As if she needed one.
Since she had yet to figure out the dynamics of whatever she had with Will, she always went to the stone house. She was sure Will would have left the stone house and come to the townhouse, but she preferred even the minimal distance. With Clay next door, they never could have had true privacy at her apartment.
It was confusing at first because they couldn’t get enough of each other’s company, but she didn’t know what she was to him.
Is he familiar with the concept of ‘girlfriend’?
The absence of public displays of affection perplexed her. When they were alone, Will was to her what lighter fluid was to a campfire. And she guessed he was either a shy loner in public, or grudged and ashamed from the biases of Churchston. With his blunt attitude, she bet he was plain sick of the drama. She understood and accepted it. It was who he was, but at the same time, it lowered her self-worth, as though she was a naughty secret sex toy he had to hide.
He had his own issues to deal with, but she didn’t understand why it had to feel like a game of hide and seek. She didn’t care if everyone in the country knew she was with Will.
Later that week, they both stopped to get gas at the station at the end of Main. At the sight of him, she couldn’t hide her smile. He acknowledged her with a brief glance. The lines of his forehead deepened the scowl and he avoided her eyes. His cold shoulder stung, but as the gas station door opened and Delores exited, Kelly had her answer.
Delores strode for her car to fill up. She shot Will a sneer. As she opened her gas tank flap, she turned to Kelly and distorted her lips as though she had stepped in fecal matter.
Kelly leaned back against her SUV to wait for her gas tank to fill. She flipped Delores the finger.
Will walked over after he finished filling up his bike. Without a word, without a glance at her, he reached in to unlock the hood and lifted it. He set his hands on the edge and looked at her engine, not her face. “Baby, I don’t want her to know.”
Baby? I qualify for an endearment?
She stood next to him and checked under the hood, confused if he was even looking at anything or pretending. “Know what?”
“You and me. She’s—” He cracked his neck. “She’s evil. If she knows how much you matter to me, she’ll use you to hurt me. To hurt us.”
Kelly bit her lip. “You think I’m such of an idiot or a coward to let her—”
“I don’t want her to ruin anything. She’s wanted to ruin everything that’s ever mattered to me. She tried every day to make Matt hate me. To keep him from being my friend. She doesn’t want me ever to be happy. And you make me happy. I don’t want her to know.”
Kelly was both elated and peeved. I matter! I make him happy! So who cares about her? “I get it. You hate her guts. I don’t blame you for avoiding her. But this is ridiculous. She can’t control your life, and she sure as hell can’t control mine. She could never manipulate me to hurt you—”
“You matter too much to me.”
“So I’m the closet—I’m your—” Kelly’s voice faded. His what?
“You’re the reason I want to wake up every morning.”
She crossed her arms to suppress the urge to turn and hug him. “Let me get this straight. We matter to each other. We make each other happy. And you want to hide because of her.”
He faced her. “Please do this for me.”
“But it’s unnecessary. Consider me impervious. There is no way on Earth she could change the way I feel about you. Look, I’ll go over to her mansion right now. I’ll show my foot to her—”
“If she can’t change the way you feel about me then it shouldn’t matter if we keep what we have to ourselves.” He paused with a small smile. “You told me to cut my losses, remember? I can. And I have. She doesn’t have a spot in my life, but you do. And she will only try to ruin it. I know how she operates.”
Kelly studied the serious pleading in his eyes. She lowered her arms and opened her mouth to argue, but he continued.
“I was going to graduate second of my class. Matt was ahead by one exam. He knew I needed top scores to get a scholarship for tech college. So he flunked his final. I know he did. And she did too. She gave the president of the college a check for half a million. Matt said she claimed it was for an addition to the auditorium, but he’d found her emails stating the money was only good if I didn’t attend. If I was rejected from the program.”
“I’ve got nothing, Will. She can’t touch me. I’m not malleable—”
“She already tried.”
“How?”
He sighed. “Right after the day she saw us on the beach. When you tripped me on the sidewalk. And we found Junior with the snake bite. You gave him an EpiPen. Eric came by the garage afterward, trying to get me to sign a statement that I saw you give him a drug without parental consent. Some bullshit about how you had been fired from your last job, must have lost your license, and you were abusing power giving him a shot—”
“An EpiPen can be bought by anyone! Online! How could I be abusing my power? I don’t have any power. I’m not a nurse. I’m not hired to provide medical care. You and I were bystanders. And since I do still have an active nursing license, I am bound by Hippocratic Oath to—”
“See what I mean?”
Kelly caught her breath.
“It’s how she works. She’s a sick twisted woman.”
“She’s going to regret messing with me.”
“Forget it, Kelly. I’m making a point. Eric’s always been her pawn. I called Fred to get him out of my garage. He came by and tore up the papers. In the meantime, Clay must have called Roger about the commotion and he came to the shop, threatening Eric with a lawsuit about police brutality. No one blames you for anything you did.”
“I don’t care. I know I’m innocent and it’s all that matters. But I’ll be damned if she thinks she can—” Kelly gasped. “You asked me if I have any enemies in town. Do you think she could have cut the wires on my car?”
“I doubt it. Not her style. She’s more focused on power. Psychological warfare.”
“She could have sent Eric to do it.”
Will shook his head. “Even with the help of the Internet, he couldn’t have figured it out.”
“Little bitch—”
“Don’t worry about her. I won’t let her hurt you. But do you get my point? Our time together is our time. But around everyone else… I don’t want to risk anything. They’ll always think I’m the black sheep. I’ve been condemned and criticized since I was a kid. I can take it, but I don’t want anything to taint you. Or what we have.”
What do we have?
The conversation struck a juvenile chord. It wasn’t as though she had to brand him hers, announce it to the world. W.P and K.N. scratched into tree bark. For all the time she had been worrying about what she had with Will, she had forgotten to appreciate it for what it was. After John, she had been label-less. No man to define who she was any longer. And now here she was, trying to define what she could be to Will. “I don’t like it, but it’s doable.”
They remained there for a moment. His knuckles whitened at his grip on the SUV’s frame.
“You okay?”
He sighed. “You’re still wearing your bikini under that scrap of shirt.”
She checked. Oh, yeah. Nipples. She hugged her arms over her chest. “You’re such a man.”
He almost smiled then concentrated as he shut the hood gently. “No, I’m your man. You still need a serpentine belt.”
“Hmmm. Looks like I’ll have to find a mechanic around here.”
Chapter 33
Will was relieved Kelly hadn’t been annoyed or hurt by his wish to keep their relationship under wraps.
He dropped the oil filter.
Relationship.
The noun was alien to his vocabulary and it weighed heavily in his mind.
Is that what this is?
He’d had friendships with Matt and the guys, but he had never had
a ‘relationship’ with a woman. He’d been under the lifelong assumption they had been created to correspond to a penis. But he couldn’t imagine not being with Kelly, even in the moments where they didn’t have their hands on each other.
Relationship?
It was surreal to roll the word on his tongue and he shook his head to try to concentrate on work.
If it wasn’t a relationship by dictionary terms, every day with her was a grand and novel adventure. There were many firsts. She had started to teach him how to cook—baking still seemed too feminine, but the results had been good. He had showered with her, another new experience. He taught her how to change her brake pads.
She had discovered a way to massage his knee and it felt like the best therapy he ever had.
He learned how to tickle her in the right spot.
She had explained to him, albeit it felt like a lecture, how goose bumps were formed.
He had beaten her at Scrabble more than half the times they played.
Will had never relaxed on the couch and watched a whole baseball game with a woman next to him, without having to explain anything. He’d never had a woman sit on his lap and do a crossword puzzle while he watched the sun set from the back deck with a cold beer. He’d never had a woman watch him lift weights on the back patio, and he’d never seen a woman twist and bend in that crap they call yoga.
Sometimes, the memories of little things were better than the intimacy he bottled up, waiting for the workday to be over. It was damned hard to hide smiles in public. He had been grinning so much he was certain it was screwing with his face. It was a peeving instinct to bite his lip to hide it at the very thought of her name.
He suspected Clay and Randy might have caught on. Sometimes he caught them watching him with measuring stares. They were smart enough not to say anything or ask, and Will appreciated how his pals could give him space to figure it out.
And if they weren’t giving him space, they were probably speechless. He’d never had a girlfriend before.
Whoa. She’s a girlfriend, then?
He didn’t see why she had to be something. She was just her. She was natural to him, natural with him. No nagging fussing or irrational demanding. They were so mutually stubborn it felt like a perfect fit. He’d never known that down-to-earth women lived on the planet.
“You’re sleeping with Kendra, too?” Daisy screamed in the background of the garage, jolting Will from his thoughts.
It wore him out, doing all the work while they waited for Clay’s cast to come off. If Clay had been able-bodied to do his job, there would have been less downtime for all his bedmates to chat and linger at the garage.
“We never said we’d be exclusive. You keep hanging out with Brent.”
“What! Are you saying I’m a slut?”
Will shook his head under the car. Common knowledge, Daisy.
“Don’t get hung up about it.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been fucking Kendra behind my back!”
“What!”
“She said you were being aggressive. You wouldn’t stop begging her to come over and—”
“She came on to me like a bitch in heat. We only fooled around a couple times a few weeks ago.”
Will slid out from under the car and went into the store room for the right filter. The front door slammed in Daisy’s wake.
At least I managed to find a woman who doesn’t recycle.
The oil filter slipped to the ground.
A monogamous relationship? Girlfriend?
He wiped at his face and scolded himself to slow down. There was no point to count the chickens before the eggs hatched, because for all he knew, she could leave him. Like everyone else had.
Chapter 34
With each day, she fell more and more in love with him, with every little detail. It was like a speeding car pursuit she had no control over. But the hiding nature of their relationship started to feel less like a thrilling forbidden love, and more like pathetic cowardice. It grated on her nerves, and she wasn’t the only one getting cranky. There were moments where he seemed irritable and annoyed when she’d finally get to see him after work at the bowling alley. Quieter, subdued, more sensitive. The walls they had torn down seemed to be building back up.
Is he tiring of me already?
After skinny dipping late one night, they dressed and sat on the sand of the public beach in their damp clothes. It was peaceful except for the constant glances Will tossed at the opposite end of the beach.
Matt’s memorial. She bit her lip, her anger at Delores renewed with fresh blood. Will’s deep sigh was loud in the quiet of the night, and she couldn’t stand his agitation.
“It’s pretty ugly,” she said.
“What the hell is it supposed to be?”
“An anorexic whale?”
He glanced in its direction again.
“I think it’s some form of abstract art.” She stood and held her hand out to him. “Come on.”
“What?”
“Let’s go look and see if we can figure out what it is.”
He stared at the water.
“She can’t ban you from the fricking public beach!”
He cursed to himself but got up. They held hands as they walked to the memorial. She swore he must be struggling with every foot, trying not to look over his shoulder as though he was going to be told he wasn’t welcome.
I absolutely hate that woman.
They stood in front of it, their fingers laced together. Kelly cocked her head side to side, trying to figure it out. Will gave it a blank stare and stuffed his other hand in his pocket. Giving up, Kelly sat on the sand, and with his hand still in hers, he plopped down next to her.
“How the fuck is this supposed to represent him?” he asked.
“Did he ever say he wished to be reincarnated as a bug with blubber?”
“It looks like an elephant with antlers.”
A faint noise sounded behind them and he moved to get up. Probably a raccoon.
“Will. I’m going to kick you if you scramble away. It’s an ugly statue. You can look at it all you want. Don’t let Delores control your life. She pisses me off.”
He twisted his mouth and looked off to the water.
“You’re not a damn sissy. It’s past time you write her off and move on with it.”
He turned to face her.
She stood. “I know you’re the bigger person, Will. You don’t have to take cover from her. I’ve got your back.” She cupped her hands at her mouth to yell at the night sky. “Hey Delores! I’m on the beach with Will. The memorial looks like shit! And you don’t deserve him, anyway. So you can kiss my—”
He yanked her hand to sit her down. With a small smile he pulled her to his side. “I shouldn’t be here. How can I sit here and look at this thing? I let him die, Kelly. I should have saved him.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. My bad. He wasn’t self-conscious because of his mommy issues, but the grief of losing his best friend. She had predicted he would never talk about Matt. It still had to be hard. She tucked her hand in his. “You can only do so much.”
No answer.
“Do you know how many damn people I couldn’t save? How many people I had to help into body bags? And I’m a bleeding heart baby! I only talk tough. I quit my job because I couldn’t handle the stress of Norbert dying. And his daughter hating me for letting it happen. Do you know how many threatening letters I got from his campaign staffers, saying I shouldn’t work at the hospital if I can’t do my job—”
“They threatened you? Is that why your brother asked me to look out for you?”
“When did Grant say…? Oh, when he tripped by the lake?”
“They threatened you?”
“Not really. I mean, I guess. His daughter was the only real threat. Physical at least. They told me she was straight-jacketed away.”
“Are you always this naïve? Someone left a snake in the truck you were driving. Someone ran over yo
u with a boat—”
“Will, settle down. Don’t get far-fetched. I blame alcohol for the boat deal. And the snake? Don’t you think that’d be bit extreme? It was back in Atlanta. The hospital took the letters seriously. Cops checked it out. Grant was all over the legal aspects of it. They were vague threats. Not about killing me, really. They were dumping blame, wanting me fired. Besides, they’ve been busy moving on to a new candidate to market.”
His chest rose with a deep breath. “I should have talked him out of enlisting.”
“You never wanted to go in the Marines?” She recalled Junior’s clarification. It had been Matt’s idea, but she assumed Will must have warmed to the ambition.
“I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but no, I never wanted to go. It was almost a week after I’d gotten out of college. I wanted to add on to the garage, expand clientele. Clay and I talked about subbing out the routine crap and setting up a specialty shop for ourselves. Classics and rebuilding antiques.”
He laced his fingers in her hand. “He’d just gotten done with his carpentry program. The pole barn behind the townhouses? He was going to make it his studio and workshop. And she hated it. She wanted him to go into politics, not slave away working with his hands. So she shipped out his girlfriend. Made up some bullshit about him cheating on her. She broke up her son’s fucking relationship. That’s why he did it.”
“Matt enlisted to get away from Delores?”
“He enlisted to get back at her. She abhorred the military. That, too, wasn’t fit for her son.” He shook his head. “I tried to talk him out of it. Let’s dodge town. Move. Start up shop somewhere new. But he knew how much I wanted my garage. He thought going in the Marines, defying her, getting away for a while…he thought it’d be a way to teach her. To show her she can’t control him. I had to go. I couldn’t let him go without having his back. But it was his hand on the door handle that triggered the bomb. Not mine.”
Better Than the Best Page 24