reached out, resting her hand on Kate’s. “Darling, your father should be back within a couple of days. I promise. If not, I’ll make sure to call and ask him to come home. Okay?”
Kate nodded and turned back to her breakfast, lost in thought once more.
On the third night, Aaron came home. Kate’s stress levels dissipated, but not enough to change her outward appearance. She still slunk around in an attempt to search for something wrong, but she found nothing. If she wasn’t searching, she was grumbling internally - mostly internally - about having to stay alert at all times. It was hard to sleep, hard to eat, hard to focus on one task for too long; she couldn’t see how Adriana and Rico did this all the time.
“What’s wrong, baby?” her father asked her the night he came home. The family was sitting in the living area, gathered around the television, watching the black and white credits of a movie roll by. The music in the background was soft.
“Nothing,” Kate said as she stared blankly at the screen. She was really focused on the sounds outside. “I guess I’ve just been worried about having to move soon. I like my friends here. I don’t really want to move anymore. I think I’ve found where I belong.”
“I think that you’re right,” her dad said. “You do belong here, Kate.”
The next morning, Kate walked in on an argument between her mother and father. She faltered; her parents rarely fought, and they usually took it to their bedroom so that Kate didn’t have to hear it, or better yet, didn’t know about it.
“What do you mean they took you off the case?” Blaire hissed. “You’ve been working on it so much. You’re dedicated to this man, to his livelihood, to his future. They have no right to take you off.”
“Honey, they said that was the problem. They said that I’ve put so much into this case. They say that I’m much too attached to it.”
“You’ve been attached to cases before, Aaron. Why would they take you off this one? It was your attachment to them that made you win!”
“This company is different, Blaire. I don’t understand what’s going on any more than you do. I don’t like it either, but I haven’t been there long. I don’t really have a say in this company,” Aaron said, sounding defeated.
Kate listened as her parents started putting away the dishes, and she counted to ten before stepping into the dining room. “Hey,” she said, feigning nonchalance.
“Good morning, honey,” her mother said sweetly, calmly. “What would you like for breakfast? Pancakes? Eggs?”
“I’m just going to grab a bowl of cereal,” Kate replied as she reached for a bowl out of the dish drain. “Thanks for asking, though.” She tried to smile at her mom, to tell her that things would be okay, but the smile that she received in return was weaker than she’d ever seen.
Kate focused her attention on her father, hoping that he was okay. He looked haggard, like he hadn’t been sleeping. She watched while he took a sip of his warm coffee. The mug shook as he brought it to his dry, cracked lips. His first sip went well, but as he attempted to swallow the other, he ended up having a coughing fit.
Kate and her mother ran over to him. Blaire felt his head, checking for a temperature while Kate handed him a glass of water and took the mug of coffee.
“Honey,” Blaire said to him, “You’re burning up. I think you should go lie down. I’ll bring you over some toast with honey on it in a minute.”
Aaron stood up, mumbling assent, and walked slowly to his bedroom.
Blaire rushed toward the toaster, made some toast, and rushed it to him. She came out looking worried. “Honey, can you take care of your father today?” she asked. “He has a bad cold. He had about five coughing fits when I went in there and he’s shivering. I can’t take off work to take care of him right now; they need me. I’m so sorry.” Blaire bit her lower lip and glanced back toward her bedroom door, where Aaron was currently coughing.
Kate nodded and reached for her mom’s arm, gripping it tightly as she smiled bravely up at Blaire. “Of course I’ll take care of him, Mom. And it’s okay that you have to work today. We didn’t see this coming. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thank you so much,” Blaire said as she kissed Kate’s forehead. She walked over to grab her bag. A minute later she stepped out of the house.
Kate sat in the living room all day, listening to her father’s loud coughing. She got up more than once, convinced that he was coughing up a lung. He accepted the glasses of ice water that she brought him but insisted that she leave, that he didn’t want to get her sick. She obliged and went back to the living room and sat there, looking out the window, waiting for him to need her once again.
Kate was in the middle of her latest vampire romance, comparing the main character’s problems to her own, when her father had a dangerously long coughing session. Kate rus
hed into the room to find her father leaning over a trash can. He tried to shoo Kate away by telling her that he didn’t want her to see him like that. She insisted on staying, but it resulted in him yelling at her.
Kate’s lip quivered as she walked out of the room. Her father hadn’t yelled at her like that since she was a little girl. She sat down on the couch, thinking of that day.
Kate had been five years old. She was running around the beach that summer. Her mother wasn’t far from her, working with Aaron near the tidal pools. Kate had been jumping on the rocks, staring into the tidal pools, asking her mother and father questions about the organisms inside. She grew bored quickly, though, and started running up and down the beach. She kept testing how far she could get from her parents, running out a couple feet, then looking back to see if they cared; they never cared so she kept going farther and farther.
At one point, Kate couldn’t see her parents. She stopped there and began playing in the smaller waves closest to shore. A young man came up to her while she played alone. He began talking to Kate, asking her questions about her life and her family. She had answered the stranger willingly, unafraid.
She sat there, talking to the stranger for fifteen minutes before she heard her parents screaming her name. She looked in the direction of their voices and waited for them to come meet her new best friend. Her parents were frantic when they found her,