Lottie plopped onto the floor and snuggled Pickles. She could tell that he knew she was sad. He snuggled his body tightly to hers. Tears poured down her cheeks, landing on the little dog’s head, soaking his fur, but he never moved once. He listened to every word she said with eyes that seemed to understand and speak back to her with comfort.
The sunlight faded, and she soon found herself sitting in a dark room. She scooted out from under a now-sleeping Pickles, padded into the kitchen, and pulled open the cabinet. She popped an antihistamine into her mouth, ripped open the refrigerator, and chased the pill down with an old bottle of Corona that tasted little skunky. She shivered from the aftertaste and headed back to her room, turning off the light, grabbing the remote, and began wrapping herself in her burrito. Pickles darted onto the bed and snuggled up next to her.
“Okay, but just for tonight,” she told him before flipping her TV to the channel that always played old black and white films. She emptily stared at the TV while stroking Pickles’ fur. His rhythmic breathing mixing with the sound of music, singing, and tap-dancing in the film helped her drift off before any more tears escaped her eyes that evening.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Grant
Grant glanced over at the alarm clock for what felt like the millionth time of the night. Only thirty minutes remained until the alarm would sound. He grumbled and turned it off. There was no point in trying to sleep now. His mind churned all night with thoughts of dumping Tiffany and hopes of being with Lottie. The sooner the better on both accounts.
Rolling out of bed, he grabbed his throbbing head. Either lack of sleep or the rumbling thoughts had brought him one of those headaches that feels like your brain is loose in your head, slamming against the side with the slightest movement. He quietly opened the door and tip-toed into the kitchen to grab another handful of Nana’s aspirin. He decided to take a quick shower and head to the White Buffalo for his coffee rather than risking waking Nana early with the sounds of him banging in the kitchen and the heavenly aroma filling the house. He didn’t want any extra conversation surrounding the talk he was going to have with Tiffany over dinner that evening.
He knew from their text exchanges that she was completely clueless as to what was coming her way. He’d prepared himself for every possible reaction. A drink in his face. Tears. A public outburst. He’d be ready for them all.
Grant drank two tall glasses of water and headed for the bathroom where he showered quickly and slid into his bedroom to get dressed. Once ready, he slipped out the door, locking it behind him, and drove to the White Buffalo. He ordered two espressos and a white buffalo mocha—Lottie’s favorite pick-me-up combo—and guzzled the first espresso while it was still a bit too hot, burning the roof of his mouth and getting one of those little blisters. He quickly rubbed his tongue against it to pop it.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, he grimaced at the haggard-looking guy staring back at him. Puffy, dark circles rested under his eyes, and every wrinkle seemed to be twice as deep. Maybe his rough-looking appearance would be a good thing for breaking up with Tiffany. She might take one look at him and decide that perhaps he was a bit too old for her. He wasn’t sure it would be a good look for expressing his love for Lottie, though.
As he pulled into the parking lot at school, he noticed Lottie’s car was already there. He walked inside and noticed her in Dan’s office. Lottie’s back was to him, but he knew something was wrong since Dan was pushing a box of tissues toward her. Once again, he felt guilty for letting his heart skip with the hopes that she was upset about David. Someone didn’t cry when they’re getting back together with their estranged husband, right?
Grant realized he was staring when some of this white buffalo mocha spilled onto his shoe and the floor.
Shit!
He quietly set the coffee, espresso, and his briefcase on the floor, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, and mopped up the spilled coffee. He quickly tried to gather them up again but lost his grip on the coffee. It splattered all over the floor and walls. Dan rose from his desk, walked to the door, and closed it while staring at Grant with a “what is up with you” look painted across his face.
Grant scuttled down the hall to the boiler room and called out for Mr. Jones, the janitor.
“Yeah, what can I do for ya?” Mr. Jones asked as he chewed on a big bite of egg McMuffin.
“I’m sorry, but I, uh, spilled a coffee in the commons. It splattered all over the wall. If you’ll give me a mop and bucket, I’ll get it cleaned up.”
“Eh, don’t worry about that. I’m on it.” Mr. Jones plopped the rest of his egg McMuffin on a work bench and plunked a hose into a mop bucket, filling it up.
“I really don’t mind cleaning it up. It’s my fault.”
“Hey, that’s what I get paid the big bucks for.” Mr. Jones grinned and handed Grant a ‘Caution WET FLOOR’ sign. “If you don’t mind setting this up for me quick, though, I’d appreciate it.”
“No problem. Thanks again.”
“Don’t mention it, young fellow.” Mr. Jones nodded and returned his attention to the filling bucket.
Grant set up the sign and glanced at the still-closed office door before heading to the teachers’ lounge to grab a cup of Cooley’s crap to go with his remaining espresso. The adrenaline of his clumsiness would fade soon enough, and he knew he’d need to make up for the caffeine he’d spilled across the floor.
The morning went by rather quickly. It was the kids’ field day events. Grant went from cheering kids to searching the outdoor field events for signs of Lottie. She sat on the sidelines, cheering for her students with mostly a blank stare on her face. At the picnic lunch outdoors, he desperately wished he could go sit with her and tell her how he felt about her. He wanted to know what was wrong, and he wanted to fix whatever it was for her. The mothers who came to help out with field day were very chatty and kept him at the group. His students were also very excited and talked a mile a minute about their firefighter teacher. Seeing as this was his last day with the students and he wouldn’t be returning next year, he felt obligated to spend time with them. Besides, he could wait and talk to Lottie tomorrow, and he’d feel better letting her know that he had broken up with Tiffany, not that he planned to in the future. Then she’d know he was serious and not just another smooth-talking guy filled with promises of tomorrow.
At the day’s end, after giving hugs to so many students and shaking the hands of more parents than he could count, Grant made his way to Lottie’s room. The lights were off inside, and the door was locked. He peeked in through the window, still hoping he might see her inside, but she wasn’t there. He slowed as he walked by Beth’s room, but she too was gone.
He thought about asking Dan about the discussion he had with Lottie that morning but knew that it was none of his business, and since he intended to talk to Lottie tomorrow, he’d just wait and ask her. He hopped into his truck and drove to animal control to see if his furry buddy was still there.
The human chimney was outside smoking—as usual.
“Hey, is the border collie still here?”
“Oh yeah, she’s still in there. I think she’s waiting for ya. I swear every time I go back there, she lifts her head with hope glimmering in those eyes but huffs and puts her head back down when she sees me. ‘Ain’t I good enough?’ I say to her every time, but she just huffs again.”
“Okay, if I go back?”
“Sure, it is, darlin’. Maybe you can get her to eat something again. Lord knows she needs some meat on them bones. She looks like a skeleton, and I don’t want people to think I ain’t treatin’ these dogs right. I love my animals. Every single one of them.”
“I know you do.” Grant pressed his lips into a smile as he walked passed her. He knew her heart was in the right place, but she definitely wasn’t doing the best she could for the animals. Their cages were always too full of shit for her to be on top of things. Maybe if she spent a little less time smoking and a little more time c
leaning, more people would want to come into the animal control to look at the dogs. He shook his head to try to shake the judgmental thoughts free.
He pushed through the door marked DOG and, as the human chimney said, the Border collie raised her head. Only she didn’t huff and lower it again. Grant could swear a smile spread across the dog’s lips as she slowly rose and approached the fence as he neared.
“Hey, girl,” he said as he put his fingers through the chain link and rubbed her snout. He reached over with his other hand and scooted her dish over, scooping a few morsels from the bowl. “You wanna try to eat a few of these?” He put a few pieces in his hand. The dog gently took them and chewed.
Grant sat there feeding her until the bowl was empty.
“You wanna help pick the ticks off her?” the human chimney asked as soon as she came into the room. She stretched out her hand to give him a plastic container and a pair of tweezers.
“Sure.” Grant took the items.
“You can take her into the yard. Probably be able to see them better there, but make sure you put them all in the plastic container and don’t let ‘em drop into the yard.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Grant opened the gate and looped a lead around the dog’s neck, but she wouldn’t come out. He scooped her up with one arm while balancing the container and tweezers in his other hand. “Mind opening the door?” Grant asked as he carried the dog toward the outside yard.
“Got it.” The chimney held the door open. “Happy pickins.” She closed the door behind them.
So much for the idea of helping to pick them off. It looked like the job was now his alone.
A little nervous about how the dog would react, Grant started removing the ticks furthest from her mouth. If the dog was going to snap, he wanted as much time to react as possible. But the dog never did a thing. She just lay there and let him pull tick after tick off her. She winced every now and then, especially when he got the ones that were deep inside her ear.
“Poor girl.” He rubbed her belly. “But I think we got them all. You should feel much better now.” He didn’t want to let his hopes get up about adopting her, but it was happening anyway. How could such an emaciated dog, covered with so many ticks, belong to anyone? He was sure she’d be his after the stray hold was up, and he was sure the human chimney wouldn’t adopt her out to anyone else first. He had it in his mind to ask her to let him take her before the stray hold was up, if anyone had any claim to her, it should certainly be void since she was clearly neglected. She seemed to have a soft spot for animals and didn’t seem exactly strict with the rules or the dog’s shit would have been cleaned up the moment she saw it needed it. He shook his head. He was judging her again. It was hard for him to want to leave the dog there any longer than he had to. Clearly, he was already attached, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
“I’ll be right back, girl,” he said before he got up and made his way into the front office. The human chimney was outside smoking. Grant popped his head out the door. “Is there a brush I can use?”
“Oh, sure, darlin. There’s one in the groomin’ room behind the office. Just go on through and find it.”
“Thanks.”
She waved her hand and hacked a “you’re welcome” before taking another long puff on her cigarette. Grant made his way through the office and into the grooming “room.” Closet was more like it. The tub looked like it could use a thorough cleaning. He wasn’t sure how anyone could feel clean after being inside it, but he figured the dogs didn’t care, and at least it did seem that she was making and attempt to keep them bathed.
He sat back down on the ground next to the Border collie, who laid her head in his lap. He brushed her while talking about Tiffany and Lottie until his phone chirped, indicating that he needed to get home to get ready for his break-up date with Tiffany. He scooped the dog up off the ground when it was clear that she wasn’t going to walk on the leash and placed her back in her cage. He cleaned out a few piles of poop that had collected in the corner, emptied her water dish, and filled it up with fresh water.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said to the dog before he left. On his way through the office, he stopped to talk to the human chimney. “I’d really like to adopt her. I know I can’t until the stray hold is up…” Grant paused and watched for any sign she might say waiting wasn’t necessary after all, but that didn’t happen. “Is there any way that you cannot put her up for adoption before I can get her?”
“Oh, sure, darlin. I’ll just keep the status marked as stray hold until you come get her. But I can’t wait too long. Just a day or two. I don’t want to ruin her chances if you change your mind and another family shows up.”
“I understand.” Grant smiled. “See you tomorrow!”
“See ya, darlin.”
He sailed out the door, feeling calmer after talking his problems out while he improved the life of the sweet dog. She had to be feeling so much better without those parasites in her life, and he would be feeling better once he shook free Tiffany. True, he still dreaded hurting her, but she was young, and he knew she would move on and find someone else quickly. It wasn’t fair of him to be wasting her time anyway. Even if Lottie wasn’t going to move into the picture, he’d just be using Tiffany for sex anyway. And he didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Now he knew he wanted something more.
Grant drove home and made his way inside. Kicking off his shoes, he met Nana coming out of the kitchen. “Hey, Nana. Door was unlocked again.”
She waved him off. “You stink like smoke again.”
“I’ll shower. I’ve gotta get ready to go meet Tiffany anyway.”
Nana frowned.
Grant pursed his lips. “I’ve got to do this.”
“I know, honey,” Nana said before she went back into the kitchen and put the teapot on the burner.
Grant grabbed his robe from the bedroom and hopped in the shower, feeling both excited and nervous about ending things with Tiffany. He decided that staying with her when he didn’t feel much for her was him being a bad guy, not him being honest with her and setting her free.
After his shower, he scooped up his smoky clothes from the bathroom floor and tossed them into the washing machine. He did his hair and put on some clothes he thought would be suitable for a break up—nothing he didn’t mind losing if they ended up covered in the cranberry juice of a woo woo.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lottie
Lottie walked out of Dan Cooley’s office feeling supported and holding new appreciation for the boss that she and Beth had so frequently made fun of
“I’m so sorry, Lottie,” he told her. “Of course you can take off tomorrow, and I’ll help Beth clean up your room. But one thing I won’t do is hire someone else until you’ve had time to think it over and are certain you won’t be returning to us. It’s easy to fill teaching positions, but it won’t be easy to get over replacing you if we could have kept you.”
“Thanks, Dan.” She walked around the desk and gave him a hug before heading to her classroom. As she did, she tried to paint the best fake smile she could across her face. It was field day, after all, and the kids had been so excited about it all month. At least the different events and parents’ helpers chatting with her might help get her mind off things.
She hadn’t called her parents back yet to let them know she was coming home, and she wasn’t quite sure what their reactions would be. It was hard enough to tell them that she and David had separated. She felt like a failure, especially given the fact that they were never that fond of David to begin with and she’d always put so much effort into defending him. Now she’d have to admit that they were right about him all along. There’s another element to being a woman who has been cheated on—shame. Every time someone asked what happened to her marriage, she felt complete and utter shame. Shame at not being enough. Not pretty enough, fun enough, smart enough, adventurous enough, or anything else you can think of—enough. She felt damaged and unworthy. Add to that the way s
he’d messed things up with Grant and she felt like an utter fool.
The day passed by in a haze of clapping and hugging children who won one event or another. When the end came, she swiftly made her retreat with Beth, turning off the lights and locking the door behind her without giving it a second look. Maybe she’d return but what for? Beth wouldn’t be here forever, and without being a squadron spouse, she’d never meet incoming spouses. Her life would be empty and alone in the town where she had been left behind by so many.
Beth drove her to the notary where Lottie signed her divorce papers and then mailed them off. Shrugging when it was all over, Lottie hopped back in the Jeep and stared at the town as it whizzed by on the way home.
A fresh start was what she needed. Maybe she and Pickles would begin again in Michigan, or maybe she’d try to reinvent herself in some destination of her choosing, not one she was following someone else to. She could be the star in her own show rather than play a supporting role in someone else’s movie.
Lottie hugged Beth, who promised she’d be over as soon as she changed out of her work clothes to help her pack. She padded into the bedroom and promptly told Pickles to get off her bed, again.
“You know Mommy doesn’t like you farting near my pillow.” She shooed him out of the bedroom and let him outside.
I guess I should make sure I’ve cleaned up all the dog’s shit in the backyard before I leave.
Lottie scratched her head as she watched Pickles make his rounds in the yard to pee on everything he could find. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to leave tonight or in the morning. Beth was already trying to talk her into staying one more night and having a sleepover. Lottie suspected Beth might just want more time to talk her into staying. Part of her wanted to stay, but it’s hard to scuttle around a town without a shred of hope for a future. Altus was a ghost town for her now. Places only seemed to exist to remind her of her failures and faux pas. Did she want to go on being haunted by pitiful memories?
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