by K. A. Gandy
Hey, Mom, yeah, that’s right. I was married to a really nice, gorgeous, understanding guy. Yep, we had two kids together, and then I kicked him to the curb because I didn’t want the hassle of being a political wife. Or queen. Or, whatever. The thought trails off, and I’m pulled back into the present by Faith’s question.
“What do you think, Sadie? Do you think it matters if we’re a monarchy? I don’t really see how it matters one way or another. We haven’t elected a new prime minister in over a decade, anyway.”
I blink twice, trying to think of something intelligent to say. “Well, it’s definitely a huge political difference, but with the way things are for women already, I don’t know how much of a difference it makes to us individually. We already can’t hold jobs or get a higher education until we’ve had children, and raising kids makes it harder to pursue a career, regardless of who’s in charge. Plus, with the latest emergency declaration, I’m not sure how that would work even after we have kids, since there’s no longer a cap of two babies and you’re released.” I frown, remembering Jenna and how much she wanted to go join the NAA ranks and become a pilot.
“Well, it’s impossible to tell without knowing the son. I mean, he could be like his dad and keep the status quo, or he could be better or worse for women’s rights,” Carolina muses. “I’m sure he’s not going to do away with the program either way though, with the population numbers still so bad.”
“Can you imagine how his new wife must feel? It’s a pure stroke of luck to have the right genes to snag a could-be-prince,” Faith says dreamily.
I stay silent, as it doesn’t feel lucky to me that Patrick could become a prince. In fact, I’m rooting for it not to happen. As long as we’re still a democracy, he can live the life he wants, not be forced into a political role. That’s one way in which it’s as much out of his hands as it is mine. He would be swept up in a role he couldn’t escape, too. A pang of compassion strikes my heart, and I reach for Patrick’s hand under the table and I give it a small squeeze. He squeezes my hand in return, and my heart warms.
The employee with the remote turns up the volume, and the reporter’s words wash over us again. “I’d like to draw your attention to the protestors we have outside the capitol. Rather than protesting the monarchy, you’ll see that most are actually in favor. However, we are seeing several signs calling for an unveiling of the prime minister’s son. Historically speaking, the people would know who the monarchy would be passed on to from birth of the child, but our situation is different given the fact that we don’t currently have a royal family in place. While the public has no way of forcing the issue, his extreme seclusion from the public eye up until now could negatively impact the vote’s outcome.”
The screen fills with the feed of men outside the capitol holding signs with crowns painted on them and sayings like “Monarchy Now,” and it flashes to one that says “Prince Royce, You’re Our Choice.” I feel Patrick stiffen beside me, and he squeezes my hand again.
The blonde news anchor pops back into the frame. “As you can see, the question on everyone’s mind right now is, who is the mysterious son of Prime Minister Royce, and who is his new bride? As a nation, it seems that everyone wants to know that our political foundation is secure, as well as our future. I’m Candy Thomas, and we at NAA One are always first to bring you global news.”
“What’s crazy is, this guy is out there at a honeymoon resort right now, same as us. How do you think they are still keeping his identity a secret? He’s got to have a security detail, right?” Teddy postulates.
Patrick finally speaks, “Maybe, maybe not. The security at the NLC and each of the resorts is top notch anyway. You saw that there was a kidnapping attempt in Georada, so the stakes are already high as long as there are extremists trying to abduct women.”
Teddy claps him on the shoulder. “Patrick was a guard at the Georada NLC before getting matched with Sadie, so he would know.”
Chimes start coming from Faith’s mini-tablet, which she pulls out of a pocket. “Ten minutes until our appointment. Are you done, Teddy? We can start walking over so we don’t have to rush.”
“Sure thing, beautiful.” He slides his chair out and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before taking her hand. “See y’all later. We’ll try to swing by for a movie tonight when we’re done with our tests.”
We all wave as they leave, but before they’re out the door my mind is already turning over the implications of the growing unrest.
✽✽✽
After making plans to meet up for an evening movie, we excuse ourselves from breakfast and head back to our cottage. The silence between us is tense, like a rubber band about to snap. An outsider would probably not notice anything, but I can see that Patrick’s jaw is clenched and his stride is choppier than usual. His agitation is clear to me, but I am not sure how to help him.
He opens our front door with robotic movements, and holds it for me to enter. Rather than slam it, he shuts it with a quiet click. I fidget with the hem of my jacket as I wait for him to start the conversation.
He starts pacing between the living room and dining room table without a word. He runs his hands through his hair twice and makes about ten laps before he starts speaking, “I can’t figure out who would have leaked the information that I got married. It seems like a targeted thing, meant to stir up another monarchy vote, well before it would have come up again otherwise. The last two times someone called for a vote, they were nearly seven years apart. It hasn’t even been three years since the last vote was called!”
He throws his hands in the air, and I mentally turn over what he’s said. “Can you contact your parents and ask if they know who leaked the information? It can’t be widely known, right?”
“No, it is a very small circle of people who know my current identity—that’s what’s bothering me. Although, given they leaked only the marriage and not my assumed name, I would guess that they are outside that circle, and perhaps heard the vague information inside my father’s office. It’s very possible he, or Mom, confided in someone about the marriage, and someone overheard.” His lips press together in an angry line. “Unfortunately, I can’t contact them without potentially giving the leak my name and location—until it’s determined who the informant was. I imagine they would have already contacted me to give me a heads up if they’d already identified the person.”
“So, we’re stuck waiting for them to reach out, then?”
He nods once, sharply but doesn’t stop pacing.
“Hey, come here.” I hold out my arms, and he stops and takes the two steps to reach me. I slowly slide my hands up to his shoulders, and wrap them softly around the back of his neck.
His intense gaze turns questioning as I play with the hair under my fingertips. “I’m sorry someone told the press about our wedding, and I’m sorry that it’s caused the monarchy bill to come back to a vote sooner than you were expecting—” I trail off, but continue rubbing small soothing circles on the back of his neck.
His eyes flutter closed, and he touches his forehead to mine. “It’s not the first time the media has gotten hold of information about me, but this one could have a serious impact. It’s not only my privacy at stake anymore. It’s the future governance of an entire continent of people.”
The weight of those words sink in, but I don’t stop rubbing. Instead, I up the ante with a tender kiss to his cheek. “There’s nothing we can do about that right now, Patrick. As much as I’d like to wave a magic wand and make all of it disappear, you can’t change who you are, any more than I can change who I am.”
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly. We stay like that for a long moment, not speaking, simply soaking in the comfort of each other’s arms. It feels so right to be here with him, comforting him.
“Thank you, Sadie. You’re right, there’s nothing to be done but wait for now. It’s unusual for my parents to let something like this get out. They’ve kept me out of the spotlight for so long, it
doesn’t make sense to me that they would suddenly slip up after all these years. I hate that my name and family could be putting you in danger.” The words come out slightly muffled against my hair.
I pull back and look him in the eye, so there’s no mistaking my sincerity. “Patrick, I was in danger before I picked you. Being a polymorph, heck, being a fertile woman at all in this society puts a kidnapping target on my back. That’s not your fault, and right now no one except us and the director back in Georada knows I’m your wife.”
He sighs. “I still don’t like it. If something happened to you because of your connection to me, I’d never forgive myself. I—” He stops, and it seems like he’s going to say something else, but he doesn’t. He swallows once, hard and looks down at our feet. “I’m sorry to put you through this.”
I squeeze both of his hands. “It’s okay, Patrick. It really is. We’re going to be fine. What do you say I bake some more cookies to take over to Carolina and Emmett’s place for the movie tonight?”
His eyes are still sad, but he smiles at me anyway. “That sounds good. Chocolate chip?”
I pour all of my enthusiasm into my return smile. “Anything you want. But you’re doing the dishes.”
He barks out a startled laugh, but trails behind me into the kitchen without complaint.
Run for Cover
The next day dawns, and I find myself once again wrapped around Patrick’s warm torso like an octopus. This time, I’ve even tossed my left leg over him to stop his escape. A small part of me wonders if I should feel guilty that I’ve blocked him from getting up for his beloved early morning run again, but I dismiss the idea. If he wanted to get up early like usual, he could still sneak out.
Before I even move, he teases me. “Good morning, sleeping beauty. Did you sleep well?”
My blush spreads like wildfire as I withdraw my leg. “Yes, I did. How about you? No run this morning?”
His chest rumbles under my cheek with a low laugh. “Somehow I couldn’t disentangle myself and face the cold.”
“I thought you liked the early morning cold?”
He wraps both arms around me, and gives me a quick kiss on the top of the head. “Given the choice between running alone in the cold, and staying in bed and snuggling with my gorgeous, warm wife—it’s no contest.”
His words send a thrill of warmth tingling through me. I smack a quick kiss on his chest before answering, “You’re not so bad to snuggle, yourself. Although you are kind of lumpy.” I poke his hard pectoral muscle with my finger.
This time his laugh is deep, and before I even realize what’s happening, I’m on my back, staring up at a grinning Patrick. “In a poking mood this morning, are we? Well, I guess I’ve got to poke these ribs then!” His fingers walk up the side of my ribcage, and it sends a jolt of lighting straight through my thin sleep shirt. For a moment I’m frozen in surprise, but then the wave of ticklishness pulls me under.
“Patrick! You have to stop! Oh, my gosh, I’m going to pee!” I smack his hands away from my ribs, but his grin turns devilish and he continues the attack.
I flip to my stomach to protect my ribs from his questing fingertips, and he trails both hands down my back in a slow maneuver instead. I freeze, every muscle clenched in anticipation of the next wave of tickling, but it doesn’t come. His warm hands span nearly my entire back, and this time when I shudder, it’s from heat, not ticklishness. He slowly works his hands up and down a few times, and it feels like my bones are melting from the sensation. A single sigh escapes me, and he presses a warm kiss at the base of my neck.
In that instant, two things happened—first, it felt like his kiss sent a wave of molten heat through me. Second, it felt like my entire body locked up on instinct. Patrick felt me stiffen underneath his attentive hands, and sat back on his heels. “Are you okay, Sadie?”
“Yes, I’m fine, totally fine. Just, uhm, ready to get going and grab some breakfast. I’m starving!” I practically leap from the bed and the bathroom door slips from my clumsy fingers and slams shut behind me much harder than I meant it to. Rather than race to get ready as I’d told Patrick, I give myself a long look in the bathroom mirror. When am I going to stop being a chicken? I’m falling for him. More than falling for him.
I hear the sound of Patrick’s footsteps retreating to the hall, and the soft click of the other bathroom door closing behind him. Only then do I blow out a heavy sigh and give myself one last shake of my head in the mirror. If I can’t even admit how I feel to myself, how will I admit it to him? And what happens once we take the next step?
My body methodically moves through my morning routine, but my mind won’t stop replaying this morning’s interactions over again with Patrick. It’s the elephant in the room, the building question of when we’ll take things to the next step. But, he’s made it clear many times over that the decision is fully in my hands. What if I can’t make the leap? Will we be stuck hanging in this in-between zone forever? No, because the resort won’t let us wait around forever.
After I’m dressed, I make my way out to the living room where Patrick’s sipping a cup of coffee on the couch. My breath catches at his attractiveness. He’s wearing simple jeans and a long-sleeved blue Henley which makes the blue of his eyes shine brightly. So casual, yet so irresistible to me. I stand there, uncertain, and the silence grows between us like a balloon about to burst. He seems unbothered, but it’s like an itch to my skin that I have to scratch.
“I’m sorry I froze up before, I—I have no idea how to go from where we are now to where . . .” I trail off, unable to vocalize what was eating me up inside, despite my best efforts. Frustration rolls over me in a wave. Why is this so hard for me?
He balances the coffee cup on his knee. “Sadie, you don’t have to apologize to me. It’s okay, we’re taking things slow. Things will progress in their own way. I’m happy with whatever is making you happy.” He frowns slightly. “Unless, it’s not making you happy? Do you feel like things are moving too fast, still?”
I groan. “No, that’s the thing. They’re not too fast. Maybe—” I swallow past the sudden, intrusive lump in my throat. “Maybe it’s the opposite?” My voice sounds high to my own ears.
His eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t respond immediately.
I rush to fill the empty space. “I’m scared I'll never pull the trigger. What if I keep holding back forever, and things get worse with the medical director and the pressure will keep on building and—won’t that make it more awkward, and I don’t—I don’t want it to be this forced thing and—"
He stands and sets his coffee on the end table. In two strides, he’s standing in front of me, and he cups my face in his hands. “Sadie, you are overthinking this, love.” He kisses me lightly on the nose, and looks deep into my eyes. “I know it’s hard, because of the circumstances that brought us together, but you have to put all of that aside when it’s just us. There’s no outside pressure, there’s no genetic testing, there’s no deadline, there’s no population responsibility. There’s you,”—he kisses my nose again—“there’s me,”—his kiss lands on my cheek—“and that’s it,” he whispers and places his last kiss right on my barely parted lips.
My brain blanks out at his kiss, and the anxiety flows out of me in a rush. Is it really that simple? Can I really let go of everything and be in the moment with him?
He pulls back, and his thumb lazily strokes my cheek, lulling me into quiescence. I search his handsome face for any signs of discontent but find none.
“Now, my beautiful wife, would you like to go get some breakfast with me?” He holds out his hand in invitation.
I take his hand, and he leads me out of the cabin, and out of my uncertainties. In my heart, I know I’d follow this man anywhere.
✽✽✽
Breakfast is uneventful, but tasty. Afterward, we are scheduled to go sailing in the harbor with Teddy and Faith, so we grab jackets from the cabin and head to meet them at the front of the guest house.
&n
bsp; “I think we need to tell your brother and Faith who I am. I know we got interrupted last time on the hike, but, if the informant who leaked our marriage news is able to find my identity or location, we wouldn’t be safe here. I would not be able to forgive myself if they were caught up in my own personal maelstrom.” His hands are in his pockets, and his eyes are downcast to the small grassy path.
“I agree, we should tell them today if we can. But, Patrick, there’s nothing you can do if someone finds out we’re here. Frankly, there’s nothing Teddy and Faith can do, either. They’re stuck here for at least her first trimester.” I can’t help but shudder remembering the day we toured the medical facility, and the medical director said that going home wasn’t guaranteed, even then. My knee still hasn’t completely healed from the cuts I got from the beach stones in my hasty escape from that particular dose of reality.
“I’ve been thinking that over, ever since we saw the news report yesterday. One of your brothers is in the NAA Police force, right? Maybe Teddy could call him and have him pull some strings. Make up a family emergency? Anything to get them back in Georada, and out of the line of crossfire.” He grows silent as we continue around the side of the building.
“Yeah, Peter is. But, I don’t think he’d be able to do anything. I’m not even sure what he does other than travel around on official business and look intimidating in camo.”
Patrick snorts at my description. “Really? Well, hopefully Teddy has some ideas. But as soon as we’ve got a moment alone, we need to tell them. Warn them.”