by Dante King
The idea made Maddie giggle. “You didn’t even realize your car could talk,” she said, shaking her head. “What are you going to do? Ground it? Besides, it saved my life. It sheltered me from those demons when they attacked—without it, I’d have been ripped to shreds. I’m not mad at your car, Luke—quite the opposite, in fact. I’m thrilled it decided I was worthy to be brought on this crazy, amazing, awesome journey with you. I just didn’t realize you didn’t know that it could do things like that.”
I hadn’t. Clearly, I was going to need to get my car out of the valet the next time I was down in Hell—and have a long chat with it about what it knew. Had Lucifer assigned it to look after me or something like that? It seemed likely, but you’d have thought he’d mention it to me. What if someone else entirely was behind this?
Either way, it didn’t bear worrying about for the moment. Maddie and I were in a whole other realm. I’d have to text Christina and Mareth about it when I got a chance, though, just in case.
“This is all extremely interesting,” Judyth said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Like us, the Headmistress hadn’t dressed appropriately for the cold, and now she was shivering through the scant coverage her wings gave her. “Might we continue this conversation inside?”
“Sure thing,” I said, snapping back to my senses. “Come on, Mads. Let’s get you warmed up.”
“Gladly,” Maddie purred, prompting an irritated look from the Headmistress. “Then... the thing we talked about?”
The foursome? I thought, grinning at Maddie. “Absolutely. I’ll make sure everyone’s ready.”
“I have no idea what you’re babbling about,” Judyth said, striding to the door, “but welcome to the Prudence School. Your most likely home for the next few months, Luke, so make sure you take in everything the place has to offer.”
Chapter 12
With three of the Celestial Schools under my belt, I felt like I was ready for just about anything. Since I’d already seen the ice castle from the outside, I thought I had some idea of what to expect from the interior of the Prudence wing. As we prepared to step inside, I pictured a mixture of Elsa’s castle from Frozen, with a little bit of the ice fortress from Die Another Day for flavor.
I should have realized that time and space were flexible in the Celestial Realm. The interior of the Prudence School didn’t match the outside in the slightest.
Judyth led Maddie and I through the vestibule and into the great hall of a mansion. Three stories loomed above us, with a massive double staircase providing access to each floor. Everything was gilded, dotted with precious stones, and covered in rich tapestries like the palace of a pharaoh or an ancient king. If Genghis Khan had bought the mansion from Resident Evil and gotten really, really over the top with his decorating, he might have come up with something similar to the place where the elite angels honed their craft.
“The first floor is for strategy and war games,” Judyth explained, gesturing at the double-doors leading to the east and west wings of the mansion. “I’ll show you a few of those first, then we’ll head to the second floor, which is where the lecture halls are. You’ll take lessons from some of the greatest generals and teachers from history, gaining the knowledge of centuries in a few short months.”
That sounded good—better than good. Why didn’t Lucifer have a program like that?
“Of course, we’ll have to cut the tour a bit short,” Judyth said quickly, pushing through her statement before Maddie or I could protest. “I have quite a few engagements I’m missing because of my attendance here today, and what I really want to show you is on the third floor.”
Maddie took the bait before I could. “What’s the third floor devoted to?”
A knowing grin spread across Judyth’s face. “Divination,” she explained. “The rarest gift of the Prudence School. If Luke has the ability to divine the future, it makes him a lock for a major here. Considering everything else I’ve seen you do today, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”
“I’d be happy to find out,” I said, glancing up at the third-floor balcony. The great hall of the Prudence School seemed deserted, which shocked the hell out of me, but was that a shadow moving between the curtains up there, staring down at me? I swore I could feel interested eyes moving in the darkness. “You know this School is my first choice, Judyth.”
Our inspection of the first two floors felt cursory. Both the Eastern and Western wings of the Prudence School were filled not with magic but technology—large banks of computers on which scale models of the Earth slowly revolved. Tiny flashes of red and white showed conflict across the continents, which each angelic student studied as intently as a man trying to see which cup the street performer hid his quarter underneath.
“This is our Strategy Room,” Judyth said, prompting several students to glare at her before realizing who she was. This hall felt almost supernaturally quiet, the humming of ethernet cables and machines the only background hum. “Here, angels play through simulations of several potential Earth events. Points are awarded for managing sin and redemption, and generally by leading humanity to a future that involves more light than darkness.”
As I watched, a cherub girl with a sharp spike of black hair sticking through her halo input a series of commands into her console. The entirety of the Eastern Seaboard flashed white, the tide of red that had been swooping over the USA pushed backward all the way to the Mississippi. Apparently, this was a good result—the angel did a fist-pump, and several other students clapped her on the back.
“Is this a likely thing to happen?” I asked, keeping my voice down so as to not interfere in the games. “One angel deciding the fate of the entire world?”
“It’s happened before,” Judyth replied gravely. “But it’s far more likely you’d be serving in a Conclave—a kind of advisory board for heavenly events. Picture them as a ‘think tank’ for the Almighty, crafting bold new strategies to win over sinners and reduce the amount of suffering in the mortal realm.”
I was decidedly neutral on the idea. I didn’t hate video games or anything—I’d played plenty of them back in college. I just liked the idea of getting my hands dirty more than messing around with some simulation. Turning the whole world into a board game didn’t sit right with me—but Maddie devoured it with eager eyes.
“So, don’t tease me,” my angelic girlfriend whispered as we passed a clutch of students making moves to divide up the Asian subcontinent, “but my Dad’s favorite computer game growing up was Civilization.”
I shrugged. “Cool game.”
“The only game he ever played, actually,” Maddie said with a laugh. “I used to take turns sitting on his knee—Catherine the Great was my main ruler. He never really got into the games after the fourth one, but I’ve been playing them my whole life. I buy the DLC and everything.”
I covered my mouth with mock surprise. “Oh no! A gamer?”
Maddie punched me in the shoulder. “All I’m saying is, I think I’d be good at these games. Really good. I recognize some of the mechanics. You think I could take a crack at it?”
“Be my guest,” I said, but Judyth turned around. The Headmistress walked backward as smoothly as she did forward, which gave her movements a disorienting effect.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” the Headmistress purred, proving she’d been listening in on our entire conversation. “I admit, I’d never heard of these games—I would’ve never thought the work we do for our profession might be done by humans for mere recreation! I’ll have to do some research into this. I’d be happy to have your aptitude tested, Maddie.”
My girlfriend beamed. “Awesome. I—”
“As soon as we hand Luke over to the Dean of Divination,” Judyth finished.
Maddie’s shoulders slumped. “Oh,” she said, the wind knocked out of her sails. I didn’t need to be a mind reader to see her thoughts: how come I have to be second fiddle?
Because I’m the spy, I thought ruefully. Not you, babe.
“It’s alright,” I
whispered, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “I want to be there, anyway—cheering you on.”
This perked Maddie right up. “Yeah? Alright, awesome.” She pointed up at the ceiling, her 4X dreams put on hold for the moment. “Let’s go see if my boyfriend can see the future.”
Judyth led us through the East Wing and back to the main hall, then took us up the big double staircase. The whole walk up, I found my thoughts straying to the other time I might have seen the future—that strange vision of me and Lilith, engaged in coital bliss. Had that really been an image of the future? And if so, did that mean I was destined to take the Headmistress of the Infernal Academy, tie to a ceiling, and fuck her in the ass?
I mean, don’t get me wrong—it’d be fun. But Lucifer would kill me.
Maybe I DON’T want to know if I can see the future, I thought as Judyth led Maddie and I down a side hallway. The furnishings in this wing of the Prudence School were simpler, almost like an ordinary college. All except for a door at the end of the hall covered in arcane runes.
Judyth stopped and knocked on the door. I hadn’t seen her knock on a single door the entire time I’d been here. If even the Headmistress of the Celestial Academy had to make sure it was okay to enter this room, there was no telling what dangers might lay inside.
“Eiko?” The Headmistress asked with uncharacteristic poise. “I have two new students who need their introductory Divination exams completed. Are you decent?”
“Decent?” I asked, my head filling with all sorts of ideas.
“Eiko meditates,” Judyth explained, her eyes narrowing a touch. “Sometimes she does it naked.”
A moment later, the sound of footsteps came from the other side of the wall. The arcane symbols retreated as the door swung open, revealing an angel in a flowing black kimono. The same symbols I’d seen on the door were stitched into the fabric of her robes, almost making her blend into the furnishings. Besides her sleeves and the hem of her gown, only her eyes shone in the shadowed darkness of the room.
“Ah, Judyth,” the woman purred, retreating a step. I heard the sound of snapping fingers, and two lanterns on either side of the room blazed to life. “You of all people should know I’m never decent. But you keep me around anyway.”
“How could I possibly replace you,” the Headmistress muttered. “Both of you. Inside.”
We stepped into the room after Judyth. The door slammed shut behind us as if by magic, sealing Maddie and me inside of the divination hall. For once, my expectations matched up with reality—this tower certainly resembled the eccentric furnishings I’d have anticipated from a college of angels dedicated to seeing the future. Bookshelves covered every available square of wall space, so full of volumes of ancient lore you’d have been hard pressed to fit a playing card between them. A miniature alchemist’s lab dominated one side of the circular room, with potions and liquids in glass vials piled up around it.
But it was the woman herself who ruled here who caught and held my interest. Eiko didn’t have the ageless look of the other angels on the Celestial Academy’s faculty at all—she looked like a middle-aged Asian woman, with smooth skin, high cheekbones, and raven-dark hair held together with a pair of engraved chopsticks. Her silky robes swished around her with every step as she backed into the center of the chamber, allowing us to enter.
Then she turned, and I got a bigger shock. Eiko was no ordinary human angel. Four fox tails peeked from a slit in the back of her robes. Two were the same jet-black shade as her hair, while the other two were as white as the snow outside of the ice castle.
“Hello there,” I said, trying my best to keep my eyes on the tail, rather than the shapely ass connected to it. “I’m Luke, and this is Maddie.”
“I know who you are.” Eiko’s smile was subtle to the point of being maddening. I could see her being a major heartbreaker if she put her mind to it. “The Headmistress has told me all about you. You’re the transfer student from the Infernal Academy.”
“Dual Enrollment student,” I corrected, glancing at Judyth to confirm. “I’ll be attending both hallowed institutions.”
Eiko chuckled. “Of course. And Judyth wants you tested for divination skills.” Her gaze shifted from me to Maddie, taking her in with no less interest than she’d shown toward me. “And I’ll see if your girlfriend has the gift as well, of course.”
Maddie let out a little giggle. “How do you know I’m his girlfriend?”
“Please. I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” Eiko gestured at a door leading further into the tower. “Right this way, please.”
I was definitely interested in whatever this woman wanted to show me. Arm in arm with Maddie, I walked through the eccentric chamber, my eyes devouring every cool thing I saw along the way. Excitement thrummed in my veins, and a quick glance at Maddie confirmed she was thinking the same thing that I was. This woman would make one hell of a fun playmate.
Then a bolt of lightning ruined everything.
I was thrown back against Maddie, then both of us slammed into a wall. Books flew everywhere as a portal ripped through the center of the room, filling the space with the scent of ozone. A leg appeared, then an arm—then a massive, flaming sword.
Holofernes.
The angel of vengeance stepped through the portal, the rent rapidly closing behind him. Judyth looked like she was going to be sick. A few feet away, Eiko shielded her face from the worst of the blast but watched impassively, as if the damage to her study bothered her far less than the sudden intrusion intrigued her.
“Headmistress,” the towering angel snapped, turning to Judyth like she was the only one in the room. “You are needed immediately.”
Judyth looked around the room, surveying the damage. “There are several people who need me immediately, Holofernes,” the Headmistress of the Celestial Academy snapped. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now. You could have just knocked, you know that?”
“I would not have come,” the angel said with a grudging tone, “were it not important.”
Judyth sighed and rolled her eyes. “Your definition of important and mine don’t share much common ground, Holofernes. Our definition of manners even less so—”
The angel’s massive stone head turned, taking in the sight of Maddie and me for the first time. For just a moment, I felt that cold, alien gaze tingle along my skin. Maddie shuddered in my arms, pulling herself closer against me in response.
“They require your presence,” Holofernes said in a different tone. It was strange to hear a figure like him try and persuade someone, rather than just smiting them. “It is urgent. You know of what I speak.”
The change in Judyth’s expression was immediate and extreme. She looked like a kid watching the sand castle she’d spent all afternoon building get washed away from the tide.
“Oh no,” the Headmistress said in a little voice. She clasped her forehead in her hand.
“Everything alright?” I asked. I was definitely interested in wherever this conversation was going, but I doubted I’d get anything more out of these two. Holofernes had noticed us before he mentioned whoever ‘they’ were supposed to be—hence why he’d censored himself in our presence. “Maybe we could be of some help—”
“Stay right where you are,” Judyth said, squaring her shoulders. “Fine. Eiko, can you handle this by yourself?”
An amused look lit up the divination teacher’s smooth features. “I’d be glad to,” she purred, sounding every bit as catlike as her tails would imply. Or was it foxlike? I honestly wasn’t sure.
“Good. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Without hesitation, Judyth did something I’d never have expected from her in a million years. She stepped forward and embraced Holofernes, wrapping her arms around the stone angel’s broad shoulders. They didn’t make it all the way—the angel was that massive.
Holofernes lifted his flaming sword. Another portal ripped open around the pair, pulling them out of this realm and bringing them wherever it
was they needed to go. Exactly where that were going was a question that interested me greatly.
“That sounded like a big problem,” I said as the portal closed. The wind sent more papers fluttering as the rent in the air healed, sending the parchment fluttering to earth like an angel’s feathers. “I hope everything’s alright?”
It was a blatant attempt at fishing, and Eiko knew it. “The Headmistress has a good head on her shoulders,” the dark-haired teacher said, chuckling at the pun. “Between her brains and Holofernes’s brawn, they should be able to handle any emergency. If only they could get along when everything wasn’t on fire…”
Eiko gestured for us to follow her. Apparently putting back all the things Holofernes’s portal had broken wasn’t in the cards—not yet, at least. Maybe such a menial activity was beneath a member of the faculty at the Celestial Academy. Perhaps they had their own version of servant imps, little cherubs who came and swept up after the teachers.
It was a funny mental image, but I’d have much rather been picturing my newest instructor naked.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” I said, giving Eiko a once-over as she led me to the booth, “but you’re the first angel I’ve met who’s…”
“Not white?” Eiko seemed more amused than offended by the question. “It’s true, most of our students are Caucangels, so to speak. There’s not a lot of ethnic diversity among the faculty at the Celestial Academy, as most potential students outside of that realm cleave to different traditions…”
“That’s not what I was going to say,” I told her, brushing a lock of her raven-black hair out of her face. Now Eiko stared at me, amazed, the corner of her mouth curled in a moue so devastatingly sexy it took my entire will not to kiss her.
“No?” Eiko asked, wide-eyed.
I shook my head. “I was going to ask about the tails.”
Eiko glanced over her shoulder, gazing at the four tails batting around her ass like she was seeing them for the first time. “Ah yes,” she said, grinning like a fox. “Part of my kitsune heritage. Honestly, you’re braver than most students. They stare, of course, but rarely does someone work up the courage to actually ask about them.”