The Case of the Quizzical Queens Beagle

by B R Snow

  “Yeah, I got him pretty good,” I said. “And when you said somebody was dead, I just assumed you were talking about Claude.” I forced a quick smile at him. “Whew. What a relief, huh?”

  “Do you know how lucky you are that you didn’t kill him?” the Chief said, glaring at me.

  “Probably not as lucky as Claude,” I said, going for lighthearted and missing by a mile.

  “You’re unbelievable.”

  “Yeah, definitely not one of my better moments,” I said, then stared at him. “So, who’s dead?”

  “The old man,” the Chief said.

  “Mr. Pontilly’s dead?”

  “He is.”

  “Do you know how he died?”

  “No. I got a call about an hour ago, then headed down there and called Freddie. He’s at the circus right now doing his thing. And I need to get back.”

  “So, why did you stop by here?” I said, frowning.

  “Actually, I was looking for your mother to see how she wants to handle getting the word out about tonight’s show being canceled.”

  “I think she and Paulie were talking about going to Montreal to do some shopping. She’s not answering her phone?”

  “No, straight to voicemail,” he said.

  “She’s been working pretty closely with Jackson on this one,” I said. “We can swing by the store on our way. He’ll probably know who to talk to.”

  “We?”

  “Hey, it’s just starting to get interesting. You can’t cut me out now, Chief.”

  “Watch me,” he said, laughing. “Besides, I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to be around Claude. I imagine he’s not very happy with you at the moment.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said. “And stuck to you like glue the whole time.”

  “So, now you want my help.”

  “Hey, to protect and serve, Chief,” I said, gently punching his shoulder. “Protect and serve.”

  Chapter 24

  We walked past several stunned circus workers who were chatting quietly in various locations around the main tent. The performers were already in costume, and I spotted Bubs and Chuckles smoking cigarettes and toeing the dirt with their enormous clown feet. I followed the Chief through the curtains, and we found Freddie in the wardrobe room standing over Mr. Pontilly’s body and talking with Detective Williams from the state police. The detective and I had crossed swords several times in the past, mostly over what he considered my inability to stop sticking my nose where it didn’t belong. Over time, we’d been able to make peace and remain on relatively good terms, but when he spotted me, he frowned and looked at Chief Abrams.

  “What’s she doing here?” Detective Williams said to the Chief.

  “Nice to see you too, Detective,” I said, making a face at him. “I thought you’d want to talk to me.”

  “Why would I want to do that?” he said, frowning.

  “I was probably one of the last people to see him alive,” I said, casually tossing it out. “But if you don’t want to ask me any questions, that’s fine.”

  “You saw him today?”

  “Nothing gets past you.”

  “Don’t start,” the Chief said, then glanced at Freddie who was kneeling down and examining the body. “What do you think?”

  “Well, I don’t see any wounds or bruises on him,” Freddie said, carefully rebuttoning Pontilly’s shirt. “My first guess is a heart attack. The guy had to be close to ninety.”

  “He seemed fine when I left today,” I said, even though no one had asked for my input. “Maybe a little stressed.”

  “Stressed about what?” Detective Williams said.

  “His circus was falling apart,” I said. “He’d just lost his most popular act, and I think the wild animal acts are on their last legs.”

  “No, they’re not,” Claude said, entering the wardrobe room already dressed for the performance. The red suit with long tails looked ridiculous, but I had to concede that the black eye patch definitely added a touch of mystery to his outfit. He glared at me and pointed a finger as he glanced back and forth at Detective Williams and the Chief. “I want to press assault charges against this woman.”

  “Go right ahead, Claude,” I snapped. “And I’ll be filing animal cruelty charges right back at you. As well as showing every media outlet I can think of some interesting photos and videos of you torturing those innocent creatures.”

  Master Claude flinched, shut his mouth, but continued to glare at me. I held my ground and returned his angry stare with one of my own.

  “Okay, let’s take a step back,” Detective Williams said, turning to Claude. “You say she assaulted you?”

  “Yeah, she stuck me an electric cattle prod,” he said. “And I have a feeling she also did the same thing when we were doing a show in Brockville.”

  The Chief stared at me, but I looked away and rocked back and forth on my heels.

  “Suzy?” the Chief said. “What’s he talking about?”

  “I have no idea,” I said to the wall. “He’s obviously deranged.”

  “You want deranged? I’ll show you deranged,” Claude said, lunging for me.

  The Chief inserted himself between us and shoved Claude back a few steps.

  “You see what I mean?” I said, nodding at Claude. “Now, imagine that anger turned loose on defenseless animals.”

  “Did she do that to your eye?” Detective Williams said, staring at the eye patch.

  “No,” Claude said. “An elephant shot me with a peanut.”

  “Okay,” Detective Williams said, confused. He glanced around before settling on me. “You stuck him with a cattle prod?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Why on earth would you do that?”

  “He was squirting water in the elephant’s eye,” I said. “Not to mention using the cattle prod on the poor thing. And a bullhook behind her ears. He also keeps the elephant chained up at least twenty hours a day.”

  “What should I be doing with it?” Claude said, bewildered. “Taking it for walks?”

  “You shouldn’t be doing anything with it,” I said. “You shouldn’t be allowed within a hundred yards of any animal.”

  I stared down at the ground and mumbled my way through an impressive string of whispered expletives.

  “What did you call me?” Master Claude said, again taking a step toward me.

  “You heard me,” I said.

  “Uh, if you folks wouldn’t mind toning it down a bit,” Freddie said. “I’ve got a dead body here I’m trying to deal with.”

  “Sorry, Freddie,” I whispered, then snuck another glare at Claude.

  “You still want to press charges?” Detective Williams said to him.

  “Go right ahead, Master Claude,” I snapped. “I’d love the chance to have this conversation in front of a jury.”

  Claude looked off into the distance for several seconds, then turned to Detective Williams.

  “I’m going to need to give it some more thought,” Claude said.

  “I knew it. You’re a frigging coward,” I said, taunting him. “You’re such a big man, Claude. Torturing defenseless creatures who can’t fight back. You’re nothing but a bottom feeding scum-bucket.”

  Then Master Claude managed to work his way around Chief Abrams and decked me with a punch that caught me flush on the jaw. I fell backward and landed hard. In my dazed state, I heard what sounded like the crack of wood hitting bone that was followed by loud grunts and groans. I heard muffled voices and tried to clear my head. Flat on my back, I blinked several times up at the ceiling and waited for the cobwebs to clear. Through blurred vision, I watched Chief Abrams slide his nightstick back into its holder, then he helped me sit up. I gently rubbed my jaw, and when my eyes focused, I spotted Claude handcuffed to Detective Williams’ wrist. With his free hand, he was rubbing a large knot on his forehead. His anger was gone, apparently replaced by fear and confusion.

  “You need to dial it down, Chief,” the detective said.
>
  “Hold him steady so I can hit him again,” the Chief said, his voice low and threatening.

  “Dial it down,” Detective Williams whispered.

  “Did you hit Samantha like that before you tossed her off the boat?” I said.

  “What?” Claude said.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Claude,” I said, staggering as I climbed to my feet and felt the onset of a massive headache. “Did you come up with the idea all by yourself, or was it something you and Pontilly concocted as the best way to shut her up?”

  “What are you talking about?” Claude said, giving me a wide-eyed stare. “I’d never hurt Sammy.”

  “Save it for your lawyer, Claude,” I said, but was surprised by his reaction to my accusation. All of a sudden, I was less than certain about his involvement in her murder. But I still couldn’t get past my utter contempt for the man wearing the ridiculous suit of tails. “Scumbag.”

  “All right,” Detective Williams said, officially out of patience. “I have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment. What do you two want to do?”

  I massaged my jaw as I stared at Claude and waited for his response.

  “Well,” Claude said, starting slowly and continuing to rub the knot on his head. “Given everything that’s gone on today, and out of respect for Mr. Pontilly, I suppose I can let it go if she can.”

  “Let it go? You punched me in the face,” I snapped.

  “And you shot me with a cattle prod,” Claude said, returning fire. “Twice.”

  “Prove it,” I said, then tasted blood. “Not to mention everything you’re doing to those poor animals.”

  “Lady, I’m just trying to do my job.”

  “Job,” I said with a snort. “You call that a job?”

  “Chief,” Detective Williams said, shaking his head. “The next time you’re thinking about letting her tag along at a crime scene, do both of us a favor and don’t.”

  “Yeah, I really need to start working on that,” the Chief said, staring at me.

  “Funny,” I said, scowling at him. “Good one, Chief.”

  “What do you want to do, Suzy? We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

  “I suppose I can let it go,” I said. “For now.”

  “Suzy,” the Chief said, now glaring at me.

  “Okay, fine. You can cut him loose. I won’t be pressing charges.”

  “Finally,” Detective Williams said, removing the handcuffs. “A glimmer of common sense looms on the horizon.”

  “Don’t try to wax poetic, Detective,” I said, still fuming. “It’s not your style.”

  Master Claude rubbed his wrist, then took a final look at Mr. Pontilly who was stretched out on the ground with a fixed look of surprise on his face.

  “I’ll need you to stick around, Claude,” Detective Williams. “We’ll be questioning everyone at some point tonight.”

  Claude nodded, shot me a final dirty look, then left the wardrobe room. I continued to massage my jaw as I glanced down at Freddie who was still examining the body.

  “I can’t believe he punched you,” the Chief said. “He’s lucky I didn’t get a chance to really work on him with my nightstick.”

  “It’s about what I’d expect from someone like him,” I said. “But I have to say, it was a good punch.”

  “I wish you would have pressed charges,” the Chief said.

  “It’s not too late,” Detective Williams said, studying me.

  “I pushed him pretty hard,” I said.

  “Still, he was way out of bounds,” Detective Williams said. “That’s a line you don’t cross.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said, deep in thought. “I was sure I could goad him into confessing that he threw her off the boat. But after I saw his reaction, I’m not so sure he did it.”

  “He did seem surprised when you confronted him with it,” Chief Abrams said.

  “Yeah, he certainly did,” Detective Williams said.

  “Maybe you could do a little digging around when you interview all of them later,” I said. “Someone might let something slip.”

  “You’re convinced she was thrown off the boat?” the detective said.

  “I am. But if it wasn’t Master Claude, who the heck was it?”

  “Oh, this is interesting,” Freddie said, glancing up at us.

  “What have you got?” Detective Williams said.

  “Take a look,” Freddie said, lifting one of the old man’s shoulders off the ground and turning the head to one side. He pointed at a spot behind Pontilly’s ear. “I might be mistaken, but I doubt it.”

  “It looks like a needlestick,” the Chief said, kneeling down for a closer look.

  “That’s definitely what it is,” the detective said, shining a pen flashlight on the tiny wound. “I guess that changes our approach to the interviews, Chief.”

  “Yeah, it sure does. And we should probably get started,” he said. “Where do you want to do them?”

  “If they decide to start breaking down the tents, it’s going to be too loud to do them in here. Let’s herd everyone outside to where they’ve got all the picnic tables set up. I’ll have my guys ring the area to keep an eye on things just in case anybody decides to try and slip away.”

  “Yeah, that’ll work,” the Chief said. “Have you got that list of employees?”

  “I do,” he said, handing the list over. “If you can start getting everybody outside, I’ll get my guys organized.”

  “You got it,” the Chief said, then looked over at me. “And since this is now officially a murder scene, you need to get out of here. Why don’t you head on home and get some ice on that jaw?”

  I gave him a quick salute that turned into a wave. Both cops left the wardrobe room, and I was left alone with Freddie.

  “You sure you’re okay?” he said. “That was quite a shot you took.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, nodding at the body. “What do you think they shot him up with?”

  “It could have been anything,” Freddie said with a shrug. “A hit of poison. Maybe some sort of amphetamine that caused his heart to race and eventually give out. Or a massive dose of a depressant.”

  “Like the stuff that’s in sleeping pills?”

  “Sure, it’s possible.”

  “Or elephant tranquilizer?” I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

  Chapter 25

  Deciding not to press my luck, I followed Chief Abram’s instructions and left the main tent. The Chief and Detective Williams, surrounded by a half-dozen state policemen, had already begun their interviews, and despite the considerable amount of pain I was in, I had to laugh when I stopped to watch the bizarre scene of various circus performers sitting across from the cops answering questions in full costume. I spent a few minutes admiring the gorgeous sunset then drove home slowly, occasionally checking the bruise on the side of my face in the rear-view mirror. I headed up the driveway just as Josie was leaving the Inn through the back door.

  “Hey,” Josie called out.

  “You’re just finishing for the day?”

  “Yeah, Marjorie Wilson’s spaniel decided it was a good idea to play chasey with a porcupine,” she said, shaking her head. “I spent the last hour and a half pulling quills out of him.”

  “The poor guy,” I said, frowning. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “Yeah, he’ll be fine,” she said. “But I’m definitely ready for a glass of wine. It’s been a long day.”

  “No argument from me,” I said.

  “You’re back from the circus already?”

  “No,” I said, opening the kitchen door. “The show was canceled tonight.”

  “Canceled?” she said with a frown as we entered the brightly lit kitchen. “What on earth happened to your face?”

  “Master Claude went full Tyson on me,” I said, cocking my head to give her a better look.

  “What?” she said, enraged. “He punched you?”

  “Yeah, and it was a good sho
t,” I said, rubbing my jaw.

  “I hope he’s rotting in jail at the moment,” she said, gently reaching out to examine the bruise. “Geez, he got you good. You didn’t lose any teeth, did you?”

  “No, just most of my dignity,” I said, grinning. “But I’m not pressing charges.”

  “Are you nuts? Why not?”

  “I figure I’m still ahead,” I said, pouring two glasses of wine and handing her one. “Two jolts from a cattle prod versus one punch.”

  “Two?” Josie said, taking a sip then heading for the living room.

  I followed her and sat down on the couch. I took a sip then set my glass down.

  “Where are the dogs?” I said, glancing around.

  “Chef Claire stopped by the Inn earlier and said she was taking them for a walk,” Josie said.

  “She’s a brave woman,” I said.

  “You said two times,” Josie said. “What am I missing?”

  “I had another encounter with him this afternoon,” I said. “He started squirting a hose in the elephant’s eyes. So, I nailed him with the cattle prod again.”

  “Then he punched you?” Josie said.

  “No, he hit me when we were in the wardrobe room while Freddie was examining Pontilly’s body.”

  Josie stared at me in disbelief then shook her head.

  “You really need to work on your storytelling abilities,” she said. “Let’s back up several steps.”

  I spent a few minutes telling her the story then focused on my wine while she digested what I’d told her.

  “So, somebody murdered Pontilly, but you don’t think Master Race Claude had anything to do with it?”

  “No, I don’t,” I said. “Pontilly was Claude’s lifeline. Without him, the circus is probably going to go under, and there goes Claude’s job. And for his sake, I hope he’s eligible for unemployment because I’m going to make it my personal mission that no circus goes within a hundred miles of him.”

  “There’s my girl,” Josie said, laughing. “And you’re not sure that Claude had anything to do with Samantha and Queen B. going off the boat?”

  “Not anymore,” I said, frowning. “I was sure he’d done it. But when I confronted him, it was impossible to miss his reaction. He seemed genuinely surprised, even offended, that I could accuse him of doing that.”