by Marilyn Kaye
He was already seated in a booth when she arrived. Seeing him, for a moment her heartbeat quickened as the memories flooded back. Cheering him as he made a touchdown on the football field. Kissing in the back row of the movie theatre. Prom night, getting to second base …
He looked up and their eyes met. She strode forward and came to the booth.
‘Hey, Johnny.’
‘Hey,’ he replied, but his eyes seemed focused over her head.
The waitress appeared, slapped two plastic-coated menus on the table and left.
Johnny looked down at the one in front of him. ‘What’s good here?’
‘Johnny!’ she exclaimed.
He looked up. ‘What?’
‘Look, you just turn up, out of the blue, and you’re wondering what to eat? Don’t you think you might tell me why you’re here first?’
He had the courtesy to look a little abashed. ‘I guess I just feel kind of weird. It’s been a while. And I’ve never been in New York before. I can’t stay long — I’ve got orientation at Tech in a couple of days.’
‘Johnny,’ she said patiently, ‘why are you here?’
‘I’ve come to get you back,’ he said simply.
She smiled. ‘My parents sent you.’
‘They’re pretty upset,’ he said. ‘About you deciding to stay in New York.’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ she told him, ‘but they’ll come around.’
The waitress reappeared. ‘You folks ready to order?’
‘Can we just have a couple of Cokes for now?’ Sherry asked.
After she left, Johnny’s eyes roamed the room for a few seconds before he spoke again. ‘That’s not the only reason I’m here,’ he blurted out. ‘I made a big mistake, Sherry. I was really stupid. I never should have broken up with you.’
She struggled to come up with an appropriate response. ‘Well, these things happen. People change.’
He took a deep breath. ‘I still love you, Sherry.’
It was odd, she thought. Suddenly she couldn’t remember him ever actually saying those words before. Maybe he never had.
But now that he’d got them out, he kept on talking. ‘We need to be together. I mean, we were all set, remember? I’d go to Tech, you’d go to Agnes Scott. As soon as I pledged a frat, I’d give you a lavaliere. We’d get pinned junior year, and then we’d get engaged after we graduate.’ His voice went up on the last word of each sentence, almost as if he was posing them as questions, trying to find out if she remembered.
‘I guess you like city living now, right?’ he went on. ‘So we could live in Atlanta after we’re married. I’ll get a job, we can start a family …’ His voice trailed off. He was waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t think of anything to say.
The waitress plunked the sodas on to the table. They each took their time, removing the straws from their wrappers, putting the tubes into the glasses, taking a long drink.
‘So, what do you say?’ Johnny asked. ‘Will you come home?’
She shook her head.
He scowled. ‘Look, I said I’m sorry. Can’t you forgive and forget?’
‘It’s not that, Johnny.’
He stared at her. ‘Oh, wait, I get it. You’ve met someone else.’
She shook her head again. ‘It’s not that either.’
‘Then what?’ His eyes widened, as if the unthinkable had just occurred to him. ‘You don’t care about me any more?’
She didn’t want to hurt him, and she spoke carefully. ‘I’m just not sure what I want any more. I thought I knew, but now I’m thinking there might be something else …’
He stared at her in complete and utter bewilderment. He didn’t get it, and she wasn’t sure she did either.
His voice hardened. ‘I’m not going to beg.’
‘I’m not asking you to.’ She reached across the table. ‘We can still be friends.’
Almost involuntarily he drew back, and she knew why. Boys and girls couldn’t just be friends. Not after they’d been something else. That was one of the rules.
He finished his Coke and pushed the glass aside.
‘Do you want to eat something?’ she asked.
He shook his head.
‘I should go,’ she murmured. ‘I’ve got a lot of work to do.’
He shrugged.
She went into her purse, took out some money and put it on the table. ‘Goodbye, Johnny.’
Back out on the street she started walking rapidly, almost as if she was running away. But that wasn’t how she felt. She couldn’t even begin to identify the emotions that filled her at that moment. A little bit of sadness, a little relief… she was frightened and excited and confused. All she knew for certain was that she had just made a choice. When she wasn’t even sure there were choices to be made.
But she was aware of an extraordinary lightness in her step as she sailed down Madison Avenue on her way back to work.