by Lauren Dawes
I sucked in a breath and let it go. “I don’t want to get involved with you because you’re a supernatural,” I told him with a wince. Just putting it out there made me feel like a complete bitch.
He leaned against the counter, folding his deliciously muscled arms. “Why?”
“Because I’m terrified that if I fall any farther into this world, then I’m going to lose my humanity, too.” I wrapped my arms around my middle and ducked my chin. I couldn’t look Sawyer in the face right now. I couldn’t see how my words hurt him. “I’m afraid that I’ve already gone too far, and if I’m your consort, that means I’m deeper into this world than I thought.”
Sawyer was quiet—too quiet for my liking—and I sneaked a quick glance. His expression was shuttered, and I had no idea what he was thinking. Eventually, he said, “Would that be such a bad thing?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Because Smith says so? He’s been spitting the same sort of shit for weeks now. Is that what you really think, that you’re less human because you work with supernaturals, that you live with one?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Smith’s jibes were all the thoughts I had deep down. Maybe it was residual beliefs from my parents’ secret life. Or maybe I had to woman up and realize it was more to do with my own personal insecurities.
“I think you’re scared to give love to someone else because every time you do, they disappear,” Sawyer said, and I jerked my head up to stare at him.
“What?”
“You’re using this as an excuse for not addressing the real problem. You’re terrified of giving something of yourself to someone for fear of them disappearing from your life.”
I bit my lip then shook my head. “No.”
“No? Tell me, Cat, have I ever abandoned you? Taken something from you and not given something back? Have I ever not been there for you?”
He’d always been there, and I told him as much.
“So, why can’t you trust me with your heart, too?”
“I—” I paused when Mason knocked on the door.
Sawyer went back to making coffee, putting our conversation on pause.
Shaken and in need of a distraction, I opened the door. “Hey, Mason,” I said with far more cheer than I thought I could muster. “Merry belated Christmas.”
Mason stepped into the apartment carrying a gift wrapped in unicorn paper. Dressed in a flannel shirt and a pair of designer jeans, his hair was tied loosely at the back of his head. He handed the gift to me with a shy smile.
“Merry Christmas. I know we’ve only been on one date technically, but I saw this while I was passing a store on the way home from work the other day. It reminded me of you.”
“Hey, Mason, want some coffee?” Sawyer asked in a strangely chipper voice. I flashed him a quizzical look, which he ignored.
“Please. That would be great. Thanks.” Then, to me, he said, “Please, open it.”
I walked to the couch and sat, my dress pooling at my feet.
“I tried to call you yesterday, but it went straight to voicemail,” he told me, settling in beside me, his gaze darting down to my dress.
“Oh, yeah, my phone died.” I looked down at the gift, feeling something soft inside. “And Sawyer and I were working a case last night, and we got in late. Didn’t get a chance to change.”
He nodded, then gestured to the parcel in my hand. “Please, open it.”
With a bob of my head, I peeled the tape off one side and peered under the wrapping paper. When I was sure it was something that wouldn’t bite—because I’m sure the supernatural world would throw that one at me soon enough—I pulled out the fleecy material and unfolded it. It was a hooded sweater in bubblegum pink with a design of a unicorn standing in front of a rainbow on it.
“Wow, thanks so much, Mason,” I said, staring at the image, running my fingertips over the curve of the rainbow. “It’s great, but I haven’t got you anything,” I added sheepishly.
“No problem. Like I said, we’ve only been on one date, and I just saw this in passing. Anyway, I have so much to catch you up on…”
Sawyer walked into the living room with two mugs of coffee. He placed one down in front of me and the other in front of Mason. I watched as his gaze darted to the sweater, then to my face. His expression was utterly unreadable.
But I knew what he was feeling. He was hurting. I saw it in the way his gaze lingered on my face. Was I throwing the chance at a relationship with Sawyer away because I was being a stubborn idiot? I hadn’t lied when I’d told him that him being a supernatural was one of the reasons I couldn’t date him, but it wasn’t the biggest issue. The biggest issue was the one he so tactfully brought up—I was afraid of giving my heart to someone.
From the age of ten, my mother was gone. Then my father may as well have been dead for all the times I saw him. Mrs. Brown had stepped into the parenting role, but by the time my father had died, I was already at college, and Mrs. Brown wasn’t needed either. Sawyer was right. I did have abandonment issues, and I was just using my fear of the supernatural world as a cover for that.
From day one, Sawyer never rejected me. He was there, leading me through things even when I was scared shitless. Even when I thought I couldn’t do it. He’d never judged me either—he just accepted me for me. I knew I was quirky. I mean, what kind of grown woman had a thing for unicorns?
Reaching forward, I took a sip of my coffee, then looked at the mug Sawyer had put it in. It was my new favorite since most of my collection had been destroyed in the destruction of my building. On the front was ‘I don’t believe in humans,’ written in a rainbow color scheme and with a little fat unicorn beside it.
I blinked when I felt tears sitting in my eyes.
“Mason?” I asked, interrupted whatever story he was telling me.
He pushed his glasses up his face, looking at me expectantly. “Yes?”
“Thank you for the present. It’s great, really, but I don’t think I can do this.”
He frowned. “Do what?”
“Date you. I just don’t think I’m ready for that.”
Mason’s gaze darted quickly to Sawyer, looking for advice on how to proceed, no doubt. “You don’t want to… date me?”
“I’m sorry, but no.”
With a sharp bob of his head, he placed his coffee cup back down and slid to the edge of the couch. All the happiness that had lit up his body was now gone, and I felt terrible for being responsible for that.
“I respect your decision,” he said, shoving his glasses up his nose once more. “And I’m really glad I met you.”
“You, too,” I mumbled.
He walked to the door, and I scrambled off the couch to walk him the rest of the way.
He turned to face me, his expression tight. With anger? With sadness? I didn’t know him well enough to read that. “It was fun while it lasted.”
“If fun includes attempts on my life while on our first date, then yeah, it was fun.”
“I’d like to include me making you dinner as our second and final date, too,” he replied. “That was a fun night.”
My body heated when I thought back to when Sawyer had dragged me into his bedroom to chew me out for inviting Mason to the house—an ass-chewing which had turned into a hot-as-fuck pseudo dry-humping session.
“Yeah, it was.” I opened the apartment door for him, giving him what I hoped was a warm smile. “Thank you again for the present.”
“Of course.” He leaned in and brushed his lips to my cheek—a chaste kiss for our goodbye. I was glad he didn’t try and go for my mouth. With Sawyer standing and watching only a few feet away, it would’ve ended in a brawl, and I had a very good idea who the victor would be. “Be happy, Cat.”
“You, too, Mason.”
With one final nod, he turned and started down the hallway. I let out a breath and shut the door, then turned to face Sawyer.
He had his arms folded across his chest, his eyes narrowed to slits. “You got rid of him,
” he said softly, but I heard the edge of his control fraying a little.
“Yes.”
“Why?” He stepped toward me but kept his arms locked around his chest.
I stared up into Sawyer’s gray eyes, inhaled his whisky and chocolate scent, felt the heat from his body and knew. I’d made the right choice. “Because I want to see what happens between you and me. I was scared, I’ll be the first to admit it. Scared of being abandoned after you were done with me, but you’ll never be done with me if I’m your consort. I don’t care if you’re an incubus. You haven’t been influencing me. Every time we’ve come together… no pun intended,” I added with a wink. He chuckled and let his arms hang by his side. “Every time we’ve come together, it’s because I’ve wanted it. I could’ve said no at any point, and you would’ve respected my decision.” I glanced down at my feet, then back to him. “I’m willing to try even though our working relationship and friendship are at risk. I’m willing to try because I think you’re worth it.”
A grin started to spread slowly across his face. “You think I’m worth it?” he needled in a teasing tone.
I rolled my eyes. “I know you are, okay? And don’t get a big head about it. Just know that I value our friendship over whatever this relationship evolves into. And if it all falls apart—”
“It won’t,” he pressed.
I waved him off. “If it does, promise me we’ll go back to being friends. We’ll go back to what we have now before feelings and jealousy and fucking life messes everything up.”
“I promise you that, Cat.” Taking my hand, he held it to his chest. Underneath his smooth tux shirt, I felt that powerful organ pounding against my fingertips. “I swear it to you now.”
I bit my lip then nodded. “Okay, then I’m all in, but we need to figure out whether we keep this on the down-low at work and around the team.”
“I think for your sake we should. I don’t give a demon rat’s ass about what people think of our relationship, but I know Smith would have a field day if he found out.”
“I fucking hate that guy,” I muttered.
Sawyer wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me against his chest. I went willingly because who wouldn’t want to be held by a smoking hot guy.
My smoking hot guy.
“Can we get matching Christmas sweaters?” I asked suddenly, peering up into his gorgeous face. “Really ugly ones. You know, the kind you want to burn afterward or use to make a sacrifice to the Devil.”
He arched a brow. “It’s not Christmas anymore.”
I snorted. “Not for everyone else, but we missed it. Therefore, I think we should celebrate it tonight. We’ll put up the tree, decorate it, have a turkey dinner…” Sawyer’s smile had disappeared from his face. “What? What is it?”
“I’m sorry we never got a chance to put up the tree.”
“Murder attempts on my life will do that,” I shot back with a casual shrug.
We spent the rest of the day choosing a live tree—because a fake one at Christmas simply doesn’t count—and decorating it. Sawyer had some really old Christmas decorations in his collection, just like the angel I was cradling carefully in my hands. It was made of blown glass. The figure had its palms together in prayer, a tiny halo adorning her head. Even though it was yellowing with age, it beat any modern reproduction.
“This is beautiful,” I told him, gesturing to the angel. “I mean, a unicorn would’ve been better, but I think this will be okay, too.”
He ran a gentle finger over the face of the angel. “She’s very old. My mother gave it to me sometime around 1870. Would you like to put her on the tree? I can give you a boost,” he added with a smirk.
I looked up at the nearly seven-foot behemoth. “No short joke on Scat Christmas,” I muttered.
He laughed, his eyes dancing with humor. “What is Scat Christmas?”
“Oh, I just made that up. Sawyer plus Cat equals Scat. You know, I’m clever, cute, and creative.”
“You certainly are,” he replied in a deep rumble that seemed to caress me like a hand between my legs. I jabbed a finger at him. “Hey, no sex until we’re done here. We wasted three hours this morning before we could hit the forest to steal this amazing tree.”
He pressed his body to mine, his words warm and soft in my ear when he said, “Three magical hours.”
I shoved him away. “You have a one-track mind.”
“Of course I do. I’m a sex demon.”
I waved away his statement because I couldn’t win this one. “Just give me a boost, so I can put our angel at the top.”
He dropped a kiss to my head and wrapped his arms around my chest. “I like the way that sounds?”
“Boost?”
He snorted. “No. Our. You said our angel.”
A blush crept up my cheeks, then I shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
With a mischievous smile, he banded his arms around my legs and lifted me. I yelped, unprepared for the sudden rise in elevation, wobbled, got my sense of balance back, then placed the angel at the top. “Okay, you can let me down now,” I said a little breathlessly.
After he lowered me to the floor, we stepped back and looked at our beautifully trimmed tree. “It could definitely use more unicorns, but for a tree with only one, I think it’s pretty good.”
“You and your unicorns,” Sawyer grumbled.
I turned to face him. “I don’t want to hear any grumbling about that. You knew when you met me, I had a thing for them.”
“I did, yes. And maybe you could add this to your collection,” he said, leaning over and pulling out a gift bag from behind the couch.
“Where did this come from?”
“I got it out when you were half-buried in the decorations box.”
“Touché,” I muttered. I’d kind of fallen in there and couldn’t get out, but that’s neither here nor there. Taking the bag, I settled onto the couch and practically tore the top of it open because, hello? Who doesn’t love Christmas?
The first thing I saw laying on top of another present was a small box, no bigger than the size of a large Diamond brand match box. I picked it up, lifted it to my ear, and shook. There was a muffled sound inside.
Sawyer was sitting on the floor in front of me, his face serene as he watched me.
I peeled off the wrapping, which was more unicorn print paper, and smiled when I saw what was inside. I held up the box of kids’ unicorn design bandages and cocked my head to the side. “Is this because I’m always getting hurt?”
He nodded, a huge smile on his face. I don’t think I’d ever seen him this relaxed before. “Keep going.”
Placing the box to the side, I opened the next present which was a unicorn wine holder, where the mouth of the bottle went into the mouth of the unicorn. The next gift was a hot pink plush robe with a foil unicorn print in gold. The next, a t-shirt with Deadpool riding a unicorn on a rainbow.
I was giddy with excitement at this point, my happiness bubbling in my blood like champagne. “This is amazing,” I told him.
“It’s not over yet. Keep digging.”
I dove back into the bag, finding a travel cup with a unicorn on the front and the words ‘Glamorous AF’ and finally, at the bottom, a pink unicorn onesie, complete with a gold horn on the top of the hood. Surrounded by all the awesomeness, I grinned at Sawyer.
“Thank you. This is all amazing.”
“You’re amazing.”
“You have to say that because I’m your consort.”
“I have to say that because it’s true. You’re amazing. You’ve come into our world and thrived. You’ve come into my world and turned it upside down.”
“I don’t know about the thriving bit, but the upside down? I am all over that.”
Getting on to his knees, he pushed between my legs and pressed his body to mine. Leaning in, he kissed me softly. “Merry Christmas and thank you.”
I glanced down. “I love all my horned booty… wait, that didn’t come out r
ight.” I shook my head. “Don’t tell me you just bought me all this stuff. I know Amazon Prime is the bomb, but, really?”
Chuckling, he replied, “No, I’ve been slowly buying things for the past few weeks. I know how much you love Christmas.”
“I do love Christmas.” I picked up the onesie. “And this bad-boy is getting worn. Right now.” I stood and stripped out of my leggings and Sawyer’s shirt that I’d changed into after our three-hour-sexfest. He growled when he saw I was wearing a lace bra with a matching set of panties.
“There’s your first present,” I told him with a wink. “But it’s not for now. We can’t get distracted.” I pulled on the onesie, then disappeared into my bedroom. Reaching under my bed, I pulled out Sawyer’s present and hesitated for just a moment. He’d given me such thoughtful gifts, whereas I was kind of giving him a gag present. Well, the rest of his Cat present would come later, but compared to his thoughtfulness, I looked like a cheapskate.
“He’s got to accept me for me,” I said softly with a shrug.
Walking back out into the living room, I found him on the couch looking relaxed. I handed him the box, then sat beside him. He looked between me and the gift I’d just given him.
“Just open it.”
He did, laughing when he saw the picture on the front of the packaging. I’d gotten him a customizable blow-up sex doll complete with teal hair and a saucy wink. I would’ve opted for a smile, but given her mouth was set into a permanent ‘o,’ that was a little hard.
“It’s a Cat doll,” I told him excitedly. “I got it before we were a thing.” I shrugged. “Maybe we can just keep her in the living room. Otherwise, I’ll have to shiv the bitch for watching us fuck.”
“Jesus,” he muttered, then kissed me. “I love it.” He set her to the side then turned to face me. “I much prefer being with the real flesh and blood version, though.”
Grinning, I scooted closer. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he growled. “She feels so much warmer. And softer. She makes amazingly sexy noises when I kiss her here.” He leaned in and nipped me on the side of the neck, making me gasp. “Now, I’ve waited all day, and it’s time to eat.”