by Minna Howard
‘I feel the same,’ she said. ‘But I also love Hugo, or the man he used to be. I don’t know what he’s up to or if he even loves me now. Perhaps real love never dies, just lies dormant, like a seed.’
He felt that if she turned to face him now, he would have to sweep her up in his arms, forgetting their old lives and ready to embrace a new one together.
There was a cry and he turned to see that Laurie had fallen flat down on the stone. Xavier reached him in a moment and knelt down beside him. Laurie had cut his knee quite deeply, blood was running down his shin. He was struggling to hold back the tears, frightened by the sight.
Xavier helped him up to see if he could stand on it while Flora handed him a handkerchief from her bag.
‘Don’t touch, don’t touch.’ Laurie pushed his hand away. ‘It hurts.’
‘It’s OK, but let me bandage it up and then we’ll wash it.’ Flora took over and gently tied the handkerchief round his knee. ‘How’s that? Let’s go and find somewhere to wash it.’
‘It hurts, it hurts,’ Laurie wailed, standing on his good leg, clinging to them both.
‘Hang on and I’ll give you a piggyback to Ben who is waiting for us and will wonder where we are,’ Xavier said.
Slowly, sweating in the boiling sun, they made their way back down the sloping road to the café where Ben was waiting. Xavier could feel Laurie’s tears on his neck, feel the shuddering of his body as he struggled to control them.
He felt a wave of regret. He and Flora might still love each other but it was almost certainly too late for them. Life moved on and they had other people who depended on them now.
30
They got back to the villa in the early evening. The air was heavy and stuffy as the end of the day neared, the sun mellowing into a softer gold like syrup poured over everything.
Ben, commiserating with Laurie over his wounded leg, offered to lend him his crutches to help him walk, ‘as long as you bring them straight back for me so I can get to the car,’ he joked, making Laurie laugh.
After being cleaned up in the café and with the bribe of an ice cream Laurie soon recovered. In fact, he became quite proud of his wound and basked in the praise of the women in the café, who admired his courage in such adversity.
Tom rang Flora, just as they arrived back at the villa. ‘I hear you’ve discovered a treasure trove of pictures,’ he greeted her.
She laughed. ‘Have you seen them? Did Kenley send the copies?’
‘No, if you remember, he’s not good with modern technology, though he’s described them. He says she’s a sort of Beryl Cook, who I adore, as you know. So where do I come? I can’t wait to see them.’
She gave him the address and he said he’d come the following morning. She assumed it would be all right, but felt she’d better confirm it. It would be tragic if Eadie had had second thoughts and wanted to pull out of the whole thing.
Well, don’t be all day about it. I have to make arrangements,’ Tom said in the peeved voice she recognised from other times when his ideas were not acted upon immediately.
The only person in the garden at the villa when they returned was Susie; she’d been swimming and was drying off in the late sun. Flora, who had her bathing suit on under her clothes, stripped off to swim a few lengths in the tempting, turquoise water. Ben announced he was going to his room as he had some work to do on his laptop.
Xavier’s mobile went and it was Darcy. Laurie, having snatched the phone, was now babbling excitedly to his mother, telling her about his fall, his leg being ‘all blooded’ and about being allowed to see the kittens if he was quiet. ‘I have to be quiet or she might eat them,’ he said.
‘I suppose Martha told him that,’ Susie said to Flora. ‘Though admittedly she knows more about cats than I do. I wish someone would come and claim then. Sylvia’s put up a notice in the boulangerie but had no luck so far.’
‘Perhaps she’s a feral cat or been left to fend for herself by someone who’s moved away,’ Flora said as she settled down beside her. ‘Anyway, it seems to have cheered Laurie up.’
‘His fall sounds awful. He doesn’t need stitches or a bandage, does he?’
‘No, it must be sore and needs a proper soak in a bath but I don’t think it’s too bad.’ Flora lay back on the sunbed and closed her eyes. For a moment the two women remained in companionable silence before Flora remembered that Tom wanted to see Eadie’s pictures tomorrow. She asked Susie if she thought that was all right. All seemed quiet by the campervan so she didn’t want to disturb them.
‘I’m sure it will be. I don’t think the caravan is moving on any time soon. I remember meeting your two bosses ages ago when we came to an exhibition. It would be wonderful if it all happened for Eadie.’
‘Let’s hope it does. Kenley loves the pictures and the two of them usually agree. I have known some fights, but that has usually been because one of them had an issue with the artist,’ Flora said.
‘I don’t think that will happen with Eadie,’ Susie said.
‘No, they’ll love her.’ Flora felt sleepy now after their day.
After a while Susie said, ‘So you had a good afternoon with Xavier and Laurie? Port Grimaud is so pretty. We especially love it in the winter when hardly anyone is there.’
‘It must have a completely different atmosphere then,’ Flora said, thinking how crowded the tiny streets were now. ‘Ben came too,’ she said firmly, ‘though he had to wait in a café for us as it would have been too difficult for him to walk up the hill.’
‘Have you heard from Hugo?’ Susie’s voice was light though Flora felt the weight of her question.
‘No, I’ve tried to ring him, text him, email him and had no answer. We asked at the port if they had any news, though we didn’t get very far, even when I showed them Hugo’s photo.’
‘I’m sure we’d have heard if there’d been an accident,’ Susie said. She dropped her voice even though they were alone in the garden. ‘Matt and I nearly broke up, oh, before you met us. I’d lost yet another baby. You know I lost them all within the first three months, and then I met someone else. Matt and I were so upset we couldn’t communicate and there was this man at work, he was so kind, so understanding, just when I most needed it. Matt and I were too unhappy then to help each other.’
‘So what happened?’ Flora had never suspected such a crisis. In her mind they had always been the perfect couple.
‘I was faced with a choice,’ Susie went on. ‘This other man was moving to our office in Brussels and he suggested that I went with him.’ She paused. ‘It was a very difficult choice but I chose Matt as, despite everything, we sort of fitted together. And I was right, it made us stronger and then Alegria turned up and needed us. Hard though it was at the time, I know I made the right choice.’
Flora stayed silent a moment to digest this news. She guessed Susie had confided in her as a warning.
’So you think I must choose between them?’ she said quietly.
‘Yes, don’t you?’ Susie’s eyes were kind. ‘I can see how Hugo has been affected by the drastic change in your family life. You’ve forgotten how to talk to each other, how to be together, just the two of you. And now here is Xavier. He’s such an amusing, attractive man and you once loved him. Freedom can be so intoxicating, can’t it?’
‘I know that and I see that Laurie needs so much care with his parents living apart, but…’ Flora bit her lip, ashamed now of her feelings at the closeness they had felt together this afternoon. It was almost as if having met again they both knew they belonged together. Susie guessed.
‘You and Xavier are still attracted to one another, still a little in love with each other, perhaps. He brings with him the magic of the past, when you were both free and it was a simpler, more passionate life. You can, of course, be together if your marriage really is over. I’d say most relationships have a sell by date unless they can change with life’s circumstances, weather the storms. Hugo is a good, decent man and the father of your g
irls. I think you ought to be very sure there is nothing left between you before you embark on a new relationship, especially as there is Laurie to consider, and, of course, your daughters. They may have left home but I bet they still need the security of knowing their parents are still there, together.’
Remembering Isabel’s recent telephone call, Flora knew Susie spoke the truth, but she didn’t want to hear it. Why should she be the one to make an effort in their marriage when Hugo was thinking only of himself?
She said, her voice sharp. ‘That’s all very well, but where is my husband? He goes off with a virtual stranger, said he’d call me and hasn’t, and I can’t get hold of him.’
‘I know, I wouldn’t like Matt to do that, but maybe he’s lost his mobile or the battery’s run out or it’s fallen overboard,’ Susie said gently. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything.’ She put a hand on Flora’s arm. ‘But I’m so fond of all three of you and I would hate it to end in tears. If I’d known you and Xavier had history, I wouldn’t have asked you here together.’
‘That was a long time ago,’ Flora said firmly.
‘Maybe, but the way you look at each other, the ease you have in each other’s company, points to something deeper than just messing about in boats together. Perhaps if I didn’t know you both so well, it wouldn’t be so obvious,’ Susie said.
People began now to appear in the garden having rested and changed for supper. Ben hobbled out of the villa and Eadie and Serge came across the garden.
‘One of my bosses has contacted me about your pictures,’ Flora said to Eadie. ‘They got my message on the answerphone. By sheer coincidence Tom is out here and wants to come and see your pictures tomorrow morning. Is that all right? I can put him off if you’ve changed your mind.’
‘Oh… well, yes.’ Eadie glanced in Serge’s direction. ‘Do I have to do anything?’
‘No, just let him see the pictures and he’ll pick out the ones he thinks will make a great show,’ Flora said, hoping that Tom would like them enough for an exhibition.
‘So exciting, Eadie.’ Susie got up and hugged her. ‘We’re all here to support you and your pictures will speak for themselves. Now, I had better go and spruce up. It’s my turn to do the dinner although Matt’s done most of it.’ Susie rested a hand for a moment on Flora’s shoulder as if to remind her to think hard about her love life. Eadie sat down beside Flora.
‘I’m all of a flutter, but I won’t think about it at all until… your boss?’ She paused.
‘Tom is coming, Tom Harris.’
‘Until Tom’s seen them. Serge says I must do it and he usually knows what’s what,’ Eadie said in a voice that implied she wanted to change the subject. ‘Now tell me about your day. Did you have a good time? I saw you go out. Ben must have enjoyed getting away for a while.’
‘Yes, we went down to the port,’ Flora said, wishing she’d gone with Susie and fled to her room. What if Eadie had also guessed about her and Xavier and was going to lecture her on relationships? She felt exhausted by it all, furious with Hugo for being unavailable, fearful that something bad had happened to him and overcome by a desire to chuck it all in and be with Xavier.
Perhaps she ought to return home. As far as she knew, Xavier was out here for another week, so it would be almost two more weeks together. Would they be able to keep out of each other’s arms all that time? She was also annoyed that Susie and Matt had noticed their strong feelings for each other. They were bound to keep a close eye on them even if it were unconsciously.
She hated to admit that Susie was right. She and Hugo had been married, happily, as parents to their beloved daughters for almost twenty years. If she and Xavier were to be together, she must bring her marriage to an end as kindly as she could. For all she knew, Hugo might want an end to their marriage too, she thought, feeling scared now. But if that’s what they really wanted, it must be done and dusted before she started something new with Xavier. Though that could be wishful thinking, too.
31
Flora sat next to Matt at supper. Eating together in the evening was all very informal though and she was happy to be next to him. Tony was on her other side. Xavier was further down the table sitting on the same side so there was little chance of eye contact. Alegria and Laurie sat together at one end, giggling and whispering together, Laurie’s eyes shining with merriment, his sore knee quite forgotten.
Tony asked if she’d heard how Hugo was getting on and Flora, trying not to sound panicky, said she hadn’t heard.
‘Oh, are they out of reach, perhaps?’ He smiled at her, a dull but kind man who seemed to go with the flow of his wife’s wishes and opinions.
‘I think they must be. Stupidly, I don’t know the name of the boat or even where they started off from,’ she confessed, feeling Tony was going to query her lack of curiosity.
‘But the man he’s with is a great friend, I understand, so did he not tell you? Or have you forgotten, perhaps?’ He smiled kindly as if she was just an empty headed woman who probably wouldn’t remember such things.
This annoyed her. She despised men who thought of women in this way but then she didn’t know anything about the boat trip at all, well, except they were supposed to be going in the direction of Italy.
‘No, I haven’t forgotten, I wasn’t told,’ Flora said tartly. ‘Edmund cannot be described as a friend. We met him ages ago but he suddenly turned up here.’
Matt, overhearing this, confirmed it. ‘I must admit I did find it a bit odd that he asked Hugo if he’d crew for him. Perhaps he was desperate.’ Then thinking that sounded a bit unkind he said quickly, ‘What I mean is Hugo is not at all boat minded and I think you’d need to be quite experienced to set off on such a trip.’
Flora turned now to Matt, saying quietly. ‘That’s why it surprises me so. As you know, I spent many summers of my youth on boats in Suffolk and though Hugo loved the place, he was not that keen on sailing. Admittedly, the weather was often dreadful and as he was working in the travel business we could go for holidays in the sun fairly cheaply, so we did that instead.’
‘So, you don’t sail any more, either?’ His voice was gentle, his hazel eyes full of concern. He was such a decent, fair man, trying to see things from all angles.
‘I did on some of our summer holidays if sailing was offered at the resort, and the girls learnt, but not like I used to, no. Not regattas and all.’ She thought of those childhood summers. Nearly everyone at the yacht club took part in some race or other, sometimes sitting becalmed for hours on the water, trying to catch the tiniest of gusts or battling under dark skies in lashing rain and strong winds. It had been a wonderful childhood, rounded off by her summer with Xavier.
‘I have asked around the place for any sighting of them,’ Matt said quietly to her. ‘It is difficult. There are so many people sailing just now. I understand Hugo has his passport with him so if… Well, I don’t want to sound dramatic, but if anything had happened to him…’ He tailed off.
‘I’m assuming Hugo has his passport on him,’ she said, ‘though worst case scenario, he could have gone overboard and not be found for ages, wash up somewhere.’ The fears that she’d struggled to suppress were now rising in her.
Matt put his hand over hers as she distractedly picked at the tablecloth. ‘Don’t torture yourself, Flora. In my experience, once someone gets on a boat, they seem to forget the people left behind on land and lose track of time. After all, it’s often difficult to know exactly how long a trip might take. The boat’s sure to have an engine so it won’t be becalmed. I’m sure you’ll hear soon and we’ll all be laughing about this adventure later.’
‘I know and I wouldn’t worry so much if he’d gone with one of our real friends, old friends, who’d make sure he kept in touch. He did tell me to text him if I wanted him. I’ve sent two short messages to ask how it’s going and he hasn’t replied to either which is not like him.’ She sighed. ‘We’ve been so distracted since the girls went to the US.’ The ever present pain f
rom missing her daughters gripped her heart.
‘This is probably his way of coming to terms with it. You know what men and emotions are like.’ He smiled. ‘I’ll make more enquiries. Someone might know something.’ He squeezed her hand.
Xavier, at the other end of the table, seized the momentary lull in the conversation to tell everyone about Tom Harris coming to see Eadie’s pictures in the morning. This brought more excitement and everyone began to question Flora about him and ask what chance she thought Eadie had of becoming famous.
An amazing aroma of herbs and spices wafted over from the other side of the garden and a jaunty tune played softly from the campervan.
Matt sighed. ‘Serge’s cooking. He is always very ambitious but it does rather take over our garden.’
‘Smells wonderful though, garlic and spices,’ Flora said, though it was becoming a little overpowering. ‘Well, I hope it all goes well for her tomorrow. I think Tom will like them. He might be able to take some back with him to show Kenley.’ She wondered if Eadie would let them go. ‘It’s great that they are still here and amazing luck that Tom is nearby.’
Matt said resignedly. ‘Eadie and Serge don’t see time in the same way as the rest of us. They probably did mean to stay here only two days, but now having settled, have decided to stay a little longer. But they are lovely people and they are, on the whole, self-sufficient.’
‘And very adventurous,’ Flora said, thinking how tolerant Matt was. He’d taken on Alegria, Susie’s niece, with her dysfunctional sounding mother and though people might say they’d only done it because they did not have children of their own, Matt and Susie had been Alegria’s lifeline. Watching her laughing with Laurie now, Flora thought again how well she had turned out.
There was a movement by the door and a man appeared in the garden. It was dark in that corner and for a moment Flora thought it was Hugo and she almost rose to go to him.