by Bailey B
Piper chews on her bottom lip then sighs. “I have a suggestion, but you’re not gonna like it.”
“What?”
“Fuck him.”
Heat climbs my neck to my cheeks. I shake my head, stunned she would even suggest that. “Nuh-uh. No way.”
“Think about it.” Piper shifts, probably because baby Liam moved in her big belly, trying to get comfortable again. “You left with a lot of unresolved feelings. They’re bubbling up because you never dealt with them. There was no closure the way you guys ended things.”
As crazy as Piper’s suggestion is, the longer I think about it, the more it makes sense. Our relationship was like a book whose final pages had been ripped out. I hate leaving a book unfinished, no matter how much I hated the story. We need an ending. A real one.
“Think of this weekend as your redo. Relive your happiness tonight and give him a proper goodbye tomorrow.” She reaches out and squeezes my arm. “You owe yourself as much.”
Maybe sleeping with Logan isn’t the worst idea. It’s embarrassing to admit, but the few personal moments I get in life, Logan is the center of my thoughts. Maybe I just need to satisfy the urge, one more time, and then I can be done with him.
“Okay,” I finally agree, bringing my gaze back to Piper. “But how do I get Logan to go along with this?”
She smirks and drapes her arm over my shoulders. “Trust me, this is going to be easier than you think.”
8
Logan
I am a fraud.
More specifically, my life is. A carefully crafted façade to look like I’m living and thriving when, in reality, I’m dead inside. Besides dulling the pain, alcohol makes it easier to pretend that I’m alive. It’s harder to pretend today as I watch Danika effortlessly mingle with Piper and Rex.
My hand shakes, not enough to spill my whiskey, but enough that I don’t like it. I let the amber liquid in my tumbler roll over my lips. It’s rich and earthly and does the trick to take the edge off. I’ve had a lot of time to think since breakfast. Since that word.
Friends.
I hate that fucking word. But not being friends with Danika is a good thing.
Friends is a death wish.
Friends means friend zone, which, in case anyone is curious, means I can’t get my revenge.
Walter claps his hand on my back as I finish the whiskey in my glass. “Son.”
I turn my head and arch a brow. While I like Walter, him marrying my mom in no way makes him my dad. I have one of those already, and he sucks. Also, the thought of screwing Danika and her being my sister is weird.
He lets out a deep, hearty laugh at my expense. “Too soon?”
I smirk and turn to rest my elbows on the bar top behind me. “Never would be too soon. No offense.”
Walter chuckles again but this time it’s not so blithe. “None taken.” He drops his gaze to my empty cup then meets my eyes again. “Should I be worried? Seeing her again can't be easy.”
“I’m fine.” I’m far from fine, but like I said, I’m a fraud.
He stares at me, waiting for me to add something else to my statement. When I don’t, he sighs. “All right, kiddo. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Will do, sir.” I force a smile which seems to satisfy Walter enough because he leaves. Thank God. He walks down the steps and I glance down at my watch. It’s time.
I stand beside Cooper at the altar. I’m not Walter’s best man, which is fine by me because Mom would never have made Danika her maid of honor. Piper has that title.
A recorded ensemble of violins play from hidden speakers and the one hundred people sitting in the audience twist in their seats. Danika comes down the steps first, holding the hem of her dress in one hand and a sunflower bouquet in the other. Her hair falls in loose waves, blowing in the breeze, and even though I saw her a few minutes ago, she still takes my breath away.
I tried my hardest to move on over the years but Danika is one of a kind. A ray of light in the darkness that had taken over my life. The reason I mended my broken relationship with my family. No one could replace her.
Danika makes it to the front of the altar and lets the hem of her dress fall to the sand. I’m sure Piper is coming down the steps, logically it’s what should be happening, but I can’t bring myself to look away from her. The way the sun reflects off Danika’s skin, she’s positively radiant.
Piper crosses in front of my line of vision and the music changes. There is no flower girl or ring bearer today because Mom only wanted family in the wedding, and none of us have kids yet. So that means the show’s about to begin. Everyone stands as Mom descends the steps. She looks beautiful, but she’s Mom. I expected nothing less. She reaches the altar, hands Piper her bouquet. Everyone sits.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” The officiant’s voice fades into the background.
I don’t care to listen to what he has to say. I’ve heard the speech, or a version of it, at Piper’s wedding. Instead, I listen to the sound of the waves crashing and focus on Danika. My stomach churns, sending a cold sweat dripping down my neck.
This should have been us.
Danika and I should be getting married. Not our parents. The only reason Walter and Mom became close is because he was worried about me. I was a mess after Danika left, sneaking into his house to sleep in her bed and hug her pillows. I was pathetic. More so, I was a drunk.
Between the alcohol, the court case, and Danika’s unconventional breakup, Walter was worried I was spiraling. In truth, I was. I’m better now, but that’s only because Walter rode my ass the way a father is supposed to, keeping me in line and letting me know when I’ve fucked up.
He came over twice a week to check on me, every week until I graduated. During college, he made it a point to take me to lunch at least once when I was in town and texted me almost daily. What I didn’t know was, while I was gone, Walter would come over and talk to Mom. They said their conversations were always about me but for a romance to bloom they had to have been doing more than talking. As much as I wish things between Danika and I were different, I’m glad someone got their happily ever after.
“You may kiss the bride.”
People begin to clap and I realize I tuned the whole ceremony out.
I clap my hands as Mom holds up her bouquet, linking arms with Walter before they glide towards the hotel. Cooper and Piper are next. Once they’re halfway down the aisle, I step forward and extend my elbow. Danika links her arm through mine and my breath catches again. I blink away the what-could-have-beens, knowing I’m alone in my thoughts, and try to relish this moment.
9
Danika
I can do this.
Breathe.
I can do this.
Breathe.
That’s been my mantra the last forty-five minutes, ever since making my way down the sandy aisle. I tried my hardest not to look at Logan when he fixed his gaze on me. His gaze that set my skin a blaze and almost made me puke from nervousness.
I chanted it when I had to walk back to the pool deck with Logan as my escort. It’s a wonder I didn’t pass out, my heart was beating so fast. And I chant it now, as the photographer poses us like we’re at prom, him behind me, arms around my waist, for a picture.
A very odd picture considering we’re supposed to be siblings.
I can’t wrap my head around that. Logan is my step-brother. My daughter’s father is her uncle. Talk about some backwoods, hillbilly shit.
“Okay,” the photographer says, the flash of his camera making me see spots. “You guys are done. I just need the bride and groom for a few more shots.”
Logan’s hands fall from my hips. The warm air feels cold against my skin and makes me shiver. The back of my dress is soaked with sweat, but Logan and Cooper are dripping, too. Whoever thought it was a good idea to do an outdoor wedding at one in the afternoon in Florida was an idiot.
Logan pulls the knot of his tie loose and unbuttons the top two butt
ons of his shirt. I can’t imagine being in long sleeves and pants right now. I’m melting in my dress and it’s a flowy chiffon material. “It’s hotter than Hades’ asshole out here.”
Cooper chuckles and claps his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “This ain’t shit, brother.”
“Come on.” Logan reaches my hand and instinctively I let him have it. It’s not until we’ve taken a few steps that I realize his skin is touching mine. Being around these boys again is too familiar. The lines between who we were and who we are now are blurred. I grab the hem of my dress with both hands, using that as the reason I broke free—not that I need one.
We’re hit with a gust of cold air as soon as the ballroom doors slide open and it feels heavenly. Cooper and Logan head straight for the bar. While a drink would be great, I head towards the hors d'oeuvres table. I need a minute to clear my head.
Ryan Tomlinson sneaks up on me and makes me jump. “Are you going to pick one? Or just stand there all day?”
The small white plate in my hand is still empty. I think I zoned out. I look up at him and grin, hoping I haven’t been standing here long. I hold my arms out for an embrace and become swallowed in his hug. “Sheriff Tomlinson.”
“We’re family now. Call me Ryan.” He pulls back and stares at me for a second. “You all right there, kiddo?”
I run my fingers through my hair, pushing the long stands back. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve, my face giving away everything I feel, both good and bad. That’s why I lied to Logan all those years ago. Why I hid in my room for a week when I first found out I was pregnant. He would have known the moment that he saw me something was wrong. “Is it okay to say no?”
Ryan grabs a small plastic plate and places a few pigs-in-a-blanket on it. “Today’s an emotional day, but I get the feeling you’re not talking about the wedding.”
“You got me.” I follow him down the horderves line as he fills his plate with food I can’t begin to think about eating.
“He hasn’t been the same since you left, you know.” Ryan turns and leans against the table. We both look at the dance floor, him probably scoping out the single ladies and me watching Logan. “What do you see?”
Everyone I ran away from. The wall around my heart cracking with each crooked smile and gleeful laugh that isn’t directed towards me. “A bunch of people having a good time.”
“You know what I see?” Ryan points his toothpick in the direction of Logan and some chick I’m assuming is a hotel guest. She’s pretty but not his type. “I see a drunk.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. The balls of my feet hurt. I shift my weight, silently cursing myself for not wearing my sneakers. They would have fared better in the sand. “Looks to me like everyone is teetering on the edge of being drunk.”
“Nu-uh,” Ryan chews on another snack from his plate. “That kid is one screw up away from losing his badge. The only thing saving his ass is me. The poor boy hasn’t been the same since you left, sweetheart.”
I watch Logan a little more intently. The only time I’ve seen him drunk was the night I picked him up from Dr. Shaffer’s office. He was hopeless, and angry, and lost. This drunk version of Logan is flirtatious, outgoing, and happy. I can’t find the connection between the two.
10
Logan
It’s quarter past three. Lunch was supposed to have been served thirty minutes ago. If Mom doesn’t get here soon, the hotel is going to start this reception without her.
I look over my shoulder and signal the event’s bartender for another whiskey and Coke. When I have my drink in hand, I amble across the room to an empty table. White tablecloths adorn the eight-foot rounds spread throughout the room with a sheer pink overlay. Last night’s shell filled vases have been emptied and refilled with water and floating flowers to match. I shake my head, appalled at how much money Mom wasted in the past forty-eight hours. Piper and Rex had the right idea by eloping in Vegas. If I ever get married—which I doubt will happen—that’s the way to go.
“Mind if I join you?”
A noose tightens around my throat with her words. There are no seating arrangements today. I think Mom did the tables this way because she didn’t know where to place Danika. Force her to sit with her new family and there could be drama. Sit all of us together but her, and you have the same problem. Without a seating chart, Danika can sit where she feels comfortable. I never thought that comfort would be found with me.
“Uh… ” My brain locks up, leaving me to stare blankly at her until it remembers what words are. “Of course.”
“Thanks.” Danika smiles and pulls out the chair next to me. I don’t know why, but I thought sitting with me meant at the table. Not beside me. She’s changed out of the long bridesmaid’s gown Mom picked and into a short royal blue dress that hugs her chest but spills out over her hips.
“You look beautiful.”
Her cheeks flush, making that smile even prettier. I’d forgotten what this side of Danika looked like. We never took pictures together in high school and my memories have become tainted over the years, tinged with bitterness and hate. The stoic expression and bite to her tone I witnessed before was what I expected. I can enact my plan without pain if she’s like that.
But this… the sweet innocence playing on her face mixed with her warm tone; if she keeps this up I may be the one broken after my plan is done.
“Nona slipped this dress in my bag and took out most of what I packed, leaving me no choice but to wear it or that hideous dress your mom picked out.”
I bite my lip and noticeably let my gaze drift across her body. She doesn’t seem to mind, which makes me wonder what Piper earlier. “Nona has good taste.”
Danika smirks. She reaches for my whiskey filled glass and slides it towards her lifting the rim to her red lips but not taking a sip. “Nona wants to remind you of what you missed out on.” She tips the cup and wrinkles the nose when the contents touch her tongue. “Ugh. How do you drink this shit?”
I chuckle and take my tumblr from her dainty fingers and set it back in front of me. “It’s an acquired taste.”
Danika rests one arm on the table, leaning forward, giving me a clear shot of her beautiful breasts. “Logan.”
This has to be a dream. A twisted dream merging reality and fantasy together because never in a million years would Danika come onto me. Not unless she wants something, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what that would be.
“Danika.” I lean forward, testing how close she’ll let me get. Our faces are inches apart, her minty breath skating over my cheeks.
She inches closer, eyes open. Our lips are so close I can almost taste her. “Tonight, can we pretend the past never happened and be two adults who find each other attractive?”
I fight a smile. I don't know what changed from this morning to now, but I’ll take it. I’ll woo the shit out of Danika tonight. Fuck her. Then leave her to wake alone, pining after me the rest of the weekend. If I fuck her right, she’ll remember tonight for the rest of he life and hopefully regret leaving.
“Who says I find you attractive?” I’m teasing and she knows it. Danika is like a bottle of wine, aged to perfection, becoming more desirable with each year that passes.
Her big Bambi eyes stare into mine. She bites her bottom lip. That lip slides from between her teeth, leaving a glistening trail of saliva on it, begging to be licked. “Your hard dick staring up at me through your pants.”
11
Danika
“Sorry I’m late everyone,” Tessa announces as she waltzes into the room, her hair a little less than perfect and her makeup too on point.
I sit back in my seat and cross my legs. My heart pounds in my chest, vibrating my whole body. I was sure Logan would call my bluff, that he’d back down and make a fool of me. After all, he’s supposed to hate me for the way I left. Hell, if the roles were reversed, I’d hate me. I loved Logan with everything I had and, if he abandoned the way I did
him, I’d be destroyed and never want to see him again. Ironically enough, even though I did the leaving, it still destroyed me.
But looking back on our time together, Logan was always doing something to fuck up, to need my forgiveness, and when kids are involved there are no second chances. One careless move and our daughter, Molly, could be gone forever. That was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
I close my eyes and lift my glass of water to my lips, hoping it’ll settle the adrenaline coursing through me and make the shakes go away. Tessa is still speaking, but I tune her out, focusing all my attention on the cool liquid sliding down my throat.
Chairs slide out around the table. I open my eyes and notice it’s full: Rex, Piper, Cooper, and Sarah have sat down with us. Piper nudges my arm with her elbow. I lean closer and she whispers, “Breathe. You’ve got this.”
I give her a reassuring smile, hoping I don’t look as nervous as I feel. The people in the room begin to clap and I realize my dad is standing next to Tessa. They must have given some sort of speech. I clap too. When they sit at their table-for-two at the head of the room, waiters appear with rolling carts and begin serving us salads.
“So, Danika,” Cooper says from across the table. “Where are you nowadays? Walter is weirdly cryptic about you. All he’ll say when Logan asks is that you’re fine.”
I look up from my salad. I never understood omnivore salads, they’re just lettuce with croutons and dressing. Vegans put everything but the kitchen sink in theirs to bulk it up. This literally feels like I'm eating rabbit food. “I’m in Georgia with my Nona.”
“That’s cool.” Cooper looks like he wants to say more but instead chooses to shove a forkful of lettuce in his mouth.
I stare at him, waiting for the next question to come. When it doesn’t I ask, “Why do I get the feeling you’ve got something else to say, Coop?”