“No. Not perfect. I don’t want to go on some reality show.”
“It’s not a reality show. It’s very professional. It would give you a huge head start to promote your book.”
“I’m not sure, Amanda…” I frown. “I’m not good in front of cameras.”
“Look at it as a test run.” She smiles. “I just sent the application through to your email to review. I filled it in already.”
“Wait—”
“Jen, do you want this book to be a success?”
I huff. “Obviously.”
“You have the talent. You have the recipes. We just need to give you the profile.” She picks up her tablet and starts ticking things off her list. This book is progressing at lightning-speed. I can hardly keep up with recipe development as she puts everything together.
I watch her sort through a few recipes, double-checking them against my notes and nodding in satisfaction. Even with the thought of being on TV making me want to wet myself, I can already feel my resolve weakening. Amanda’s damn good at her job, and even with the whole Fallon thing, I trust her. Maybe she’s right. Maybe any publicity is good publicity.
Maybe a baking competition would be…fun. I’ve never won anything in my life! What if I won?
I clear my throat. “So, this competition…is there a prize?”
Amanda lifts her head from her tablet and gives me a beaming smile. “There sure is. A hundred thousand dollars to put toward your own business.”
I grip the edge of the table. “And the prize…I’d get to keep it?” Visions of a beautiful little bakery attached to the Four Cups Café flash through my mind. I could make custom cakes. I could expand. I could hire an apprentice baker.
Amanda grins at me. “See, this is the thing I love about you, Jen.” When I frown, she puts her tablet down and reaches over to squeeze my arm. “You are so brilliantly confident in your abilities. I mention a competition, and there’s not even a question in your mind that you can win it. Now, I just need you to take that confidence and put it into promoting your book.”
I frown. “That’s different.”
“It isn’t, but we’ll work on that.” Amanda winks, and I let out a little snort.
Yeah, I like her. I said it, okay? I like Fallon’s ex-girlfriend, even if I can tell she’s pining after him. Even if the fact that she still has feelings for him makes it so that I can never get between them. Isn’t it better to be pursuing a lifelong dream?
A hundred grand…that could change my life.
For a few brief moments, I just enjoy myself. A few years ago, I was working in an office for a tech company, dreaming of doing something different. After quitting my job and studying to be a pastry chef, I ended up landing a job at a prestigious Michelin-starred restaurant a couple of towns over. It was great experience, but it was grueling. My boss was a decorated French chef who took no bullshit. I learned a lot, but I was glad to strike out on my own with Four Cups.
Now, I could build something even bigger.
I could never have imagined being here, in the town I love, developing recipes that will soon be shared with (hopefully) thousands of people. Maybe tens of thousands. Maybe millions.
“What’s this?” Amanda asks.
I look over my shoulder to see her by the fridge, peering inside at the plastic-wrapped cakes I’ve prepared. “Oh, that’s the trial run for Fiona and Grant’s wedding cake.”
Amanda straightens up, eyes wide. “You’re making a wedding cake?”
I nod, returning to the dishes I’d been stacking to put through our industrial dishwasher. “Yeah. They want two flavors, so I’m trying to find a frosting that will work for both.”
“Jen.” Amanda sounds exasperated, so I glance at her again.
“Yeah?”
“You never once mentioned you were making a wedding cake. You made the chocolate layer cake, but you didn’t mention this.”
Frowning, I stop what I’m doing. “Okay…” I tilt my head. “Was I supposed to?”
She laughs. “Yes! Yes, you were supposed to. Cakes are a chapter in your book, remember? A tiered cake recipe would be a great inclusion. See? This is what I mean about promoting yourself. You need to talk about these things. Normal people don’t just whip up practice cakes for their friends’ weddings!”
Amanda beams at me and starts talking about photo styling for a wedding cake. She starts telling me we could do a whole series of social media posts, that I could teach people basic cake decorating and refer back to my book. She’s brimming with excitement…for me.
And that’s when I know I was right to push Fallon away. We kissed once. So what?
So what if Amanda is Fallon’s ex-girlfriend?
So what if she seems to bat her eyelashes a bit more when he’s around?
So what if he invited her to town before he ever showed any interest in me?
Isn’t this book more important than some guy who kissed me a single time in a moment of weakness? Shouldn’t I be finally, finally pursuing something I want?
But just as the thought enters my mind, the back door opens and Fallon enters. He’d stepped out when Amanda arrived ten minutes ago, saying something about needing a break. Now he glances at the two of us, eyes lingering on mine for a moment, and gives us a silent nod.
Then he’s back at the stove, glancing at the screen as an order for breakfast comes through, and he gets to work prepping some eggs Benedict with the ease of someone who’s done it a thousand times.
And even though I only just told myself that I don’t care about him, that he isn’t what’s important to me…damn it, but my heart does skip a beat whenever he’s close.
His presence shouldn’t affect me the way it does. That ship has sailed. I made my choice.
Since then, things have changed. We’ve barely talked, but not in the comfortable, silent way that we used to not talk. Our silence is charged, heavy. He’s angry with me. Angry at my cowardice, at my decision not to pursue whatever fleeting thing existed between us.
I steal a glance at Amanda to see her cheeks flushed. She straightens her top and lets her gaze stay on Fallon, and my heart sinks. She walks over to him and leans a hip against the counter, saying soft words I can’t hear over the sounds of the kitchen. Her cheeks are flushed, and her hand brushes the top of her shirt in a flirty, sensual movement. Then Fallon says something and she laughs too long and too hard, touching his arm with her hand.
I’m not imagining it. She’s still hung up on him.
And that means I need to stay out of their way. No matter how much Fallon swears up and down he doesn’t want to be with her, it doesn’t matter—because she’s the one who can make this book a reality. And if I give in to this attraction to Fallon, I risk losing it all.
I’ve spent many years on my own. I’ve lived without a man my entire life, barring three brief years with a boyfriend during college. I’ve always thought I was better off that way. Haven’t I always been independent?
But this feels like I’m giving something up that I didn’t even know I wanted.
Needing to leave the kitchen, if only for a moment, I make my way to the front of house to check the display cabinet stock once again. I arrive in time to see Trina entering with a man I don’t recognize, who holds the door open for her with a hopeful, flirty smile.
Jesus. Another one. That woman has men trailing after her like lost puppies in need of a good feed. I wonder if she even knows the effect she has on them? From the way she’s walking to the counter without paying the man any mind, it doesn’t seem like she realizes he even exists.
24
Trina
I need to get out of here. This dad—what was his name again?—is flirting with me nonstop. He drove ahead of me and made sure to wait by the door so he could hold it open. It’s sweet, obviously, but I’m just not interested in him. I’m still reeling from seeing Mac dressed like a second grade teacher and not a badass biker babe.
I scan the coffee shop when we enter, looking for my s
ister, slightly relieved when I don’t see her. That means I’ll have an excuse to escape. When I get to the counter, I smile at Fiona. “Hey. Have you seen Candice?”
“She’s upstairs with Simone,” Fiona answers. “The usual?” She nods to the coffee machine.
I nod. “Thanks.”
When I reach for my purse, the dad cuts in. “I got it,” he says with a grin. “We parents need to stick together.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” I protest, but he’s already got his card out and is thrusting it at Fiona.
She arches an eyebrow at me, but thankfully says nothing.
Mac’s face when I agreed to come to Four Cups with this guy was nothing short of thunderous, but what was I supposed to do? Not come see my sister? Make some excuse that sounded fake? Linger awkwardly just out of sight until I saw him leave?
Actually—yeah, I probably should have done that.
Sven hands me my usual Americano, his eyes darting to the man beside me as well. No doubt everyone will be questioning me about this little appearance within the hour. Desperate to change the subject, I nod to his fresh pink shirt with the glittery Heart’s Cove Hottie writing across the chest. “New shirt? This one doesn’t have the sleeves ripped off.”
“Fiona told me I needed to be professional,” he answers.
“Oh please,” Fiona quips. “I know how to pick my battles.”
Sven just laughs, which gives me the opportunity to turn to…Rick! His name is Rick. Thank goodness. “Rick, it was lovely to meet you, but I really do need to go speak to my sister. She’s expecting me.”
“Oh, of course. Look, I was hoping I could call—”
“Thank you so much for the coffee. Got to run. Bye!”
I make my escape, feeling foolish and panicked and rude. But honestly, the last thing I need right now is some single dad from my child’s class asking me out to more coffee dates. I can just imagine Mac’s reaction.
Wait—no. I don’t care about Mac’s reaction. Mac is my daughter’s teacher. I shiver. Just the thought of it feels wrong, wrong, wrong.
Coffee sloshing out of its takeaway cup, I make my way to the bright-red door beside the café and climb the steps to the library above. Wes, Simone’s husband, refurbished the space as a gift to her. It’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard. I was in town for their wedding recently, and it was the first time I had actual fun since my separation from Kevin.
Needless to say, the library above the café is a special space. When I push the interior door open, I find Simone tapping away on her laptop near the window and Candice at another desk, frowning at the screen in front of her. She looks up when I enter, relief washing over her. “Thank goodness. If I have to look at this spreadsheet for one more minute, I might explode. I am not a bookkeeper. I don’t know how you did this for Kevin for years, Trina. I’m going cross-eyed.”
Simone snorts. “I told you to leave it for Jen or Fiona. Play to your strengths, Candice.”
My sister lets out a sigh, then nods at me. “What’s up? You look weird.”
I look down at my outfit, frowning. I thought I looked cute this morning. I only agonized over my look for over an hour. There’s not exactly a handbook for the appropriate outfit to go see your daughter’s teacher who happens to be sex on legs who also happens to be the man you had dirty sex with the day before.
“I don’t mean your clothes, Trina. I mean your face. Specifically, the expression on it.” Candice takes a step toward me. “What’s wrong?”
Welp. Here goes nothing. “Mac is Katie’s teacher.”
Simone stops typing and swivels her head toward me. Candice’s face is frozen.
I wipe my sweating palms on my robin’s-egg-blue-colored linen pants, then spread my arms wide. “I kind of, maybe, sort of…hooked up with him on Saturday.”
The rest of Simone’s body swivels to face me. Candice’s eyes widen a fraction.
I clear my throat. “And maybe also slept with him yesterday too.”
Silence answers back.
Now my hands are wringing together in front of my body. I cringe, glancing at Simone. “Say something.”
Without hesitating, Simone answers, “How was it?”
I drop my hands to my sides. “That’s what you want to know?”
Simone’s lips twitch. “Well…yeah?”
Candice clears her throat. “Can we go back to the part about Mac Blair being a school teacher? How did we not know this? Did you not ask each other about work?”
“Are you blaming me for this?” My voice comes out screechy, and Candice throws her hands up.
“No. No, of course not. I’m just wondering. Did you never ask him what he does for work?”
Helpless, I shrug. “It never came up.”
“They were too busy fucking like rabbits,” Simone cuts in.
I give her an exasperated glare.
She just grins. “What are you going to do?” Simone leans her elbow on her desk, brows arching high.
“What can I do?” I ask. “I have to break up with him.”
“What?” It’s Candice’s turn to shriek. “Why?”
“Did you miss the part about him being Katie’s teacher?” I cross my arms.
“Okay.” Simone stands up and heads for the kitchenette. “Let’s think about this for a second.” She takes a can of diet soda out of the mini fridge and cracks it open, turning around to lean against the counter. “He’s teaching Katie, right?”
I nod.
“And does the school have a policy against teachers dating parents?”
“Well…” I frown. “Probably. I don’t know, but…” I look at Candice for support. “It just feels wrong…right?”
Candice cringes. “It kinda does, Simone.”
Simone takes a sip of her drink and lets out a sigh. “I know. But he’s just so damn hot, you know? And I saw how he looked at you when he was in the café the other day, and how he was ready to rip your asshole ex’s head off for speaking to you like that. I just… I just want that for you.”
Glancing out the window, I let out a long breath. “I want that for me too.”
“Can you just wait until the school year is over?” Candice asks, hopeful. “You can tell him that you’re into him, but you’re not comfortable dating him while he’s teaching Katie?”
I chew my lip, then let it slide out from between my teeth when I think of Mac’s eyes darkening whenever I bite my lip in his presence. “I guess so. But I mean, would he even want to wait that long?”
“What, a few months?” Simone snorts. “That’ll go by in a flash. I’ve been in town three years and it feels like I just arrived last week.”
I rub my forehead with my fingers, then square my shoulders. “Okay. I’ll talk to him tonight. I’ll tell him I’m not comfortable dating him while he’s teaching Katie, but I’m willing to see if there’s still a spark after the school year is over.”
“I’m sorry, Trina. I can tell you really like him.” Candice walks over to me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “If he really likes you, he’ll understand.”
I try to force a smile, but I can’t help but wonder if Mac does actually like me. What if he was just looking for a hookup? What if he doesn’t actually like me enough to wait for me? What if that woman was right, and I was just the new mom he wanted to flirt with? What if I ask him to wait, and it comes off as desperate?
Because that’s how I feel right now. Desperate. I feel starved for affection. I feel like my marriage drained me so dry, I need someone to treat me right just so I’ll make it through another day.
“What if he’s just a rebound?” I find myself saying. “Maybe this is for the best.”
Candice and Simone exchange a glance. Simone moves closer, her soda forgotten on the counter. “I mean, maybe, but we all saw how he looked at you. Remember that night at the Grove? Just looking at the two of you made me blush.”
“Yeah,” I answer, but I’m not convinced.
That nigh
t at the Grove feels like it happened in another universe. I was a different person. I wasn’t a single mother that night—I was someone who goes out with girlfriends and doesn’t have a care in the world. For a few hours, I was unburdened, and that’s just not the reality of my life right now.
The door opens, and Fiona bursts through. She holds the doorjamb and looks at me with wide eyes. “Okay, who was that? And where do you find these guys? I mean, seriously, Trina, you have a gift for collecting hot men.”
My sister frowns at me. “Wait, what? There’s another one?”
I groan. “He’s just a dad from Katie’s class. He kind of, maybe…sort of…asked me out in front of Mac this morning.”
There’s a beat of silence, then Simone bursts out laughing. “Girl, you’re a mess. A walking disaster.”
I groan and fall into one of the sofas. “Don’t remind me.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Simone says, taking a seat beside me. “You’re a hot mess. I wish I was as put-together and glamorous as you when my whole life is falling apart. But”—she whistles—“you’re not making it easy on yourself.”
I slouch down, throwing an arm over my face. But my lips twitch, and pretty soon, I find myself laughing.
Yeah, I’m a disaster. But even so, I’m happier than I’ve been in years. My kids took to their new school like ducks to water this morning. Kevin’s snide comments aren’t being hurled at me daily. Sure, I may be living with my mother, but I’m in a new town with more friends and support than I’ve had since I was in school myself.
Do I really want to ruin that by dating my daughter’s teacher? Do I really want to invite more drama and heartbreak into my life?
I like the guy, but what if there’s nothing there? What if he’s a rebound, and what we had was a shallow attraction?
I slump down on the sofa, pretty sure that what I should do is the exact opposite of what I want to do—and what I should do is say goodbye to my romance with Mac. Focus on myself. Focus on my kids.
Move on.
25
Mac
Dirty Little Midlife Disaster: A Motorcycle Hottie Romantic Comedy (Heart’s Cove Hotties Book 4) Page 17