by Carrie Elks
“I don’t know…” Ember trailed off.
Ally’s voice softened. “Are you afraid?” she asked. “It would be understandable after everything you’ve been through.”
“Of course not. I’m just not sure I want to find a relationship using an app.”
“It’s not about finding another relationship,” Ally said. “It’s about seeing that you’re an attractive, beautiful woman that most guys would beat the door down to date.” She shrugged. “It’s about having some fun and showing Will he hasn’t won.”
Ember sighed, but she pulled her phone out anyway and placed it in Ally’s open palm. Her better judgment had long since left the building.
“It’s okay,” Ally reassured her. “I’ve done this before. There’s really nothing to be scared of.”
The ocean was flirting with them this morning, if you could really call it morning. Though the sun was slowly rising, the darkness of the night still lingered, the deep blue of the sky reflected in the undulating water. They’d met here at six a.m., ready to make the most of the empty water.
Lucas had always loved the beach at this time of day. In spite of the crashing waves, there was a stillness to the air that you didn’t get when the sand was full of sun-worshippers. It was as though nature was slowly waking up and stretching her muscles, letting only the fortunate see her in her full glory. It had been too long since he’d experienced this feeling of being at one with nature – more often than not he was fighting against it. He was thankful that he’d called Griff and Jackson last night, and they’d agreed to meet this morning.
He was stomach-down on his board, his thin wetsuit the only barrier between him and the ocean. The smell of saltwater filled his senses, along with the rhythmic sound of the waves as they crashed into the shore. Like a hunter stalking his prey, he kept his eyes on the horizon, waiting for the one wave that was going to power him back to where he needed to be.
Not every wave was meant for surfing. As a boy, he’d learned to read the ocean, looking for the telltale signs of a closeout, when the wave toppled over before it was near the shore. He knew how to read the direction of the waves, how to estimate when they’d reach their peak. He’d grown up with the water, it was a part of him.
He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it.
Then he saw it, a swell on the skyline that was angled to the left. He licked his lips, tasted the salt on them, and moved his hands smoothly through the water until he was gliding across the surface.
From the corner of his eye, he could see Griff and Jackson holding back, watching as he paddled toward the face of the wave. It was the etiquette of surfing – the one closest to the wave got it, the others yielded. He’d learned that the first time he’d hit another surfer.
As he reached the wave, he arched his back, lifting himself onto his board as the face steepened. Then he was riding it, feeling the rush of air as it hit him, feeling the speed of his board as he moved with the wave. There was no sensation like it in the world, nothing that matched this visceral feeling of nature taking over. It sent a shot of adrenaline through him that made him feel invincible.
He crested the wave before it broke, riding it over to the other side, avoiding being dragged under with the power. And then it was over, leaving him breathless and alive. His heart beating as fast as it ever did on a call out.
“That was a beauty. You’ve still got it, man.” Griff high-fived Lucas as he paddled back to where they’d been watching him. Before he had a chance to reply, Griff was paddling out, chasing another wave. The magic was happening all over again.
“You ever think we’re too old for this?” Jackson asked as they walked through the surf and back toward the beach. As soon as they reached the gear they’d left on the sand, he grabbed his glasses and pulled them on, blinking rapidly. Then he switched on his phone, frowning as it began to beep like crazy. As a technical whizz and a successful businessman Jack’s time was rarely his own. Sighing, he tapped out a couple of quick replies and then put his phone back down, picking his towel up and rubbing his smartly-cut hair.
They’d been out for over an hour, and the town was beginning to wake up. The shutters on the stores lining the boardwalk were being pushed open and racks full of clothes and brightly colored plastic toys were being rolled out. On the far side of the boardwalk, Lucas could see somebody unstacking the chairs at the Beach Café. Another hour or two and this place would be full of families and tourists.
But they’d never get to see the ocean the way Lucas was seeing it right then.
“Too old?” Griff asked, joining the two of them. “How can we be? We’re only twenty-one, right?” He gave them a wicked grin.
“Yeah, and some.” Lucas laughed, and it felt good. As though the salty air had pushed down any melancholy for a while, letting the good humor out. They carried their boards up to the shower, using the spray to wash off the salt. Then he stood beneath it himself, the ice-cold water hitting his skin.
“Remember how we used to laugh at the old guys when we were kids?” Jackson propped his board up in the sand and sat on the edge of the boardwalk, unzipping his wet suit, and letting it fall open. His phone beeped again from the sand. “I said I’d rather die than be one of those, and now I am one.”
“Aren’t we all?” Griff asked.
Lucas ran a hand through his wet hair. Sometimes he still felt like the kid he used to be, especially today, out here riding the waves. But there was still that weight on his shoulders, the one that hadn’t let up in the past month. That reminder that no matter what he did, he couldn’t protect everybody.
“How did that call out go the other day?” Griff asked him, pulling on a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a t-shirt. They were his usual attire – though on colder days he switched out the shorts for a pair of jeans. So unlike Lucas in his firefighter’s uniform and Jackson in his perfectly-cut business suits. Strange how different they all were.
“It was fine.” Lucas shrugged. “No fire, just a kid stuck in some play equipment.” He didn’t mention the teacher, though he immediately thought of her and those warm brown eyes. His hands curled into fists as he remembered how smooth her thighs had felt when he touched her. She’d been so delicate as he’d helped her down, his fingers almost spanning her tiny waist. He blew out a long breath – now wasn’t the time to fantasize about Ember Kennedy’s body, no matter how amazing it was.
God knew he wasn’t going to get a chance to feel it again.
“I love a happy ending.” Griff rubbed his hands together. “Plus I would have been heartbroken if the school had burned down. Some of my favorite memories are from that place. Remember when I kissed Maisie Lee in the girl’s bathroom and the principal frog marched me out of there?”
“How could we forget?” Jackson asked dryly. “You didn’t stop talking about it for years.”
“It’s not my fault that my most exciting kiss happened when I was five, some of us don’t have Lucas’ charisma.”
“I don’t have charisma.” Lucas rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, well you do have a uniform, and that’s pretty much the same thing,” Griff said. “What about when you were on the football team? You were batting high school girls off like flies.”
“Seriously?” Lucas felt cornered. “We’re on to this again?”
“Remember Mandy?” Griff said. “How we all used to worship her? And of course she chose you.”
Lucas shifted uncomfortably. He’d never been one for reminiscing. Maybe his aversion had come from living in a small town, and seeing the older generation relive their glory days a little too often. He never wanted to be known as a high school footballer, or the guy who’d dated Mandy Deleon. He just wanted to be himself.
Whoever that was.
“I wonder what happened to her,” Jackson said. “I always thought she’d become a movie star or something. Didn’t she move to LA?”
“She’s married with two kids in Sacramento,” Lucas said, hoping that would bring an
end to the conversation.
“You keep in touch?” Griff sounded surprised.
Lucas shrugged. “She sends Christmas cards every year.” He looked down at his surf watch, battered and bruised from years of use, yet somehow still waterproof. “I gotta go, I promised my mom I’d help her move some stuff in the shop.” He stood, stretching his arms out to loosen the knots in his muscles. “And if I don’t go now, she’ll do it herself.” He grimaced; his friends knew his mom well. She’d taken care of them all the same way she’d taken care of her children, with love and a heavy dose of sarcasm.
Jackson stood too. “How is Deenie?” he asked. “I keep meaning to drop by the bookshop and say hi, but I haven’t had the time.”
“She’s good. Always asking about you guys.” Lucas grabbed his house keys from the zipped pocket in his shorts. “We should do this again soon.”
“Yeah we should. Are you free Monday evening?” Griff asked. “The forecast is looking good.”
“Nope. I’ve got a meeting.” Lucas grimaced.
“Well that sucks.”
It did. Frank Megassey had called him the evening before to tell him about a delivery of fittings he’d ordered. Then he’d reminded Lucas that he’d volunteered to help at the Angel Day Fair. It was the last thing he wanted to do, yet he’d found himself agreeing he’d be there. He owed Frank for all the favors he was doing him, after all.
It was only a couple of meetings and the fair itself. Then he’d be ready to go back on full duties in White City, his time in Angel Sands a distant memory. And the feeling of Ember Kennedy’s body pressed against his would become just a figment of his imagination.
That could only be a good thing couldn’t it?
8
“Mom, are you in here?” Ember opened up the door to the garage and looked inside. She’d been knocking on the front door for five minutes with no success. She’d tried calling her earlier too, during recess, but her mom hadn’t answered her then either. So she’d decided to drop by on her way home from school, to check that everything was okay. Since her father died – and with Chelsea living so far away – it felt like her responsibility to take care of their mom.
“Yes, I am,” her mom called out. Ember stepped inside the garage and saw her sitting in the far corner, surrounded by boxes.
As soon as she got closer she could see they were full of old photographs, their colors faded from years of being exposed to the stale garage air. The ones in her mom’s hands depicted their family from years earlier – her parents, Ember herself, and in a few of them, baby Chelsea. She couldn’t help but smile at the fashions they were wearing.
“Wow,” she said, sitting on the stool next to her mom. “You have a lot of old photos.”
Her mom looked up, her eyes watery. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”
Ember checked her watch. “It’s five in the evening, Mom. School’s out for the night.”
“That can’t be right. Let me see.” Her mom leaned over and checked out Ember’s watch. “How can that be? I came in after lunch to look for an old insurance document.”
Ember found herself looking around the garage, taking in the overstuffed shelves and piles of boxes. “Did you find it?”
Her mom shook her head. “I found these photographs instead. I’ve been looking at them ever since.” She lifted one of Ember holding Chelsea up, her eyes squinting as she smiled at the camera. “Isn’t this one beautiful? I’d forgotten your father had saved all these.” Her voice wobbled. “He never liked to throw anything out.”
“Maybe we should try and sort through everything,” Ember suggested, she hated seeing her mom like this. Being surrounded by all these things wasn’t healthy. “Throw some of it out. I saw a box the other day that was full of electrical leads. Some of them looked like Edison might have made them.”
“No.” Her mom’s voice was firm. “I don’t want to throw anything out.” She placed the photograph back in the box and closed it up, pressing down on the tape to keep it closed. “I’m not ready.”
Ember opened her mouth to say something, then firmly closed it again, sometimes there wasn’t anything she could say. Even if it seemed unhealthy for her mom to be surrounded by all these memories, it wasn’t her place to say it. Maybe she’d call Chelsea and talk it through with her. She might have a good idea of how to deal with their mom. She didn’t want her to spend her days wallowing in memories. Laura Kennedy was still young, after all, with years of life ahead of her. She needed to start living it.
Ember bit her lip and remembered how different things had been when Will had left. She’d thrown everything they’d bought together out. Dumped their old photograph albums, wiped her social media accounts of any mention of him. And then she’d blocked his number.
Will was still alive and kicking, whereas her father was gone, but in the end she and her mom were both on their own. Both suffering from broken hearts for two very different reasons. Two examples of how badly love could hurt you when it decided to let you go.
It was no good. She was wallowing now, too. She took a deep breath and turned to her mom. “I need to get going, I have a meeting tonight. I just wanted to check that you were okay.”
“A meeting? Is it back at the school?” Her mom looked up at her, blinking away the dust that danced around her.
Ember shook her head. “It’s the Angel Day Fair meeting.”
Laura’s eyes widened. “You’re still part of the committee? I thought you would have left.” Her voice dropped. “After everything that happened with Will.”
Ember had thought that, too. But when she’d received the email from Frank Megassey sent to committee members from the previous year, she’d found herself confirming her attendance. If she was being really honest, she was dreading it and looking forward to it in equal measure.
Dreading, because along with Frank Megassey, the committee was co-chaired by Janice Martin. The woman who happened to be her ex-almost-but-not-quite-mother-in-law. She hadn’t spoken with Janice since Will had left – she’d been too shaken up for that. Yet for all the years that Ember and Will had dated she’d been like a second mother to Ember. The Angel Day Fair Committee had always been their thing, a way to bond together in what could have been an awkward relationship. Now any relationship was over, and Ember wasn’t sure what she’d say to Janice when she saw her again, but that wasn’t any reason not to go.
The fact was, Ember loved the fair. She had ever since she was a small child, her tiny hand folded in her father’s palm as they’d weaved their way in and out of all the stations and food vans. She only had to smell the sweet fragrance of funnel cake to be transported back there. So when Janice had asked for her help that first year she’d jumped at the chance. Nowadays she was practically a stalwart, and she wasn’t going to let Will spoil that.
“The committee has nothing to do with Will.” Ember shrugged. “They need some help and I enjoy running the stall, so I’m going.”
Her mom reached out and touched her shoulder. “Have I told you recently how proud I am of you? You’re such a strong woman.” She gave Ember a small smile. “When I grow up I want to be just like you.”
Ember chuckled, leaning forward to hug her mom. “The feeling’s mutual,” she said, squeezing her tight. “It must be something in our blood. Life may try and kick us down but we keep going.”
“That should be the Kennedy family motto,” her mom joked as Ember released her.
“I think it already is.”
After all that big talk, Ember still found herself hesitating before she pushed the door open to the Beach Club where the committee meeting was taking place. This low, sprawling white-stone building held so many memories from the past few years. It was here that Will had first introduced her to his parents, a nerve-filled Sunday lunch six years ago; and it was here they’d planned to get married.
And now? She felt like she was reaching some level of acceptance, and seeing Janice Martin would be
the final step in that journey. They both lived in Angel Sands, they were bound to bump into each other at some point. If she was as strong as she wanted to believe she was, then Ember needed to walk through those doors.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside, letting the cool air conditioning embrace her warm skin. She smiled and nodded at the receptionist, then took a left down the hallway to the main ballroom where the meeting was due to take place.
As soon as she walked in everything felt so familiar. The low drone of conversation, the warm fragrance of freshly-made coffee, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore that came in from the open glass frontage. She looked around, recognizing the faces that surrounded her. She was surprised how easy a smile came to her face.
It was like coming home from a long vacation. Everything was the same – only Ember was different. She’d been shaped by the past few months, her outlook had changed, yet she was still so happy to be here.
She wasn’t sure what drew her eye to the far corner of the room. A movement, maybe, or something deeper like fate? Whatever it was, she slowly turned her head, her eyes immediately connected with his.
Her heart did a double take as she took in the dark cropped hair, vivid blue eyes, and full lips that would look too much on anybody else, yet completely worked for him. Even without seeing his face she would have known it was him, simply by the way he held himself. He was a man who knew how to use his body, she knew that much from their previous encounters.
Their gazes were still connected three breaths later. A slow smile lifted up the corner of his lips, and her heart skipped a beat all over again.
What the hell was going on? It had to be that knight-in-shining-armor-thing back with a vengeance. Or maybe her mind was trying to do anything to distract her from the fact she was back at the Beach Club. Yet she couldn’t stop her chest from feeling like Skippy the Kangaroo was jumping all over it. In the end she had no choice but to give in to the feeling.