“You are so classy.”
“With a K.” She laughed. So did Evan. “You okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Bullshit. What’s up?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“I’m your sister and, despite us always trying to out-bitch the other, I love you. It’s not over until Walsh closes out the file. Since he doesn’t do paperwork, that’s going to fall on me. Does you being miserable have anything to do with the fact you were caught on camera in a very longing look with your boss?”
That look was the highlight of the night. The rest of what happened had everything to do with why he was now so miserable he wanted to crawl back to bed and never come out. “Meg?”
“Yes?”
“I want out.”
“What?” The shock in her voice resounded through the car. Hell, it shocked him, too. He didn’t know he wanted out until he’d said the words out loud. “Look, you’re just coming out of your first mission. It’s still raw. You’re required to take six weeks off after every find. Take the time to decide if this is what you really want. You just got in.”
“If it is?”
She remained silent for several freeway exits. “I’ll do the paperwork myself, which would suck. I wanted you in TREX with me.”
“You have all our cousins in TREX with you.”
“It’s not the same, and you know it. Please think about this.”
“It’s not fair having to spy on the ones you love. That’s why I want out.”
“Then we put you on someone you don’t even know,” she countered, pleading. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
“I promise.” This call would never end if didn’t at least give her that.
“Thank you.” She ended the call.
Evan pulled into his spot and locked up, shoved his keys in his pocket, and headed out for his coffee.
“Evan.” Chester greeted him with a wide grin. “Haven’t seen you in a couple days. Was worried the rumors were true. What’ll you have?”
“Drip today. What rumors?”
“That Kelley’s is moving.” He poured the coffee and snapped on a lid.
Evan paid and dropped a nice tip into the jar. “Don’t you mean closing?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. A bunch of guys in suits came through this morning, all wanting coffee. Since I was the only one open, they cleaned me out for the first hour. I couldn’t serve no one else.”
“Guys in suits, you say?” He redirected Chester’s attention.
“Yep. I heard them talking about Kelley’s moving to a new location. Somewhere called Pacific something.”
Evan almost dropped his coffee. “Pacific Place?”
Chester snapped his fingers. “Yeah, that’s it.”
Holy shit. He did it. Clint actually did it. “I gotta go.”
“Wait.” He thrust a paper into Evan’s hands. “On the house. Your boy is all over this one.”
“Thanks, Chester. I’ll get you next time.” He rushed off, taking the elevator to the fourth floor so not to spill his coffee and to give him a chance to glance at the story. It’d be the last time he’d read this paper. And, since he didn’t pay for it, technically he wasn’t breaking his vow.
He read the headline—Playboy Billionaire Gay! Caught with Male Lover!—and rolled his eyes. They never felt it necessary to clarify when someone straight was caught with a lover.
The elevator doors opened to a frenzy of activity everywhere. Evan stepped out and glanced around. Who were all these men racing around with clipboards. He dodged several near collisions as he weaved his way to his counter, shocked to find Patsy already here.
“Good morning?”
“It sure is.” She had her chin in her hand, elbow on the counter, as she watched the show. “Look at all this eye candy.”
He mimicked her position and enjoyed the show along with her. “Why is there so much eye candy in the store before opening?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I don’t care. Candy texted me and told me to get my ass down here. I’ll come in early every day if it means I get to come in to this.”
Evan had to admit, it was a nice view first thing in the morning. Still, he’d rather have the view of Seattle thirty-seven stories up. He’d rather have his coffee on the terrace with the man he loved. He’d rather kiss him good-bye before they both left for work. It was all so normal.
But, as he’d tried to convince Clint, what they had wasn’t normal.
And it was over.
They spent the next several minutes pointing out which ones were gay, which were straight, and which could go either way. Only after they opened and the distractions had disappeared did Evan go back to pouting over losing the love of his life.
“I still can’t believe he wouldn’t finally come out.” Evan had given him the perfect opening.
“Well, you did choose a pretty shitty time to publicly declare your love,” Patsy pointed out and flipped through the tabloid as they stood at the personal shopper’s counter. “Have you talked to him?”
“No. I went straight home and stayed in bed for two days.”
“That explains you canceling brunch. Again.” She turned the page. “I figured you needed your space, so I left you alone. Besides, Joshua kept me pretty busy all weekend. If you wouldn’t have showed up today, I would have hunted you down.”
“You are all heart.”
“You are my heart.” She pinched his cheek. “You know I’m only kidding. I have that find-a-friend app. I knew you were in your apartment, probably drowning your sorrows in mint chocolate chip ice cream and Pretty Woman on repeat.”
“I’m not that lame,” he defended. When she looked at him, he broke. “It was cookie dough, not mint chocolate chip. You know green ice cream freaks me out.” It took him a second for the rest of her statement to register. “You stalked me using an app?”
“Only to make sure you weren’t going to jump off the Freemont Bridge.” She flipped another page.
He grabbed the box he’d brought out from the back and continued to place his personal belongings in it. First, moving out of Kelley’s. Next, moving out of Clint’s. Kelley’s had been his home for ten years. Clint’s penthouse had been his home for ten days. He didn’t know which one hurt more.
That was a lie. Despite his time here, he’d move on. He’d find a new job. He’d never find another Clint.
“Do you really think that’s necessary?” Patsy pointed at the box in his hands. “He hasn’t fired us, yet.”
“He will.”
“Ugh, I hate it when you get like this. Mr. Doom and Gloom, table for one.” She returned to the paper. “At least he’s out. Can’t say proud just yet, but one out of two ain’t bad.”
“Stop trying to cheer me up.” Evan sighed and glanced at the paper. When he spotted a photo of Clint grinning as he held Patsy close, he had to look away. He clenched his jaw to keep his emotions in check.
“I look good. I think I’ll keep this one. You don’t mind, do you?”
Evan shook his head and waved at the paper. “You can have the whole thing.”
“Don’t you even want to read the story?”
“I was there and so were you. We are the story.”
“You know, for a smart guy you really are thick.”
Evan glared at her.
“Seriously, you got a guy who is obviously head over heels about you, and here you sit wallowing in your own self-induced misery. You saw the way he tried to get to you. It’s not like he kicked you to the curb. Right now, you two need each other. You think you’re hurting? Think how much he’s hurting. You did this to him, not the other way around. Clint did nothing wrong.”
“Are you seriously defending him?”
“You bet your gay ass, I am. He loves you, Evan. Don’t let what his dick uncle did come between you. He’s hurting as much as you are right now.”
Evan dropped his glare and glanced at the next photo, the one wher
e Clint and Evan held each other in that deep gaze. His heart spasmed.
Maybe they should at least talk about this.
“Do you really think he’s hurting?”
“Why not ask him? He’s right behind you.”
Evan whipped around and sucked in a breath to see Clint standing there staring at him. “Clint.”
“Evan, we need to talk.”
Nothing good ever came from a conversation that started with those words. “Yes, sir.”
His gaze darkened, if only for a moment. He quickly recovered. “Can we step into the private fitting room?”
Evan nodded and followed Clint to the room, his heart in his throat. He used his key to open the door and closed it after they’d both entered.
Clint turned to him, his dark eyes swirling with a pain Evan definitely related to.
“Clint, I—”
“Why, Evan?” he cut him off. “You know how I felt about coming out.”
“You said you wanted to.”
“I wanted to. Me!” He slammed his fist into his chest. “You took that from me. You took the only thing I had any control over.”
“That’s not true.”
“The hell it’s not.”
“That’s not true!” He tightened his hands into fists. “Me, Clint. You have control over me.”
He closed his eyes. “I wish that were true.”
“It is.”
“No.” He laughed hollowly. “If that were, you wouldn’t have done what you did. I don’t have any more control over you than I did that first day we met. I don’t know if I ever will.”
Evan stilled, dropping his hands to his side. Everything grew quiet as the walls closed in. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t see how we get past this.”
“Together, Clint. We get past this together.” Please God, no. Don’t leave me.
He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.
Evan took it, immediately recognizing it as a check. Oh God, no. His worst fear was coming true. He was about to be written off. “What’s this for?”
“Payment. I’m terminating our contract, effective immediately.”
“No.” His throat closed as his eyes burned, blurred. He swallowed over and over, forcing his breathing through his nose. “Please don’t do this.”
“Likewise, your services at Kelley’s will no longer be required.”
“I can’t believe you’re firing me.” His chin trembled as he started to shake, his world crumbling around him. “Even from the store.”
“Please don’t cry.”
“After everything I gave up for you.”
“Evan, don’t make this any harder than it already is.” His voice wavered, and he cleared his throat. “When I told you I’d take care of you, I meant it. That check is enough to sustain you until you get back on your feet. If you need more, that can be arranged.”
He blinked, sending tears down his cheeks and clearing his vision. His pain melted to anger. He held up the check. “You call this taking care of me? This isn’t taking care of anything but your conscience.” He tore the check into several pieces and threw it in Clint’s face. “That’s what I think of the way you plan to take care of me.”
“I’ll just write another one.”
“I don’t care how many you write. I told you before. I don’t want your money.”
“I’ll deposit it directly into your account.”
“I don’t want your money!” Evan pushed him. Hard. It was like pushing a brick wall.
“Evan, let’s not do this.”
“You no longer get to order me around.” He pushed Clint again, his anger fueling his actions.
“Stop.”
Evan had no intention of stopping. He lifted his hand and brought it back. As he swung, slapping Clint across the face, he bared his teeth. He lifted his hand again, but Clint grasped his wrist. When he tried to swing the other, Clint grabbed that one, too.
“Stop.”
“I hate you.” A sob tore through him. “I h-h-hate …” He couldn’t get another word out past the lump in his throat.
Clint pulled him into his arms. “You don’t hate me.”
“How could you do this? How could you walk away from us?”
“I have no choice.”
Evan pushed out of his embrace and angrily wiped at his eyes. “What the hell kind of chicken shit answer is that? You don’t have a choice? Bullshit. You have a choice. You have all the control, Clint. You have all the power. You always have.”
“I don’t have any power when it comes to you.” The dark swirl in that troubled gaze stopped Evan’s heart. “I never have.”
“Is that what this is about?” Evan reached for him when Clint placed his back to him. “You’ve never lost control with anyone before.”
“That’s right.” He turned, nailing Evan with a stony expression. It didn’t fool him. Fear shined in his eyes. Clint was terrified. “You took that control from me. Without my permission. I want it back.”
“I want us,” he countered and struggled to keep more emotions from flooding out. “I want to find a way to make this all go away. I want breakfast on the terrace. I want card games in the tub. I want our normal back.”
Clint closed his eyes and dropped his chin, remaining silent for too many painful seconds. When he finally spoke, Evan had to strain to hear him over the pounding in his ears. “I don’t.”
Evan gasped and caught himself before he started sobbing again. That was it. The final nail in the coffin of their relationship. He refused to beg. Clint had made his choice. Evan had to respect that.
To hell with it. He wasn’t above begging. “Please don’t run away.”
“I’m not running away.”
“I call bullshit again. Your tail is firmly between your legs.”
Clint’s mouth fell open. “Are you calling me a coward?”
“Yes.” Jesus, he was certifiable pushing a man his size. Literally.
“I’m no coward.”
“Then prove it. Stand up to me. You say I took your control. I dare you to take it back.” He spun on his heel and headed toward the door.
“You say you want our normal back.” Clint stopped him with his hand on Evan’s shoulder. They searched each other’s eyes. “I don’t want our normal. Our normal so far has sucked. Sure, we’ve had some moments, but overall, it’s kind of sucked. I want a new normal. A better normal. I want a normal where you don’t freak out after every session in the playroom. I want a normal where I’m not terrified you’ll be gone when I wake up. I want a normal where we can go out, hold hands in public, maybe even get married one day. That’s the normal I want.”
“I want a normal where I can bring my husband breakfast in bed.”
“I want a normal where I can tie my husband to the bed,” Clint countered, a wicked glimmer darkening his gaze.
“I think both can be arranged.” They stood there staring at each other, neither blinking. Did they just make up? Was Evan too hopeful in his thinking? “Now what?”
Clint shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never gone back on a termination.”
“I’ve never begged to stay in a contract.”
“I guess we’re both in uncharted territory.”
Evan licked his lip before sucking it between his teeth and biting down.
Clint groaned and stared at his lips. “Come here.”
Evan stepped into Clint’s arms, holding him so tight he was pretty sure he heard a few ribs pop. Even then, Clint held him just as tight and kissed the top of his forehead. “I’m sorry for being such a coward.”
“You should be.”
“Hey. I’m apologizing, here.”
He laughed and buried his face into Clint’s chest. “So am I. I’m sorry for doing that to you.”
“I’m sorry for doing that to you,” he repeated back. It fit. “I didn’t want to write that check. I don’t want to terminate our contract. It’s the only thing I kn
ow to do when I lose control over my sub.”
“When I lose control over my Dom,” Evan fired back, looking into his eyes. “I tend to get physical.”
“You’re telling me.” He wiggled his jaw. “It may have been a slap, but it packed a punch.”
Evan dropped his smile as he held Clint’s gaze. “You hurt me. By giving up so easily. By running away. By how quick you discarded me. You hurt me, Clint.”
“I know.”
“Don’t do it again.”
He nodded and rested their foreheads together, cupping Evan’s cheeks. For the first time since before the auction, peace settled between them. Evan held Clint’s wrists and slid his lids closed as he sighed contently.
Clint ran his thumb under Evan’s eye. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know how to act. Shit, I can barely breathe here.”
“You’re not the only one.”
“Why does everyone say love is such an amazing thing when it feels like it’s kicking my ass from the inside out?”
“I wish I knew the answer.”
They spent a few more minutes in blissful peace before a knock on the door returned them to reality. “Evan? Are you in there?”
He rolled his eyes. “Go away, Patsy.”
“There’s someone here to see you.”
“I’m with someone.” And he planned to spend the rest of his life with him.
“Evan? Open this door before I bust it open.”
Shit. Megan! What the hell was his sister doing at the store?
Clint stiffened. “Who is that?”
“No one,” Evan answered quickly. “Go away.”
“When has that order ever worked on me?”
Never. “I’ll be right back.” He went to the door and threw it open to yell at his sister and her bad timing. “What the hell—”
“You cannot leave me alone to deal with this shit show by myself. Do you know what Walsh just told me to do? He told me to go ahead and file the paperwork to let you out of your agreement to work with TREX. Did you tell him to make that call? I told you that you didn’t have to spy on anyone else…you…know…” she faded out as her eyes widened, her gaze fixated behind him. “Holy shit. Of course you’re here right now.”
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