Elizabeth was sitting by William at dinner, watching him closely. The news that morning had changed him. William continued talking to his brothers and knights as if nothing had changed, but he was ignoring her. Even now, when they were sitting side by side, he did not look at her at all. His behaviour worried Elizabeth. She had worked so hard to make him open his heart and let her in, and now it appeared it had all been a lie. It was obvious he was still obsessed with Jane.
Jealousy heated her blood. Jane was the reason why William was ignoring Elizabeth, she was sure.
Jane was in very bad condition and could die any day, but even now, Elizabeth would not allow her to take away William. William was her husband and she would fight for him against any woman. Even if that woman was about to die.
Elizabeth swallowed the tears stuck in her throat. An inner voice told her to calm down. Jane would die and William would belong to Elizabeth.
But what if Jane didn’t die? What if she recovered? Now, with Jane widowed, Elizabeth doubted William would leave her alone.
William rose from the table as soon as dinner was over. He gave Elizabeth his hand and walked her to their chamber. The entire way William did not say a word. It was not necessary. His gloomy face and continued silence told Elizabeth much more than any words could ever say. Jealousy twisted like a knife in Elizabeth’s heart. The very thought that the man she loved suffered because of another woman was slowly killing her, tearing her heart apart into a thousand small pieces. Elizabeth doubted he would suffer as much if something had happened to her.
Stop thinking about it, she commanded herself. You need to win him over, not to spoil your relationship with William even more.
When they entered the solar, Elizabeth held her breath. Would he send her back to her chamber? The very thought of it made her hands shake. William felt it. For the first time since that morning he looked at her and Elizabeth saw warmth there. William gave her a tired smile and walked her to his chamber. Elizabeth could not help a smile of relief.
When the door closed behind them, Elizabeth helped William undress and go to bed. Hildred entered to help Elizabeth undress, but she dismissed the maid. She wanted to be alone with William and would not tolerate anyone else’s presence.
Slowly, Elizabeth undressed in front of the dying fire and changed into a chemise.
She crawled into bed and leaned against William. He was on his back, staring into the air, immersed in his thoughts.
Elizabeth frowned, but then took control of her emotions and her face relaxed. Still, her heart pounded. His thoughts were of Jane.
But his body was here, she thought. She would prove to him that she was better than Jane; that her love was true. Elizabeth bent her head and kissed his neck, her hand slowly sliding down his wide chest under the duvet. When her fingers reached his stomach, he caught her hand.
“Don’t,” he looked at her. There was so much pain and despair in his eyes that she wanted to cry.
She moved away from him, staring at him in disbelief. She fought back the tears that were ready to fall down her cheeks. She would not show him how humiliated she felt. Elizabeth bit her bottom lip, took a deep breath, and put her head on his chest, gently stroking it. The sound of his beating heart calmed her somewhat.
Soon she heard his breaths become deep and even. William was asleep. Only now Elizabeth allowed herself to turn away and give in to the tears that she had been battling all day.
Conflicting emotions tore her apart. On the one hand she was dreadfully jealous and wanted William to stay as far away from Jane as possible. On the other, she understood that William had loved Jane long before she and William ever met, and as his first love, she would always be a special part of his life. Elizabeth felt pity for him. Jane was dying and he would never be able to see her again. It must be dreadful to be here knowing that he might be too late to say farewell when they arrived at Harmton castle.
***
It was late the next night when they finally reached Harmton castle. Its huge silhouette darkened against a star-lit sky. Dozens of torches on the walls made it look almost mystical. Elizabeth looked at the huge fortification in front of her and couldn’t believe that she had managed to run away from it.
They rode through the valley where the wedding guests had once set up their camps. With a smile Elizabeth saw the place where they had gathered with the Stafford brothers before riding away. How much her life had changed since then.
William’s party rode to the castle gates. The guards let them in immediately. When they reached the inner ward, William helped Elizabeth dismount and they walked into the great hall.
“Please,” she whispered to him as they walked, “don’t leave me alone. I don’t want people to start rumours that there was something between you and Jane.”
“I will do what I have to,” he said. “You know what Jane means to me.”
“I don’t know what she means,” Elizabeth cut him off, hurt by his words, “but I know that I am your wife and you have to be respectful of me.”
“I will spend the nights in your chamber,” there was an annoyance in his voice, “if this is the only thing that worries you. But the rest of the time I will spend with her.”
If looks could kill, William would be dead after these words. Anger and hatred built up in her soul. She wanted to tell William off, but she could not afford it in front of the servants who had gathered in the great hall to greet them. She swallowed the insult, although it was hard to do.
A few moments later, Edward came down. He was drunk and could hardly walk.
“Welcome back home, Elizabeth,” he smiled and greeted William.
“Where is she?” William asked.
Edward called one of the maids, “Show lord Stafford where Lady Jane is.”
To Elizabeth’s disbelief, William almost ran, following the servant, and leaving Elizabeth alone. She watched him leave, her heart aching, tears filling her eyes.
You are strong, she told herself. He does not deserve your tears.
She moved her eyes to Edward. “You need to go to bed,” she said, trying to calm down. But it was damn hard to do. She wanted to cry. To scream. To run away from all the horror that she had been through because of Jane.
“Do I?” Edward gave Elizabeth a strong embrace, “I am so glad to see you here, my dear sister. Finally, you can be here and not be afraid of anything.” He kissed her forehead. “You are safe in my castle.”
Elizabeth smiled against her will. He was right. This castle had been always dangerous to her – Harmton never have left his daughter alone. But now, with her father dead, she could breathe easily here.
“We need to go to your chamber.” She took his hand and started walking, but he stopped her.
“I live in the master chamber now. We need to go there,” he pointed to the opposite direction. “Besides,” he raised his voice and looked at the servants, saying, “Put some food on the table. Our guests are hungry.”
Elizabeth helped Edward up to the master chamber. With a pounding heart, she entered the hated room. To her surprise, the room had changed drastically. Every reminder of her father had been removed. The only thing left of her father’s was a massive bed.
Edward walked to the bed and fell across it, not bothering to take his clothes off, and buried his face in the pillows.
Elizabeth stood there watching him, and trying to understand what had happened.
“Why are you so drunk?” she finally asked. “I have never seen you in such condition.” She had wanted to ask when they met in the great hall but waited until they were alone rather than embarrass him in front of others.
Minutes passed by, but Edward kept silent. When he finally spoke, there was a lot of pain in his voice. “Jane is dying because of me.”
Elizabeth’s brows went up in surprise. “How is that possible? I will never believe that you have beaten her.”
Edward shook his head. “I haven’t beaten her,” he said with sadness. “It was Harmton. But she suffered becaus
e of our child.”
“What?” Elizabeth thought that she misheard it.
“Jane was expecting my child,” he closed his eyes. “I wanted him to be born. But when I left to warn you about Humphrey, the man we once called father beat Jane and caused her miscarriage. He almost killed her. I avenged my child,” Edward said, barely able to form the words. “I killed our father.”
Elizabeth frowned. There were too many revelations for her to handle. She was feeling like she was about to faint. She sat down on the floor by the bed and covered her face with her hands, unable to believe what she’d just heard.
What kind of woman was Jane? Why did both men who meant so much to Elizabeth love her so much?
The sound of even breathing from the bed told Elizabeth that Edward had fallen asleep. Elizabeth got up and slowly walked downstairs, crossed the great hall and went through the door, through which William disappeared some time ago. She wanted to see the woman who played such a huge role in her life.
When Elizabeth approached the second floor, she heard a passionate whisper through a half open door.
Elizabeth slowly entered the chamber, trying not to make any noise.
It was Jane’s chamber. She was peacefully sleeping, and William knelt beside her. Jane was between life and death and still managed to stay beautiful, Elizabeth thought with envy. Her pale skin reflected her beauty.
William held her hand. “Jane,” he whispered. There were sobs in his voice. “Wake up. Don’t leave me alone. You know how much I need you. You are the only woman I have ever loved. If you die, I will have no reason to live.”
Elizabeth covered her mouth with her hand, tears running down her cheeks like waterfalls in springtime. Silent sobs escaped her throat. She listened to her husband and couldn’t believe what she heard. She had shared a bed with this man and still meant nothing to him. She loved him and he betrayed her so easily.
Elizabeth wiped tears from her cheeks and rushed out of the chamber. Blinded, she bumped into James on the stairs. A quick look at her face told him everything.
He gave Elizabeth a strong embrace, while she struggled to wipe the moisture from her eyes. But to her frustration the tears refused to stop. She did not want anyone, including James, to see how much William’s words had hurt her.
“He is a fool,” James whispered to her and lifted her chin up. “He is too stupid to understand which woman he should really treasure.” He said as he looked into her eyes.
Before Elizabeth could knew what was happening, James bent down and his lips touched hers in a soft kiss. She closed her eyes and for a short moment she felt loved and desired again. The tears dried at once.
“James,” she whispered when he pulled away.
He put his finger on her lips, silencing her. “I know you love my brother, even though he does not deserve it. I’ve moved out of his way. Still, if he does not change, I will do all I can to win your heart. I cannot forgive myself that I allowed him to take you to Backleigh castle and make you his prisoner afterwards. I should have fought for you.”
He shook his head as if to rid the memories.
“So, all this time…”
“Yes,” he cut her off. “I fell in love with you when I helped you run away and haven’t stopped loving you since. What a fool I am.”
“Thank you,” Elizabeth whispered. These were the most touching words she had ever heard.
James grinned crookedly, making her smile. His usual mood returned to him. “If I have a chance again I won’t let it go.” He gently wiped tears from her eyes. “You should go, lass. Otherwise, I will kiss you again.”
“I wish I could fall in love with you, not with William. But ‘tis too late now. Thank you for being such a good friend.” She pulled closer to James and landed a soft kiss on his cheek. Then, she stepped away and rushed downstairs before he could kiss her again.
Chapter Thirteen
Another bout of vomiting made Elizabeth bend over a bucket. When it was over, Elizabeth wiped her mouth and sat down on the floor beside her bed. What was wrong with her? She had never been sickly.
She must have eaten some spoilt food last night. There was no other explanation. When she was feeling considerably better, Elizabeth got up and laid down on the bed. The empty bed. She looked at the empty space beside her with a sad smile and her chest rose, then fell with a heavy sigh.
William had returned to Jane’s side early this morning, before Elizabeth opened her eyes. She should accept such behaviour from her husband, but she could not. Over the last two weeks in Harmton castle, he spent every day constantly by Jane’s bed. The same as Edward. As William had promised her, he spent his nights in her bed, but it wasn’t enough. His body was in her bed, but his soul was with Jane. He never kissed Elizabeth, never even touched her. Never spoke to her.
To Elizabeth’s frustration, the danger was over and Jane was getting better every day. It meant that one day she would open her eyes and William’s heart would belong to her forever. Elizabeth’s heart squeezed from the pain that these thoughts caused her, but she couldn’t help it. She had lost her fight against Jane and she had to admit it. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.
Suddenly, another spasm went through her stomach and vomiting followed.
“My lady,” Martha entered the chamber just as Elizabeth bent over the bucket. “How do you feel?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath and tried to smile, not daring to move far away from the bucket. “I must have eaten something spoilt last night. I’ve been feeling sick for the entire morning.”
Martha smiled at her. “Are you sure this is because of food?”
Elizabeth looked at Martha with suspicion. “What are you trying to say?”
“My lady might be with child,” the young woman’s smile became wider with every word she said.
Elizabeth sat on the floor in surprise. She suspected it herself, but the news was too good to believe. Hearing Martha say it out loud, Elizabeth could finally believe it.
***
Jane was dreaming. She was walking in a beautiful blossoming garden, enjoying the scents of jasmine and roses, when she heard William’s voice behind her. It sounded distant, yet very close. She felt his breath on her neck.
“Jane,” he said, and her heart overflowed with joy, “Jane, I love you.” She turned around to look at him, but he wasn’t there. “Come back to me, Jane. Open your eyes.”
Jane obeyed and opened her eyes, though it was very hard to do. Now she was in her own chamber, lit with sunlight, and William was sitting by her side. His face was pale, his eyes surrounded by dark circles. Why did he look so bad in her dream?
But to her surprise, William stared at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. “Jane,” he almost cried. It was too loud, and she made a wry face. “You are awake,” he started kissing her hands, “I was afraid I would never see you again.”
Only now did Jane realize that it wasn’t a dream. William was there, with her, and he loved her. They were finally together. Her lips curled in a happy smile.
“What happened?” she asked vaguely.
“Do you remember anything?” William’s voice was full of compassion. He squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes.
“No,” she shook her head.
She would never tell him that she remembered everything. She remembered that Harmton tried to kill her because of her affair with another man, and that Edward had pushed his father down the stairs. It had to remain secret from William. He thought she was an innocent woman, and it had to be like that.
William’s face darkened when he started retelling Jane what had happened.
“Your husband beat you and you lost your child. You spent more than two weeks unconscious. You were in very bad condition. Matilda, a healer from the village, brought you back to this world with her potions.”
“It cannot be,” she forced a lonely tear, trying to look scared. She had always been a good pretender and she would succeed this time, too. “I could
n’t lose your child. How can I live now?” she forced a lone tear, although it was hard to do.
“Jane,” William pulled her into his arms, “don’t cry. It’s all over now. You are alive and that’s what important.”
“How can you ever forgive me for losing your son?”
William’s eyes went wide, “What are you saying? I was told that it was Harmton’s child. You are just confused by all you have been through.”
“No, it was our child—yours and mine—from the last night we made love in the meadow.”
William’s eyes filled with tears, and he stood, turning away. “Why tell me this now? How could you marry that fat bastard when you were carrying my son? Were you going to pass him off as Harmton’s?”
“Where is my husband?” Jane asked, seizing the opportunity to distract William. This time the fear in her voice was real. If he managed to survive, then she was in big trouble.
“He is dead.”
Jane sighed with relief, “Now that he is dead, you and I can have another child together. You can have your marriage to Elizabeth annulled, and we can be together at last!”
“Don’t worry, my love, that old man will never hurt you again. That nightmare is finally over.”
Jane smiled. She was a widow, finally. And no one could stop her from getting William back. Except for his wife. She was the last obstacle to Jane’s happiness.
William continued, “I am glad that you are free of Harmton, but I cannot just leave Elizabeth as you seem to think. It’s also very likely that you will never be able to bear children again because of your injuries. I will need an heir, and Elizabeth may be able to give me one.”
***
Elizabeth put on a light blue velvet dress with a deep neckline. The edge of the neckline, wide sleeves, and the bottom of the skirt were in a deep blue colour. Martha combed her hair and wove a dark blue ribbon into it. Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror.
“You look beautiful, my lady,” Martha said, stepping aside.
Elizabeth gave a grateful smile to the maid and left the chamber.
His Rival's Daughter (Stafford Family Book 1) Page 23