by K. A. Gandy
“I know, I’m just saying, would it kill them to give us some good ribs and garlic bread? No, it would not.”
I chuckle at his valiant defense of barbecue as we walk up the steps. “Maybe there’s a comment card you can send to the kitchen.” I pat him on the back.
“That’s a good idea. I’ll ask the delivery guy when he gets here—which should be any minute.” He rubs his palms together in anticipation, but my attention has been captured once again by our blinking TV.
“That can’t be good,” I say and elbow Patrick to get his attention, pointing to the new message flashing in gold script.
“Your presence is requested in the guest house at your earliest convenience,” he reads off. “That’s interesting. I wonder why they’d pull us out of our little cocoon?”
My heart sinks to my gut. “I bet we’re going to get lectured on our lack of tracking . . .” I trail off.
“Well, if so, we’ll set them straight.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a quick peck. “Don’t worry about it, Sadie. They can’t rush us, even if they try.”
I give him a small return smile, but my stomach is rolling in nervous anticipation. We turn and head right back out of the cottage, and make the short walk to the guest house. I hold Patrick’s hand, and try not to think about the million ways this could be a bad thing.
We walk in the back door and are surprised to see a small crowd gathered in the sitting area. As soon as we walk in, Jared spots us and clinks on the side of a champagne flute with a butter knife.
“Now that we’re all here, if I could get everyone’s attention please! We have an exciting announcement,” he says, enthusiasm clear in his tone.
Relief floods my system as a pink-shirted employee presses a champagne flute into my hand. Although, on closer inspection, it doesn’t appear to be champagne in the glass.
“Today, we have a confirmed pregnancy!” Jared announces with a flourish, teeth glinting in a wide smile. “If you’d all raise your sparkling cider in a toast to the new parents, Teddy and Faith!” Cheers erupt around the room from the other couples and the staff, but my jaw hits the floor. I hurriedly scan the room, and spot Teddy and Faith standing towards the front of the group. He’s beaming down at her, and she looks happy but shocked.
“Can you believe it? Already?” Patrick looks down at me and takes in my shock. “Hey, this is good news!” He rubs my arm affectionately.
“I know, I’m really happy for them. I just can’t believe they didn’t tell us first,” I stammer, still turning the news over in my mind. They weren’t kidding about a ninety-nine percent match.
One by one, couples and staff alike come forward and offer congratulations and hugs to the parents-to-be. Patrick steers me to the back of the line, and my feet move without thought. Teddy is going to be a father! I’m going to be an aunt again! We continue shuffling forward, and eventually it’s our turn. Faith sees me and her eyes start to water. Lips trembling, she throws her arms around me in a bruising hug.
“Sadie, it actually happened, can you believe it?” Her voice cracks on the last word, and a choked sob is all that comes out next. I squeeze her back tightly, and look at Teddy over her shoulder. He’s patting Patrick on the back in that man-thumping way dudes do to avoid hugging. After a solid minute, Faith pulls back and puts both hands to her mouth, still in shock.
“Congratulations, Faith, I’m so happy for you,” I say with sincerity. “For both of you,” I add. Teddy pulls me in for a bear hug, and lifts my feet clean off the floor in the process.
“You’ll be next, baby sister, and then our kids will grow up best friends,” he whispers in my ear, and my eyes start to water. He puts me down, and I punch him in the arm.
“Don’t make me cry, you idiot!” I hastily wipe at my eyes, willing the tears to go away before they start. “I can’t believe you two didn’t tell us!” I give him an accusing glare.
“We didn’t know!” Faith cuts in. “Every day they collect a urine sample to test, and then your results load to your device later that evening. We weren’t due for results for another hour.” She looks up at Teddy, and gratefulness washes over her features. “Teddy, I can’t tell you how much this means to me, after so long. I—” Her voice cuts off, and she’s crying again.
This time it’s Faith he wraps in a gentle bear hug. “I know, Faith. I know,” he says soothingly.
Jared taps his fluted glass again to cut through the din of conversations around the room. “In celebration of this new life, we’ll be throwing a banquet this evening for the entire property! Dinner will be served in half an hour, so feel free to mingle until then.” He turns to Melissa, who’s been at his side, beaming throughout his announcement. They have a short but intense conversation before breaking apart.
Melissa scans the room, and her determined look lands on us. She makes her way through the crowded room like a bullet. “Hey, you two, I need an appointment with you at the medical facility. How does tomorrow around 9:30 sound?” Her voice is syrupy sweet, with a no-nonsense undertone.
Patrick cuts right to the chase. “What is this about?”
“Let’s not interrupt the celebration. I’ll see you both promptly at 9:30.” She turns and walks away without further room for argument.
I look at Patrick, worried. There’s no way that’s good.
The Principal’s Office
The celebratory dinner passes in a blur. Faith looks like she’s walking on a cloud, and Teddy looks elated the whole time. My heart clenches again, but this time with happiness. Faith deserves this. Not that anyone else doesn’t. I think of all the girls we left behind at the NLC. I have to put them out of mind for now, as this celebration is all about Teddy and Faith, and the new little life she’s growing. We sit directly across from them at dinner, and family-style trays of entrees, brought out in waves, cover the table in front of us at all times. The mood overall is jovial, and it’s easy to pretend that the other shoe isn’t going to drop tomorrow morning.
The wait staff keeps the sparkling cider flowing all evening, and before we know it, the dessert plates are empty and it’s time to walk back to our cottages. Faith and I link arms for the long walk down the beach, and she presses her other hand gently against her lower abdomen.
“I can’t believe there’s a baby in there, after all this time,” she says softly. “I don’t feel any different. Shouldn’t I feel different?” She looks at me, concern etched into her lovely moonlit features.
“I don’t know for sure, but I think that part comes later. I’m sure you can talk to the medical director about what to expect.”
She nods, appeased for now. “Just think, Sadie. You’ll probably be right behind us in a month or two! Isn’t it exciting to imagine our kids growing up together? They’ll each have a built-in best friend. I would have killed for that when I was growing up.”
My stomach rolls at the idea of being pregnant in a month. Or two months. I know it’s likely, assuming Patrick and I are ready to take our physical relationship to the next level soon. But, a baby? A living, breathing human to take care of? I’m not ready.
Thankfully we arrive at their cabin, and Teddy steals Faith from my arm to lead her up to their front door. She throws one last wave over her shoulder at me, before leaning her head on his shoulder as he unlocks their front door.
Teddy is going to be a great father. Sure, he’s a major goofball, and he’s still young. But he’s got a loyal streak a mile wide, and he’s already fallen hook, line, and sinker for Faith. I can’t imagine their baby will be any different.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Patrick says as we make our way down the last stretch of beach to the next cabin, ours.
I shake my head, unsure where to begin. Staring out at the moonlight reflected over the crashing waves, it feels like I could will it all away—the expectations, the oversight. Will away the forced urgency on our relationship. But, our relationship . . . I wouldn’t wish that away. The lies and the distance bet
ween us, yes. But him? The man at my side? No. He’s already burrowed into the very center of my soul, and I know deep down that I’ve been forever changed by even our brief time together.
We make our way up the front steps, and he lets me keep my thoughts to myself. With a small smile, he goes to the hall bathroom and I hear the rush of the shower turning on, the start of his nightly routine. It’s funny how I know that small detail about him already, even though we haven’t been living together long. And yet, it’s impossible for me to not know that he’s a morning person who loves the thrill of running before the sun’s up. He’s permanently kind and treats everyone he meets well, despite who his father is; despite who he might be. But also, he really, really sucks at playing Scrabble. The corner of my mouth quirks up as I remember yesterday when I’d discovered that tidbit. I’d crushed him, but he took it with grace.
The fact is, the longer we live together, the more I find myself drawn to him, like a moth drawn to a flame. The only question is, am I going to end up burnt up and destroyed, just like one of those moths? He’s lied to me once; how can I trust that he won’t again? And can I trust him beyond friendship, with a real marriage, and everything that comes with that?
The shower door claps shut down the hall, and I realize then that I’ve been standing, frozen in the doorway with my own thoughts. I force my feet to move, and go draw a bath in the other bathroom. One day at a time.
✽✽✽
It takes me forever to fall asleep, and then it’s a restless night of tossing and turning, in and out of the covers. Finally I drift off, and when I wake, I grow slowly aware of a warm and firm shoulder under my cheek and hands.
With a blink, I take a deep breath and the scent of Patrick floods my nose. Stiffening, it hits me. I am wrapped around Patrick’s chest like a barnacle, and his firm bicep is under my head. His breathing is steady and deep, so I slowly start to extract myself in hopes that he won’t wake up and realize I’d cuddled up against him like a lost puppy in the night.
Before I make it three inches away, he rumbles, “Good morning. Did you finally get some sleep?”
I jump to a sitting position, and the cold air of our room smacks all the parts of me that were so warm pressed against him.
This is so awkward! “Yes, uhm, how about you?” I push the bird’s nest of my hair away from my face, but the determined chestnut strands are still visible from the corner of my eye. I look anywhere but at his face. My eyes land on his chest, where his sleep shirt is pushed partway up and revealing a flat, toned stomach. Quickly I dart them elsewhere, where they land back on his face and his cheesy grin.
“Just fine, thanks. You don’t have to be embarrassed, Sadie. We’re married. If you want to cuddle, it’s allowed.” He lazily sits up and leans in close to me, where I feel like I’ve been rooted to the spot by his magnetism. “Encouraged, even,” he says in a whisper before pressing a warm, languid kiss to the side of my neck and climbing out of bed.
I shamelessly watch as he pads off to the bathroom, but he catches me when he stops to give me a wink before leaving the room. After a moment, when my heart climbs back down my throat to where it belongs, I scurry out of bed and into the bathroom, shutting the door a little too hard behind me. I spin and stare in the large mirror over the sink at my wild eyes and messy mop of hair. What is he trying to do to me?!
I finish my morning routine as slowly as possible, but finally I can’t hide any longer or we’ll be late for our meeting with the medical director. Ugh, Melissa. She’s acted so sunny and shiny until now, but something tells me that’s about to change.
I exit the bathroom dressed in my favorite jeans, flannel, and boots to find a smiling Patrick sipping a cup of coffee. “You ready?”
With a nod, he offers me a hand, and we head to the medical facility.
The tall glass doors open automatically, and warm air filled with a disinfectant tang rushes out and slaps us in the face. I wrinkle my nose at the sharp odor, but quickly put my shoulders back and my game face on as I spot Melissa waiting by the desk. She’s wearing pink scrubs again, but today her shoes have winged unicorns.
I am not scared of anybody who is wearing those shoes, I tell myself as she greets us.
“Patrick, Sadie! So good to see you both this morning. If you’ll follow me to my office, I have a few things I’d like to discuss with you.” She smiles, but the hard set of her jaw belies her jovial words. She spins on her unicorn-adorned heel, and leads us down the hallway to a door we didn’t see on our tour. She holds it for us to enter, and then closes it with a quiet click.
Taking seats in front of her desk, she crosses behind it and sits before clicking rapidly on a tablet. The lights dim, and her entire office wall to the left of us pops up a calendar display with bright pink highlights on it.
“So, it seems we have a small issue.” She cuts right to the chase. “Today is the final day of your fertile week, and we do not have any tracking activity for you two. What’s going on?” She clasps her hands under her chin and pins us to our seats with her stare.
We’re both silent for a beat before Patrick speaks up. “We are taking our time to get to know each other a bit better before taking things to the next level. As you know from our file, our time at the NLC was not exactly restful. There was a kidnapping attempt, and Sadie had seven matches to contend with. Neither one of us wants to rush into this.” His voice is calm, but his tone is no-nonsense.
My heart warms at his words, and the way he includes himself instead of blaming it on me being a chicken.
She taps her index fingers together thoughtfully, and it’s a long moment before she responds. “I see.”
It’s silent for another beat, before she looks down and taps her tablet a few times and the lights go back up to normal.
“I understand that you two had a bumpier ride getting here than some couples, and I sympathize. I really do. However, the primary objective of this program is no secret. The human race is in trouble, and we can’t let perfectly healthy couples wait around for the mood to strike. Every month is a critical opportunity, right from the start.” She pauses, to see if her words are having any effect on us.
Patrick crosses his arms over his chest and stares her down.
Melissa is the first to look away, but she isn’t dissuaded. “I have no desire to be the bad guy here, I do hope you know that. But I also have a responsibility to ensure that this program pushes every couple to their best chance of conception. And we simply cannot have you two squandering your time in this way. So, this is your only free pass. If you have not tracked anything before next month’s fertile week begins, we’ll have to assign you to an intensive getaway until that changes.” She purses her lips and shifts her eyes between the two of us.
It’s all I can do not to let my anger show, so I look down to my lap. Patrick on the other hand, feels no such hesitation. “Listen, Melissa. I understand you’re in a tough spot. But Sadie is my wife. And I refuse to rush her before she’s ready. So, you can send us on an intensive getaway. Hell, you can send us to Mars if you want. But you will. Not. Force. This. Not until she’s ready. Do you understand?” He punctuates his anger with a fingertip to the top of her desk with each staccato syllable.
She leans back in her desk chair, but she doesn’t look intimidated by his display of fury. Instead, she focuses her attention on me. “So, Sadie, are you having some anxiety about physical intimacy? Is that the issue here?” She waves between us, as if the problem will materialize for her to diagnose.
“No.” I finally speak up with indignation. “I’m not having anxiety. I was just raised that you should get to know someone before you get physical with them. This program doesn’t change the way I was raised, and I’m not a girl who’s comfortable jumping into bed with someone I don’t know well.”
She shakes her head slowly. “Sadie, I’m disappointed. I thought you knew how important this program is for the future of humanity. There’s so much more at stake here than your small-town i
deals. I do hope you’ll reconsider. Either way, you two can see yourselves out. I have another appointment.” She picks up her tablet, and brushes past us out the door without another glance.
I turn to Patrick, unsure how to take the abrupt ending to this unpleasant meeting. He reaches over and wraps my hand in his, thumb gently grazing my knuckles and leaving a pleasant tingle in its wake.
“Don’t worry about it, Sadie. They can’t force us, even if they send us on an intensive getaway. Who cares? This is not up for them to decide, and all the threats in the world can’t change what we decide. Okay?” He lifts his other hand and runs his thumb gently along my chin. “Do you mind if we run to the guest house before we head back? I’d like to run by the front desk and ask them if we have any letters.”
I force a smile for his benefit, but I’m not so sure they won’t try to force this, one way or another. One month. I let out a long breath. It’s not a lot of time, but I guess it will have to be enough.
✽✽✽
Patrick heads straight for the front desk, so I wander over to the dining room to see if they have any snacks set out this afternoon. To my surprise, Odette is already there, standing immobile in front of the side table which, to my delight, is covered in fresh baked goods.
“Hey, Odette.” I greet her as I grab a large plate—I’ve got to have room to get some snacks for Patrick, too—but she doesn’t respond. “Odette? You okay?” I ask, concerned with her seemingly catatonic state.
She startles as if jolted, and finally notices me standing next to her. “Oh, hello, Sadie. Am I in your way? I’ll go.” Her voice is flat, and she turns to leave with silent grace.
“Wait, don’t go! You haven’t even gotten a snack yet.” I point to the well-laden table.
She raises one eyebrow in surprise. “You’re right, I haven’t.” She gives me a tentative smile.
“What are you waiting for? Dig in!” I hand her my plate, and grab another. “So, no Dominic today?”