She couldn’t help appreciating the beauty of the orchard as she walked between the rows of carefully tended trees, the branches above creating a shady tunnel. The lovely pink and white blooms had all unfurled now, reaching for the sun. A sprinkling of fallen petals softened her steps on the path.
Juliet did not know where she should look next, instead allowing her feet to pull her forward. Something told her that she would find him at the right time.
It took her longer than she’d thought, but she finally saw him two rows to her left. He walked very slowly, thoughtfully, his head bent and his hands clasped behind his back. Juliet’s heart did not race like she’d thought it would when she finally found him. Instead it sang at the sight of him, begging her to run to him, throw her arms around him, kiss him with everything she had.
Juliet took a deep breath and doubled back to the nearest crossroads on the path so she could move between the rows of trees. She made no attempt to quiet her approach, her slippers crunching ever so softly on the path in her haste. If Solomon heard anything, he’d either chosen to ignore it or he was too lost in thought to pay it much mind.
Juliet wouldn’t have been surprised if it was the latter. Solomon had never thought of himself as a deep thinker, saving that designation for Henry. Juliet, on the other hand, knew that he could become quite oblivious to his surroundings when something weighed heavily on his mind.
The late afternoon sunlight shimmered down upon Solomon, transforming his hair into a stunning copper color. His shoulders, broad as ever, carried heaviness and tension. His hands, still locked behind his back, were white at the knuckles as if he had something in his grasp he couldn’t bear to let go.
Solomon tilted his head back to look up at the small flowers blooming above them. Juliet took another deep, slow breath, drawing strength from the fragrant air and gentle sun. She must stay calm and professional. She needed to assure Solomon that she would respect his wishes, stay out of his way as much as possible, and not cause him any problems. She must prepare for that very likely possibility.
The corner of Solomon’s mouth lifted in a small smile as he gazed up at the flowers. Juliet’s heart melted at the sweetness in his expression. She yearned for him even more, but she knew that she must first put herself at his mercy. She had done wrong and she had no right to expect that he would forgive her so easily a second time let alone offer his heart to her.
She inhaled once more, closing her eyes for a moment as she gathered her courage. “Solomon…” The name slipped out of Juliet’s mouth naturally, but her eyes still widened in surprise. She’d meant to call him by his proper name, Lord Overton, since she had forfeited the right to call him anything else. But his name sounded so lovely in her voice, felt so right on her lips.
The earl turned slowly to face Juliet. He did not look surprised to see her. “I had a feeling you would find me here,” he said, his voice low not with anger or hurt but with something else—understanding? Trust?
Suddenly all of Juliet’s determination to remain professional and respectful evaporated. Desire took its place. She took a step closer.
“I received word from Mother that you weren’t feeling well,” he announced before Juliet could ask.
Her cheeks flamed with mortification that her employer had come all the way back from London just to check on her health. Juliet knew, more clearly than anything she’d ever known, that she must say what was truly in her heart. She must stop running—from Solomon and from herself.
Juliet took another step forward. “I admit that I have been feeling quite terrible,” she admitted quietly. “And the worst part is that I know it is all my own doing. It was extremely unfair of me to harm you in the process.” At first Juliet tried to keep the trembling out of her voice, but the more she spoke the more she realized that she needed exactly this right now. She needed to open her whole heart to him. Hiding herself was the very thing that had gotten them into this terrible mess both times.
Solomon came closer as well, just one step. He gazed at her with a serious but not unkind expression. Juliet’s heart leapt with a tiny flicker of hope. “Tell me why you pushed me away like this. Have I done something to cause you to doubt me? Did I harm you without realizing it?”
Juliet took a few more steps, desperate to close the gap between them, desperate to reach for Solomon’s hands. She’d broken his heart, and yet he wondered if he was somehow at fault. Even now, he still cared for her.
But Juliet held herself back. Her chin dropped to her chest. She could no longer bear to see the pain in Solomon’s eyes, the pain she’d put there.
Tears flooded her eyes, slowly slipping down her face. “I have been such a fool. Such a terrible, terrible fool. I’ve never wanted to live a meaningless life and I always thought I would be forced to if I married.” She took a shuddering sigh as she finally said those dreaded words. Solomon remained silent, giving Juliet time to gather herself.
“I panicked last time in London because I feared that, by marrying you, I would be confined to a typical Society life, forced to become someone I knew in my heart I could never truly be—someone without purpose,” Juliet continued, her voice cracking as her tears continued to flow. “I wanted to get away from my parents and their constant plotting to marry me off, yes. But I really became a governess so I could make a place for myself in the world and make a difference in someone’s life.
“And I truly felt like I’d found my purpose by teaching Pearl. I adore her so dearly and I love watching her grow and learn. I take pride in knowing that I’ve contributed to that. So when you started talking about me not being able to do that anymore and living a life of social calls and parties and days spent lounging in the drawing room...I panicked again.”
The shame that swept over Juliet nearly overwhelmed her. How could she have been so selfish to put her silly dreams ahead of the man she loved with her whole heart? She was not the only governess in the world. Someone else would easily take her place and do what she did. Why did she feel the need to do it herself? Why did she need to take up a mission in life when everyone else was content to pass the time with dinners and dances and carriage rides? Why would she hurt such a wonderful, kind man who deserved nothing but happiness and love, especially after everything he’d already suffered?
Juliet took another hesitant step. She needed to push forward and get to the heart of it all. She finally forced herself to look him in the eyes. “You must know that I’ve always loved you since the very beginning, but my fear got the better of me. Now I’ve ruined my own chance of happiness and wounded someone who didn’t deserve to be wounded.”
As much as she wanted to look away from that penetrating gaze, to send herself into hiding for the rest of her life, Juliet held her head up and stared back. She was not proud of her actions, but she needed to face them.
Solomon stared at Juliet for several long moments, thoughtful but not angry. Juliet’s stomach flipped back and forth with nerves, her chest tight as if some unseen force wanted to crush her from the inside out.
She longed to take his face in her hands, to smooth away the furrow in his brow, to take away his pain and worry, but she held herself in check. She might very well only make things worse if she pushed too close, too fast. He might still reject her, Juliet reminded herself—and he had every right to do so.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Solomon nodded slowly. He came forward and took Juliet’s hands in his. Her heart thundered at the touch, so unexpected yet so familiar. He did not speak right away, instead staring at their joined hands for a moment. Juliet did not break the silence either. He seemed to need time to process what she’d said and come to his own conclusion. She must allow him that at the very least.
Solomon took a deep breath, his broad chest swelling against his jacket. He lifted his head and looked at Juliet. She could see regret and guilt there within his breathtakingly green eyes.
“I am so terribly sorry,” he said in a pained whisper.
; “You have nothing to be sorry for whatsoever, truly. We’ve been in this awful situation twice entirely because of my own fears and indecision and inability to share my feelings,” Juliet quickly insisted. Since Solomon had left, she had imagined many different scenarios, many things he might say to her, but she had never expected him to apologize.
He gave a sad chuckle and shook his head slightly. “I wish you had come to me all those years ago with your fears, but perhaps we were too new in our relationship for you to feel comfortable doing so. Perhaps the speed with which our feelings intensified frightened you, especially after seeing what happened between Henry and Cecilia.”
Juliet nodded. Solomon had immediately seen to the core of the issue. She found that this did not surprise her at all. She’d always felt like he’d known her for her whole life even when they’d first met. Perhaps even within that very first masked dance. Juliet silently cursed herself for not trusting that someone who knew her with such a perfect, immediate intimacy would have understood her fears or at least worked with her to understand them.
“I must tell you that you are wrong about one thing,” Solomon continued. “I do have my fair share to apologize for—back then especially, but even now. I should have made it abundantly clear that you could feel comfortable sharing everything with me. Not just the positive things like hopes and dreams and humor, but everything, even the scary and bad things. I should have made it clear that I would never judge or dismiss you or be angry with you for having a mind of your own.
“I should have listened better and encouraged you when I sensed that something might be troubling you, not to the point of forcing you to speak before you felt ready, but at least so that you would know that I would be available whenever you wished to talk. I thought I would frustrate you if I asked you too many questions. I said you could be honest with me, but I never said why.”
Solomon looked deeply disappointed in himself, but Juliet saw something to be proud of, something to cherish and be thankful for. All this time, Solomon had just wanted to do what was best for Juliet in the way he knew how. He’d wanted to be there for her. She just hadn’t listened closely enough to his words to understand that he wanted to be there for her through everything. Though he apologized for not making this clearer, Juliet found that she could not truly fault him for that. He’d done his best even if she hadn’t seen it. She would now. Juliet promised to see his best every single day, regardless of what happened next.
This was exactly the kind of love Juliet had always wanted but had thought would be impossible to find—a love where she felt free and could express herself without fear. Solomon had been trying to give her that this whole time.
“I appreciate your apology, but I still do not think you have anything to be sorry for. All of this could have been avoided if I hadn’t been such a fool. I should have been honest in the first place, just like you always asked. But I am certainly glad that you don’t seem to hate me,” Juliet sighed. “Do you?”
Solomon laughed, the sound coming from deep within his chest. “I certainly do not hate you. I never did and I never could.”
A wave of relief washed over Juliet, so powerful that she threw all her caution to the wind. Now was the time to risk everything she had. “Solomon, I’ve always loved you and I always will.” The words came out with absolute confidence. It was the truest thing she’d ever said.
Solomon’s mouth slowly lifted into a surprised, elated smile, but before he could respond, Juliet needed to finish her thoughts. “I’m willing now to give up my life as a governess. I cannot lose you again—if you’ll have me, that is. I’m sure I’ll come around to the idea of being a count—”
Solomon pulled Juliet to him, laying her hands flat against his chest, his hands covering them protectively. He stared down into her face with an intensity Juliet had never seen before.
“I’ve always loved you and always will love you, Juliet,” he whispered, the warmth from his breath brushing against her forehead.
Her heart soared so high she thought it might fly all the way to heaven. In fact, her whole body felt like it would float away had Solomon not been holding her so closely and tightly. She thanked God a thousand times in the span of a few seconds, the phrase echoing in her mind over and over again. Thank God! Solomon loves me!
She tilted her head back, rising on the tips of her toes to kiss him, but Solomon moved his head away. “There is something we must settle first,” he announced.
Juliet knew she should feel nervous that her kiss had been rejected, but somehow she did not. She’d never felt safer or more at ease than she did at this moment with Solomon.
“I know you love me so much that you would be willing to give up your desire to live a meaningful life, Juliet. But I love you so much that I would never ask you to do such a thing. I want all your dreams to come true. Your dreams will become mine to share and accomplish. How does that sound?” Solomon gave a soft smile, his eyes brimming with love, with promise, with everything Juliet wanted in her future.
Juliet’s joy overwhelmed her and she smiled so widely for so long that she thought her face might become stuck in a permanent expression of sheer happiness. She did not mind that thought at all. She knew now that her life would be full of such smiles, all the laughter she could bear, and all the love she wanted and needed.
Tears continued to fall, happy and shocked and utterly amazed. Solomon brushed them away with his thumbs, a soft, sweet tenderness in the gesture. “We’ll figure out some way to make your dreams happen in the very near future, but first I must figure out one more thing,” he whispered, his face now just inches from Juliet’s.
“What might that be?” Juliet tilted her face up, eyes already closing.
“First I need to figure out if you will be my wife. What do you think of that, sweet one?” Solomon smiled, his lips brushing against Juliet’s ever so slightly, his eyes nearly closed as well.
“Hmm, as a matter of fact I think that sounds quite lovely. Yes, I would love to be your wife, Solomon.” She’d barely finished saying his name before he finally pressed his lips to hers, moving them together with an intoxicating mixture of passion, joy, hope, love, and of course that blissful feeling of finally, finally getting everything right.
As they lost themselves in that long awaited kiss, Juliet’s arms around Solomon’s neck and his arms squeezing her against him, they both knew without a shadow of a doubt that nothing would ever pull them apart. This was absolutely perfect. As Solomon broke away from their kiss to plant his soft lips to her forehead, Juliet found that she somehow did not regret all the time she’d lost, their years spent apart aching for each other and dreaming of what could have been.
This was their story. It had had its hills and deep valleys and moments of heartbreak and uncertainty. As Juliet buried her face in Solomon’s neck, she knew deep in her heart that she would not have changed a thing. It had all led them to this incredible moment, their reunion made all the sweeter by the trials they had endured. And Juliet knew now, more clearly than she’d ever known anything, that she and Solomon had nothing to fear in their future—for as long as they had each other, they could overcome anything. They could share their dreams and grow toward them together.
Juliet breathed everything in for a few more moments, not wanting to end this magic yet also wanting to run ahead to their future. “You know, we should go back and let her ladyship know. I’m sure she’s very anxious to hear how it all turned out,” she finally broke the silence. “Oh, and we must thank Pearl as well.”
Without removing his arms from around her waist, Solomon pulled back and peered down into Juliet’s face, a brow arched up in curiosity. “What’s Pearl got to do with this?”
“Believe it or not, we actually have Pearl to thank for everything that’s just happened.” Juliet beamed both with pride at the girl’s warm heart, her ability to see someone else’s pain and step forward to help, and immense gratitude.
As she explained Pearl’s role to Sol
omon, his expression grew more stunned, first his eyes going wide and then his mouth falling open. Juliet giggled as she gently placed her fingers under his chin, pushing his jaw back up.
“Good Heaven! I knew Pearl was an amazing child and I knew she had a heart of gold, but I never would have expected something like this. She knows us better than we know ourselves,” Solomon mumbled, still processing his shock.
“That’s exactly what I thought as soon as your mother told me.” Juliet stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers, hoping to revive him a bit.
As she gazed into his beautiful eyes, Juliet saw so much of herself mirrored in Solomon. They complemented each other so well yet she knew they would still be able to challenge each other. Solomon had given her the greatest challenge of all—overcoming her fears while maintaining her principles—and she had passed—with his help, of course. But she, too, had challenged Solomon, enabling him to soften his heart to the love he so very much deserved.
A thrill suddenly ran down Juliet’s spine. What challenges and adventures would they face in the future? Whatever they were, exciting or difficult, Juliet would face them with courage and determination beside the man she loved so dearly.
“I can’t thank you enough for being such a wonderful influence on Pearl. You’ve taught her so much more than just lessons from books. You’ve taught her lessons of the heart, too.” Solomon took Juliet’s chin in his fingers, tilting her face up. “Pearl will be so lucky to have you as her aunt.”
“It would be a great honor for me, to be her aunt and your wife,” Juliet whispered.
“I think they can wait a while longer,” Solomon teased with a sly smile, his eyes glowing with that playfulness Juliet adored. “I want to walk through the orchard with you for a spell and enjoy this time of peace before all the madness of tears and congratulations and wedding planning and goodness knows what else overtakes us.”
Embracing The Earl's Dream: A Clean Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 4) Page 20