I stared at Ash for a long moment, trying to understand the words that had come out of his mouth, then struggling to accept them.
“Here? Why?” I asked incredulously, shaking my head to dispel the flood of emotions threatening to cloud my mind. How I could still be shocked by anything after everything I’d seen and done lately, God only knew, but somehow, it kept happening.
Ash nodded, glancing at Jade as he continued, “For the resurrection.”
Well, I had said rip off the bandage. Consider it ripped.
Ash stood and walked away. He was pacing about the room staring at the floor, then the walls, like he was reliving the battle moment by moment, blow by blow. I couldn’t blame him. The past few hours were going to haunt me the rest of my life, and while we all knew it wasn’t over, I had a sick feeling in my stomach that we had barely scratched the surface.
“Alex?” I heard Ash whisper from across the room, “Do you remember Henry being here after the Veil opened?”
I sat up, instantly on guard, running every moment of the assault through my now perfect memory. “No.” He hadn’t been. I hadn’t seen him once since the moment he opened the rift between realms, and I knew what that meant without hashing out the details. “He’s gone.”
The thought of him loose on the world was far more disconcerting than the idea of all the demons and Fallen roaming around. I felt bile rise in my throat thinking about what kind of damage that monster could do running free.
I must have looked on the outside the way I felt on the inside, because Jade stood and said, “I’m going to go sweep the rest of the castle and check in on the pack. I’ll give you two a few minutes alone.” Then she left the room and turned into the corridor, letting the giant wooden door fall closed behind her.
Alone with Ash in a beautiful room that should’ve been filled with the ashes of our enemies. The Fire or Light or whatever it was had burned away everything. There wasn’t a single trace of evidence of what had occurred there that morning aside from broken furniture and shattered windows. Everything evil had burned away, leaving the beautiful room Andrew was supposed to be married in. Instead, he had met his end in this room, and I had been reborn.
“It really is beautiful here,” Ash whispered, and I turned to look at him. He was standing in front of the dais, now clean with a simple ceremonial bowl, also clean, sitting on top. He turned to face me, his face suspiciously peaceful.
“You know it should have been you up here that day. Not Claire. Henry should’ve been a good father, and you and Andrew should’ve gotten married. You should have been prepared to become the Guardian and done it without the threat of war on your doorstep. You should’ve been safe. And happy. I forgave my father for a lot of things, but I would never have forgiven him for taking that from you.”
“And what about you? You’d have just… What? Stood dutifully by and watched me marry Andrew? Skipped the wedding as planned?”
“That never would’ve mattered if you’d married Andrew. I would’ve continued to be his fuck-up of a brother, and you never would’ve known. Never would’ve cared.”
“Do you really think that’s true? Ash, I fell in love with Andrew because I felt whole when he was around me. When we went off to separate colleges, I still felt it but never to the same degree. I was just already in love with him. I thought he was my soulmate—or, rather, my only soulmate—until I met you. Well, until I knew I met you. I don’t know, maybe it’s possible to have more than one. All I know for certain is that I’d never felt around anyone the way I felt around Andrew until the day of the wedding, standing in that dressing room, trying not to stare at your naked ass.”
“Among other things,” Ash interjected, smiling weakly. But it was a hollow mask, one I could easily see through, and I couldn’t let him distract me now. He needed to hear this, and I needed to say it.
“Then I found out there was someone else there with us all that time. Ash, I don’t know how to make this any clearer to you. I didn’t even know you were there, and I could feel your presence. Looking back now, mated, I can pinpoint every moment you were with us, every moment I could feel that missing piece my soul was crying out for right next to me. Because you were there, Ash. You were there as I was becoming the woman you met at the wedding and every moment since as I’ve become the woman standing in front of you, now. It wasn’t just Andrew, and it’s not just Death, it’s you, Ash. It was always you. And until you accept that, I will be here, next to you, helping you become the man you’re destined to be just as you’ve done for me.”
He opened his mouth, no doubt to protest, but I held up a hand to stop him. “Nope, don’t say anything. You’ll ruin it and start a fight, or I will. I’m not asking. I’m telling. Accept it.”
He stared at me for a moment like he might give in, cross the room, bridge this growing distance between us, take me in his arms and make me his, but then he looked away, and the spell was broken. In that moment I feared he would never give in, that I would live for eternity, missing a piece of myself. It wasn’t like before, when I didn’t know how it felt to have him. I knew. We were mated. I would feel the painful, almost debilitating absence of the warmth of his embrace, his love, acutely every moment of my life.
Deciding to do the right thing isn’t often the same as doing the right thing. I had every intention of honoring my words, my promise to fight for him, but in that moment, maintaining my composure while doing so was just too much to ask of myself. Despite my resolve to fight on, the pain was too much, and I washed away in a flood of despair.
“Still nothing, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ll never fight for me. I’m in this fight alone. Guess I need to accept that.”
The pain began to overwhelm me, joined by anger, outrage, and uncontrollably human. I wanted to rage against the universe and the Entity for my suffering, but the universe was vast and the Entity unknown. Ash, on the other hand, was right in front of me, and a single tug on that painful string was enough. I came unraveled.
“I hate you,” I hissed. It escaped my mouth before I knew I was speaking, but there it was. Venomous, angry truth. Thin line, my ass. There was no separation between the love and the hatred I felt at that moment. They were Siamese twins, forever conjoined, loving each other, each surviving by the others blood.
Ash’s face fell, and I saw unspilled tears glisten in the corners of his eyes, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Just tell me why,” I demanded. “Why? Why won’t you fight for me?!” I screamed at him, my hands clutching so tightly in angry fists I could feel the trickle of blood from the wounds beneath my nails. “Fight for me! Fight for us! Hell, fight for yourself! Anything! Just fight!”
“I am fighting!” He roared so loudly the room shook. Ash crossed the room in a matter of strides, taking my face between his hands. My fists pounded against his chest, finally giving up as he kissed me desperately, almost painfully. My hands grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him to me, staining his shirt with my blood. My lips felt bruised already, but I didn’t want him to stop, didn’t want to face what might come after. I just wanted to stay there with him in my arms, in that moment when he belonged to me.
He pulled away all too soon, placing his forehead gently against mine. “This is me fighting for you. Fighting for you to have the life you deserve, with someone who deserves you. And I will not stop fighting until it’s a reality. I won’t. I will always fight for you.”
Ash released me, stepping around me toward the door, and I whispered, “But never by my side.” I heard him hesitate for a moment, then continue to the door as tears streamed down my face like a waterfall.
His dramatic exit was interrupted by Jade’s reappearance and words that will haunt my nightmares for eternity.
“Andrew’s body... It’s gone.”
30
Alex
The moment after those words left her lips felt like an eternity as we stared at Jade, our drama forgotten for the moment.
“What do you mean
gone?” we said simultaneously, glancing at one another then back to Jade.
“I don’t know. No one seems to. We had several people in and around the room. He was there one minute and the next... he was gone.”
“What does that mean? Did it work? Is he... What is he? I…” I braced my hands against my forehead and rubbed at my throbbing temples with my thumbs. “I don’t even know what questions to ask.”
I felt suddenly numb, and an icy certainty settled in my gut. “He’s not back. I would feel it. They couldn’t reach him. He safeguarded against this. I know he did. So, what does that leave?”
When Jade spoke next, she spoke slowly, carefully. “If it isn’t him, then that means something else, something really powerful, inhabited his body and either moved really fast, or just disappeared.”
“Oh, God.” I took a deep, even breath, trying to fight back the impending panic and the sick trying to evacuate my stomach. “I’m not even sure which option is worse.”
Another deep breath or two didn’t help to steady me at all, and a foreboding chill began slithering down my spine. Something was wearing Andrew, and there was zero chance that was a good thing.
“There’s nothing we can do about it right now,” I stated evenly. Jade and Ash both looked dumbstruck. “There isn’t. It’s horrible, but we don’t even know what to look for, and we’re weak and tired. We’ll deal with it when it becomes a problem. Right now, we have an entire tribe of people who need our help.” I walked out of the room, squeezing between them and continuing down the hall, still trying to keep the contents of my stomach down.
The surviving pack members were working in several of the rooms across the castle: tending to their injured in one, sequestering their dead to another, and preparing a third room for the anchoring ceremony. After a brief discussion, we learned they didn’t feel comfortable attaching the Veil to an unstable nephilim who also happened to be the Angel of Death. No one blamed them. Since Dark Nephilim weren’t allowed to be anchored either and we had no idea who my biological parents were, I was on the no-fly list as well.
As a temporary fix, Jade helped them anchor the Veil to the land, using her own magic and the magic of that place. Watching her chant over the Earth as her aura glowed a beautiful jade green was magical. I know, I know, literally, but I’d only seen Jade really show her power a few times, and all those had been tense, stressful, and combative. This was different. She was calm, the essence of serenity, peace, and life, and it seeped into everyone in the room around her. She was one with the Earth, her Earth, herself, and we were one with her.
My temporarily frosty heart thawed a bit in the warm glow of her magic, reminding me there was still joy and warmth to be found in this broken world, and I instinctively glanced sidelong at Ash. I could feel the Angel in there, my mate, or at least the part of him that actually wanted me. I wanted so badly to be angry with him, with both of them, but Ash’s arm brushed against mine, and I saw his entire body relax at the small contact. Seeing his uncontrollable reaction to me threatened to melt the rest of my icy heart.
The anchoring seemed to work for now, but it wouldn’t hold forever. The Veil was weak, damaged, and there were several Demons—and Henry Tennyn—out there actively trying to bring it down. The three Fallen had escaped, and who knew what they were up to.
And then there were the wolves.
Stefan was miraculously present after the fight. The last I’d seen of him was his unconscious form still on the floor during the demon battle. It seemed one of the hellhounds had pulled him clear when they’d taken Ash, and he had the teeth marks to prove it. When he stumbled out of the makeshift med. Clinic, he came directly to me, hit his knees, and begged for forgiveness and mercy. Henry had fed them lie after lie, and as their previous Anchor, they had trusted him without question. As had the three Henry had slaughtered. They had been deceived, stolen from us first by words and then by blade. They weren’t our enemies. They were victims the same as everyone else.
They had left early to report to Henry, having doubts about their mission after meeting me. Stefan too, had started to doubt the veracity of Henry’s claims when he’d seen his friends tied up in the room, but he hadn’t truly understood the depths of Henry’s betrayal until he’d slit their throats and drained their blood to raise his son from the dead. I told Stefan his forgiveness was not mine to give. He hadn’t betrayed me, so he would need to take it up with the wolves.
They were very forgiving considering most of them had been fooled by Henry as well. And Stefan swore his fealty to me, ensuring he would spread the word far and wide, which I begged him not to do.
We stayed for almost a week, helping the wolves recover and begin to rebuild after the attacks. There weren’t enough of them left to fill numerous towns anymore, and they felt better in a larger group for obvious reasons. So in lieu of rebuilding a town that had been razed to the ground by demons, Ash gave them permission to move into the castle. Jade helped them ward their new home against demons, and any being who meant them harm.
We offered to stay longer, but they were eager to regain some semblance of normalcy and didn’t feel they could do that with our nephilim, goddess, Death, and Guardian presences, so they thanked us, and we were on our way back home. We had to fly, as Jade’s powers had been significantly affected by the Veil damage. We hoped it was temporary, but only time would tell. Only time would tell a lot of things, so we packed the few things we’d brought with us and piled into a taxi headed for the airport.
31
Alex
Home. We were home. Well, sort of. Ash’s home, but it was quickly becoming all of ours. I seemed to have lost my fear of flying, so that was something, but I was still grateful to be on land after all the traveling. I dropped my bags on the bed in the guest room and breathed deeply of the fresh forest air. It smelled clean, like rain and earth and life.
“Hey! Don’t get too comfortable in there! I meant what I said! Training starts now! Get changed and let’s go!” Ash screamed from his bedroom across the house. I rolled my eyes, but was immediately met with, “I felt that! Do not roll your eyes at me. Dressed. Now!”
Ugh! This mating bond thing was getting a little annoying. I needed to learn how to block him, and fast.
“I felt that too.” I jumped at his voice in my doorway. “We can work on blocking later. It’s annoying but not life threatening. We can’t use our powers without getting so weak we lose them or pass out. We both need to be stronger, and you need to be capable of defending yourself without that angelic power just in case. You need to be lethal without ever calling on her, so... training.” He clapped his hands together twice to emphasize his urgency.
“Fine! I’m going, but I need to change, so… scoot.” A devious thought popped into my head, and a predatory smile crept across my face. “Or stay and watch,” I purred lustily as I toyed with the hem of my t-shirt.
Ash hadn’t given an inch, and I hadn’t seen a single sign of Death since the fight night at Tennyn Castle, but I’d made my own decisions. He was being ridiculous. So as promised, I would make no demands of him, give him no ultimatums and train with him daily to strengthen our ability to use our magic, but I didn’t have to make it easy on him. I never promised that. Ash wanted space and time. I wanted my mate, and I was not willing to let him go without a fight.
“Alex,” Ash warned dangerously, “we talked about this.”
“No, you talked, and I listened. Now I’m talking.” I sauntered up to him, pressing my chest lightly against his. “If you think I’m not going to make this as hard on you as possible, and I mean that in every… sense… of the word… you’ve got another thing coming,” I purred as seductively as I could, while pressing myself into him just a bit more, encouraged by his lack of rejection. “Sooner or later, Ash, I’m going to make you beg. And you’re going to love every second of it.”
He flipped us around so that I was against the door frame, his arms creating a cage around me as he leaned into my neck, sendin
g tingles flitting across my skin. He ran the tip of his nose from my collarbone to my jaw, pausing when his lips were a hair’s breadth away from mine, and my breath caught in my throat.
“I can’t give you what you want, and for that reason, I won’t always be around to save you. So get dressed, and meet me outside. It’s time to train.” He turned and strode from the room, then I heard the crunch of glass as he exited through the shattered glass doors, and I deflated, shaking out the tension from my body. The intensity of the exchange had left me a bit weak-kneed, but I did as he asked. I’d seen his eyes flame for just a second, only a spark really but it gave me hope.
Jade met me outside in her gear. She’d been weakened by the damage the Veil had sustained. All the death and Darkness and Shadows were having a lasting effect on her, so we were all going to be required to train. Of course, Jade had always had a little issue following rules.
“Let’s go!” Ash screamed from across the lawn, and we both sighed audibly.
“He’s awfully… inspired today. Something happen between you two?”
“No. Not for lack of trying though. He’s sticking to his guns, but I’m not going down without a fight.”
“Oh, I bet you’ll go down without too much of a struggle.” She laughed as my eyes popped open, and I couldn’t help but smile as I smacked her arm, and she laughed again. “He might put up a bit of a fight, but luckily you’re stronger than he is now,” she said with a wink.
I nodded and sighed, still chuckling. “You ready for this?” I asked.
Jade turned to me with a hint of a smile. “Honey, it’s Ash that needs to be ready for me.”
I eyed her suspiciously, and when she batted her eyes at me innocently, I cocked my head to one side and said, “Jade…”
“What?” She shrugged.
“He said no magic.”
“Ash says a lot of things, sweetie.” She lifted her eyes to the trainer in question before I could respond and yelled, “Hey, are we training or what?”
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