Malibu
This isn’t going to be an easy conversation to make it through. I’m not just lying to Kassi, but to my brothers. The men who trust me most in this world. The men whose backs I’m supposed to always have and vice versa. The shame of the situation I find myself in has me wondering if I’ll ever get away with this scandal. Kassi’s eyes have looked dead since the encounter she suffered with Creed. I had no idea the effect these memories would have on her. No, I thought of no one outside of myself and my need to exact revenge. I’ve never been so disappointed in anyone like I am myself at this moment. I vow right here and right now to make it up to her. To put her above all others from this time forward. No one will ever be more important to me than her. I will make her feel so loved and cherished that she’ll never look out and not see me there; hearts, flowers and all.
She was right about one thing; Fern should’ve put her first and foremost. Why did I have such a hard time saying that to her? I should’ve ranted and raved about the hardship and trauma she endured. Fucking Fern, I bet she knew what her brother was up to and still chose to protect him.
“Okay,” Kid begins by banging on the table, “Please enlighten us as to why you’re home early and Kassi looks as if she’s been put through the ringer.”
“It’s a long story, brother. One I’m ashamed of since I wasn’t more cautious about our surroundin’s.” Kassi reaches under the table and squeezes my hand with hers. The small comfort makes me uneasy. If she was to ever discover I’m the reason for this, she’ll put a damn knife in my heart and call it a day.
“Then I guess you’d better begin,” Ryder grumbles; he looks ready to jump across this slab of wood and hand me my ass. Not that I blame him, as a matter of fact, I’d welcome it since it’s much deserved in this instance. When I go to open my mouth, there’s a banging on the door. It shocks us all and Ryder and Kid jump up out of their seat simultaneously and head toward it. When Ryder unlocks it and pulls it open, Skylar, Kaci, Sadie and Rylie come busting through, shoving the men out of their way as they do.
“The fuck are you doin’?” Ryder grounds out as he grabs Skylar’s wrist, stopping her from entering further into the room.
“Here’s the deal, Ryder,” she says, yanking her wrist from his grip and crossing her arms over her chest. “We get that this is your guys’ sacred room and all. But that,” she says pointing over at Kassi, “is our girl. And she looks distraught, we will be here for her. She’s our sister.” All the women take the same stance as Skylar and nod their heads in confirmation. A smirk develops on my face as I look at how fiercely they are taking a stance against the men.
“Kassi?” I call out her name, “would you like them to stay, babe?” Because this is her decision to make, no one can make that for her. I’ll stand behind her and make sure that what she wants, she gets.
“Yes,” she quietly answers. “I’d like them to stay. That way, we only have to share the story once. I don’t want to live it again every time I have to inform one of them of what’s happened. I’ll never get a moment's peace from them until they’ve heard every last, horrifying detail.” I nod my head and squeeze her hand this time.
“Let them stay,” I inform the men. Each woman comes over and hugs Kassi before making their way to their man and plopping down onto his lap.
“Where are the kids?” Kid asks Rylie.
“We grabbed two of the prospects. They’re on babysitting duty,” Rylie answers back.
“Great, our little hellions are going to scare our prospects away,” Kid drones.
“Then they aren’t strong enough for the club anyways,” Rylie counters as the women all agree with her opinion. “If they can’t manage our children, then they won’t be able to deal with the problems that come with the MC lifestyle.”
“All right, woman. You’ve made your point loud and clear,” Kid says as he slaps Rylie on the ass. “We were fixin’ to learn what happened while Malibu and Kassi were away.”
All eyes turn toward me and I clear the frog from my throat, feeling uncomfortable with all of their projected stares solely on me. “We had a few days of peace but came upon a rough patch. Deciding that we needed a day out, we hit some antique stores and then went out to dinner.” From there, the bad decisions I made come crashing down on me; I’m living a bad dream inside of my mind. Witnessing what Kassi endured over and over again.
Kassi
Malibu’s eyes get a faraway distanced look. He’s recalling that night, so I continue for him while he’s lost in his memories. “When we made it back, the lights were all off inside and out. We had no way of discerning if the power just went out, or if we accidentally left the porch light off. I had a disconcerting feeling, but Malibu was confident that everything was okay, so I followed his instincts even though my gut was screaming something was dreadfully wrong. We walked into the cottage only to notice that no lights were working and the house was muggy. I started opening the windows in the front while Malibu went to the back to do the same. I heard a scuffling commotion and my skin began to prickle. I instinctively knew something was wrong. I called out for him, but he didn’t respond back. I should’ve run out the door and went to find us help; instead, I made my way down the hallway to find out if he was alright or not.” I turn to Malibu and say to him, “I’m sorry, I screwed up by not doing just that.”
“No, Kassi. Don’t apologize for that. You did nothin’ wrong,” he adamantly states.
“I would’ve done the same exact thing you did if it’d been Ryder in that situation,” Skylar enlightens me.
“Same,” Rylie divulges.
“I think we all would have,” Kaci affirms to which Sadie agrees with Kaci’s opinion.
“What happened next?” Ryder demands, leaning forward in his seat, causing Skylar to draw up into a ball in his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck in order to not fall from his lap. “Sorry, baby,” he says, patting her on her thigh, then leaning back. His eyes stay keenly glued on me the entire time.
Taking in a deep breath, I pick up where I left off. “I crept down the hallway to search him out. Before I had a chance to make it to the room we were staying in, an arm reached out and a hand covered my nose and mouth. I panicked, started clawing and kicking. Eventually, I was dragged back into the living room and tied down to a chair.”
“You what!” Ryder jumps up from his chair causing Sky to fall to the ground at his feet. She looks up at him with wide, unsure eyes. When my brother is angry, he becomes unpredictable. You never know how he’s going to react, what he’ll do, or how to soothe and console his beast.
“Calm your ass down and let her finish speakin’!” Kid hollers. “You alright, Sky?”
“Fuck!” Ryder reaches down and helps his woman to her feet. When he retakes his seat and tries to pull her back into his lap, she gives him a wary look before shaking her head no. He swipes his hands down his face as Jacks ‘aka’ Jackson, brings her over her own chair to sit down in. She sits beside Ryder, interlaces her fingers with his, but refuses to sit with him. Not that I blame her one iota, I wouldn’t either.
“What happened next?” Travler probes, getting us back on track to the topic at hand.
“There was a man, he was asking questions; interrogating me about the night that Fern passed away.” For the next two hours I relive my grilling of twenty questions the man asked me; answer the men’s and my brother’s questions, and remember the way I was ultimately betrayed by the one woman I entrusted most in my life. By the time I finish sharing, I’m emotionally drained and my body hurts. All I wanna do is crawl into bed and sleep the days and nights away until I no longer feel this pain subsiding in me.
10
Malibu
After the conversation ended, Kid decided that the club needed to go on a light lockdown until we found out or discovered more information about Fern’s brother’s whereabouts, or if Kassi was in any more danger from the Bloodthirsty pussy Bastards. Kassi and I are in my bed, she’s sleeping restlessly and
I’m lying here, with her in my arms, staring blankly up at my ceiling. “How could you?” Kassi garbles in her slumber. I close my eyes tightly, wishing I could confront Fern for her wrong doings. I can’t help but wonder again if she knew all along what her brother was into. I bet that’s why she had distanced herself from us and things were tense on the home front. Those two, Granger and Fern, were tight, thick as thieves in the night, so the odds of her not knowing his troubles is zilch to none.
Granger is on the top of my list of people to find. Once I get a chance to speak with him; I’ll be single-handedly going after, and obliterating the club that tortured my women. I will always feel Fern’s loss to the depths of my soul, but Kassi is my number one priority. I keep repeating this to myself so that I don’t lose myself in vengeance. I will make sure she has her girls surrounding her while I go hunting. And that’s the best word I have to describe what I’ll be doing. Granger is my prey, and I’ll never stop until I know exactly what he’s gotten himself involved in. I need to know how far I have to go to ensure Kassi’s safety. I don’t want her looking over her shoulder for the rest of her damn life. That’s no way to live, and she is going to live the best life she can. I’ll make damn sure of that fact.
Forever yours, she once told me. I need to make sure she feels every day that I am hers forever as well.
* * *
I finally fell asleep as the sun began peeking over the horizon. Stretching my limbs out, I find the bed cold and empty. “Kassi?” I call out, my eyes not quite functioning. Wiping my eyes to clear the sleep from them, I stand up and scan the room. Not seeing her, I head into the bathroom. The door is always kept closed, but I don’t see any lights shining through the cracks. I go in, and as I presumed, she’s not in here. I take care of my morning business, then get dressed to go down and find my wayward woman. I search all of the main rooms coming up empty, so I head into the kitchen. My nose immediately recognizes the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, I fill it to the brim. After taking a few sips, I head out the back door and notice her sitting on a picnic bench. She’s wrapped in a blanket looking out at the property. She’s lost in thought; not wanting to startle her by appearing out of nowhere, I clear my throat so she knows I’m within her proximity.
“It’s cold out here, baby,” I state, understanding dawning on me with the look she shoots my way that she knows this; seeing as she’s wrapped tightly in a fuzzy throw blanket, which she lifts her hand inside of the blanket showing me. “Stupid observation, huh?” Her lip lifts in the corner, but no sound leaves her mouth. “Do you want more coffee?” I ask, pointing at her empty mug as I do.
“No, I’ve already had three cups. I’m a live wire waiting to explode,” she meekly states. I can’t help but think it’s more than the coffee causing her to feel this way.
“Do you wanna head in and have breakfast with me?” I question, wanting her out of this frigid temperature and inside the warmth of the clubhouse. It’s springtime, but the mornings and nights are chilly before the sun has a chance to warm the air.
“I’m not really hungry right now, Malibu,” she answers. “I’ll get something later, promise.” She knows I won’t normally let this go easily, but right now; I feel as if I need to give her this.
“Just don’t wait until dinner time to remember,” I jest. She’s always lost in some project or another to where she easily forgets to eat. “I’ve got a few things I need to take care of today, will you be okay here with the girls while I’m gone?”
“Club business?” she inquires, looking up at me and meeting my eyes.
“Yeah, babe. Club business,” I reiterate. She hates when I can’t share what I’m up to, but she knows the life and when to push and when to let it go. Which makes her the perfect Ol’ lady. She already knows the ins and outs concerning this lifestyle and doesn’t push me to become someone I’m not.
“Be careful and safe. And Malibu?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Don’t kill Granger.”
“I won’t kill him, Kassi. But I have some questions that he is goin’ to answer. Even if I have to threaten him to get him talkin’.”
“Okay,” she whispers, turning away from me once again. Leaning over, I kiss the top of her head then squeeze her shoulder before walking away. I don’t want to leave her today of all days, but this can’t wait. It’s been months since Fern died, and the longer we do wait, the worse things could become. It’s already blown up on the club’s family once, my family; we can’t allow that to happen again. They could already have a plan in place and we’d never be the wiser.
Kassi
I try to smile at the appropriate times, nod my head when there’s a break in conversation, but my mind is solely on Malibu. I’m fearful of what he’s up to and the lengths he’s willing to go to make Granger and the Bloodthirsty Bastards pay. Is he willing to sacrifice himself to get the answers he seeks? I can’t lose him too. He’s my lifeline, my anchor, my salvation in this life. I’m feeling helpless, hopeless and worried about what it means that I don’t want to live without him by my side. Is it love or is it obsession? Is it need or desire? Questions of this caliber keep popping up, leaving me gasping for oxygen to infiltrate my lungs.
“She’s having a panic attack,” Skylar screeches.
“Bend over, Kassi. Head between your knees,” Rylie issues. “Breathe in and out. Count to three when you inhale then exhale. Repeat it over until you have control.”
“That’s not going to work if her attacks are anything like the ones I’ve witnessed before. She needs medication, maybe a trip to the emergency room,” Kaci inserts.
“Are you googling again?” Skylar questions my twin.
“Hey, Google has all the answers to symptoms and what you should do when they arise. This one says she needs to see a doctor,” Kaci insists.
“You really should stop researching medical issues, Kaci. Just last week you thought you had a brain tumor when in actuality you had a sinus pressure headache,” Sadie reminisces. My heart still feels as if it’s racing, attempting to beat itself straight from my chest cavity. “Here, I have a Xanax in my purse.”
“Do I even want to know why you have that prescription?” Rylie questions her sister.
“Right now, that doesn’t matter. We need to get it down Kassi and try and calm her down.” Sadie tries to brush off her sister's question.
“Fine, but we will be discussing this once we have her calmed down, Sadie.” Rylie is amped up, I can feel the worry she has for her sister and it adds to my stress level.
“Y’all are making things worse. Just go get her a damn glass of water, Rylie, while Sadie grabs the damn pill,” Skylar utters, taking control of the sisters and their drama. I feel a hand sliding through my hair, and instinctively know it’s Kaci. Her scent envelops me, helping me feel a bit more secure and at ease. But not enough to help me take control of my body and mind.
“It’s gonna be alright. You’ll see, sissy, the guys will make us all safe. Nobody is going to let anything bad happen to you again.” Kaci means well when she shares these words with me, but the one thing Malibu and I never shared with them was the level of duplicity we suffered from Fern’s actions or lack thereof.
“You don’t understand,” I rasp out. “You don’t get it.” My body begins to shake, as if I’m coming down from an adrenaline high.
“Then help me to understand; together, we’ll figure it out and come up with a solution to make it all better,” she propositions.
“Later, let’s get her calmed down and breathing normally first,” Sky rationalizes with Kaci.
Rylie comes back with a tall glass of ice water, Sadie tosses a pill at me. They’re all looking skeptically at me, unsure of how to force this tablet down my throat. With shaky hands, I reach out for the round ‘miracle’ medication and grab the glass in my other. I manage to get it down and drink the entire glass of liquid. I’m escorted by the women to mine and Malibu’s room, where I’m tucked in
to bed as if I’m one of their children. They stick around, surrounding me in my bed while my body and mind give over to the drug and I eventually pass out.
* * *
When I wake, it’s to raised voices. I immediately recognize my sister and Malibu and hear them arguing. “Explain what she meant when she said Fern deceived her, Malibu,” Kaci shouts. I don’t remember stating anything of the sort. I must’ve talked about her in my sleep. It’s the only thing that makes any sense whatsoever. Jesus, somebody shoot me now, I didn’t want my sister to lose her shit over what I’ve learned when it pertained to one of the two people I’ve loved and admired most in my life. The two of us are used to the feeling of betrayal. Our first lesson in that had come from our father and his lack of interest in our life.
“Kaci, that conversation is between the two of you. I won’t step into this situation unless I know how Kassi wants to handle it and how she wants to share. She may not want you to know all of it. And I have to respect her wishes on that aspect,” Malibu says, and even though my eyes aren’t on him, I know that his face is reddening in irritation from my twin sister's inquisition.
“Kaci?” I sleepily call out her name. “Enough. Leave Malibu alone, I promise the two of us will sit down and talk, but right now, I just can’t relive that.” I hold back the chopped sob that wants to escape, Fern doesn’t deserve any more of my tears. I can’t believe I was still holding her in the highest regards after my memories resurfaced. I acted as if she was someone to be worshipped and missed with every beat of my heart; when the truth was so much different than my warped sense of loyalty.
Forever Yours: Rage Ryders Templeton Chapter Book 2 Page 7