by Barbara Goss
“We did good, Elsa. We made a beautiful baby together,” Rance told her as they watched Anna sleeping.
“Maybe next will be your boy,” she said.
“No! No more babies. I couldn’t go through that again,” Rance said firmly.
Elsa waved his comment away with her hand. “Doctor said the next time the baby could be head first.”
“Could be.”
Elsa reached up and fondled his face. “No love making, then?”
“Of course there will be. Lot’s of it. But I know of a way to prevent another baby.”
“How?” she asked.
“You’ll see.” He winked and kissed her cheek.
Within a week, Elsa was up and around, but she still had that cloud over her about the baby's name. She refused to call the baby by the name, referring to her as "the baby."
She was sitting in the rocking chair in their room, having just finished feeding the baby, when Rance walked in.
“Am I in time for burp duty?” he asked cheerfully.
“Yes,” Elsa said, handing the baby to her husband.
He sat on the edge of the bed, put the baby over his shoulder, and gently patted her back. When he heard a loud burp, he said, “Good job, Anna.”
Elsa tried not to frown.
He laid the baby down in the cradle and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well, Anna,” he said. He turned and pulled Elsa up by her hands and embraced her. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” was all she said.
“Something’s wrong,” Rance said. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“It’s nothing.”
“I’m going to get the doctor, then. You aren’t your usual self,” Rance said.
She waved his concern away with her hand. “I’m fine.”
He studied her face, so she gave him a smile, though she knew wasn’t her best.
Rance kissed her lips tenderly. “You miss our lovemaking, that’s it, isn't it? Well, the doctor told me that after two months we can—”
“No, it’s not that,” Elsa said. “I’m much too sore to even think of lovemaking. I’m just feeling tired, is all.”
He hugged her to him. “Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll pull the curtains shut.” He went to the windows, closed the curtains, and passed the cradle on the way back to her. “Anna’s asleep already,” he whispered.
“She’s a good baby,” Elsa said.
“I’ve got some things to do, but I’ll check on you later.” He kissed her again and led her to the bed. “Have a good nap.”
Elsa wept a bit; she felt drained, sad, and so tired. She fell asleep after her cry.
Rance rode into town and went directly to the doctor’s house. Dr. Bullock welcomed him warmly. “How’s that beautiful daughter of yours doing?”
“Great, thanks to you.
“I’ve brought you a gift. He’s tied outside, next to my horse. It’s an appaloosa, saddle trained, and ready to ride.”
“Thank you! My nag is getting old and I can’t get around as fast as I once could. This’ll be a big help to me and my practice,” Bullock said.
“How’s your wife doing?”
“That’s another reason I stopped by. Elsa seems all right, health-wise, but she’s melancholy, and while she says there's nothing wrong, I know that she cries when I’m not around, and I'm worried,” Rance said.
“That’s not uncommon, Rance.” Bullock slapped his back. “Having a baby's is a drain on the hormones. Many women get a bit weepy for no reason at all. Just continue to be solicitous and understanding and it will pass.”
“How long will it last?” Rance asked.
“It’s different with every woman, and some never get it at all.” Bullock opened the door. “Now, let me take a look at my new horse.”
Rance did some work in the stables when he returned home, and then he went inside to check on Elsa and Anna. He entered the bedroom and saw his wife lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. He peeked in on Anna and saw that she was sound asleep. He lay down beside Elsa and put his arm around her.
“Hello, wife. What are you thinking about?”
“I don’t know,” she said, and then burst into tears.
Rance pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. “Elsa, what’s wrong?”
She sniffled and pulled away to wipe her tears and nose with her handkerchief. She looked up at him with teary eyes and said, “Who is Anna?”
Chapter 18
Rance was stunned. “She’s our daughter. Are you sure you’re all right, sweetheart?”
“Not that Anna. Who is the Anna you called out to in your sleep after you were shot? Who is she?”
“Anna was my baby sister. She drowned when she was five-years-old.”
Elsa looked up at him with surprise. “Not old lover?”
“No. I have no old lovers,” Rance said with a chuckle. “You are my first and my last.”
Elsa fell back onto her pillow and smiled. “Das ist gut.”
“It’s very good. Did you really think I’d name our precious, beautiful daughter after an old lover?” Rance asked, stifling the urge to laugh, knowing how serious this must seem to her.
She nodded tearfully.
He moved closer to her and he lifted her chin with his hand. “I love only you, Elsa.”
Elsa’s eyes closed as if in relief. She embraced him tightly.
“Is that why you never called Anna by her name but always called her, ‘the baby’?” he asked.
She nodded again, and then pulled away slightly in order to look at him. “I don’t know all the English words to use, but you gave me no choice of name.”
Rance hit his head with his hand. “Oh.” He looked his wife in the eyes and said, “I’m so sorry! I was so excited and overwrought with all that happened, it never dawned on me to ask if you approved of the name.” He kissed her red nose.
“I'll tell you a story, Elsa. Listen to the story and then, if you want, we can change the baby’s name. The birth hasn’t been registered yet.
"When I was ten and Peter was eight, we went fishing in the Smoky Hill River near our home. Anna begged to come along, but we refused to take her. She cried so hard that we both gave in and said she could come, but said she’d have to be very quiet, since we didn’t want her scaring the fish. So we fished and fished, and she played in the mud nearby. She was so quiet, we forgot all about her until we heard the splash.
"The current was swift that day, and while both Peter and I jumped in after her, neither of us were good swimmers. The water was deep right off the shore, and though we tried to reach her, we couldn’t. All we could do was to watch her little head as it bobbed up and down, and then it stayed down. By then, of course, Peter and I were frantic. I was first to reach her and I carried her out laid her down on the bank, but it was too late; she was gone. I still have nightmares about that day. Both Peter and I felt to blame, and rightfully so. We should have watched her more closely. I vowed that if I ever had a daughter, I’d name her Anna and I’d keep her away from water until she learned how to swim.”
“Oh, no!” Elsa exclaimed. “Yes, our baby will keep her name. How sad your story is.”
“It’s something that will never leave me. I keep seeing it and asking myself what I could have done differently. Thankfully, our parents never blamed us or made us to feel responsible, but they were heartbroken over the loss. I have two older sisters, Mary and Ellen, who are married and living in different states, but Anna has been in my heart since that day.”
“You and Peter were too young. It wasn’t your fault, for you were babies yourselves.”
“Nevertheless, I promise to take good care of this Anna.”
“Our Anna,” Elsa said. “I’m sorry and sad about your first Anna, but at the same time, I am happy it wasn’t an old lover.”
“Come here, silly wife,” he said, and hugged her to him.
Elsa undressed while he lay in the bed, watching. He couldn’t believe she wasn’t shy anymore
. “You’re beautiful!” he exclaimed before she slid into her nightgown.
She waved his words off. “After having everyone see me having a baby, I no longer feel the need to hide.” She grinned. “After having a body like an elephant for so long, I’m unashamed to show it now.”
“You have a lovely body, and I’m pleased to know that it’s all mine,” he said with a wink.
She crawled into bed beside him, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him. “Your body isn’t so bad, either,” she whispered.
“Hmm,” he pulled her closer. “How long has it been since Anna was born?”
“Only two weeks, husband. You must wait.”
He kissed her forehead and her nose. “Just let me hold you, then.”
“I want to one day give you a son,” she said.
“No. Don’t make me risk losing you again, Elsa. I was forced into marrying you, but now I don’t think I could carry on if I lost you,” he said, pulling her closer still.
“I am willing to take that chance to give you a son who will one day inherit this ranch and carry on the Balcomb name,” she said, kissing his neck.
“I’ll love a son, but not at the expense of losing you.”
“What was it you told me earlier, tonight, in our study? Trust in the Lord with all your heart?”
Rance pulled away from her and lay on his back with his arms behind his head. “Yes, but it isn’t easy watching the one you love suffer and in such enormous pain, and then almost bleed to death.”
“Nothing worth having or doing is easy, husband.”
“I’ll pray about it. We don’t have to decide this now.”
Elsa laid her head on his chest. “I pray we'll always love each other as much as we do right now,” she said.
“No, it won’t stay like this,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
“No?” her head popped up to look at him in the moonlight, from the window.
“No, it will grow.”
More?” she asked,
“I know it sounds impossible, but that’s what my father told me after my mother died. He took her death hard, and he told me he’d always loved her, but as the years passed, he loved her more, and it was a deeper, more personal love than he’d had for her years ago. He said they became as one. She’d finish his sentences, and he could tell by the sound of her voice or an expression what it was that she wanted or needed. That’s how love grows.”
“And so, we still have much to look forward to, husband,” she said, resting her head on his chest again.
“It’s amazing when you think about it. We were strangers when we first met, and now my life depends on yours,” he said. “And we've made a beautiful daughter together. God had to have had His hand in all of this. It’s just too unreal the way it all happened.”
“Shall we tell the story to our grandchildren, husband?” Elsa asked.
He laughed. “They wouldn’t believe it if we did.”
Epilogue
Two years after Anna was born, Elsa gave birth to Rance Balcomb, Jr., nicknamed Randy. Three years later, Edward was born, then Audra, and then Samuel. All the births were normal and Elsa did just fine.
Just as Rance had told her, their love grew stronger and deeper.
Rance loved being a father and he made sure he spent time with his children and showed them plenty of love.
Wade became his brother-in-law by marrying Marta when Anna was a year old. They lived just a quarter mile down the road from Elsa and Rance.
Clara fawned over all of them and finally felt as though she’d found a family that felt like her own. The children called her Aunt Clara, and she smiled each time she heard it.
THE END