by Carrie Elks
As if on cue it growled again. It sounded painful. “Don’t you eat when you’re working on the cottage?” she asked him. “Surely you must need a lot of calories to keep going.”
“Sometimes I’m so busy I forget to eat.”
She traced a lazy finger across his chest and looked up at him. “I hope you don’t do that when you’re working, too. I’m guessing you need all your energy to be a firefighter.”
Lucas swallowed. “There’s always food in the rec room. We don’t starve.” He cleared his throat. “Actually, I heard from my chief this morning.”
“You did?” She raised her eyebrows.
“She wants me to come back to work in a week.”
Ember lifted her head up, frowning. “I thought you had more leave than that left.”
“I did. I was supposed to be here for a few more weeks, but something’s come up and they need me back.”
“Can they just cancel your leave like that?” she asked him. “Isn’t that unfair?”
“It’s not normal leave. They’re the ones who asked me to take some time off.” His voice was low.
Ember could feel a fluttering of nerves in her stomach but had no idea why. “Why did they ask you to take leave?”
He was silent for a moment, apart from the gentle sounds of his breath as he inhaled and exhaled.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she quickly added, wondering if she’d stepped over the boundaries of whatever this was between them.
“It’s okay, I’m just trying to find the right words.” He cleared his throat, and she wanted to turn and look at him again, to see the expression on his face. But she was afraid of breaking the moment, afraid he wouldn’t tell her what happened.
“I had a bit of a breakdown,” he finally said, his voice as low as before. “After we got called out to a multi-car pile-up on the interstate.” He paused again, and she could hear the sound of her blood rushing through her ears. “It was a mess. So many injured people. It was hard to know where to start. There were four crews out there, all trying to get people out of cars and get them away in case the gas tanks exploded. My crew was sent to get a family out of an SUV. I only had to glance through the window to see the adults in the front were dead, but there was a baby in the back, no older than twelve months. He was in one of those backward facing seats. It had saved him from dying on impact.” He swallowed hard. Ember slid her hands on top of his, squeezing them tightly. “The baby wasn’t crying. He wasn’t doing anything at all but staring up at me, with big blue eyes. And I saw hope in there. A belief that an adult was coming to make everything better, that all this scary shit that had been happening would go away.”
He took another deep breath. Ember stayed silent, feeling as though her heart was rising up her throat.
“The first step is to make sure there’s no possibility of explosion. The second is to get the casualties out as quickly as possible. Within seconds I spotted the gas leak. The fuel was pouring out of the tank and onto the blacktop beneath. I screamed out to my crew that there was a baby in there, trapped, and we needed to get him out. But there were sparks coming from the engine. My crew tried to drag me back, knowing there were only seconds until the goddamn thing would explode. And that baby was still staring at me, waiting for me to save him, and I was looking back at him, knowing he’s about to die.” Lucas’ voice cracked. She could feel him shaking behind her. Ember wracked her brain to find the right words, but in her heart she knew they didn’t exist.
“Lucas,” she whispered, her eyes stinging with tears. “Oh God.”
“I’ve seen people die before,” he told her. “I’ve dealt with bodies, even kids, but I’ve never stared into the eyes of a baby and known I couldn’t save him.”
She thought back to the Angel Day Fair and how overcome he’d been by Nicholas’ thanks. She’d wondered about that, and the way he’d responded, but now it was becoming clearer in her head. The tears spilled over, running down her cheeks. She turned in his arms until they were facing each other. She reached out for his face, cupping it with her palms, pressing her lips against his to try and show him how much she cared.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry.”
“It’s history,” he said back, his voice thick. “If I keep doing this job I’m going to see things like that. I just need to deal with them.”
She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. They weren’t hers to shed. She kissed him again, wanting to take the sadness away. Wanting to take them back to the warm, sensual peace they’d had only minutes earlier.
If she’d been a better person maybe she’d share her secrets, too. Maybe she’d tell him about her own loss, the one she hadn’t told anybody but Will about. But she wasn’t a better person, and right now she didn’t want to think about her secrets.
Instead she kissed him again, running her hands down his rippled arms, pressing her body against his until their troubles disappeared. Replaced by an urgent need neither of them could deny. He returned her kisses and rolled her over, sliding his body over hers.
It was time to forget about everything except this moment. And as he slid himself slowly inside her, they did exactly that.
21
“A week?” Griff said as the three of them pulled their surfboards from the back of his truck. “That’s not long. I thought you’d be here for longer.” He shook his head, his long hair moving with the breeze. “I’m gonna miss you, man.”
Jackson laughed as he unzipped his pristine board bag. “He’s not moving across the world, he can still come back here whenever he wants.”
Griff shrugged. “That’s not exactly true. He spends half his time at the station. And even when he’s off he’s never around. Too busy sleeping or doing paperwork.”
“I am right here, you know,” Lucas pointed out, trying to swallow down his amusement. He felt strangely touched by Griff’s words. “And yeah, I’m going to be much busier than I am now, but I’ll still be seeing you guys.”
“You won’t be able to come out with us like this though, will you?” Griff stripped his t-shirt off. One of the best things about California summers was the fact they didn’t need to put on their wetsuits, they could head straight for the water. “Until the last few weeks we hadn’t seen you out here for months. I’ve gotten used to having you around.”
“I can try.” Lucas felt bad. One of the downsides of the shifts he worked was trying to fit everything in. Twenty-four hours on, followed by two days off was never going to be compatible with his nine-to-five friends. Not even with Griff who’d hadn’t worked a nine-to-five in his life.
“Yeah, well I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyway, from what I hear you’re not busy at the cottage anymore. You’re busy with a certain school teacher.”
“What school teacher?” Jackson asked, sounding suddenly interested.
Lucas sighed. This was exactly what Ember had wanted to avoid – people speculating about their relationship.
They made their way down to the ocean’s edge. It was still early in the morning – the sun had barely climbed out of the mountains behind them. He wanted to point out that he didn’t get out of bed with a beautiful woman to be grilled about their relationship. He was here to surf.
Okay, and maybe spend some time with his friends, too.
“So this school teacher… you finally got it together with her?” Griff grinned at him as the water reached the tips of their toes. “Tell me more.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” Lucas sighed. The waves looked amazing, beckoning them in with their white tipped glory. He wanted to be out there, forgetting everything, not having to explain what was going on between him and Ember Kennedy.
The fact was, he had no idea what was going on, and he definitely didn’t want to talk about it. She’d asked for them to take things slow but it was killing him. He felt boxed in on all sides. By her, by his job, by his own feelings.
Because he really did have strong feelings fo
r her. She was like a cool balm on his sunburned skin. She soothed him in a way he hadn’t felt before. And in a week it was all going to be over.
Jackson sent him a sympathetic smile, then launched his board into the water, finding a channel and paddling it out to the waves, so much for brotherly support. That left him alone with all of Griff’s questions.
“Is it serious between you two?”
“I’ve no idea.” Lucas scratched the back of his neck.
“You’re lying.”
“What?” Lucas looked at his friend in surprise. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re rubbing your neck, you always do that when you’re uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, well maybe I just don’t want to be having this conversation. There’s really nothing to tell. She’s pretty, she’s funny, and she’s just come out of a long term relationship. Add in the fact I’ll be back in White City soon, and that tells you everything you need to know.”
“But you like her.”
“Is that a question?” Lucas asked.
“Nope. Just a casual observation. And I’m pleased for you, man. I really am. How long have I been telling you to get over yourself and have some fun? All this crazy stuff about women not liking your job, it’s clearly not true. I’m guessing she doesn’t mind one little bit.”
“We haven’t had that conversation.”
“What conversations have you had?”
His neck was feeling itchy again. Lucas had to hold his board tightly not to give into the need to rub it. “None, because there’s nothing to talk about. And when I’m back in White City, the chances of seeing her are going to drop, so we’re enjoying it while we can.”
“Why are they gonna drop? You still get time off, won’t you want to see her then?”
Yeah, of course he’d want to see her. The question was would she want to see him? She liked him, he knew that, but was it enough to put up with his job?
Lucas had no idea.
“Maybe.” He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He wanted to surf and forget about things for a while.
“I think you’re crazy,” Griff said, shrugging.
“Yeah, well the feeling’s mutual.” Lucas looked at his friend. “Now are we gonna stand around here all morning talking, or do you want to hit some waves?”
One of the best parts of living so close to the ocean was being able to spend time at the beach after work. Ember drove straight from school to the parking lot behind the boardwalk and ran into the café to change into her swimsuit. Ally was busy serving customers, but mouthed, “I’ll catch you later,” to Ember as she rushed out of the bathroom, shoving her skirt and blouse into her beach bag, and slinging her towel over her shoulder.
Brooke had already set up her blanket a few yards away from the water, and was helping Nicholas find shells in the line of wet sand on the ocean’s edge. Ember called out to them, and they both turned and waved, Nick holding up a huge conch shell with a big smile on his face.
“Come and see, Miss Kennedy,” he called out. “If I hold it up to my ear I can hear the waves.”
“I don’t like to tell him that I can hear the waves without the shell at my ear,” Brooke whispered good humoredly as Ember reached the two of them. “And sorry about the Miss Kennedy thing. He still gets confused.”
“It’s fine, I don’t mind what he calls me.” It always made her smile when she saw her students out in the town. For a start they looked shocked that she would spend time anywhere but at school. And secondly they never knew whether to wave at her or to be embarrassed. She tried to make it easier on them by waving first.
Ember hunkered down in front of Nick, admiring the shell he’d found. “That’s a beauty,” she said, reaching out to trace the spiral that led to the pinnacle of the conch. “You’re a lucky boy.”
Nick’s face softened at her praise. “Did you know an animal used to live in here?” he asked her. “This was his home. Do you think he’ll mind if I take it to my home?”
She glanced over at Brooke who was looking amused. Somehow the tricky questions always seemed to land at Ember’s door. It was as though they thought she was taught how to answer them at grad school, along with how to organize a lesson, and the best way to format homework.
“I don’t think he’ll mind at all,” Ember said, smiling at her godson. “He’s not around to enjoy it any more. I’m sure he’d be happy that somebody admires it so much.”
“Where is he now?”
Ember side eyed Brooke. She was about to launch into a long explanation about the lifespan of sea animals when her phone rang.
Saved by the bell.
Winking at Nick, she pulled it out of her pocket, seeing Lucas’ name on the display. Almost immediately she felt her heart speed up, as she swiped on the screen to accept the call.
“Hi.” She couldn’t stop her lips curling up into a smile as she spoke.
“Hey. How was your day?”
“Not too bad. How about yours?”
“I painted the living area so I’m almost there.” He sounded as though he was smiling, too. “Do you want to meet tonight? I can make us something to eat in the new kitchen.”
“That sounds good.” It really did. “I’m at the beach at the moment, but I can come over afterward.”
Brooke waggled her eyebrows, and Ember rolled her eyes in response. She knew her friend would have a whole lot of questions as soon as she hung up from this call.
“I could meet you there,” Lucas suggested. She heard the rumble of his engine as he started his car up. “I hear the waves are pretty good today. Maybe I’ll bring my board. Then, when we’re ready, we can go home after that.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Me too,” Brooke mouthed.
Half an hour later they were paddling in the shallows of the ocean, Brooke on one side of Nick and Ember on the other as he wore his lifejacket, swim mask, and snorkel, kicking his little legs out as he surveyed the sandy floor. Ember looked up for a moment to see Lucas standing on the water’s edge, the tip of his board resting in the sand as he casually held onto it with his hand.
It wasn’t the board that got her attention, though. It was the way he looked, standing there in the early evening sunlight, wearing only board shorts that hung low on his hips. The ambient light from the sun made every ridge in his abdomen and chest stand out. For a moment, her fingers tingled to touch him the way she did when they were in bed. Thank God she was in the cold water of the Pacific Ocean – the equivalent of a short, sharp, freezing shower.
“Wow.” Brooke must have noticed the way she was looking. “He looks even better when he’s not wearing anything.” She lifted her hand up and waved at him. “Hey, Lucas.”
“Lucas is here?” Nick stood up, having pulled out his snorkel. The water only reached up to his waist. “Hi, Lucas.” He waved madly. “Can I go and see his surfboard?” he asked Brooke.
“Sure.” She grinned at Ember. “I wouldn’t mind taking a look myself.”
“You sound more like Ally every day,” Ember told her.
“Yeah, well I’m taking a lot of mental pictures right now, because I know she’ll want me to describe this scene in detail.”
Nick ran ahead, his feet kicking up foam in the water. As soon as he reached Lucas he gave him a high-five. Brooke sighed audibly. “Well maybe Ally is on to something. That man is mighty fine.”
“Could you stop staring at his abs?” Ember asked her. “Seriously, he’s my…” she trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right words. “My friend.”
“You were going to say boyfriend.”
Ember shook her head emphatically. “No, I wasn’t.” It was the truth. The fact was, she didn’t know a word that encapsulated what they had. Friend didn’t sound like enough. Boyfriend? No, that wasn’t right either.
They’d reached the beach, and as they walked over to Lucas and Nick, Ember could feel the dry sand sticking to her damp feet. She glanced down, the yellow grains coa
ting her skin, leaving only her pink toenails exposed.
And when she looked up, her brown eyes immediately met his blue ones.
“Mom, can we watch Lucas surf?” Nick asked, his snorkel and mask forgotten. “Have you seen his board? It’s cool.”
Ember’s lips twitched. There was more than a hint of hero-worship to Nick’s voice. He wasn’t usually so forward with adults he barely knew – most of the time he was reserved and quiet. Lucas helping him out at the fair must have unleashed something in him.
“Um, sure. As long as we’re not bothering you.” Brooke looked first at Ember and then at Lucas, as if checking they were welcome.
“I’m fine with it.” Lucas smiled at Brooke. “If it’s okay with you, I can take him out on the board. Nowhere dangerous. Just show him a few moves.”
“Whoa! Can I, Mom?”
Brooke smiled at her son. “Sure. But make sure you do everything Lucas tells you to. Remember how dangerous the ocean can be.”
Nick nodded rapidly. “I will, I promise.”
Ember and Brooke sat down a few feet back from the water’s edge, watching as Lucas and Nick waded out into the water. Though she couldn’t hear what he was saying, Ember could see Lucas talking slowly to the small boy, and from Nick’s expression he was hanging on every word. Lucas had his board under his arm. With his other hand he reached out for Nick’s, keeping him steady as the waves washed over his legs.
“Ember…” Brooke sighed.
“Don’t say it.” Ember shook her head, even though her friend’s gaze was firmly on the man and the boy walking out into the ocean.
“He’s gorgeous, and a natural with kids. I only have to look at him and my ovaries start to flutter.”
He seemed to have that effect on people. Well, at least on Ember, anyway. She watched as Lucas lay the board down on the surface of the water, pointing out parts of it and presumably explaining to Nick how it worked.