by Minna Howard
Home alone would be sad, and why shouldn’t she stay here until it was time to leave? Give up this lovely place and congenial people to go home to a house bereft of husband and children?
It was only mid-morning. The rest of the day stretched ahead and she wondered what to do with herself. Since last night, when she and Xavier had fallen into the bushes in each other’s arms she sensed, probably wrongly, that everyone was taking a prurient interest in them.
As if Xavier guessed her thoughts he caught her eye and shrugged with a sad smile which she understood. She felt like getting away from the villa for the day, to be on her own.
There seemed to be a party going to the beach and Sylvia asked if she’d like to join them.
‘Thanks, I won’t today. I feel like a bit of sightseeing,’ she said, hoping no one wanted to join her.
‘Too hot for that. Have a good time,’ Sylvia said cheerfully.
Laurie said. ‘Can I see the kittens again? I’ll be very quiet.’
‘All right, just for a minute but I told you we mustn’t disturb them,’ Sylvia said.
Xavier and Laurie followed her inside with Laurie jumping up and down beside her asking if he could take one home.
Flora saw that Alegria was sitting forlornly by the pool, trawling through her mobile. She went over and down beside her.
‘So, your evening wasn’t much fun?’ she said lightly.
‘No, I came home in a taxi.’ Alegria kept staring at her mobile.
‘Want to talk about it?’ Flora asked, as she would have done to one of her daughters.
Alegria looked up in surprise. ‘Do you really want to hear?’
‘If you want to tell me. Sometimes my daughters like to talk about things. It’s better than keeping worries to yourself.’ She smiled encouragingly.
‘But nothing goes wrong with them, everyone loves them,’ Alegria said savagely.
‘And lots of people love you. You mean so much to Susie and Matt, and Eadie and Serge.’ Flora was shocked by her outburst but then she understood. Underneath Alegria’s beauty and poise there still lurked the frightened child, pushed from here to there by her selfish mother.
Before Alegria could answer a man appeared, having walked through the villa. He glanced round the garden and although she’d only seen him in the dark, Flora thought it was the same man, Jean Claude, who had come to collect Alegria last night. He seemed even older than he had appeared then. Catching sight of Alegria, he strode across to the pool.
‘Alors, Alegria, qu’est ce que tu fais?’ He stood over them menacingly.
‘Vas-t-en,’ Alegria snapped, hunching into herself. She was shaking but determined.
‘Do as you are told, she doesn’t want to see you,’ Flora said, standing up as if to lead him away.
Ben, who had been peacefully reading his book, looked up and seemed to grasp the situation at once. He struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on his stick, and let forth a stream of French, nearly losing his balance when he waved his stick, and Jean Claude backed off and almost ran from the garden.
‘Oh, thank you, Ben.’ Alegria jumped up and ran over to hug him. ‘What did you say, it sounded awesome?’
Ben sank back down on his chair looking rather pleased with himself. ‘I spent a lot of my youth in France and learnt the right lingo to stay safe. Think you’ve seen the last of him.’
Alegria now seemed as if a weight had been lifted from her. She hugged Ben again, saying, ‘I couldn’t shake him off last night. I managed to get a taxi back but as he knew where I lived, I was terrified he’d come and find me… which he did. Thank you, dear Ben, for sorting him out.’
Looking relieved, Alegria went to change into her bathing suit for her daily stint of sunbathing. Flora went over to Ben, praising him for his courage. He had planned to leave today but now that he had broken his leg, he had had to change things.
‘I’ve let my office know. My nephew is flying out and will drive me home. He’s down from university and he’ll enjoy the trip.’
‘That’s a good idea.’ Flora was about to ask him how long it would take him to drive home when she felt her mobile vibrating in her pocket. Hugo must have got her frantic message last night.
‘Excuse me, I’ve got a message from Hugo.’ She got up and moved away from him. The message was not from Hugo, but from Xavier.
Sorry about last night, the moonlight and all that was too intoxicating. I’ll go home early, if that is easier. X.
Was that a kiss or the first letter of his name? She slipped the mobile back in her pocket and went back to Ben.
‘So, where’s Hugo got to? Becalmed on some nudist beach, perhaps?’ Ben joked.
‘No, it wasn’t him, just a friend,’ Flora said, hoping he would not guess it was Xavier.
‘I hear Laurie was sick all night, poor little fellow,’ Ben said as if he had indeed guessed. ‘He looked fine at breakfast, a bit washed out but I expect he’s exhausted from staying up so late. Mind you, continental children stay up all hours. We certainly did when I lived here as a child. Saves money on babysitters I suppose.’
‘Have you children, Ben?’ Didi appeared from the villa and had overheard his remark.
‘No, my sister has six, she’s got my quota,’ he said with a laugh.
Wanting to escape, Flora decided it was time to set off sightseeing. There were so many pretty places around. She went into the living room to look through some guidebooks there, some dating back to before the war. They were amusing to look at.
Eadie joined her. ‘I feel all of a flutter,’ she said, sitting down on the sofa. ‘I can’t believe it’s happened and all because of you. I can’t thank you enough.’
‘You don’t have to; I was only doing my job. Your work is wonderful and it is time you showed it to the world.’
‘I don’t know about that. Serge and I are just going in search of more paints. I didn’t bring many with me. I think there is a shop in Antibes. Your friend is right, I did rather rush one or two of those pictures.’
‘They will look wonderful when you’ve touched them up a little. He hardly asked you to do anything. I’ve seen him make an artist practically redo the entire picture,’ she said.
‘Well, I’m glad he hasn’t asked me to do that,’ Eadie said. ‘So are you going to the beach today?’
‘Maybe later, but I think I’ll go and get some culture in first.’
Eadie said. ‘You must be worried about Hugo, or do you have one of those relationships where you live side by side but do your own things, independently?’
Her face was kind and there was no prurient gleam in her eyes.
‘You know that our two daughters have gone to study in the US? Well, we were a very happy family of four and now that we are just a couple again we are sort of floundering around. I don’t know if our marriage will work now the girls have gone.’
‘A good relationship will weather any change,’ Eadie said. ‘It may be difficult and very different to the life you led before, but if it’s strong and there’s will on both sides, it will settle down into something new, but still happy.’ Her voice was reassuring.
‘I suppose so,’ Flora said, and seeing Serge waving to Eadie she decided that she’d go off, too, now. She’d rather spend the day alone than have to keep pretending she was fine, listening to people’s well-meant remarks about Hugo being becalmed somewhere away from any signals or having dropped his mobile into the sea… and Xavier. How would they keep their passion for each other under control? It probably would be better for her to go home and leave him here with Laurie.
As soon as Eadie left to go in search of more paint with Serge, Flora chose one of the guidebooks and sat back down on the sofa to skim through it. A picture of the Citadelle at St Tropez sprung out at her. She’d go there. It wasn’t far away and she remembered a holiday when she and Hugo had gone there with the girls.
She took down the directions to put in the Satnav and went to her room to get ready. When she reappeared, only
Ben was in the garden, there was no sign of Alegria. She wondered if she should ask Ben if he wanted to come with her but then there was the climb to the top of the hill so it wouldn’t suit him. Besides, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts and just absorb the beauty of the place with those long-ago memories of when they were a happy family.
‘I’m just going out. Can I fetch you anything before I go… or when I’m out?’ she asked him.
‘I’m fine, thanks, Flora. Susie’s here and Matt will be back soon with the newspapers,’ he said. ‘Enjoy yourself, look forward to hearing about it.’
She left him thinking how nice he was, uncomplicated, even a bit dull though he had certainly shown a tougher side to his character seeing off that man. There was something calming about him that rather appealed to her just now. There had been a bit too much drama in her life to cope with recently.
She felt slightly nervous having to drive on the opposite side of the road but she gave herself a sharp pep talk and soon she felt more confident, especially as the traffic was not going particularly fast.
She reached the Citadelle with ease. You could hardly miss it, squatting, as it did, on the hill above her, the massive walls pinkish gold in the sun. She parked the car and started to walk up the steep path. It was getting hot again, with the sun beating down relentlessly. It was quite crowded with people coming up and going down. When she reached the top, she looked across at the glorious view of the town, the sparkling sea dotted with moored boats and the dark green cypress trees against the intense blue sky.
In the shade she saw a male peacock sitting grandly on a wall, the blue of his neck and chest brighter than the sky. He turned away in disdain when she took out her mobile to photograph him. She passed some cannons, weathered green, pointing out to sea and snapped those too.
The sun was too hot and she decided to go into the museum to cool down. She wandered round the rooms looking at the displays of ships, nautical instruments, and pictures of people from long ago. She remembered her daughters taking notes and photographs for a school project they’d been given that year and was hit again by a pang of loss.
She wandered round the outside to take more photographs of the stunning view and then, feeling thirsty and hungry, she decided to go down into St Tropez and find somewhere to eat as it was getting late.
She went back towards the port and walked along the front beside the boats, expensive, soulless, fibreglass monsters alongside smaller wooden craft, and one beautiful old wooden sailboat. There was a string of restaurants bordering the port and she looked for one that took her fancy; she just wanted a salad and masses of fresh fruit juice to drink. It was there, sitting at a table outside one of the restaurants, that she saw Hugo and Edmund.
35
For a moment Flora thought she was hallucinating. What were they doing here? Had they finished their epic sail and, most important of all, why hadn’t Hugo answered her text?
She stood amid the flow of people, staring at the two of them in disbelief. The men were hunched over talking animatedly, or rather, Edmund was talking, Hugo only interjecting here and there. There was a bottle of wine and a clutter of plates and glasses between them.
Her first reaction was to march up and confront Hugo, demand to know why he hadn’t contacted her, but she hesitated. She could just walk on and leave them to it. They hadn’t seen her and Hugo was obviously alive and well and not drifting out to sea or being nibbled at by fish. Though why was he here and not sailing up to Italy as he had told her they would? There were about three days left of the trip. Were they back already or was he up to something else?
She was hit by a sudden surge of desire, remembering last night with Xavier, before a wave of guilt overwhelmed her. Though they hadn’t made love, they would have done if Matt had not appeared that moment.
There were some large pots of plants in front of the restaurant and she positioned herself so they would not see her if they looked out at the boats. She studied Hugo. He looked good. He’d caught the sun and his face was brown, his hair lightened at the edges. She remembered how they’d loved each other, how happy they’d been during those few months when it was just the two of them. Once their daughters were born it became a different kind of love. Now they had gone, they seemed to have taken that love with them, leaving their parents together as strangers.
There was movement from their table. A pretty young waitress brought the bill, laughing and flirting slightly with them. They paid and got up. Hugo shoved his wallet into his jeans pocket.
Now was the time to confront them. She hadn’t come to find them, she had just chanced upon them. Edmund pointed to something ahead in the harbour as they left the restaurant. She must go forward, call out to them, but she did nothing, stayed where she was in silence and they walked away from her into the crowd and out of her sight.
Why had she let him go? Not confronted him at their table, or when they passed so close to her? She could have asked what he was doing, when he was coming back? She’d felt such anger when she’d first glimpsed him, anger for the pain – and fear he’d caused by not keeping in touch. But seeing him then, feet away from her, she hadn’t wanted this to be their first contact, especially in front of Edmund, whom she didn’t like and who might be difficult and sneery towards her. She was hot and lethargic, feeling a little faint from lack of food and drink and after those first moments of annoyance, she just could not be bothered to chase after them through the crowd. He was alive and would come back to the villa Emeraude in his own time. Surely he would – even if only to collect his precious shoes?
She turned and walked away in the opposite direction, wondering at her own behaviour. Was she suffering from guilt that she’d been in Xavier’s arms, fallen so easily into his embrace? Afraid Hugo would guess, sense something different about her, her body tuned to Xavier’s instead of to his? Yet besides her guilt, she was feeling such relief that Hugo was alive, not at the bottom of the sea, and that he looked well. This break seemed to have done him good. But what if he didn’t come back? Decided to make a new life without her?
She wandered on, deep in thought while waiters called out, waving menus and hoping to lure her into their restaurants before they closed until the evening. She kept brushing them off, but she felt faint and thirsty in the heat and at last she chose a fish restaurant and sat at a table under an awning, where a noisy fan cooled and soothed her.
She ordered the fish of the day, with a salad, a bottle of still water and a glass of house white. Had Hugo got her messages and ignored them? It was not like him to do that. He was not an unkind man, or one that liked to control people by keeping them in suspense. If Xavier had not been here, they might have settled down to their changed life, taken up new interests together.
The fish was deliciously fresh and she was hungry. It was a long time since breakfast. She watched the passers by. Some lingering by the harbour watching the action, others getting in or off the moored boats or nosing their way from the sea into their mooring.
She wondered what Edmund’s boat was like. One of those over the top gin palaces, or a smaller boat with some charming magic about it? She was not going to go looking.
She finished her lunch and drifted round the shops. She bought herself a pretty blue and white top which was light and cool and a couple of colourful straw bags for the girls. She kept an eye out for Hugo; though it was unlikely she’d come across him here, as he was not keen on meandering in and out of shops without a specific thing to buy. On family holidays she and the girls left him behind to trawl through the local shops, and with a pang, she missed their girls now, their laugher and jokes. Isabel always made an exhibition of herself, trying on the most outrageous clothes and hats. They’d been three girls together and now she was here, alone.
Tired and hot from her day out she went back to the car, turned on the air conditioning and drove on up the road back to the villa. Would she find Hugo there, and if she did, would she say she had seen him? Although then he’d ask her w
hy she hadn’t spoken to him. And she wouldn’t be able to answer because she didn’t know herself.
36
It was almost supper time when Flora got back to the villa. She drove the car through the gates to the back, past the space where Eadie and Serge’s campervan was usually parked. They must still be out searching for paints.
As Flora picked up her shopping, she thought of her day with Xavier and Laurie and how content Xavier had been to wander around the shops with her, even offering to carry that cumbersome but beautiful rolling pin. She must not compare the two men she warned herself. The lover of one summer when she was young and fancy free could not be compared with her husband and the father of their beloved girls.
All this sensible advice went to the four winds when she saw that the only person in the garden with her was Xavier. He was sitting by the pool with a drink, drying off after his swim, his body taut and brown with the sun.
She decided to go straight to her room with her shopping but, as she passed the pool, he looked up from the paper he was reading and smiled. ‘Ah, there you are. We wondered what you were up to when Ben said you’d gone off to explore, on your own. Where did you go, did you have an adventure?’ His voice was teasing.
‘I went to the Citadelle de St Tropez.’ She sat down beside him, depositing her bags by her feet.
‘That’s a great place. I must take Laurie,’ he said. ‘We had a good time on the beach. Laurie wanted to go and he seemed well enough, but now he’s having a sleep and I felt like one more swim.’
She’d like one herself but she suddenly felt shy.
‘What else did you do? Did you eat there?’ Xavier asked her.
She thought of Hugo and Edmund getting up from their table in the restaurant in front of her. Should she tell Xavier? But then how could she explain why she didn’t go up and speak to Hugo?