Was she really edging up the drying husk of forty? It wasn't that bad, was it? Even at this age she looked as attractive as she had when she was at her peak. Of course, it was easy to say that based on the opinion of her husband. He was always telling her how beautiful she was, even when she did not agree. But that is the way of men, is it not? Competition with the mirror, assurance found in his sincerity.
Thoughts of the distant past permeated her consciousness. Hindsight elicited thoughts of regrets, the least of which were the twins. Kai seemed so happy, and Tenma, somehow emotionally - well - removed. How could she expect a teenage girl to deal with also being a part-time teenage guy? Nakio had been very good about helping her to discover the - woman, as it was revealed - who had issued the curse upon Tenma. Apparently it was performed during her pregnancy.
Being a martial artist of considerable prowess in reputation as much as ability, Mai understood the faucets - the escapes - that training could offer to cope. In many ways, it was a healthy way in which to focus emotional turmoil, but in doing so, it was possible to become lost, or engulfed entirely. Through the years Tenma had become a fiercely powerful warrior, and - like her uncle, Terry Bogard, she admitted - had declared herself a Lone Wolf. She was only sixteen, and yet it was clear she believed she had no equal, and no one so far had been able to disabuse her of the notion.
'Mama?'
Blinking slowly and swivelling the recliner, Mai faced the daughter upon which her thoughts dwelt so frequently. It was the next day, she observed dully, and dinner was simmering in the kitchen. Had the whole of it passed her on such brief terms? Shaking the thought and attempting to seek light past the all consuming considerations of recent history, she gazed upon the young woman.
'Yes sweetie?' she half crooned subconsciously.
The demure fear in the young woman's eyes betrayed her usual fire-eyed demeanour. 'Mama… I need to talk to you.'
Uncertain, Mai sat forward, reading tears and pain in her expression. Offering silence and open arms, Mai accepted Tenma's abrupt sobbing, trembling and confused mutters.
'It's okay,' she whispered, hoping to heaven that she could convince herself of that. Everything inside her spoke ill, denying her the security of certainty. 'I'm pregnant,' were the words, breaking the vision, shattering the thin sheen of memory. A shrill spark of rage shot through Mai, and she clenched at Tenma until she whimpered slightly.
'Mama… that hurts!' Recalling herself, Mai unclenched the figurative talons and retracted her nails. Red faced and terrified, Tenma sniffed and blinked, saying little. 'What am I going to do?'
Mai got to her feet, standing, walking, exercising her body in a weak effort to calm the torrent of anger flared within. Like an automatic parry she asked, 'Who's the father?'
'I don't know!'
'What?'
Mai's fury passed as the tale flowed, along with Tenma's tears. Cursing herself and her "feminine" weakness, she reflected on changing to her male self, staying that way for days, and only now, two weeks later, turning back to herself. She had been mugged and raped at gunpoint. She'd been shot. Where? In the arm. It was only a flesh wound! No, he hadn't beaten her. She said she had been tested. No! She hadn't tested HIV positive. An abortion…?
'Mama… I don't… I… I can't! It's not the baby's fault!'
Mai crossed over to the couch, taking her daughter's hands, and said: 'That's okay. I'm here. We're here.'
Tenma's eyes fell. 'What about Papa?'
'We'll talk to him. Together.'
'But what if he says…?'
'Papa loves you Tenma… We both love you. Always. We'll work it out.'
'I know… I just… I shouldn't have been walking around like this,' she glanced at herself, indicating her sexual state. 'If I'd been male he'd…' her voice dropped.
'No!' Mai searched her face, finding no end of sentence. Her expression set sternly. 'He could have killed you. I would have lost you. I couldn't bear that!'
Tenma gazed at her, hearing the words, fearing them, feeling for her mother, knowing it was a return of favour. 'Arigato gozeimashita,' she said bluntly, softly. 'That was a stupid thing to say.'
'No, no, Misty darling.' Open arms to receive the deathly terrified girl.
Rest came only several hours beyond midnight. Rest, lying down of the body, without calming the mind. The muscles in her neck felt like a firm crosstitch. Mai feared this more than death itself, this unrelenting pain in her daughter. She could not let herself act upon the wills which her mind fed upon. What comfort she could find was not, ironically, in Andy. Nakio, she knew, would understand. Tomorrow they would talk.
@~%~~~
After having prepared the fast-breaking meal, Nakio was joined by a very quiet Mai and Tenma. Over the duration of the meal, it came to her that the silence had reason.
'We must talk,' Mai issued in a hushed voice, swallowing with some difficulty. She sipped at her drink.
Nakio merely nodded, offering no conjectures as to why. However, from study, she was able to determine that it was about Tenma, who avoided her gaze tenuously. There was a glazed look of pain in her eyes, and the bags of want for sleep underneath. The blade of pain had cut deeply, and the wound, still fresh, bled copiously. The stain of it was evident in her body language, as she leaned forward slightly at the table, eyes wandering, uncertain of where to settle. Mai also seemed to have managed little in way of rest, fostering the dreary look of unspent frustration. These expressions fell into place in glances shared, and not, by mother and daughter.
'Come Mai, Tenma,' Nakio said, standing from the table. Mai began to collect the plates. Nakio merely negated her.
'No. Obviously there is something much more important to deal with.'
Mai squinted in her direction, her face betraying curiosity in the woman named Kani Nakio, even after knowing her for six years. Finally, she set the pieces down, tapping Tenma on the shoulder, realizing she seemed unaware of the movement. Tenma wanted to sit in the dojo, noting something about safety. Nakio arched an eyebrow at the comment, but made no remark. They made themselves only somewhat less than comfortable on a cushion apiece, atop the slightly raised stage of instruction.
'So who will start?' Nakio quested strictly, in her native tongue, Japanese, wanting to cut to the quick rather than dodge the obvious. Mai and Tenma exchanged wistful looks, and the mother decided it would be best if she began. As expected, Nakio understood, and was able to relate on terms of which Mai had long term suspicions. As they talked, Mai slowly fell to the wonderment of how much more of a history had Nakio that she had yet to divulge?
'Have you chosen whether or not to abort the child?' Nakio asked with a faintly betraying tone of disgust. It was clear she did not condone the idea.
'I don't want to do it,' she replied, fear and passionate fires in the windows to her soul. Nakio set Tenma with a hard gaze of scrutiny. 'It's not the baby's fault…'
'I need to ask you something…'
Tenma choked, tears rising in her eyes.
'Sensei,' she started, recognizing the tone of command. 'What?'
'It's about you and your sister's safety.' Something not unlike desperation shone in her voice. 'You must be strong, Tenma-san. Please.'
Swallowing the shard of emotion down - or trying to - she blinked and nodded.
'What did he look like?'
Memories flashed, and with them, like the deeply unsettling call of thunder, terror beckoned. His grin was the first slide to appear upon the white wall of calmness she had constructed in her mind. Goosebumps rose on her forearms, she shivered vaguely, clutching her stomach, sheer terror in her eyes.
Nakio cursed under her breath. Of course! Tenma had only buried her feelings, unable to deal with them. It was not so much that she expected the young woman to face them so soon, it was that she hated to bring them forth like this. Yet, she simply had to know! Mai reached over with a wing to shelter her, but Tenma chirped nervously and shrunk away, not wishing to be touched.
Revulsion an
d abhorrence for herself were adamant. Again, she damned her stupidity, her ignorance. She had known! Was it not true that she tempted them like that? With her beauty? She was attractive to them, and they smelled her like wolves, knowing which would flinch at the hint of violence. The weak ones. She had been fooling herself, training so hard. What had it done? Nothing!
“But you're wrong,” said a voice. It was Nakio. Tenma looked up at Nakio through her blurred reality. “You are not weak, you are not stupid. You were not unwise. Look at me.”
Tenma shifted her wandering eyes, wiping them with the backs of her hands.
'You see me? I am a strong woman. I was entrapped and owned like an animal.'
'How can that be true?'
Mai regarded her daughter seriously. “There is still so much for you to learn, Tenma-chan.'
'Hai. I survived, fell in love, gave birth to Ayana.'
'But you are stronger than I am,' Tenma said, forlorn. 'How can I—'
'Mama-san! We're back!' called a familiar voice.
Immediately Mai dismissed Tenma, and she departed quietly. Kai had proceeded to the open kitchen where Mai had apparently immersed herself completely in aforementioned task. Watching her, concern took the forefront.
'Mom?'
She started, dropping a mug into the sink. The descent was accompanied by the sharp, harsh shattering of ceramics. Mai gazed dully at Kai, looking tense and on edge.
'Gomen nasai!' Kai apologized quickly, approaching her. 'I didn't mean to scare you.'
Mai clearly her throat uneasily. 'No,' she replied, offering no denial. 'It's alright. I'm just tired. I'll be fine.' She grasped for the shards in the sink, gathering them slowly into her palm.
'There's something wrong with Tenma, isn't there?'
Mai gasped, taking in a mouthful of air suddenly. She clutched at her left index finger and winced faintly. Kai responded on a reflexive thought, retrieving the first aid kit and urging her mother to sit so she could bandage the cut. 'It's nothing,' Mai protested weakly. 'It'll stop bleeding on it's own.'
'Will you, though, Mom?' Kai parried carefully. 'I know I haven't been around for awhile, and I don't know what's been going on lately, but…' Her eyes met her mother's, letting the dressed finger go. 'I've missed you.'
Mai was silent for a thoughtful moment. 'I've missed you too,' she issued warmly, then exhaled slowly. 'Honey, I can't tell you what happened to Tenma. You're supposed to talk to her aren't you? Isn't she waiting?'
'Yes, but I'm worried about you too,' and her face screwed up in a worried look. 'What then? Is it Nakio?'
Something like shock took Mai for a moment. Of course, that was her concern. What could she tell her? That her sensei was… what? She really failed in mustering a specific concept regarding the matter of her somewhat enigmatic friend. Over the years, since the beginning, it had ceased to matter… until now. Mai stood and walked over to the home brewed herbal tea she had prepared. Automatically, she retrieved a quad of mugs and began pouring some into each.
'Mama-san?'
'I'm sorry baby, but I… I don't know yet.'
'I understand," she sighed. "You will tell me, right?'
Turning, she handed two of the mugs to Kai.
'Hai.'
'Alright,' she half-smiled, kissed her lightly on the cheek, and left without a backward glance. Questions swirled anew in Kai as she proceeded to meet her sister.
So what is it? What's is going on? Is Nakio hiding something? What could it be? The only answer came: Anything. Not easily, mind you, but it was indeed possible. And since having attended college and being away for two years, Kai felt that her awareness of the situation in total was slight at best. A week at home just wasn't enough to give her an accurate sense of the undertones of interaction that had developed over those pair of years.
'Tenma?' she called into the room.
'Hai!' a voice replied. 'Come in.'
Her hair was thin and wet, and she had changed into a - Kai blinked - maternity dress? Gazing at her, Tenma's face registered nigh coldness, and a partial frown.
'So what was it you wanted to talk about?' Kai asked gently, very aware of her sister's defensive mannerisms. The answer, however, was made quite obvious.
'So what's his name?'
'Kai… it's… I…' she swallowed a chunk of lava into her stomach, for it burned inside her as the emotions swirled within. 'I was raped.'
Everything Kai had felt to be true about her sister, the stalwart, the strong, the column of confidence, shattered like an ice sculpture under the violent throe of a rock slide. Tenma's words held an uncertainty for sympathy, aware of the remoteness Kai had walled about herself.
Kai found herself trembling, feeling as though slapped. 'Tenma!' she cried softly, reaching for her sister.
Silence offered itself to them, and was accepted in part, aside from their faint, autonomic breathing.
'It scares me to see you so… so scared.' Kai admitted with Time-wrought hesitance.
Tenma only shook her head. 'You can't dwell on it, sis'. Really. You've go to move on… forget the assh…'
'Kai! You don't have to swear!' Tenma snapped abruptly, interrupting with round eyes.
'Since when did that start bothering you?'
Tenma refused an answer, feeling vague, and uncertain. 'I guess it doesn't matter. Why are you wearing this?' she pinched and tugged at the light blue dress in a pair of fingers. 'You don't start to show for several months… Um, how long has it been?'
'Only a couple weeks,' she admitted, eyes downcast. 'But I am… feel,' she took her sister's hand, pressed it to her stomach, and held her there for a time.
Aghast and awestruck, she pulled back. 'Tenma-chan… how…'
'I don't know.'
'This is what you were talking about with Mama and Nakio.'
She nodded.
'You need to see Osaka,' Kai decided gravely.
'Who's that?'
'A person I met on campus.'
'What about Mama?'
'Well, hai, of course after we tell her,' she replied with an ashamed smirk. She got to her feet. 'I've got to change. We'll go talk to Mom afterwards, okay?'
'Umm, I suppose.'
@~%~~~
'I apologize, Mai-san,' Nakio had begun, setting herself down at the table aside the light of the window in the kitchen.
Mug and plate of sweets in hand, the recipient of the apology refused the offer as she accompanied Nakio, sitting opposite her. Ayana had decided that her mother was not likely to entertain her, and had departed, seeking just that. Nakio warned her not to interrupt Kai and Tenma, explaining to the young girl that they wanted to be alone. She had smiled, understanding, and trotted off.
'She's so bright, Nakio. Even at six she understands so much,' Mai observed, eyes catching the empty doorway through which she had exited.
'Hai,' Nakio calmly agreed, sipping at her tea slowly. The warmth filled her throat, drew forth a thread of tension from her and untying a pair of knots in her neck. Mai's earth toned eyes drifted back from the doorway, and halted on Nakio, gauging and considering her.
It is well beyond time now to tell her, advised a voice within.
Yes, I know. How can I avoid it feeling like an abuse of trust? she replied wistfully.
My kind heart, you cannot.
'Nakio… Or is that your real name?' The hardness in her voice hurt, and Nakio winced as if struck.
'No, Mai-san. Forgive me. It is not.'
Mai's glare did not soften.
'I am Kino Makoto. I don't know if you've heard of the…'
'Bishojo Sailor Senshi.…' The tension eased in an odd manner. She'd heard about their disappearance. Everyone had. Yet even as she said the words, only then did the remainder of the facts fall into place. There was a rumor one of them had returned, but… 'You've been here for seven years Makoto. You've only been missing for a couple of weeks… How is that possible?'
'I don't know. I guess Phate knows what she's doing.'
'Phate? What do you mean?'
'I'll explain.'
'Okay, but what about Kai? You're going to have a hard time explaining that to her.'
'Well, it's not going to be any easier than this…' her words jammed firmly in her throat, constricting thought has much as her vocal instrumentation, '…but I guess it's got to be done.'
Makoto's tension tripled as a stark thought raised its fearsome head and glared upon her with glowering spheres of yellow light. 'How do you know? Kai and I weren't friends long enough to…'
'No…' It was Mai's turn for guilt. 'But Kai knows people. It's not my place to tell you, but she can. If she knew who you were, she would have already…'
She nodded slightly in reply.
'Um, do you mind if I ask what happened?'
'No. I guess it doesn't matter now anyway, since we're pulling all the stops. I was captured by a lion youma, who took the us and sent us away from this world. It is a long story Mai-sama.' A long restrained fatigue penetrated the usually tempered look she wore with such deliberation. 'There is so much… and to relate it all…'
Mai shook her head.
'It's alright Makoto. Just tell me… what… where did you go? How did you fall in love?'
The request faded into oblivion as Makoto began speaking. The encapsulation passed with several pots of tea, lunch, and the delicate darkening of the midsummer sky into the early evening. Makoto illustrated the violent nature of the future Earth. She elaborated on the Coalition and their Communist-style attempts, and frequent successes, in rebuilding a society dominated by their order. She spoke of her experiences, her capture - Mai pointed out the reference to the story she had told Tenma - her life as a Cyber-Knight, being hunted by the Coalition. Through a bout of tears she spoke of Hanlan, of her love for him, and the emptiness in her soul, which delivered the finest charred slivers of agony every moment she did not distract herself from the situation at hand.
Makoto did not speak of Marlanda, and deliberately failed to mention the ancient who had saved her from the Slaver and former CEO of Neo Tech Industries. She did, however, tell the story of Phate, and what had been her bidding. Rapt, unable to conceive the majority of the events told, Mai sat, and having already wept for her, was silent.
'This woman - so beautiful, so, so…' she paused, lost in the recollection. 'She was so outrageously sensual… oh, well, sorry. It's impossible to describe. She called herself "Phate," and she wanted - well, it was really simple. She just wanted me to prove myself. She said that she was impressed by my fighting ability, but said that I could be better.'
Answering Mai's curious expression, Makoto said: 'It was really crazy. I thought it was a dream. Even a nightmare would have been suitable. It wasn't though, and Phate proved that to me pretty quickly. She has little tolerance for ignorance. I stayed for a few months, training under her, and then she just… sent me here.'
'Why?'
'To protect the twins.'
A quizzical look washed over Mai's face.
'I don't honestly know. It's been so long that I can hardly see the point, but… she's never been wrong.' Makoto stated with a tone of finality.
'Pardon? Don't you mean "hasn't been wrong before"?'
Makoto shook her head firmly, saying nothing as she stood slowly. 'Mai… are you up to cooking, or should I?'
Mai blinked. 'Um, if you don't mind…?'
She smiled faintly, 'I don't.'
Makoto began running a sink of dishwater as Mai turned to leave.
'I'm going to check on the twins,' she stated softly.
'Hai,' she replied, not looking at her.
'Makoto?'
The tone of her voice drew Makoto's eyes upwards, her gaze somewhat expectant.
'Darling Mako-san, thank you. For your honesty,' and she departed with an endearing glance. Makoto sighed, left with the frustrations of ignorance. What next?
What kindness she has, Ellison pointed out. Are you not fortunate?
I suppose, was the morose reply. For once, Makoto's ancient rune weapon could not muster a response. At least she would not have to trouble Ayana with the nonsense of her fake identity. She was at such an age that details like those would affect her minimally - or so she thought. With this obstacle cleared, what would come next? The idea of Ayana growing up never knowing her father frightened Makoto deeply.
'Mama-san?' Her voice was soft, thick with concern. 'Are you okay Mama?'
Tears jumped to her eyes, she turned and scooped the little girl into her arms, hugging her tightly. Alarmed and frightened, she yelped.
'Mama-san! Why are you crying?' her bell of a voice pleaded. 'Are you hurt?'
Beyond her own pain, Makoto became vaguely aware of a difference in her little girl. Her voice, her weight. She distinctly felt heavier. The tears halted. It was not just a matter of an additional five pounds over a few weeks. The difference was nearly five pounds in just a few hours!
'Mama-san? Are you okay?' she entreated of her mother with her startlingly sharp brown eyes.
'Hai Ayana sweetie,' Makoto lied, heading towards the nearest bathroom. 'I'm fine.'
'But you were crying. Are you hurt?'
What do I say? 'I was just worried about you.'
'Mama-san… I know. It's okay. Papa-san is here.'
She nearly fell forward as she set Ayana on the scale. Her heart paused for a preplanned action, and as she gazed unbelieving at her child, resumed. She landed on one knee, wincing faintly. 'Ayana… Papa-san is gone. I told you—'
She shook her little head eagerly with a pleasant smile. 'No Mama-san. He's here!'
'Ayana, can you tell Mama how you know about Papa-san?' she asked gently, striding at an alarming pace towards her bedroom.
'Hai. I felt him,' she replied matter-of-fact, extremely proud of herself.
Thoughts flew through her mind. Ayana weighed too much for a five year old now. Almost sixty pounds. Enough for an above average height eight year old. She was psychic and she recognized Hanlan's psychic presence. Well, as Makoto was so powerful, from being a Sailor Senshi as much as a Cyber Knight, it made sense. Like mother, like daughter. The first part, however, bothered her. Why was she growing like this? Nothing she had read during her training mentioned anything like this. Besides, she was not on Rifts Earth any longer.
'Stay here,' she bid, fading into her room, collecting her silver and ruby dove ring, and returning only a moment later.
Hanlan, she thought, reaching out with her consciousness.
Silence.
'No Mama-san, he's busy,' Ayana explained.
A confused and surprised glance suffused Makoto's expression. 'What? Doing what?'
'Saving Tenma-chan.'
'Oh my Goddess…' she took Ayana in her arms and dashed straight to the dojo, expecting Mai to be there.
'Where's Mai?' she asked herself.
'Outside,' Ayana replied, her voice sounding distant, vacant. Makoto's fear carried her thoughts while she strained with child in arm as her feet carried her body at full stride.
Chapter 28
Reunited for Good
Starlit Ruins Page 30