by Carrie Elks
“I said some stupid things because I was worried about you. But actually I think you were brave to download it. How many people step out of their comfort zone and try something new?”
“Yeah, well that’s the last time I try something like that. With my history I should have known better.”
“Your history?” Now he was intrigued. “What about your history?”
“I’m not good with relationships.”
That made him laugh out loud, but as soon as he saw her surprised expression he stopped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh,” he said, shaking his head. “But how can you be bad at relationships if you were engaged to a guy for so long?”
“How do you know about my engagement?” Her brows dipped as she looked at him.
“Caitie told me.”
“You were talking to Caitie about me?”
Busted. For the first time he felt his own embarrassment rise up. “Not me, my mom. I was sitting next to her.” He didn’t quite meet her gaze. “You know what moms are like. They want to know everything.”
“Yeah, I know exactly what moms are like.” She sighed. “Anyway, just because you get engaged doesn’t mean you’re good at relationships. Especially if the guy you’re engaged to skips town.”
“He left without telling you?” Lucas frowned.
Ember swallowed, her neck undulating as she did. “Not quite. He told me one day and left the next.” She blew out a mouthful of air. “In that respect he has one up on Adam Michaelson, if that’s his real name. At least Will had the guts to tell me first.”
“Doesn’t sound to me like he had any guts at all. And no sense whatsoever. Because look what he left behind.” He gestured at her. “I bet he’s kicking himself now.”
“I don’t think so.”
Lucas’ eyes softened. “Well he sounds like a fool to me.”
When their eyes met this time, it coincided with a crash of a wave against the rocks. He felt something vibrate through him – a desire to reach out and touch her – and it was taking all of him to stop himself.
“I’m sorry for talking about all my troubles,” she said softly. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear them, you must have troubles of your own.”
“Doesn’t everybody?” He shrugged. “And it’s no trouble talking with you. I like it.”
That felt like an understatement. Sitting here with Ember made him feel whole in a way he hadn’t for a long time. As though all the pieces of him that had torn away, thanks to his job, were slowly reassembling themselves.
“I like it too.”
If he’d been any other guy right then – Adam Michaelson or Will – Lucas might have taken the opportunity to touch her. Maybe he’d run his fingers through her hair, or lightly press his palm against her arm to see if she was feeling the same way he was.
But he wasn’t those guys, hadn’t been for a long time. Half the time he wasn’t even sure what kind of guy he was. And Ember deserved everything – she deserved to be with somebody who could give her what she wanted. Not a man whose life was dedicated to his job, who could never promise when he’d be home – if he’d make it home at all.
What kind of guy would he be if he hit on her now, anyway? She’d just been stood up and was clearly still cut up about it. Better to be a friend, a listening ear. Even if his mind was telling him he wanted so much more.
It was taking every bit of strength he had not to listen to it.
14
“You deleted it? Why?” Rachel leaned on the waist-level playground fence, half an eye on the children playing. Her insulated mug was empty – as was Ember’s – and it dangled from her fingers as she watched. Recess was almost finished – less than a couple of minutes left to go, and it was as though the children knew their time was coming to an end. The volume of their shouts had increased, as had the speed of their running.
An extinction burst, Principal Sawyer called it. As long as they worked off their energy, Ember didn’t care what it was.
“Because it was full of guys sending disgusting pictures and making lewd suggestions.” Ember shrugged. “Even the ones I thought might be good guys turned out to not even turn up. I figure I’m better off alone.”
“It didn’t turn out too badly for you though, did it? I heard on the grapevine that a certain firefighter saved the day and swept you off your feet to dinner.”
“Who told you that?” Ember frowned.
Rachel looked disgustingly pleased with herself. She pushed her finger and thumb together and mimed zipping her lips. That didn’t stop her from opening them all over again, though. “A little birdy told me. You know what this town’s like, everybody knows everything.”
“Well that birdy is talking out of its behind.” Ember shook her head. “If you want the truth, he felt sorry for me and bought me a hot dog, which was cold by the time I ate it. And then I went home and drowned my sorrows with a glass of wine and went straight to bed.”
Rachel didn’t look too convinced. She opened her mouth to reply but the sound of the school bell drowned out her words. A wave of relief washed over Ember at being saved by the bell, and she started hustling the students out of the playground and through the double doors that led to the classrooms. When the final child was inside, she closed the gate and followed them in, lifting a hand to wave at Marian, Principal Sawyer’s secretary who was sitting at the front desk.
“Oh, Ember? Somebody called and left a message for you,” Marian called over to her. She shuffled through the thick pile of papers on her desk, triumphantly pulling out the right one. “It’s from a guy called Frank. I asked for his last name, but he was mumbling and I didn’t quite catch it. Peggoty or something. Anyway, your meeting tonight has changed locations. Apparently the Beach Club is double booked. I made him repeat the address twice, so I think I have it right.” She held out the piece of paper to Ember. She took it, frowning as she read the familiar address.
“Are you sure this is right?” Ember asked. “He definitely said 1795 Paxton Avenue?”
“Yeah, as I said I made him repeat it.” Marian frowned. “Is there something wrong?”
“No,” Ember said faintly. “Nothing wrong at all.” She swallowed hard, folding the notepaper up and sliding it into her pocket. It wasn’t as if she needed to read it again. She knew exactly what house 1795 Paxton Avenue was.
She’d spent more than enough time there in the past few years.
“I should get back to my class,” she said, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest. “Thanks for taking the message.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She flashed Marian what she hoped looked like a smile. “Nothing a little light arithmetic won’t cure, anyway.” She gave Marian a nod, then hurried down the hallway to her classroom, trying – and failing – not to think about tonight’s meeting.
A committee meeting at her ex-almost-parent-in-laws’ beachfront home. What could possibly be wrong with that?
Lucas pulled his car up on the Martins’ sweeping driveway and turned the ignition off, tapping his pocket to make sure his keys were there. He had to be one of the last here – there were already fifteen or more cars parked up, and the generous driveway accommodated them comfortably. As he climbed out of his car a breeze from the ocean beyond the imposing house danced around his skin and pulled at his t-shirt.
He ran his palm over his close-cropped hair, staring up at the house. This part of town was full of buildings like this one, with access to the beach and views of the ocean beyond. As a kid he’d been envious of people who got to live like this, of their obvious wealth and affluent lifestyle.
It’s only as he grew older that he stopped aspiring to have a home like this one day. It would never be possible on a firefighter’s salary anyway – not even if he made chief, let alone captain. He never wanted to sell his soul to the devil – or to Newton Pharmaceuticals – just to get a slice of the good life. He preferred his own life, thank you very much, even if it m
eant his only view of the ocean came from his grandparents’ run-down cottage.
When he reached the top of the steps, he rapped his knuckles on the door a couple of times. A few seconds later it opened, and Janice Martin smiled widely at him. “They managed to track you down,” she said, stepping back to let him in. “You wouldn’t check your voicemails.”
It was almost impossible not to like Janice Martin. She had one of those personalities that drew people in. Lucas wondered if it was something that came with age, or maybe it had just skipped him altogether.
“Go on through to the deck,” Janice said, pointing down the hallway to the double doors that led to the outside of the house. “Can I get you something to drink? A beer, or a soda?”
“Soda would be great.”
She peeled off to the right – Lucas assumed to the kitchen – leaving him to make his way down the hallway to the doors. The walls were full of photographs – not snapshots, but blown-up professionally posed ones. Of Janice and her husband, he presumed, and their two children in various stages of maturity. There were the obligatory graduation photographs, a few Christmas poses, and finally one of a young man of twenty-five or so, standing proudly with his arms around a woman of the same age. He was holding her hand out, displaying a huge ring on her left hand. The two of them were all smiles.
Wait a minute. Something about that photograph plucked at his brain. Lucas turned his head to look again. As soon as he focused on it properly, he realized exactly what it was.
The woman in the photograph was Ember Kennedy.
Her hair was shorter than it was now, curling around her shoulders rather than tumbling below them, but still as glossy and pretty. Her eyes were shining, her face the picture of happiness. And there was something about it that felt like a kick in the gut.
“Here you are… oh. Oh my goodness.” Janice came to a stop next to him. “I’d forgotten about that picture.” She glanced out of the corner of her eye, at the group of people outside on the deck. “I hope Ember didn’t see it. I don’t want to upset her even more.”
She sounded genuinely concerned.
“I’m sure she didn’t notice,” Lucas said, though he wasn’t sure at all.
“Of course she did. It was probably the first thing she looked for.” Janice’s eyes were shiny with tears. “She must think I’m some kind of monster for leaving it up.”
Lucas took the glass of soda out of her shaking hand before she dropped it. “It was an oversight.”
“You’re very kind. Thank you.” She patted his arm. “I’ve been so worried about her, and it’s so awkward with everything that happened. But Will’s our son and we love him.” Janice let out a deep sigh. Lucas couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Living in a small town like this with people knowing your business had to be hard, especially when your son had done the dirty on somebody as well loved as Ember.
“I’ve no idea why I’m telling you all this,” she continued. “I’m sure you’d like to go outside and join the others.” She made a shooing movement with her hand. “I’ll be out with you in a second. I just need to ask my husband to do a little rearranging.”
She wasn’t wrong – this whole conversation was awkward. He barely knew Janice Martin. Even at the best of times he avoided emotional interactions like this, especially when there were tears involved.
But it wasn’t just awkwardness that he was feeling. There was something else, too. Something stronger, more primal that was squeezing at his gut and making his body heat up.
He felt furious at the thought of Will Martin. Of the way he’d skipped town only a day after ending his engagement to Ember. He’d never met the guy and he already didn’t like him, the same way he hadn’t liked that Adam Michaelson guy when he stood her up at Delmonico’s. The thought of the way they’d both treated her made Lucas want to curl up his fists and punch something hard.
Instead he lifted the glass to his lips, hoping the soda might cool him down. Taking a mouthful, he followed the hallway out to the deck, raising his hand at Frank Megassey to let him know he was here.
Almost immediately he searched the rest of the crowd to see if she was there. It was as if his eyes had a mind of their own. They alighted on her – recognizing that dark brown hair and the slight tilt of her head as she was talking to another committee member.
For a second he held back. Not because he didn’t want to see Ember, but because he wanted it too much. He didn’t like the way he felt drawn over there, or the way he had to tense his thigh muscles to stop himself from walking. There was too much going on in his mind and it was driving him crazy.
The sooner he stopped hanging around Angel Sands and got back to work the better. Being here was making him feel all the things he didn’t want to, making him wonder if a life working and living here wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Making him wonder if he could make her smile the way she did in that photograph.
Ember slowly turned her head, as though she could feel the power of his stare. Her eyes immediately met his, and he felt the shock of their connection. Her lips curled up, and even if her grin wasn’t as big as he’d have liked, it still did something to him. Made him feel warm from his cheeks down to his stomach.
He took a deep breath, and one more mouthful of soda, then walked over to greet her.
“Well that about wraps it up, folks,” Frank said from where he was standing at the edge of the deck. The committee was facing him, some sitting in chairs, others on the steps that led down from the deck to the gardens and the beach beyond. “Remember, I need you all up bright and early on Saturday. We start setting everything up at 5 a.m., and then we do it all again after ten o’clock that night – except this time we’ll be taking it all down. Now, any questions?”
Ember watched him from her vantage point at the far end of the steps, where she was sitting next to Frank’s wife. It was so strange being back here in a house that had felt like her second home for so long, seeing the familiar garden furniture mixed among some new acquisitions Janice and Richard must have made in the past few months.
Like the new statue at the far end. It was modern – made of some kind of bent metal. More Janice’s taste than Richard’s, if she had to hazard a guess. It was very striking.
Lucas was leaning against the back wall of the house. Every now and then she couldn’t help but turn her head to look at him. He was staring straight ahead, his jaw straight and set, the thick muscles of his firm body filling his blue pants and ASFD t-shirt in a way that nobody else could.
She felt a jolt of attraction when she looked at him, it was so visceral it made her spine tingle and her heart gallop. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact time when she’d realized exactly how much she liked him, because right now her mind was filled with nothing else.
She thought back to the first time she saw him. When she’d thought he had some kind of stick up his ass and a thing for health and safety. He’d been so sullen that day, yet even then he’d helped her lift that damn propane into her trunk.
And yeah, she’d noticed his muscles.
Did he like her that way, too? Ember wasn’t sure. He’d been more than kind to her, not only with the propane and the rescue at school, but also the way he’d taken care of her after that terrible night at Delmonico’s. But what she couldn’t quite tell was whether that kindness was something he offered to everybody. Maybe he had some kind of hero complex. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? After all, he was a firefighter; saving people was his job.
She shifted in her seat again, uncomfortable from the hard boards digging into her behind. She felt a little giddy, her mind reeling the way it would when she stepped off a rollercoaster. Her blood felt warm, heated, as it flowed through her veins.
It felt almost wrong to feel this level of desire toward him. Not only because she was sitting in a backyard belonging to her ex-fiancé’s parents, though that was weird enough. But because she’d never felt a magnetic pull like this before.
All her lif
e she’d believed relationships were about mental connections, about friendships that slowly grew into love – the way she’d fallen for Will. They were gentle, cerebral, and definitely not about animal attraction. And they certainly didn’t make your body feel as though it was being set on fire every time you connected with him.
Her desire for Lucas felt completely different, and she wasn’t sure what that meant.
She also wasn’t sure how much longer she could fight against it.
15
“Are you sure I can’t help you with anything else?” Ember asked. “I could bring in all the glasses while you wash them up. We could get everything cleared up a lot faster that way.”
Janice smiled at her. “Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of letting you help. You’re a guest, and guests don’t help clean up.” She glanced over her shoulder at her husband. “And anyway, Richard has everything under control, you know how much he loves doing the dishes.”
Ember raised her eyebrows. “Isn’t that the time he usually gets a call from one of his business associates?”
“Every time.” Janice laughed. “You know us too well.”
Ember wasn’t sure what to say to that. Another reminder that life had taken a ninety-degree swerve. She used to know them, she used to be one of them. And now? She wasn’t sure who she was becoming.
“I’m sorry, honey. I wasn’t thinking.” Janice touched her arm. “I hate this, I really do. Everything feels so awkward between us.” She sighed. “Did you see your engagement photo on the wall when you came in? I asked Richard to take it down weeks ago, but the damn fool forgot. I hope you weren’t too upset.”
“It’s okay. It really is.” Of course she’d noticed. It was the first thing she’d looked for when she walked through the hallway. She’d assumed it had been replaced, and her natural curiosity had made her check to see what photograph they’d hung in its stead.
And when she’d seen it? She’d felt as though she was looking at another person, another Ember Kennedy. She barely recognized herself. But shockingly, she hadn’t felt hurt or upset or any of the other things Janice clearly assumed she’d been feeling.