“I wanted to ask, but the timing never seemed right. I guess I was scared.”
“You’re letting him fuck up your life, again!” Beth shouted.
Lottie had hung up the phone without telling her about the blowjob she’d given David. She convinced herself it was because she didn’t need to be judged any more than she already was. But the truth was that she was ashamed of herself. In the moment, she’d felt sexy and powerful. But after he zipped up his flight suit, put on his boots—saying he had better get going or he’d be late for his sim—and left, she felt like a fool. Again.
Beth and Lottie didn’t speak until the following Monday morning in the teachers’ lounge. Not that they’d had much of a conversation then. Beth came in and put her arm around Lottie and sat quietly until the first bell rang.
And Grant. Grant had been completely wonderful to her. She explained that she just wasn’t ready to date until she knew whether she was officially divorced or…what. He said he understood and wanted her to be happy and that he didn’t want to make things complicated for her.
Even though he stopped coming to her room for lunch, he always smiled whenever he saw her, and she used that time alone to write letters to David. Her letter writing days were nearing an end, though. It was his last Saturday deployed, and although he wasn’t returning to Altus, she was hoping he would ask her to come out to Hawaii to see him and talk it over. School was nearly out for the year, so the timing would work out perfectly for her. That’s what this letter contained…all the questions she’d been holding in for thirty-eight days.
Pickles barked and scratched at the glass door. “I’m not going for a walk yet. Mommy’s coming back inside.”
She shooed him away from the door as she squeezed back inside. “Let’s get dressed and go meet Aunt Beth at the reservoir.”
Pickles followed her into the bedroom and laid down on the carpet as she threw on her walking clothes. He always went nuts when she pulled her tennis shoes from the closet. “That’s a good boy.” She scratched his head as she raced into the hallway. Lottie clipped on Pickles’s leash and grabbed her keys. He pulled on the leash and jumped around, nearly tripping her. “Calm down, weirdo!”
Once in the car, Pickles put his paws on the dash and panted excitedly. She rolled down the windows and headed for the reservoir. “We’re gonna have lots of places to walk in Hawaii.” Lottie scratched his back as she pulled in to the parking area. Beth was nowhere to be seen. Lottie climbed out of the car and took Pickles to the water’s edge so he could watch the ducks. He pranced in place but never tried to harm them. It was almost as if he was waiting for an invitation to join them for a swim.
Lottie stood for a while then sat in the dirt, careful not to sit on any duck poop. She cursed herself for not bringing her phone. “Well, Pickles, looks like Aunt Beth isn’t coming today. I guess it’s just us.” Lottie dusted off her butt and took Pickles around the reservoir. On lap two and a half, she heard someone jogging up behind her and felt a hard slap on her butt.
“Hey, hot butt!”
“Where have you been? I thought you weren’t coming.”
“Hey Pickles, baby!” Beth scratched Pickles behind the ears as he jumped up on her for attention.
“Pickles, down.” Lottie gave him a little tug on the leash. “No jump.”
“Sorry, I’m late babe. I had to run to the drugstore this morning.”
“The drugstore? You couldn’t do that after?”
“Well, yeah, I could’ve, but I was a little anxious to find out if I’m pregnant or not.”
Lottie froze. “Pregnant?”
“My period just kept not coming, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Michael said I was on his last nerve and told me to get a test and take it so I could finally find out.”
“So, did you take it?”
“I did.” Beth grinned.
“And?”
“And…” Beth pursed her lips and nodded. “I’m knocked up!”
“Oh my God! Congratulations!” Lottie hugged Beth.
“Thanks. I mean, it wasn’t planned, but I’m happy about it, and Michael is so happy I almost wonder if he’s been harboring a secret wish to have a baby and just never told me.”
“That’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you. I guess I’ll need to throw you a baby shower.”
“Ew! No! I can’t stand those fuckin’ things. Just take me out to dinner with a few of the non-obnoxious people from work instead.”
“But with gifts, right?”
“Oh, of course. Or cash.” Beth bumped Lottie in the hip. “Let’s get walking. Apparently, my body is going to fight even harder to get fat now.”
The three of them walked around the reservoir a couple of times. Beth was unusually quiet and kept looking at Lottie, who finally stopped in her tracks and turned to her. “What? Do I have one of those hanging boogers or something?”
“No. It’s just…”
“What? You guys didn’t get orders, did you?”
“No. It’s…well.” Beth bit her lip and then sucked in a deep breath. “I saw something this morning, and I’ve been debating whether I should tell you.”
“Okay.” Lottie gulped.
“You know that gas station across the street from the drugstore?”
“Yeah.”
Beth scratched her head and averted her eyes.
“What?” Lottie shook her head.
“I saw Grant pull in and pump some gas.”
“Wow. Exciting news.” Lottie rolled her eyes. “I told you a million times it’s not awkward between us. He’s been great. He’s backed off while I try to figure out what’s going on with David.”
“That redhead we ran into that time they met us here got out of the truck, kissed him, and went inside the gas station.”
“Oh. Tiffany. Her name is Tiffany.” Lottie’s insides crumbled. Her eyes began to water, and her chin trembled.
Beth leaned in to hug her.
“I’m all right. I mean, why shouldn’t he date someone? And of course, Tiffany is interested in him and she’s so pretty.”
Pickles barked at a lone, meandering duck and ran off toward it, the leash slipped from Lottie’s fingers. “Pickles! No! Pickles, come back here.” She chased after him. Tears spilled down her face; she was barely able to see through her watering eyes. Pickles slowed at the edge of the water, giving Lottie enough time to grab his leash before he waded in. Lottie slid down and sat next to the water, hugging Pickles. “Don’t you run away from me, sir.”
Beth sat down beside her and put her arm around Lottie’s shoulder.
Lottie leaned her head on Beth. “Why does everything in my life have to be such a shit show?”
Beth squeezed her closer and sat with her until the tears stopped leaking out.
David.
She knew Beth was thinking he was the reason—because she was too—but was too good of a friend to say so when she was hurting.
***
Grant
Tiffany came bounding out of the gas station with a small four pack of wine coolers. She held it up for him to see, smiling widely.
“I hope you don’t think I’m drinking one of those. I thought you were just going to grab some iced teas.” Grant replaced the gas pump handle and sighed.
“This will make our trip a little more fun.” She slid into the truck, sitting in the middle seat rather than the window.
“I’m not sure hiking near buffalo while tipsy is a good idea.”
“Those buffalo are used to people hiking in the area, and I mean, it’s just walking and looking at rocks. I need to spice it up somehow.”
Grant raised his brows, shook his head, and pursed his lips while starting the engine and heading out of the gas station toward the Wichita Wildlife Refuge. Tiffany twisted off the top of a wine cooler and guzzled half of it down before holding it out to him.
He waved her off. “I’m driving.”
“The road is completely straight, and there isn’t that far
to go. It won’t even hit you before we get there. Quit being such a fuddy-duddy.”
“How can I, when that’s what I am?” Grant raised a brow at her. For someone who was so interested in dating him, she sure didn’t seem to want an older man who didn’t make decisions like a frat boy.
Before reaching the refuge, Tiffany had finished two and a half wine coolers. Although they weren’t big, the fact that she weighed about one hundred pounds meant that they really didn’t have to be. He considered drinking the rest of them just to keep her from doing it. Once they parked, Tiffany hopped out of the truck, letting the empty wine cooler bottles fall to the ground. When she didn’t bend down to pick them up, Grant circle around, picked them up, and put them in the bed of the truck, Tiffany oblivious to his grumbling.
He pulled on his backpack, locked the truck, and took Tiffany’s hand as they headed off down the trail. “I can’t believe you’ve lived here your whole life and have never hiked these trails.”
“I’m not a huge fan of the outdoors. I’m more of an indoor person.”
“You might change your mind when you check out the beautiful views here, though.” He grinned.
Tiffany’s eyes widened, and her lips pursed. “We’ll see.”
“Okay, tell me what you like to do indoors?”
“I like to watch TV, tweet, and paint designs on my toenails and fingernails. Oh, I also like to make my own jewelry. One day I hope to have my own boutique.”
“In Altus?”
“No, probably Oklahoma City or Tulsa. You used to live in Tulsa, right? Do you think you’ll move back there?”
“I don’t know. I’m kind of happy being back in Altus.” That wasn’t necessarily true. Grant hadn’t really given much thought to what he might do in the future. He was too busy taking care of Nana. Even if he had thought it over, he wasn’t sure if he wanted Tiffany seeing him as her ticket out of town. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on in her mind. They’d only been dating three weeks, but she was getting a little too close for his comfort. She was a nice girl, but he was sure that she was just way too young for him or, rather, he was too old for her.
Grant jumped from boulder to boulder upwards along the path and quickly realized that Tiffany was nowhere near him. He turned. “Do you need me to give you a hand?”
Shielding the sun from her eyes with one hand, she put her hip on the other. “I’ll just wait down here.”
“The view from up here is amazing, though. I don’t want you to miss it. I’ll come down and help you up.” Grant made his way back down to Tiffany.
“If I go up there, then can we leave?”
“What? We just got here. We’ve barely been hiking an hour.”
“I know, but we have to go the whole way back, and it’ll be two hours. I think I’ve had enough fresh air for the day. I didn’t have enough wine to make this fun.”
Grant turned away from Tiffany to look up at the top of the hill. He grimaced and rubbed his face before pressing on a smile and turning back to her. “Sure, here…” Grant dropped his backpack to the ground and squatted down. “Hop on my back and I’ll carry you up.”
“Really? No. You can’t carry me all the way up there. I’m too fat.”
Grant rolled his eyes. “Come on. You know you’re not fat.”
Tiffany jumped on his back, he hooked his arm under her leg, picked up the backpack with the other, and started heading back up the hill. Tiffany squeaked every time he leapt from one boulder to the next.
“I promise, I’m not gonna drop you.”
Once they reached the top, Grant set her down and took her hand as they walked toward the overlook. Buffalo were grazing down below, and the landscape was rugged and beautiful prairie.
“Wasn’t it worth it?” Grant smiled.
Tiffany shrugged. “I guess.”
Grant turned to her. “You really don’t think so?”
“Well, I mean, it’s rocks and grass.” Tiffany crinkled her nose and shrugged again. “Oh, but let’s take a selfie!” She pulled her phone out of her pocket, wrapped her arm around him, and smiled like she was the happiest person on earth. She took the pic, inspected it, and deleted it. “I don’t look good in that one. Let’s try again.”
Tiffany repeated that process about six more times until she thought she looked great in the photo. He noticed she didn’t look that much different in each one.
“I’m gonna put this on my Insta. You think I’ll get a signal out here?”
“I don’t know. I leave my cell in the truck when I come out here.” Grant pulled his backpack onto his shoulders.
“Oh. I got a signal.” Tiffany sat on a rock, posting her picture and speaking into her phone, “Hashtag Wichita Wildlife Refuge. Hashtag Oklahoma. Hashtag I love nature. Hashtag nature photography. Hashtag hiking.”
Grant scrunched his face when he heard her say, “Hashtag I love nature.” An indoor girl who loves nature? His mind flashed back to the one time that he and Lottie had driven through the park on their way to Lawton. He wondered what it would have been like if he’d brought Lottie to this spot. Was she really who she seemed to be as well, or was there an image that everyone presented these days all while being something else completely? Nah, he was pretty sure that Lottie was who she seemed to be.
“Okay, can we head back now?” Tiffany bounced over to him.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
“Carry me back down?” Tiffany smiled and twisted from side to side while flashing a big smile at him.
Grant slipped out of his backpack, picked up Tiffany, and carried her down to the bottom of the hill. They headed back to the truck. Tiffany finished off the wine coolers on their way back to town and told him how many likes and comments she was already getting on her picture.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lottie
Lottie rested her chin on her hand and sighed. It was almost as though she’d forgotten what to do on her lunch break, back before she had letters to write or Grant to chat with. Now she was just alone with her thoughts and worries. David hadn’t yet arrived back in Hawaii, but sending letters to Al-Udeid would be worthless; they wouldn’t make it there before he was gone, and the last letter she sent contained everything she wanted to say.
He would have the long trip back to Hawaii to think about what she said and what it was that he wanted. Her or Veronica. But she hoped he would remember the way she looked and the way she had pleased him. She wrote him while he was deployed; Veronica didn’t. Maybe she wouldn’t end up being a divorcee after all. She didn’t want to be alone. And Grant had moved on. He seemed happy with Tiffany—at least from what Beth had said.
Just as she was thinking of her, Tiffany waltzed by her door carrying a picnic basket to Grant’s room. Lottie rose and hid behind the door to peer out through the crack as Tiffany greeted him with a kiss.
As they left the room together, holding hands, Lottie pressed herself against the wall so hard she knocked her head and ended up with a bruise she didn’t realize she had until she laid her head on the pillow that evening. She tried to bring herself to be happy for Grant, he was her friend after all, but jealousy pooled in her stomach and wouldn’t let her sleep.
The following day, she again sat alone at lunch with red, tired eyes, wishing a sinkhole would open up beneath her and suck her out of the hell her life had become.
Something in her gut told her that David wasn’t going to pick her, but she’d spent the last month and a half analyzing all his actions and all his words, few though they were. She shook her doubts off and decided to believe that she’d be with her husband in Hawaii before the year was out and wouldn’t have to see Tiffany smiling as she held Grant’s hand anymore. She told herself that the only thing that really upset her about moving to Hawaii to be with David was that she was going to miss out on being there when Beth had her baby. And Pickles. The quarantine requirements for taking him to Hawaii would take six months. She was unsure if she would stay until Pickles could travel or ask Be
th to take him in until then. He did love Beth and she loved him, but the thought of making him bounce around from home to home to home after living in the shelter broke her heart. She’d have to quit her job at the school, and how would she ship her things? The military wouldn’t pay to pack her up and send all the new furniture she had to buy herself after he left. She figured she could have a large garage sale. There were always new military families moving to town who might need some furniture, and she’d donate the rest.
Lottie pulled her salad out of her sack and sighed. What she wanted was a double bacon burger and a side of fries. She twisted in her seat. Cramps raked up her back. She rested her head on her desks and moaned. The period pimple that was growing near her brow ached. There was no way to get comfortable. Misery poked at her both inside and out.
“Hey, Lottie.”
Lottie straightened up quickly. She knew that voice. It was Grant.
“Oh, hey.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t get much sleep last night. How are you doing?”
“Well, I’m heading out for lunch.”
“Oh.” Lottie’s stomach sank. He was probably going out to meet Tiffany.
“You wouldn’t want to join me, would you? You seem like you could get out of here for a few.” He grinned.
“Could we swing by the White Buffalo? I may need an espresso or two to get me through the afternoon.”
“Of course we can. I was just going to grab something from Fat Daddy’s and head back here to eat it anyway. We can swing by the White Buffalo first.”
Lottie smiled and swung her purse over her shoulder. She and Grant quickly walked down the hall. A lump formed in her throat, and her hands were sweaty. She didn’t know what to talk about. Surely, she wasn’t going to ask how things were going with Tiffany, and she hoped he wouldn’t ask how things were with David. She didn’t know anyway.
Grant opened the truck door for her, and she climbed in. He closed it and walked around to the other side. It was nice to be in his truck again. Her mind drifted to the last time she was in it, getting Pickles, heading to Lawton, stopping off at the wildlife refuge, and then getting greasy Chinese. She figured he must have been thinking about it, too, when he climbed in, because he turned to her and asked how Pickles was doing.
Easy Love Page 17