Until then,
I love you both will all of my heart.
(signed)
Ayana Kino (soon to be Ayana Kino Lording)
Dear Bishoujo Neo Senshi,
Forgive me, dearest young warriors, I knew my demise was near. Naturally, how, or when, was masked from me. It must be a somber time. Alternately, it must be a great time, of discovery and challenge for you, having received shards of my divided power.
I know the questions:
"Why didn't she tell us?"
"Why did we receive her power?"
"What now? The war is over!"
Any others you must puzzle through with your own wits. Yet, there are answers I can provide. It may wound you, but foreknowledge of my death would have far from inspired you all. It could have simply have not been divulged. You must understand the logic. My gifts, my power, are one of the few things I could give you. In truth, each of you received a shard of it the day you accepted the crystals that once empowered you. In all honesty, death will be the only way you can truly be free.
From whom? From me. You see, I am a Channeller. From a very young age I learned of my ability to instill strength in others by manipulating manna, my mind the focal lens, by which I created crystals which could bestow various abilities.
Unfortunately, I never learned how to properly disentangle myself as the source. Spending a week in the hospital due to "unexplained" fatigue, and then shattering the dozen crystals I had given to friends, quickly taught me to be more sparing. It also successfully ended my sixteen year old life. That, however, is water under the bridge.
Neo Senshi, you were given my power because I had to entrust it to someone. You six, especially after defeating and surviving Uraki-Ayo's clones of the Inner Senshi, and his invading armies, have immeasurably more than earned it.
What you do with it is entirely your decision.
That, my dear, young companions, is the "what now." I cannot tell what will come. I do know you are better prepared for whatever may be.
Ayla, I know you will reject the young leader of the foreign soldiers. It is clear to me that you must forget your pride. His want to become a KnightsMage and join you in leadership holds nothing more foreboding than his romantic interest in you. You know that, however, very well. I know also how difficult it will be for you, for it is your bearing the Neo Senshi leadership mantle that fuels that pride. If anything, reconsider his motivations. As for your shadow-cat familiar, that is apparently the result of accepting your aunt's mystic offering. You'll learn how to deal with her, and the trouble she's caused you thus far. I know you won't speak of it to the others, but the mystic star-seal upon your cheek will only complicate matters when you become angry. Be glad you are blessed with a gentle temper. Finally, dear Sol, I know it may be hard to face your mother with such changes, but do so. No one loves you more.
Masurani. Your strength will have only grown since your defeat. I know at this you will no longer wonder. You, like Xalia, are a mutant. It is an oddly limited thing, but extremely remarkable. Goku's Saiyin ability which increases his power level after major loses of battle will be yours, as will Makoto's ability to adapt in battle, and, much to your shock, a transient curse you will have unwillingly received, to transform yourself into a demon-like faerie. There is indeed more, to come with time, but awareness will give you choice. My last words to you are to remember your friendships; your teammates and companions, the Neo Senshi, and the Shirinaui clan, they all care for you very deeply. I know, that like your predecessor, Kino Makoto, you tend to distance yourself in times of emotional tenderness. Do try to seek them, even through you may prefer to step aside.
Naritha, your glass-like fragility is no more representative of your truer self than the grinning eyes of a cat. That you very much are; slender, and beautiful, but swift and deadly, though you restrain yourself very wisely. Nonetheless, you do not feign to ignore your skill, proving your innate wisdom. What am I saying? I know you will be uncertain of your power. It is a fearsome one, and though I cannot ever understand it, I chose you because of your strength. You will learn to control the echo of voices years and miles distant in time and space. Do not forget the honour your mother and father have taught you. Respect yourself, for you have earned my gift through personal integrity. Concerning Yanei, your forgiveness speaks to the fortitude of your soul. Have faith in yourself, dear heart, for it is pure, and that love has only enhanced the quality of your life. It will continue to do that if you will listen attentively.
Haisha. Of all of you, you will be the most aware of the changes wrought, if missing the emotional impact. You will know that this war has had a unique effect upon you all. That, however, represents the distinct differences of your personalities. You will have become something you never really were during the trial of battle; internally balanced. Anger may still fuel your power, but you will learn to temper your passions. That, I can see, and have always known, is your greatest struggle. Of course, I was not blind to your sympathetic feelings towards Jisuruka. You always knew that. She experienced similar abuse; thus out of all of the Neo Senshi she could understand you. Save perhaps Xalia. Though I admit, her experience will have been the most unusual. What is important is that Jisuruka will forget you. Usagi and I agreed she is to adopt her sister into her legal, and emotional, family. Jisuruka's fancy arises out of certain self-loathing, just as your emotional needs meet. You know she does not sate your innermost desires. How you will deal with her, I cannot know, but I do know that it will not be easy. Apart from further telepathic manipulation, it could not be. I expect by the time you read this she should already have been accepted in this manner by the Tsukino family. Know that what comes is for your own good, and accept it. A good warrior will tolerate change with a stiff upper lip, but as you are an emotional creature, don't fear tears, dear one. Regarding your changes: The feline tail, ears, and claws may be awkward, and embarrassing, as will the ability to metamorphose into a cat, along with the habits that you must accordingly struggle with, but you will find in them benefit. You are one of the more resourceful young women I have ever known, and a talented tactician. Focus on your skills, and use them to the fullest. Your potential is grand, my dear. Always remember that you are respected and loved by your teammates, even Ayla.
I have both many and few words for you, Xalia, my troubled, winged young woman. You are the youngest of the senshi, and the most prone to self-doubt. You do not yet have your friend's years, even if you have equivalent combat talent. It troubles me to say this, but none of us can relate to what you have suffered through. I do not know how you feel, aside from the prominent self-loathing, and hatred for Uraki-Ayo. Know that you did the right thing, when for many others, they would simply have died, or completely forsaken their values. Facing the deaths of the squires? This, I admit, is something you must do on your own. There is more, but try not to focus upon those thoughts. Never forget that you are loved by so many. Your parents know, by mercy. They suffer with you, and offer what loving support they only can. You are not to blame, in any capacity. It pained me deeply to learn of the sexual abuse among the torture you experienced. Do you know I tremble to write these words? Such emotional pause I have not felt in decades. You will live, I know. In the strangest way I feel responsible, as if in choosing you I caused your torture. Do not believe for an instant that I did not have faith in you, for that was unending. Like a mother, I believed you when no one else would. Sometimes faith was all I had. Though I can think of few others I would rather have invested in. It hurts me to a point beyond words. So, I ask you. Forgive me. I write this not long before I will die. We could not reach you in time. Be strong, Xalia. I know you lock up your feelings, and will hide behind loud bravado, only to suffer silently. But don't turn away from the offered arms of those who so dearly love you. Like the others, you are a survivor. You are ultimately stronger than anything he has done to you. Never forsake your friends, never give up hope. A family is within your reach, but be patient. The damage done was great. Neve
r forget, through all of it, that right is good, and there is justice. You have yours by living.
Jisuruka. No longer concealed is your origin. Nonetheless, neither are you spurned by Usagi, nor the Neo Senshi, who have the most reason to hate you. You fuelled the campaign against them, and very nearly obliterated them. On the other hand, you were suffered to experience the same at the hand of your short-term lover, Uraki-Ayo. I know you will agree with me; doubtful beginnings. Beyond this, I know you will make the right choice in the end, for your heart is very much similar to your sister's. You are an integral woman. Even as Uraki-Ayo's consort you refused to participate in Xalia's torture. Expel your guilt, and come past your pains. You have also earned your power, and place among the Neo Senshi, as Sailor Ceres.
I can only wish you the best to come, strength when you lack it, and hope for the future. I loved you all, and am deeply honoured to have been your mentor, and companion.
My love to you all, from the core of my soul,
(signed)
Nasura Iridian
Afterword
Part two was a different beast. With the Senshi scattered throughout North America and Europe, it was a matter of picking up the pieces and deciding how they pulled their lives back together so they could face Galaxia. Why Angel Senshi? Following Naoko’s laid out path of Usagi becoming, effectively, an angelic being was just logical. The Neo Senshi, on the other hand, presented an opportunity for me to get real with the struggles of magically empowered young women in a battlefield. Do I believe it was a step too far with Xalia? Yes, it is never acceptable that abuse happens, nor is it right for us to turn a blind eye to the reality of it.
Sailor Moon is not complete to me without the happy ending, even in the tradition of Japanese trauma-drama. Usagi's greatest strength is her heart, the love she has for – frankly – everyone. The war happened, and I never imagined for a moment that no one would step up to fight for good even with the Sailor Senshi gone. In exploring ideas, I can see I made a few – obvious calls, such as cloning the original Senshi into twisted alternate versions. This was a trope unexplored by the Anime, so it might be considered commentary.
Yes, there were a lot of cameos, and there’s no doubt that is owed to the series that had my fascination at the time. While many see Dragonball has having lost focus, Goku continues to be interesting to Toriyama, and it’s not difficult to see why. His particular combination of purity and power are as every bit as captivating as is Jesus Christ. Plot fixings aside, this was the second novel-length work I completed. Feedback led to revisions that were primarily self motivated. The campaign had ended some time ago, but there was more to do. Carried aloft as one is by a world, its characters and reality, determination no longer required.
The great take-away for me is that hope is what we have, for which faith is our foundation. Why does redemption play such a role in the narratives we love so much? In your heart, trust why that is, and never give up hope. It may be a troubled, disjointed journey, but it is ours. We chose it, and we choose what we do next.
Starlit Ruins Page 56