by Julie Miller
She slipped her toes between his ankles, draping herself more fully against his side. “I’m such a mess.”
He stroked his fingers through her hair with his free hand, lightly massaging her neck and back. “No, you’re not. I’m afraid I’ve aggravated everything you’re dealing with.”
“But I’m dealing with it,” she emphasized. “I might be online with my counselor every day this week as all these emotions surface again, but I’m not hiding from it anymore. Thank you for that.”
“For giving you nightmares?”
She chuckled against his skin, and the brush of her lips felt like a kiss. “For waking me up. I don’t mean tonight, although I appreciate that, too. Figuratively. You forced me to change the status quo. I realize I’ve been hiding away, not because of how others see me. But because of how I saw myself.” Although their hands were still linked, she freed her index finger to trace gentle circles on his chest. Her touch left a trail of goose bumps in its wake and stoked a lambent desire deep inside him. “I thought of myself as a victim for two years, so that’s how others treat me. But you don’t.”
“The people around here have known you since you were a kid. They watched you grow up. They’ve seen the changes in you. People aren’t always sure how to deal with it.” Luke turned his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “I only know the woman who greeted me with a shotgun and then saved my life. She’s pretty tough. Pretty resourceful. Doesn’t give up. I know the woman in your books. She’s talented. Speaks an important message about purpose and loyalty, never giving up hope, and fighting to do the right thing. I know the woman in my arms right now. She’s beautiful. Tempting. Caring. I can’t associate any of that with you being a victim.”
“Absolutely the best compliments ever.” This time, there was no mistaking the kiss she pressed beside the stitches on his shoulder. Then she rose up on her elbow beside him, her hair falling around him like a sable waterfall. “Thank you.”
Luke raised his head to meet her halfway as she bent over to kiss him. Her lips were soft and pliant as they sampled each other with a leisurely thoroughness. Then her tongue swept across his lips and snuck inside to deepen the kiss. Luke was more than happy to oblige. He palmed the back of her head and took over. The other hand reached for her bottom and pulled her more fully on top of him. Her breasts pillowed against his chest and her hands roamed across his skin, stoking the fire she kindled inside him. There was no hiding how much he wanted her as her thigh slipped between his.
But when a cold nose butted his shoulder, then sniffed into Ava’s hair, she laughed against his mouth and ended the kiss. Although parts of his body demanded they continue, the other, more important parts were thrilled that Ava settled back against his side with a heavy sigh.
“Better?” Ava nodded. “Do you want me to leave?”
She was still hugging him with her arms and body. “I want you to stay. Is that okay?”
“I’m very okay with that.” Several minutes passed with them simply holding each other, and the fire inside him eased to a less urgent level. He caught her hand and stilled it when she started tracing those mindless circles across his chest again. “Do you need to talk about it?”
Her answer was a quick no. “Not my first nightmare. I’m guessing it won’t be my last.”
Luke was beginning to wonder if she’d let him hold her for a couple more hours of sleep, or if she’d ask him to leave so that she could completely relax. Until she said the words, however, he wasn’t going anywhere. Holding Ava like this was a gift. Her touch felt as much a part of him as each and every memory he was slowly regaining. Her trust felt like he’d finally come home to the place where he belonged. But if all she needed from him was a few pushes out of her comfort zone and some tactile therapy, he wasn’t going to ask for anything more.
Ignoring his body’s demands for another kiss, Luke reached over Ava’s back to stroke the dog, who had settled on the other side of her again. “Maxie’s the real champion. She sounded the alarm.”
“She’s a natural. I got her to be a guard dog, but she’s adapted these natural protective behaviors. She’s the best thing ever to bring me out of an episode.” Ava’s fingers stopped their circles, and he felt her gaze snap up to the bottom of his chin. “Is that a turnoff? That I have a third party in bed with us?”
Luke was still petting Maxie. “You know I’m no stranger to PTSD. Dogs can be trained to do any number of things with repetitive practice and us understanding what a meaningful reward is to them. I’m guessing this one is all about the affection?”
Gradually, Ava relaxed again, as he accepted the Queen Mother of the Dragons on their team. “She won’t turn her nose up at a treat, trust me. But yeah, she’s a sucker for a belly rub or a scratch beneath her chin. Have you worked with dogs before?”
“Oh, yeah. Used them all the time with MP work. Can’t beat a canine nose or ears when it comes to finding trouble or alerting to danger. Or comfort.” Memories of a black-and-tan Belgian Malinois ran through his mind. “My last K-9 partner was Axel. When I got promoted to a desk job, he was transferred to a new handler. But when it came time to retire him, I got him back as a pet for a couple of years. I miss that boy. Smartest dog I ever knew. Buried his ashes on the base where we served together after he passed.”
“What base is that?”
“Fort Leonard Wood.” They both stopped their petting at his automatic reply. Ava pushed herself to a sitting position and Luke met her knowing gaze. “I served at Fort Leonard Wood. That’s where I ended my career. Earlier this year.”
“That’s in Missouri, right?”
“Yeah. It’s an Army base. But different branches of the service and even civilians do police training there.” Luke sat up beside her. The memories were flooding in now, all as clear as if they’d just happened. So much for relaxing and helping Ava fall back to sleep. He was breathing hard with excitement. Sitting still was no longer an option. He climbed out of bed and paced the room. “My buddy Joe Soldati works there. He took my place when I left. Are all my memories finally coming back?”
“Don’t push it. Let’s think about this one memory.” Maxie woofed as Ava crawled to the edge of the bed and stood. “Is Soldati the friend you called before all this started?”
“I think so.”
She picked up her cell phone from the bedside table and held it out to Luke. “Call him.”
“It’s four in the morning.”
“Our time. It’s 5 a.m. in Missouri, and you military guys like to rise early. Besides, if you called him three days ago with what you uncovered, and haven’t checked in since then, he’s worried about you. I would be.”
He was a veteran Marine who had survived a car crash, dived off a cliff and taken a bullet. Why was he afraid to make this phone call?
Ava pushed the phone into his hand. “Call him. I’ll be right here with you.” She grinned. “In case you forget anything.”
The tension in him broke and he laughed out loud as he took the phone. “Wiseacre.”
Since he couldn’t recall a phone number, he called the information operator instead. “I need a number for Fort Leonard Wood Army base near Waynesville, Missouri.” After she dialed a general office on the base for him, Luke identified himself. “Captain Luke Broughton, USMC, Retired.” He rattled off his serial number as if he was still active duty. “Captain Joe Soldati, military police. I know it’s early, but does he happen to be on base?”
The corporal manning the communication center wrote down Ava’s phone number and took Luke’s message. Thirty minutes later, a plan was in place and the backup Luke needed was on its way to Wyoming. Joe had given him plenty of grief about waking him from a good night’s sleep, but not as much grief as he’d given Luke for missing the flight he’d promised to be on Saturday morning. Apparently, Luke had given his friend an abridged version of what he’d uncovered, and arranged a ren
dezvous to turn over the evidence he had on BDS.
“When you didn’t get off that plane, I thought the worst,” Joe confessed. “If what you say is true, you’re damn lucky to be alive.”
Luke looked across the room to Ava, who was settling Maxie into her bed with a rawhide chew and eavesdropping on every word. “I couldn’t have done it on my own. You’ll take care of things from your end?”
“I’ve got all the phone calls made. All I need is my star witness to come out of hiding and debrief my superiors and the JAG office.”
“I’ll owe you one, buddy.”
“Damn straight you will.” Joe Soldati had served under Luke for several years before getting the promotion. He knew the guy was a lot of guff and wiseassery, but as solid and dependable as they came. “This is at least a three-beer and an introduce-me-to-your-sister favor, Broughton.”
“I don’t have a sister.”
“Then I’ll settle for the beer.”
“You’re on.”
Then Joe got back to business. “My go bag is packed. I’ll contact the JAG office while I’m in the air to see if they want to get the feds involved at this point. My contacts at the Wyoming state police have been waiting for a follow-up call from me. I’ll get on the horn with them. The cavalry’s coming. Keep your head down until we get there.”
“Roger that.” Ava crawled back into the bed and patted the mattress beside her, telling him he was welcome to rejoin her when the conversation ended. Every cell in Luke’s body leaped at the invitation. “And Joe? You know those Bonecrusher Chronicles books you got me into?”
“Yeah?”
“The woman I told you about who’s been helping me?” Ava’s momentary frown was probably her worrying that he was going to give away her secret identity. She had to know him better than that by now. “She reminds me of Willow Storm.”
Joe laughed. “Lucky dog. See you in a few hours.”
After disconnecting the call, Luke set the phone beside her laptop and crawled onto the bed to sit beside her. Although he knew they wouldn’t be completely safe until Joe and his team arrived, criminals were identified and arrests were made, Luke felt his guard dropping, knowing the authorities were on their way to give him and Ava true sanctuary. He felt like they’d done this a hundred times when he draped his arm around her shoulders and she snuggled against his side; it felt so natural.
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Once again, you’ve helped me find the truth. Ever think about a career in law enforcement? You’d make a hell of an interrogator.”
“I’ve already got a pretty good gig.”
“Writing books?”
“Being with you.” Her fingers were doing that lazy circle thing on his skin again. This time farther down the flat of his stomach, sending tiny electric pulses straight down to his groin. “Do male readers really think Willow is hot?”
“Oh, yeah.” His voice came out as a throaty growl.
Her fingers stopped their magic spell and she sat up on her knees to face him. “Luke, I want to try... I want...you.”
“Ava, I don’t deserve—”
“Don’t you go all noble on me now. Larkin Bonecrusher is a rogue. And I know... I mean, earlier at the cave, and a while ago when we kissed... I could feel... I think you want me, too.”
He glanced down at the tightness pushing against his zipper. “I’m not hiding the fact I do.” He cupped her face between his hands, reading the certainty in her eyes. “Are you sure? You don’t owe me anything.”
“No.” She smiled. “You owe me.”
Well, hell’s bells. He could add seductress to the list of things this woman did well. “Luke Broughton reporting for duty.”
He pulled her into his lap and covered her mouth with his. When he pushed his tongue between her lips, she opened for him, welcoming his claim. While he feasted on her mouth, her hands mimicked his, framing his face, sliding into his hair, learning all the places that liked to be touched. She tore her lips from his, clamping her teeth gently on the point of his chin, eliciting a feral growl.
“Whatever you want, Ava,” he promised. “However you want it.” He blazed his own trail down the side of her neck, paying special attention to the bundle of nerves at the base of her throat that made her squirm each time he teased it with his beard or soothed it with his tongue.
“I can’t guarantee how good—”
“Don’t go there.” He lifted his head to press a hard kiss to her swollen lips before pulling back and settling his hands at the relatively neutral position at her waist. “We’re in this together, remember? If there’s anything you don’t like—if you need to stop, I will. Scaring you in any way would be worse than not being with you.”
Although he was breathing hard from the things this woman did to him, Luke held himself as still as humanly possible.
But his warrior princess was having none of that. She grasped his wrists and pulled his hands around to cup her bottom. “But I’m brave.” She leaned in and kissed him.
“You are.” He squeezed her bottom, holding her close as she came in for another kiss.
“I’m tough.” Their lips got intimately acquainted while she unsnapped his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper.
Luke groaned into her mouth. “The toughest.”
“I’m tempting.” Her eyes locked onto his as she slid her hand inside his pants.
He hissed at the way his body jumped to her touch. “Yes.”
Luke couldn’t hold back anymore. If she asked him to stop or give her space, he would. But until she gave any hint of panic setting in, he was going after what he wanted so desperately. He tugged the T-shirt over Ava’s head and snapped her to him, needing the feel of skin to skin. He claimed her mouth with a deep, drugging kiss, hinting at his intent, assuring her of his desire. He licked and nipped and kissed his way down to that bundle of nerves and lower still until he sucked the pebbled tip of one pretty breast into his mouth.
One moment she was arching into him with a breathy moan, the next she was sitting back, covering herself with her hands. “Should we turn the light off?”
Luke eased himself up to a sitting position beside her. This was the hesitation he’d been worried about, the changing of her mind that he would respect. “I thought you’d be more comfortable with it on.”
“But you’ll see all my scars.”
Luke bit down on his cry of relief. This wasn’t about stopping. This was about reassurance, and the healing they seemed to give each other. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Ava’s mouth opened in a startled O, then quickly closed. “It’s not a competition.”
“Wanna bet?” He gingerly shucked off his jeans and tossed them to the floor. He pointed to the wound on his shoulder. “Bullet hole, obviously.” Then he tapped the stitches on his knee. “Split this open on a rock.” He pulled down the waistband of his shorts and brushed his fingers over his hip. “Bomb fragments. Hip surgery.”
She was laughing by the time he got to the three dots on the back of his hand he’d gotten holding a sparkler one Fourth of July as a boy. “Enough. You’re a stunning man. I watched you yesterday morning while you were sleeping.” Her cheeks turned rosy with an embarrassed blush. “I guess I’m a bit of a voyeur.”
“So, you can treat me like a piece of meat, but I can’t enjoy ogling you?” Luke traced his finger along the mark on her chest. He leaned in and brushed the gentlest of kisses against her injured cheek. “I know the scars are here. I know everything they symbolize. But I don’t see them when I look at you. I see you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Sweetheart, I’m a man. At the moment, I only have one thing on my mind.” He feathered his fingers into her glorious hair. “Are you sure?”
“I have only one thing on my mind, too,” she confessed. She dropped her hands, baring herself to
him.
Luke thanked her for her trust by pulling her into his lap and loving her mouth with his. Then he rolled her onto her back and kissed her all the way down to the line of her shorts before removing them. He kissed her between her legs, and she bucked against his mouth. “Luke...”
He reached for his jeans to retrieve a condom and swore. “No billfold. You?”
She pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking as bereft as he felt. “No boyfriend.” Then her face lit up and she scrambled off the bed. “Wait. Don’t move.”
She tugged the sheet around her naked body and ran downstairs.
“Ava?” He hurried after her in his briefs to find her digging through the bottom drawer of her desk, tossing out letters and printouts. “What are you doing? We can finish like that. I’m fine. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She held up an envelope in a weird sort of victory dance before grabbing his hand and leading him back up the stairs. She lost the sheet somewhere between the door and the bed as she pushed him onto the edge of the mattress and tore open the envelope.
“What’s that?”
“A fan letter.” She pulled out a familiar, sealed foil package. “Someone sent me a condom, saying maybe if I got laid, I’d be able to write that love scene for Larkin and Willow.”
His blood simmered at the audacity of some stranger thinking he had the right to overstep the lines of privacy. “You mean someone got that personal with you? Some idiot accused you of not being sexy?”
“Shh.” She pressed her finger to his lips and climbed onto his lap. “They were talking to A. L. Baines, not to me. Right now, I’m just glad to have this.”
He had to admit that he was, too. Her hands shook as she tried to roll it onto him. Luke took over and sheathed himself before falling back onto the bed and pulling her on top of him. “However it happens. Whatever happens. You and me—we’ve got this. We’re a team, remember?”
She brushed her fingers over his lips. “I will never forget.”